I don't speak with my father. And if it weren't for the fact that I have guardianship of my 16 yr old sister who shares the same mother, I wouldn't have any contact with her either.
My UO is I dont agree the slightest bit when people say "well, no matter what that's your mom/parent so you have to deal with it" or "family is family, you don't have to like them, but they'll always be there"
@happylifex3 I totally agree. I also think if your parents aren't going to make an effort, there's only so much you can do. My mom makes a point to stay in DH's life and come visit us when we can't make it back home that month. On the other hand, I'll get an occasional text from my dad and DH gets the same from his parents. We live 45 minutes away but we're always the ones expected to drive there rather than them come here. We see my dad and DH's parents maybe 4x/year each because of it.
@happylifex3 I totally agree with you. Although I have a very good relationship with my family I don't really believe that blood is thicker than water. I believe that the people that chose to be in our lives, love, and support us without obligation are sometimes much more important that people that are in our lives because of genetic lottery.
So so I think Teresa Caputo/the Long Island medium is legit. I'm not spiritual in any way, but I think her shit is real!! I can't help it! She is just so spot on too many times! She's coming to my town at the end of the month and I'm going. Maybe that more a FFC but I don't care, I'm going!! (And I bought VIP tickets so I could be closer to the action and not up in the nosebleeds, so even more embarrassing!)
@aehogan90@d@dmbfan46835 while Ed Sheeran isn't attractive, he does have a great live show. I saw him a few years ago when he opened for Taylor Swift (got tickets through work as a reward) and I was amazed.
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
My UO for today is that I really hate Facebook. I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but a quick scroll through my news feed this morning resulted in one person complaining about how bad their diahhrea is (seriously?), baby update week 38, and people who voted for Trump regretting their descision. I could've gone without all that this morning. But, I check it anyway...
@happylifex3 I always assume people who say things like that either have normal families, or are too damaged inside to know the things their "loved ones" do are not normal. My husband only has 2 relatives he still speaks with (he used to see his grandparents too, but they passed away) and I'd rather have a small but functional and supportive group than all the pain and drama.
People who post Throwback Thursday pictures that are only a few weeks old are attention whores. We all saw how great your hair looked in that photo from 6 weeks ago...you really don't need to repost it again so soon.
@strawberrytree I feel that way about MCM and WCW pics too. I know a couple that's been together maybe 6 mos and literally every Monday and Wednesday they post pics of each other and go on and on about how their love is real and how they can get thru anything and how haters gonna hate, blah blah blah. Quit trying so hard.
I hate the word fiancé, and I freaking use it all the time on these boards because it's the best way to describe my relationship with my man, but it makes me cringe. I literally can't wait to be legally married just so I don't ever have to say it again.
@thistle8677 It took me months to transition from calling DH "boyfriend" to "fiance". I agree it feels weird! It also bugs me when people don't use the correct version - fiancé for male, fiancée for female.
UO: I remember seeing someone on another board bring up this point and 100% agreed with it... It's weird when non-regulars post in the U/S or HDBD thread. Like...who are you? Seems random to literally not participate in a single thread EVER, but flaunt bumps and U/S pics like we are going to be super excited to see them.
I agree that blood relative does not equal stronger relationship/"you just have to deal with it".
My UO is that I see/read articles about how to "gently" talk your child out of a tantrum, or how to use different verbiage instead of threatening discipline, etc. etc. Like, okay, perfect parent, you try to "gently" and "calmly" coax my DD into a coat while she's flailing and thrashing about and it's 40 below outside so "just don't put a jacket on her" isn't a quite practical option. Oh, and when she tosses her cereal (with milk in it) on the floor, you try rationally explaining to her that there are other ways to for her to communicate that she's dissatisfied with the breakfast option she chose 4 minutes ago.
Don't get me wrong, I don't constantly freak out on my kid, but if the situation calls for it, a time out (sometimes for both of us) and a stern demeanor is necessary!
