What's stopping you from actively trying to get pregnant?

notthefather

How about a get-to-know-you poll? What brings you to BOTB instead of TTGP? Feel free to say hello even if you haven't posted before!

notthefather

I fall under "partner not ready." He says he is almost there but not quite yet. 

livingthedream-3

I voted for partner not ready, but that isn't totally fair. We have kids already and never planned on more, but we've both gotten the itch. We wanted to wait until at least mid 2017 for a number of reasons, but as time ticks away I am getting ready to go and DH is more on the fence. He knows I'm standing right behind him ready to push though. 

fishee333

Good idea for a poll.
I'm going with medical reasons since I'm still breastfeeding my first and still haven't got my period back, but partner not being ready is a close #2 reason. He's almost there. Hopefully by the time my LO is weaned (my goal is mother's day, maybe even sooner, she'll be about 16 months) we'll both be ready to go for it.

glitzandglitter

Mine is other - DH isn't ready yet (I have been for over a year) and now I am in grad school so I need a due date after December because that is when I graduate. DH wants to wait until we are past January because one DS was born in January. He says he'd rather a new baby have his/her own month.

fishee333

glitzandglitter said:

Mine is other - DH isn't ready yet (I have been for over a year) and now I am in grad school so I need a due date after December because that is when I graduate. DH wants to wait until we are past January because one DS was born in January. He says he'd rather a new baby have his/her own month.

Ya that's one reason DH is giving me, he doesn't want our next to have a birthday too close to our first which is in Jan. I get it, but I  don't think it's that big of a deal. Waiting just a couple months isn't a big deal either though I guess  

UterusesBeforeDuderuses

Ours is a mixture of reasons as well! Definitely hitting some financial goals... also just waiting for both of us to be ready. Anyone else feel ready enough to participate here, lurk TTGP, research like crazy and yet still think you'll be a little freaked to actually take the plunge?? Or am I the only weirdo? Haha. Anyway- having a set date has been good for both H and I so we're sticking to it!

glitzandglitter

@UterusesBeforeDuderuses I think it is completely normal. (Either that or we are both weirdos ) 

UterusesBeforeDuderuses

livingthedream-3

glitzandglitter said:

Mine is other - DH isn't ready yet (I have been for over a year) and now I am in grad school so I need a due date after December because that is when I graduate. DH wants to wait until we are past January because one DS was born in January. He says he'd rather a new baby have his/her own month.

That is one of our reasons for waiting until at least a few more months. One of our kids has a birthday the week of Christmas, and while we don't care if our kids have birthdays close or the same month we don't want any more Christmas birthdays. We underestimated how much that sucks. We struggled with IF, so we never avoided because of due dates, but now that we already have kids we feel like avoiding for good reason works for us.

livingthedream-3

UterusesBeforeDuderuses said:

Ours is a mixture of reasons as well! Definitely hitting some financial goals... also just waiting for both of us to be ready. Anyone else feel ready enough to participate here, lurk TTGP, research like crazy and yet still think you'll be a little freaked to actually take the plunge?? Or am I the only weirdo? Haha. Anyway- having a set date has been good for both H and I so we're sticking to it!

Not weird, totally normal! I like deadlines too. Hope yours comes quickly.

notthefather

I also vote 'Not Weird' @UterusesBeforeDuderuses. I've mentioned before that I've very seriously wanted a second child for years. Even then, when my husband changed his mind from being one and done to having a second I had a freak out moment. I think that rush of the reality of an addition is scary and completely normal.

UterusesBeforeDuderuses

Glad to know I'm not alone ladies!!

CecilB93

I'll post in the intro thread in a moment...but another one here for DH not ready. Our son just turned a year old on Feb 28th and so many of my friends have been having babies, I have baby fever!! Then there are days I'm thankful to not be chasing a toddler and taking care of a Nb, haha.

notthefather

Welcome @CecilB93! I'm sorry you also find yourself in this situation. 

glitzandglitter

Welcome @cecilB93! We are happy to have you here but sorry for the circumstances.  

dreamscapes_

Our delay is due to medical reasons. I was recently diagnosed with degenerative disc disease affecting my L5-S1 disc, which is causing me chronic severe pain whenever I'm active. Unfortunately, I'm also on unpaid medical leave because of it, so we don't really have the money right now anyway. My DH wants to make sure that I'll be all right if we get pregnant, since even just walking around the grocery store makes my back act up right now. Between the pain and the various medications I've been on trying to control the pain, we're hesitant to start right now.

livingthedream-3

@dreamscapes_  I saw your post in the randoms thread about your pain management appointment, but didn't know why until I came here. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I really hope you can get it under control. I would also ask your OB about how that might effect things like epidural and spinals during delivery just to make sure there is the best safest plan going into it. ((HUGS))

kmorgan16

@UterusesBeforeDuderuses amen sister! I feel ready but I am terrified.

I voted for timing concerns. I should be graduating from grad school this time next year and trying to find a good time to introduce a baby when I'm starting a practice or continuing my associate practice. Thank goodness my field is understanding about pregnancy but it's still scary.

dreamscapes_

@LivingTheDream Thanks! *hug* Thankfully, it mostly just acts up when I'm active. We went to Disney Springs today to get me out of the house for a while, and spent a couple hours walking around. I had to lay down for a while when we got home because my back was just killing me. I'm definitely going to talk to my doctor about that once things start happening, but we've still got things to get put in place before that's really an issue.

pinkdaisylove

This is my first time posting on here, I voted timing concerns. My husband and I have been married from 5.5 years and together for ten, and we always talked about me being a stay at home mom, but weren't in a rush to have babies.  

