TWT 3/7

wyomama0427

Okay, who is being a twatwaffle today?!

wyomama0427

Honestly DH is being a bit of a twat lately. For the last week to week and a half I've been reminding him that Monday we go to town to get my jeans, Wednesday we need to go to the town our OB is in to get my blood drawn. It's on the calendar. It's on our whiteboard in the fridge. He signed up to work at the EMS base yesterday and I was like okay whatever we'll go get my jeans Tuesday. Last night he signed up to work today. And tomorrow. Like for real? I've told you and you have agreed MULTIPLE times to the plan, and then the changed plan when you forgot the original plans and made your own plans. The jeans not as much of a big deal because I'll just go there by myself but I didn't want to have to try to wrangle my one year old while getting my blood drawn by myself. I've got nobody to watch him. He HAS to come with. I told DH I needed him there to hold DS while I get my blood drawn and he just completely goes around me and makes his own plans. Oh and he applied college without talking to me first. He has been at the EMS base all week just making plans and doing stuff without even talking to me. Apparently he starts school this month. So that's good to know.

LuckyPenny1231

@daniellelynette wtf to your husband! I would be pissed. 

My husband is also being a jerk. He keeps saying that I'm "milking" this pregnancy because it's my last. Oh yes, I'm just pretending to almost vomit 24/7. My morning sickness is awful this time and I'm not milking it. But since you're being a jerk about it, maybe I will be now!!!!! 

wyomama0427

@LuckyPenny1231 oh wow! That's totally a TW move. I'm sorry he's being like that! Just makes it harder on you

msashley2010-2

@daniellelynette I would be super upset too. Marriage is all about teamwork. Not going behind each other's backs without talking to each other first. 

@LuckyPenny1231  Don't you just love when men come to their own conclusions about something they will never have to experience?? 

My TWT is certain coworkers of mine. They haven't done anything specific. But they just have a way of grinding on my nerves. There are a couple that speak purely in sarcasm, which is fine if you're at home or around friends I guess. In a professional environment? Absolutely not. 

kelseyrayay

My TW is people who don't use their blinkers.. 

HollyGolightly09

My TW is a girl I used to know... she was engaged to my brother's best friend several years ago. Apparently she was arrested for chemical endangerment of a child because her baby was born with meth in his system. 

I wish I could see her somewhere because I would like to hit her. I know too many people who have tried for years to have a baby...

Sugargirl1019

@daniellelynette man I was really looking forward for a review of these pants today!!! What a rude husband. I hope college was kind of in the plans....

hatrats

@daniellelynette After some issues with DH never remembering anything, I created a joint google calendar for us. It's worked wonders. He actually puts things in it, and I can set reminders to go to his phone. It's the only way I've been able to get him to remember anything we need to do.

My TW is the lady that makes reservations for birthday parties at the children's museum. I called Sat, no answer, Sun, left a message (her voice on the vm sounds like she's about 80), today, no answer. So I try to fill out the crappy little online form - first time it disappears halfway through, second time, I hit submit and it's supposedly going to take me to check out to I can pay a deposit, and it disappears into the ether again. By the time I get DD's birthday party booked, there's not going to be any spots left within a month of her bday.

mrs_tacos

@daniellelynette Wow, college is a BIG thing to not discuss first! I'm a pretty independent wife, and I've traveled alone and done plenty of things to further my education and career, but I never make those decisions without him, that's what a partnership means! 

My TW is DHs bosses. Really nice guys, but they're seriously dragging their feet on some things that make it hard for us to plan our upcoming cross-country move. That's supposed to happen in 10 weeks. That we currently have no solid plans for. Plus, we're moving to Manhattan. It's going to be crazy expensive, so if they could approve the funds for our move already instead of expecting us to pay out of pocket and then be reimbursed, that'd be great. It all stresses me out so much. I need plans, especially for something this big! I do not relish the idea of slapping together the details for a cross country move while 24 weeks pregnant at the last minute. (Then, while discussing it last night, DH suggested we could move the move back a month to relieve stress. Um, no. I'm only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable. It does no make me less stressed to wait until 28 weeks pregnant to move. I want to be moved and settled, with a new doctor and a furnished nursery asap. That's what will make me less stressed.)

labby18

Just found out who was spreading some not so nice rumors about DH and I, that actually caused some issues between us. And I just want to go up to the b**** and punch her in the mouth because maybe then it'll teach her to keep her mouth shut about other people's marriages. And the shitty part about this is I CAN'T. Her husband and my husband work together and I do not want to be making a scene. But she's been spreading a BS rumor and has been sweet as can be to my face. I want to rearrange her face.

HollyGolightly09

@amandarene112 I can't even imagine.. do you know where you'll be living yet, or is that up in the air, too? 

Cats*in*space

@hatrats @daniellelynette I second the google calendar!  It is great and he has absolutely no excuse for "forgetting".