@dmbfan46835 I used to cry everytime I watched an episode of Long Island Medium bc I felt for all the people getting closure with their loved ones. My MIL and SIL went to see her two yrs ago bc they love her too and they were underwhelmed by the "show" I guess you call it? They sat close as well and said that she kind of just asked questions that could relate to anyone and tried to narrow it down to one person, but still didn't get as in depth with them as she does on the show. Now that my Debbie Downer schtick is done, I hope you have a better experience than they did!
@secicc12 I 100% agree with you. I am tempted all the time to just post "who are you??" when anyone posts in the US or HDBD, or even when they make a random thread, and ask a question that has been covered. It drives me insane!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@szwill86 oh no! I wondered how she could do it all. I kinda figured it would have to be different with so many people there to read. That sucks MIL and SIL didn't have a good time. I keep trying to tell myself that no way I will get a reading so I won't be completely heartbroken. But not gonna lie, I'd love to hear from my grandparents who pretty much raised me.
@HappyToBeHere I completely agree, my three year old DD knows how to buckle he car seat (had been able to for like 4-5 months), but just started refusing to do so. And when I nicely try to help her she loses it. Like child you HAVE to be buckled up, no exceptions. It takes a "threat" of her blanket going into a time out for the car ride to usually do the trick. That's just an example, also what we go threw almost every time we go anywhere. I use the blanket getting a "time out" because it is the ONLY thing that works for her in particularly. It certainly isn't to be mean to her or make her feel like I'm taking something from her because I always give it back and explain why I took it etc. (if I even have to take it from her, because if you "threaten" you should follow threw). Thrashing toddler = no fun.
Met DH 2008-engaged 8/10/2011-married 7/21/12
DD1 born on her due date 05/01/2012 7lbs12oz and 19 3/4 inches long
DD2 born 12/07/2013 @ 39w6d 8lbs15oz 20 3/4 inches long
#3 EDD 09/27/2015 ~ we are going for a HOME birth!
@secicc12 I 100% agree with you. I am tempted all the time to just post "who are you??" when anyone posts in the US or HDBD, or even when they make a random thread, and ask a question that has been covered. It drives me insane!
I'm like that all the time on here. I would even ask but with our super duper sunshine crew I feel like people would just think I'm a bully.
Sometimes I check people's post history before responding to the random posts. If I see they've given no support to others or participation, I skip it.
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
@Mango517 I do that almost every time now. I really look to see if they have intro'd themselves and then look for more than a one off post. If they havent then I just leave. I have no interest n AW posts. @Nxy I agree that we are a bit to sunshiny over here. There are so many posts that really should be flamed, but that just doesn't seem to work as well on this board . . . I really like a good flaming.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@HappyToBeHere I worked as a 1:1 aide to a special ed kid last year (and have the scars to prove it). One of the interesting things was that while I could remain calm while dealing with screaming/flailing/biting/destructive behavior and documenting it, there were other teachers who were visibly agitated any time they were near it, or who just refused to assist in consistent protective, corrective measures. It definitely took a certain personality (and practice) to get the speech patterns down e.g. "When you hit my face, it hurts me and I'm scared you might break my glasses. Time out."
@secicc12 I 100% agree with you. I am tempted all the time to just post "who are you??" when anyone posts in the US or HDBD, or even when they make a random thread, and ask a question that has been covered. It drives me insane!
I'm like that all the time on here. I would even ask but with our super duper sunshine crew I feel like people would just think I'm a bully.
I'm someone who naturally avoids conflict unless I feel it's absolutely necessary, but I'm guessing by the time we all get into the third trimester in the heat of summer we can expect some snarky comments.
I'm NOT counting down the days until I meet LO. I'm not not excited, of course, I'm just trying to enjoy every last second I can of not being someone's mom for the last time in my life. I know that this baby is going to change everything, so I'm reveling in not being attentive to anyone's need but my own. I only get 24 more weeks of this freedom (that said, of course I'm looking forward to motherhood, too, and being able to meet this human I'm building from scratch, and raise it to be the best person it can be and teach it all about the awesome things the world has to offer)
@Nxy you're not a bully. I rarely post. Most of the time when I want to post something I think it'll come off too harsh for this group.