About two years ago, I had an epiphany and realized that I really didn't want to stay at home, and i decided to go back to school and get my BA. I'm graduating in December, but lately ive been having baby fever BAD. Honestly I've never really felt like this, so it's taken me by surprise! 

Im turning 28 in July, and the majority of my friends have kids, most of them 2 or more.  I don't know if I have FOMO or if I'm just realizing that I'm so close to 30, but lately it's been really apparent that we are one of the few couples without a kid- it makes me sad! I've never been a "baby person"- I find them to be cute and sweet but I'm kind of awkward around them. I have two nieces, age 1 and 3, and since becoming an auntie, those feelings have started to shift.

livingthedream-3

@pinkdaisylove Welcome!! Congratulations on getting your BA!! I understand! DH and I were married almost 10 years before we had our first, and pretty much the last of friends and family to have kids. We were both very whatever about having kids until we ran into the baby fever wall and now it's all babies all the time...LOL. Good Luck

glitzandglitter

@pinkdaisylove - Welcome!

notthefather

Hi and welcome @pinkdaisylove! Congratulations on your upcoming graduation! I was the same way with kids pre-child. I was the baby of both sides of the family until I was like 15 so I had never even been around babies before. When my sister had her first child I instantly fell in love. I knew if I loved my niece that much, that loving my own must be unbelievable. I was right

UterusesBeforeDuderuses

Welcome @pinkdaisylove!! I am totally awkward with babies too! Surely it isn't that way with your own kid, right? Or at least it passes super quickly?? Lol

dreamscapes_

Welcome @pinkdaisylove!

maureenmce

Welcome, @pinkdaisylove !  

And @dreamscapes_ oh no, your back issue sounds really tough to deal with.  Is there any treatment you can undergo to fix or at least improve the situation?  Either way, hugs to you.  I had a tiny taste of back issues the last two months of my pregnancy (I had severe sciatic nerve pain and had to walk with a cane until delivery) and I had never felt so much pain in my life.  And it's so tough because the back is connected to all movement, basically.  Anyway, tons of sympathy your way and I hope there's way to improve the situation!

dreamscapes_

@maureenmce Not really, beyond weight loss (of course) and pain management. I've been on a whole bunch of different combos of pain reliever and muscle relaxer since November. Right now, I'm on a topical diclofenac gel and methocarbamol. I just started them yesterday, so we'll see how this goes. But you're absolutely right, back pain is horrible because literally EVERYTHING sets it off. I did a ton of housework in the last couple of days because my parents were supposed to come into town, and now my back is unhappy with me. Thank you!

sharkbaitt

This is my first post!

We are waiting for my partner to graduate from his MS program next summer before going off BC. I already have my MA and career, so I'm feeling ready now, but he is definitely not! I missed my period last week (negative HPTs) and realized how much I wished they would have been positive. Partner was stressed about it though, and was really hoping the opposite...sigh.

glitzandglitter

Welcome @sharkbaitt

dreamscapes_

Welcome, @sharkbaitt!

notthefather

Welcome @sharkbaitt! I can't read your name and not follow it with "hoo ha ha!" in my head 

UterusesBeforeDuderuses

Hahaha I was thinking the same thing!

Welcome @sharkbaitt hoo ha ha!

glitzandglitter

UterusesBeforeDuderuses said:

Hahaha I was thinking the same thing!

Welcome @sharkbaitt hoo ha ha!

Me too!

sharkbaitt

(: that's the inspiration for it haha

JennyColada

I am pretty much the one holding us up. Honestly, I don't really have "babies on the brain" (my husband, on the other hand, was ready for kids from day 1). I've always been pretty on-the-fence about kids, but thankfully my partner has been so patient with me for me to get more ready (I spent most of last year getting ready by doing travel and work stuff that I wouldn't want to do with a kid). I've actually decided that this month will be my last month on BC! So we'll see where it goes from there.

tumbleweed-1

@sharkbaitt & @notthefather A little late to this, but I thought the same thing!  

@pinkdaisylove - I feel you. We are in such similar boats. I'm also 27 (will be 28 in Dec), and I'm finishing my undergrad (done this June). I was super awkward around babies until my niece & a best friend's daughter were born (the girls are both 5 now). I also worked in childcare for 3 years. Half of that time I worked in an infant classroom. It helped with baby awkwardness.  

My baby fever comes & goes but I've been dealing with it for years. My SO hasn't had any baby fever (I wish he could feel my pain!), but he does want to do all of the "dad stuff" and it's something we talk about regularly (not all the time, but every few months. More frequently as we approach 30). He had a SAHD & his mom was the "breadwinner"- less common when he was little than it is now, but even still not so common maybe? He tells me about all of the experiences he had with his dad and how he wants to do the same.

Right now our big issue is timing (which financial ties into- with me being a student). I know the timing is "never right", but I am so close to being done with school and I don't want to add any extra stress/distraction to that. I'm also on my school's health insurance and when I'm no longer a student I won't be covered by that. There are too many unknowns right now. On the plus side, we have an apartment with 2 bedrooms now, which is new for us. We are working towards expanding our family slowly.