Sugargirl1019

@lahearn18 What's going on??

mrs_tacos

@HollyGolightly09 No. We know the borough, but the real estate game moves fast there, even for rentals, so it's not like we can put down a down payment and reserve a spot to move into in three months. But we've always known that the actual apartment will probably be the last detail nailed down. Right now, we need to plan a trip to NY with both of us, ideally in the next few weeks, where we'll have a preliminary meeting with a broker, and look at a few places to get a handle on what we can expect in our price range and what neighborhoods we want to target. Then I need to start weeding through the seemingly endless amount of OBGyNs in those neighborhoods, and looking at the nearby hospitals, so I can find a good fit that delivers at a hospital I want, who is also accepting new patients. It could take awhile. 

labby18

@Sugargirl1019 just a bunch of bull. DH current duty station may be that includes a lot of travelling all across the country...and DH is a chatty cathy and always strikes up conversation with bartenders when they go out on the town (I mean, how else are you going to get hooked up on drinks? I do the SAME thing when I go out with my friends...a group of us even got a ride half way home from our bartender to save us cash on our uber because he was heading the same way). But her husband exaggerated an incident when he chatted up a bartender who happened to be a very good looking lady (again, not a big deal to me, as the bartender who drove me half way home was fairly good looking GUY). Long story short, her husband and her have been spreading a nasty rumor all around; all the while acting fake AF to our faces and being super friendly and awesome...I'm sorry but if I thought you're husband was up to some shady things I would come to YOU directly, not spread it around and then act like everything is cool to your face. And here's the funny thing...DH had already told me about said bartender, and even video chatted with me that evening and in the morning, but just the way I heard about the rumor was just horrible and whilst I was in pregnancy hormonal crazy land while DH has been gone and yeah. And the people who told me about the rumor WOULDN'T EVEN TELL ME WHO TOLD THEM. It has taken deductive reasoning to figure it out...and I am fuming. 

ETA: DH and I have never had any trust issues and never have had a problem with the other going out on the town with our groups of friends separately. It was just the timing and deliverance of the rumor that set me off, and caused me to flip out ridiculously at DH and yadda yadda - why are you acting in a way that would cause someone to even think you may have been up to shady things etc etc...we're good now.

ETA 2: It makes sense who is spreading the rumor, as they don't think DH has deserved some of the positions he has gotten and they don't like that DH gets along with the higher ups etc.

mrs_tacos

Wow, @lahearn18, I would be piiiiissed. I will stand a lot of nonsense from a friend, but you do not step to my marriage! I have no chill about people who mess with other people's marriages. I don't think you should be too aggressive since it is a peer's wife, but is there a way you can confront her, and let her know you know what she said, and that it's not ok? 

labby18

@amandarene112 I know I can't say/do what I deep down really want to do. And I'm not one to hold back, I just fear if I open my mouth to "politely" confront her, it won't end up that way...I know myself too well to trust myself to say anything to her. Also, this command is SO into family events and picnics and morale stuff, I either am going to have to bite my tongue - blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground - and show up with a smiling face, or just not go and be a recluse. I'm leaning towards smiling face at the events I really want to go to or are mandatory ish, and avoid the rest of em, because GOD KNOWS how many people she said stuff too. And I know if I want to "prove" them wrong I should go to every event and smother them with the awesomeness of my marriage, but at the same time I just don't want to deal with any of it.

ETA: FX no one from our command is on this board and I look stupid now especially bc my lastname is in my username, i've thought about changing it but everyone here already knows me by this username

mrs_tacos

@lahearn18 That sucks, but I totally understand. When DH gets his new orders this fall, will you be able to get away from her/them? 

labby18

@amandarene112
Yes yes yes. They aren't up for orders until NEXT year, and where they want to go is no where near where we are trying to go. 

angeladowns1

DH is being a total twatwaffle. He's acting like for some reason, because this isn't my first pregnancy that I shouldn't get off as easy or something? Like I should be less of a baby about it because I've done it before? No idea. Basically he acts annoyed when I feel like crap or am tired, and has just been way less understanding and empathetic this go-around. I want to punch him in the face a little.

mrs_tacos

@lahearn18 That's great! I hope you get far, far away from that meddlesome twat. 

 

Sugargirl1019

@lahearn18 oh lord. How awful! I hope you can correct the rumor by saying you knew of his interaction and are fine with it.

sarahufl

My TW is the woman at my gym daycare. I signed up for the gym again a month or so ago and I literally cannot work out for more than 4 minutes before they call me in there. My daughter is 11 months old, of course she is going to cry when I leave her. I don't expect them to let her cry for an hour (nor would I want that) but I do think you should give a little baby more than just a few minutes. Plus, when I go in there, she isn't doing much to make her stop crying- just standing there looking all helpless. 

If I am with a baby who is crying, I walk the baby around, sit on the floor and play with them, try out different toys, etc before I call it a day.