I agree - you are definitely not a bully. It's starting to bother me a little more, especially now that we've been here a few months supporting each other. I'd have expected the randos to drop off by now. I say we start posting what we really want to instead of tiptoeing around trying to be overly nice.
I'm like @thistle8677 and don't really like confrontation, especially with strangers haha. But some snark is necessary so you do you @nxy@britvahok@littlebug2010 and @secicc12! I'll be over here with my popcorn and may even jump in before this pregnancy is over!!
I hate the word fiancé, and I freaking use it all the time on these boards because it's the best way to describe my relationship with my man, but it makes me cringe. I literally can't wait to be legally married just so I don't ever have to say it again.
DH and I have been engaged for what seems like ever. It just works for us at the moment but I call him my husband to just about everyone. I hate calling him my boyfriend because we've been together for five years. And because I hate that word as well I'm just like "screw it". We know what our relationship is and that's all that matters
I'm NOT counting down the days until I meet LO. I'm not not excited, of course, I'm just trying to enjoy every last second I can of not being someone's mom for the last time in my life. I know that this baby is going to change everything, so I'm reveling in not being attentive to anyone's need but my own. I only get 24 more weeks of this freedom
This was one of my main reasons for waiting so long to have kids. Enjoying my own time. As soon as you have a kid, you're a mom. Even if they are out of the house and a grown up, you're still a mom. I wanted to extend this glorious adult freedom for as long as possible.
I'm actually really happy that I'm delivering (hopefully) at the end of August and get one last summer before the baby arrives. Right now I'm in hyper mode to cram in spontaneous nights out and lots of time spent sitting enjoying the silence.
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
Im glad to see more people getting annoyed with the random posts!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@lyse01 You are so right. Also when kids sense that you are more agitated or upset with their behavior it can become worse. I also can't say I am never short with my kids, I always try to keep my cool even when I'm getting upset, but you can tell they know when you are having a not so perfect day. At least mine do.
Met DH 2008-engaged 8/10/2011-married 7/21/12
DD1 born on her due date 05/01/2012 7lbs12oz and 19 3/4 inches long
DD2 born 12/07/2013 @ 39w6d 8lbs15oz 20 3/4 inches long
#3 EDD 09/27/2015 ~ we are going for a HOME birth!
@happylifex3, same. We've been together for 5 years, living together for 4 years with my kids and we got engaged nearly 2 years ago. Unfortunately, he got really sick after we got engaged and so instead of planning a wedding, we spent time in and out of hospitals and back and forth to over 30 drs and specialists. It's our "normal" now. We are talking about getting legally married next month and waiting to plan an actual wedding down the road when we can afford to do so.
Like @britvahok, I typically don't type up the things that run through my mind on here because I know most of the time it won't be well received. There has to be a middle ground between sunshine and rainbows and .. July lol. And as has happened before I'm expecting some weird random to come out of the woodwork and start talking about how they don't understand why there has to be snark or organization on the board at all and let's all hold hands and welcome motherhood with love and magic in our hearts..
@secicc12@littlebug2010@nxy I am pretty random, I mostly post in PGAL board, Ticker change, and boards I feel I can be helpful. That being said, even as a random I wouldn't blame you for questioning a drive by post. Then again, my first was born in 2015 which seemed to be a snarky year, so maybe I think of it as the norm?
I'm NOT counting down the days until I meet LO. I'm not not excited, of course, I'm just trying to enjoy every last second I can of not being someone's mom for the last time in my life. I know that this baby is going to change everything, so I'm reveling in not being attentive to anyone's need but my own. I only get 24 more weeks of this freedom
This was one of my main reasons for waiting so long to have kids. Enjoying my own time. As soon as you have a kid, you're a mom. Even if they are out of the house and a grown up, you're still a mom. I wanted to extend this glorious adult freedom for as long as possible.
I'm actually really happy that I'm delivering (hopefully) at the end of August and get one last summer before the baby arrives. Right now I'm in hyper mode to cram in spontaneous nights out and lots of time spent sitting enjoying the silence.
