Work/SAHM after baby

kmornelas29

I want to start a conversation about work after baby! I need some advice, and want to hear about your future plans?

I am an elementary school teacher (reading specialist). I work Monday through Thursday from 8:00 to 11:30. I have to leave my house by 7 everyday to get to work, and I am usually home by 12:00. Originally, I told my work that I wouldn't be coming back next year, because I was going to stay home with my newborn.

Side Note: Our school year is October to April. We also have all of December off. 

I was happy to get to stay home again all year, and be with baby number 2, but my work just offered me an amazing deal. They said that I could take off as long as I want, and come back to finish my job if I want. So, I wouldn't be going back until baby is 3 months old. This is such an amazing part time job that brings in some extra income, which is always nice but not absolutely needed for us, and I am scared to give it up, since I am getting this amazing offer! What would you do?

Part of me wants to say okay ill come back, because I love working, getting the paycheck, and having that break (since its part time). The other part of me wants to decline the offer and just focus on Mommy duties, and not worry about a job n getting out the house every morning. 

Have you and your SO decided on if you are going back to work after baby? Are you going to be a stay at home mom? What lead you to that decision? Have you talked about it yet?

riababy4

I was working from home when I got pregnant with my first, my son. I was planning on taking off a year but came back after 6 months since I was only working from home anyway and being back on full pay was great. The job was super easy so I got to spend all day with my baby. I would keep my job, especially if it's a good deal like yours. It really is good to have some time away from baby. Although 3 months wouldn't be long enough for me, 6 is a minimum. Have a think about it, you still got quite a bit of time.

baker1jm2

It really depends on you.  I work 3 days a week and it's perfect for me.  I'm a better mom bc I go to work a few days a week.  I know some people don't need that break.  It sounds like you have a pretty awesome part time gig so if it were me I'd keep it.  I guess it also depends on your childcare situation

mamabear148-2

@kmornelas29 that sounds like the perfect situation!! 4hr work days with the whole afternoons with your littles! 
If I were in your shoes I'd give the arrangement a try. You can always walk away from it if you realize it's not ideal for you and your family. Only you will know what's best in your situation at the end of the day

I became a WAHM once my oldest was born (4.5 yrs ago) and while the logistics with two littles has been a bit crazy at times, I wouldn't change my arrangement for the world. And I'm working hard to make sure this is the permanent arrangement for our family

canonmom413

I can't give advice on your situation but I can tell you my situation.  When I was pregnant with DD1 , I was a bank teller making awesome money. But not enough to cover childcare and walk away with it being worth it to work 40 plus hours a week. I became a SAHM. I started a photography business one year later. I work when my kids are in school. But part time. I don't devote every day to it because I need to be there for my kids too. I am blessed and fortunate enough to make it work. Don't get my wrong we struggle. But we made sacrifices so that it works for our family. I now also work part time at their dance studio. It's a very family friend atmosphere so I actually can bring baby with me to work. Working full time doesn't make sense for my situation. Everything I'd make go straight to childcare. 

grkgdss00

Your situation is a lot like mine. With DD I took 4 months off and came back part-time in the office (9am-1pm) and worked on/off from home in the afternoons. At first it was an adjustment, but I loved having that break and being in the office a few hours per day and around others. I didn't need to work financially, but it helped me personally and I enjoy it. At 1 year PP I added 2 full days back in (for more $), now I work tues/thurs 8-5 and MWF 9-1.

Now, with #2, I will probably take 6+ months off and try to return again also with the same schedule. I'm not expecting my position to be available but I work for an ever-growing e-com business with lots of opportunity so i'm sure they'll be able to find something for me. Of course, this can all change based on baby, schedule, and daycare costs. Right now i'm bringing in a good amount of $ after daycare costs with the satisfaction of getting a break and letting my girl socialize etc so i'm happy with it. So depending on how the costs go up with #2, ill try to work out the same plan again. 

Your situation sounds like a great offer to me! Especially since you get the summer off also, so you'll only really be working Jan-April, part-time, and at that time of new babyhood the few hours away per day were welcome (for me). IMO SAHMs are saints and i'm not sure I could do it - my 14 month old is so much work lol

allslee

I am not 100 percent sure what I will do. I will likely go back to work as I make more money/will still be taking money home each month after paying for two in daycare. 

I think my ideal scenario would be to work 3 days/week, but I'm not sure how realistic that is for my situation. I may talk to my boss and see if it would ever be an option. Or even the other two days, if I could work on emails only and other stuff that doesn't require me to be in the office. 

soprano19

I'm a full time high school music teacher. I wish I could be a SAHM, but my health insurance is way better and cheaper than H's, so it makes a lot more sense for me to keep my job, have the extra income, and put the baby on my insurance. Plus we live in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is one of the most expensive places in the entire country, so we really need the dual income.

natleilynn

It's tough to put myself in your shoes, but my first question would be - who's watching the kiddos while you work? Are you going to have to pay for that? My brother and SIL have run into some daycare situations that won't allow them to do a part time daycare (my SIL works full time but only works 3 days a week). 