ColoradoHiker

@angeladowns1  I'd call your DH out on it.  Every pregnancy is different, but that doesn't mean first tri doesn't suck, no matter which way you look at it.  Is there anything going on at work/ in life that might be stressing him out, or is he just being a general twat?  Talk to him.  If he's anything like my DH, he probably doesn't realize how he's acting is hurting you.

My eventual fSIL/ older brother's baby momma.  She was up to her old antics again when we met up for older brother's/ dad's bday party last weekend.  I'm sick of her crap, and I want to tell her to go fly a kite.   Anyway, my older bro is also a twat bc he (instead of fSIL this time) brought up DS still not walking.  I'm trying so hard to be patient with my family about this, but I'm really over it.  15m is not late for walking, please leave us alone about it.  He'll walk whenever he damn well pleases.

wyomama0427

amandarene112 said:

@lahearn18 That's great! I hope you get far, far away from that meddlesome twat. 

 

  

mrs_tacos

@ColoradoHiker I hope you do tell them to shut up about it! My godson didn't walk until almost 17 months, and we knew he could do it, he just wan't ready. When he did start walking, he skipped most of the wobbly-ness, and was very sturdy. My friend felt vindicated by that, because her in-laws had been telling her to take him for PT. I hope you get that vindication moment too!

@LuckyPenny1231 @angeladowns1 Next time your DH says something like that, you should totally pull a Pam from The Office, and just puke right in front of him without breaking eye contact. 

JNR6510

My TW is my BIL. DH and I have been together for 7+ years. I ran into BIL at the grocery store, and he kept calling me by DH's ex's name. DH only dated her for 3 months in college before they broke up 8.5 years ago. I think my BIL was trying to be an ass by calling me another girl's name. How the hell can he not remember the name of his brother's wife? Such a turd...

Sugargirl1019

@JNR6510 wow that's uncomfortable and annoying, even if he was for real. Geez.

jutondreau

@lahearn18 what that couple is doing is awful. I'm sorry. What stinks is that if the wrong people find out/hear the rumor, your hubby can get in unnecessary trouble/it can affect his career. I hope you can confront her in a mature, unemotional way and that will be the end of it. PCS-ing can be a blessing when you can leave behind the drama of some people who just can't mind their own business aka still act like high schoolers 

labby18

@jutondreau EXACTLY luckily tho we have a fantastic relationship with the higher ups in the command and every year in this command there is a rumor about someone. It comes with the nature of the job. They travel a lot. I just cannot wait to move, so over this duty station 

LynnBrown4

@LuckyPenny1231: What a terrible comment. I'd be pretty annoyed too. 

@lahearn18: Really sorry you're going through this. I'm a military member too, and having to work and function in that kind of rumour mill would be just awful. Has your husband thought about filing a grievance? Also, hope you can get your distance, cause it sounds really stressful for you too. If I understand right he is military but you are civilian, so at least none of those morale/family events are mandatory for you (even though they might be for your spouse)... hope you can get some peace and space, all the best.

msashley2010-2

I have an updated TWT. I went for a 3 mile walk today after working then cooked dinner afterward. I finally sat down to enjoy a little bit of time reading in my seat and he literally comes into the living room with a pile of laundered towels that he *almost* put on my lap to have me fold until I gave him the death glare. 

"Um. Did I ask to fold laundry right now?"

to which he replies, "what? Towels are the easiest thing to fold" 

"great!! If they are so easy, you fold them then!" 

mrsvp614

A day late here...
At a baby shower this weekend with co-workers, my pregnant friend and I were talking about the hospital where we're delivering. Another co-worker says, "good luck there! May God be with you!" She's suing that hospital/company because of an experience she had, but I was so frustrated that she would say that to two first time moms. It's a very reputable hospital, where several other co-workers have had great experiences. 

DPandMB

A day late, but my TWT goes to my whole damn family. I have two sisters, one lives next to my parents (4 hours from me) and the other lives across the country. The across the country sister is coming out to my parents in July. She generally comes out once a year and I take my family up to spend time with them. Every year is a pain because my parents are pack rats and their house cant hold my sister's family of 5, plus my family of 5. My sister that lives there, refuses to clean her house and have company, so we generally get a hotel room.

This year I will be 8 months pregnant. During my last pregnancy at this time, I was on bed rest due to high blood pressure and borderline pre eclampsia. The across the country sister just called me, and basically told me she wont be coming down here to see me, and asked if it would be ok if I came up there if she cleans my parents house. Um probably not. One, boarding three dogs and getting a hotel room is very expensive and I will have enough expenses of having a baby, and 2, I don't want to travel 4 hours when I am 8 months pregnant, plus also, this would all require me to be healthy. After I told my sister, it would be hard, she informed me my mom was planning a big retirement party for my dad when she comes out. Well of course she is because everything revolves around the sister from across the country. I have 0 desire to even try to go now.


TLDR: My family sucks, and only plans things for my sister who lives across the country. They don't care or pay any attention to anything going on in my life. PS Maybe I am extra emotional today.