DH found tickets for a comedian we both love for a Friday night in October. We're like, well, damn, probably can't buy those- a babysitter for a newborn on a Friday night isn't going to happen. If there was a matinee or a Saturday night show we could have asked our parents to come sit, but we can't ask them to come out on a Friday night after work. The lack of freedom is already starting!
Like @britvahok, I typically don't type up the things that run through my mind on here because I know most of the time it won't be well received. There has to be a middle ground between sunshine and rainbows and .. July lol. And as has happened before I'm expecting some weird random to come out of the woodwork and start talking about how they don't understand why there has to be snark or organization on the board at all and let's all hold hands and welcome motherhood with love and magic in our hearts.
Please snark away to your heart's content, I swear I won't report anyone. I just earned the 4 year badge over on TK (different screen name) with no warnings. If we can survive TK snark we can survive TB, surely.
Re: UO 3/9
My UO is I dont agree the slightest bit when people say "well, no matter what that's your mom/parent so you have to deal with it" or "family is family, you don't have to like them, but they'll always be there"
No. Just no.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
So so I think Teresa Caputo/the Long Island medium is legit. I'm not spiritual in any way, but I think her shit is real!! I can't help it! She is just so spot on too many times! She's coming to my town at the end of the month and I'm going. Maybe that more a FFC but I don't care, I'm going!! (And I bought VIP tickets so I could be closer to the action and not up in the nosebleeds, so even more embarrassing!)
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
@aehogan90 Wut? Shape of You is my jam!
My UO for today is that I really hate Facebook. I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but a quick scroll through my news feed this morning resulted in one person complaining about how bad their diahhrea is (seriously?), baby update week 38, and people who voted for Trump regretting their descision. I could've gone without all that this morning. But, I check it anyway...
I literally can't wait to be legally married just so I don't ever have to say it again.
UO: I remember seeing someone on another board bring up this point and 100% agreed with it... It's weird when non-regulars post in the U/S or HDBD thread. Like...who are you? Seems random to literally not participate in a single thread EVER, but flaunt bumps and U/S pics like we are going to be super excited to see them.
My UO is that I see/read articles about how to "gently" talk your child out of a tantrum, or how to use different verbiage instead of threatening discipline, etc. etc. Like, okay, perfect parent, you try to "gently" and "calmly" coax my DD into a coat while she's flailing and thrashing about and it's 40 below outside so "just don't put a jacket on her" isn't a quite practical option. Oh, and when she tosses her cereal (with milk in it) on the floor, you try rationally explaining to her that there are other ways to for her to communicate that she's dissatisfied with the breakfast option she chose 4 minutes ago.
Don't get me wrong, I don't constantly freak out on my kid, but if the situation calls for it, a time out (sometimes for both of us) and a stern demeanor is necessary!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
I totally sound like a crazy person! Lol
Sometimes I check people's post history before responding to the random posts. If I see they've given no support to others or participation, I skip it.
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
(that said, of course I'm looking forward to motherhood, too, and being able to meet this human I'm building from scratch, and raise it to be the best person it can be and teach it all about the awesome things the world has to offer)
I'm actually really happy that I'm delivering (hopefully) at the end of August and get one last summer before the baby arrives. Right now I'm in hyper mode to cram in spontaneous nights out and lots of time spent sitting enjoying the silence.
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
We are talking about getting legally married next month and waiting to plan an actual wedding down the road when we can afford to do so.
And as has happened before I'm expecting some weird random to come out of the woodwork and start talking about how they don't understand why there has to be snark or organization on the board at all and let's all hold hands and welcome motherhood with love and magic in our hearts..
With a touch of this...
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
DH found tickets for a comedian we both love for a Friday night in October. We're like, well, damn, probably can't buy those- a babysitter for a newborn on a Friday night isn't going to happen. If there was a matinee or a Saturday night show we could have asked our parents to come sit, but we can't ask them to come out on a Friday night after work. The lack of freedom is already starting!