@funkykey yes! I hit bottom one day when I was getting bloated before AF and he saw my belly protruding and was like "damn girl what month you in?" (trying to be funny using a fat joke since I had just gotten done working out). Well, I broke down pretty hard and he was immediately like "I'm sorry! You're not fat!" I just looked at him long and hard between sobs and it hit him that it wasn't about jokingly calling me fat, but that he made a pregnant joke when I might not ever get to be pregnant. Once I saw him realize I could see the weight of what I've been carrying finally get through and he came over and held me. After that he started being active about seeking treatment. He still thinks we need to "try harder" but is going along without much fuss now.
@MariaBend25 - that's good. Sometimes, even when we're vocal about our feelings, the people we're with don't see until we've expressed the emotions in other ways, and over time... I know I do that to my H too, albeit about other things... Anyway, it is good to share the weight.
@MariaBend25@funkykey I definitely agree about people not seeing until we've expressed emotions in other ways over time. I think what really struck DH with how I feel was when a couple who are really close to us announced their second pregnancy. The guy said, "you better hurry or you'll never catch up!" and I had to leave the room and cry. Luckily this was all over the phone, so they didn't know I had left for a bit. We haven't shared fully what's been going on with us, because DH is really sensitive about his issues and doesn't want to tell his friends. I respect that, so we've just mentioned my issues. But when this happened, DH afterwards said to me "this is really hard on you, isn't it? I hadn't realized how upset you were by the whole thing" so in a way I was happy that the whole situation had come up, because I think he understands more where I am currently.
Re: Benched and waiting...anyone else benched?
@MariaBend25 - it sounds like your DH has warmed to the idea of treatment.
yes! I hit bottom one day when I was getting bloated before AF and he saw my belly protruding and was like "damn girl what month you in?" (trying to be funny using a fat joke since I had just gotten done working out). Well, I broke down pretty hard and he was immediately like "I'm sorry! You're not fat!" I just looked at him long and hard between sobs and it hit him that it wasn't about jokingly calling me fat, but that he made a pregnant joke when I might not ever get to be pregnant. Once I saw him realize I could see the weight of what I've been carrying finally get through and he came over and held me. After that he started being active about seeking treatment. He still thinks we need to "try harder" but is going along without much fuss now.