Other than that, if it will make you happy to stay home, then stay home. I realized after my first that I am a much better mom because I work (I come home and I am 100% more focused on DD) and I'm fortunate to have a very flexible and easy going office, but I completely understand that everyone needs to make that decision on their own. My mom was a SAHM and I loved every minute of it

Rileypie

I think every family is different, but I'm a SAHM and wish I could work part time. I miss being an adult and using my college education. Don't get me wrong I love being with my daughter but it's very isolating at times. I don't have any family in the same state and childcare was too expensive to justify working so that's why I stay home. So if you have a job you like I would give it a shot. If it doesn't work then you could resign. Good luck with your decision!

buttercream_frosting

Going part-time sounds like a great gig. My only personal input here would ask if you can start a bit after 3 months, maybe 6 months instead? I find having a second income great for cushioning the nest and allows for luxuries. If you can juggle it, I'd say go for it.

I'll be taking 12 months off just like I did the first time round. I'll stop working at 8months so I can nest and go enjoy myself a little. I only had 4 days off the first time and regret not stopping earlier. Learn from your mistakes! My work will pay for 3 months of my leave. I believe if the government hasn't changed any legislations then I will get 18 weeks minimum wage from the government so income wise we are good for 6 months.

ETA: 18 weeks not 10 weeks.

dogperson11

Those hours would be awesome - you could probably even get away with not having to pump!

When DD was born I went back to work after 8 weeks, Monday through Thursday's. Pumping sucked.

I currently work 8-4:45, 3 days a week. We're pretty sure I'll be SAHM once LO arrives. The stress of pumping plus getting 2 kids out the door by 7am and getting them picked up, fed, and in bed in the evenings (by myself 75% of the time) is a huge part of the decision. After paying for daycare for 2 I wouldn't be bringing home enough to make it worth it. Plus the preschool we are sending DD to doesn't offer before or after care, so I would have kids in 2 different places.

I'm nervous to SAH - I never thought it was something I could/would do. I'm already making lists of kids activities in our town and we're considering joining the YMCA to help keep us busy.

ETA: The decision for me to SAH is also based on DH's crazy schedule. I don't want to have to miss out on family outings and stuff because it's days off never collide. It's not worth the $ I would bring home after daycare.

riverrainez

With DS I took 3 months off and then went back full time. This time around I am going to take a longer maternity leave (which might mean quitting my job, but I'm going to try to negotiate) but fully intend to return to work after 6-8 months. It's totally a personal decision, but I am a better mom when I'm working and I value that adult time.

JNAthanassious

I agree that with everyone else that is hard to give you advice as we all have different situations. However I can share my personal experience and encourage you to do what's best for your family.

With DD I took off 6 months and decided not to go back to work at the end of those 6 months. I resigned and was happy being a stay at home mom. Around the time my daughter was 16 months (she's now 21 months), I started to feel like I wasn't entirely fulfilled. I recently just accepted a new job working a night shift at the local hospital. I've decided that with this next kiddo, I'll take 3 months off and then go back to work. (I only have to work 4 shifts a month) I forgot how much of my identity was related to my career and the work that I did. 

You need to do what you think will bring you the most fulfillment! Each situation is different and it's never an easy decision to make. Good luck with the decision making process!!

ac1259

Every situation is different. I've been mostly a SAHM since 2013 when my oldest was 4 months old. I went back working weekends for a few years and now that I'm back in grad school I went per diem ( I work 2 days a month) so that I'd have time for clinical and school and my family. I'll be doing clinical like 1 day a week in the fall (after taking a few weeks off after baby is born) and doing my 2 days a month of work most likely. You do what works for you. I know getting out and getting to work can help me to be a better mom at times, but I also know I'm going to be losing my mind as it is this fall so work might be the one thing that needs cut. 

shan24

I think working part time sounds like a great scenario!  I'll be taking a year mat leave and then going back. Right now, I bring home more money than SO, so it makes sense. I also sell Arbonne on the side, so my focus during my year off (on top of loving my two littles) is to grow that to a point where maybe going part time is an option for me, too. :-)

kmornelas29

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I think its interesting to see what everyone else is doing after baby. Such a hard decision. I really hope America catches up with the rest of the world, regarding maternity leave. Moms should get a year. Good luck to everyone going back to work after. We still have not decided, but the input helps a lot. Plus, seeing what everyone else is doing puts it into perspective. 

lovehorse77

Your school year is so short! That's really sweet! I say give it a go and if it doesn't work, you can always change your mind. :-)

singing_lyn

Unfortunately I don't have a choice and will be returning to work. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we need my income. Luckily I work for my family so I get to bring my kids with me and my brother and his wife have a part time nanny that has helped watch my son a few days a week in the past. With my son I returned to work within a week, and would just nurse or pump in my office when I needed to depending on whether he was here with me or not, with this next one I'll probably look at hiring a nanny part time for myself that can watch my son at my house or my brother and his wife's house, or whatever, and just help, and then as the baby gets older we'll reassess the situation of if I can work from home more, and have the nanny helping or what I need to do.