I will continue working. Being a SAHM is just not for me. I am lucky that I am a teacher who works minutes for home so that I can be home by 4:30, as well as have breaks and summers off. I feel like I get the best of both worlds, but at the end of every summer I am so ready to get back to work. I am always in awe of SAHMs! Y'all are incredible people!
Glad somebody finally started this thread. I love reading everyone's thoughts and statements. DH has been bugging me about this since the day we found out, and I was putting off making a choice. I would love to be a SAHM but like many other, we just financially wouldn't want to put ourselves in that situation. However, dropping to PT work would be fine financially. However, next month will be my year at this job and as a nurse finding a job that does NOT include weekends or holidays and off by 3:30 everyday is impossible to find. So I pray that my boss does not freak when I request to cut my hours in half... because finding another job like this would be impossible. Although, I know I can't do 4-10 hour shifts a week and have a newborn, because my job is so physically and mentally exhausting I don't feel like I would be a very good parent after working my tail off... I did give my boss a heads up about cutting my hours and she seemed very understanding... I just hope I'm not going to freak her out when I cut them in half...
Thank you all for the feedback and perspectives on the possible resentment issue. DH and I have talked about it a little and I appreciate having some real life experiences to add to the discussion.
I would love to SAH but not sure it's in the cards. I'd be leaving a lot of money on the table by quitting. DH is going to quit his job in a couple of months to focus on our business and my income allows us to do that. I'll also become the sole benefits provider. We'll see how we make things work.
Both DH and I currently WFH but DS is in daycare because there is no way anything would get done if he was home. I planned to SAH after him but my boss talked me into coming back by offering full time WFH (Was in the office 3 days/week before) and a lot of other flexibility and perks. Once again the plan is for me to SAH after my mat leave and I don't see it changing this time.
We both work as teachers. I would love to stay at home, but financially it's not feasible for us. I teach high school so I get home pretty early and get to spend the summers at home, and my oldest goes to the school where my husband teaches, so I feel pretty lucky to have a lot of family time while working FT. My biggest concern is pumping at work, which I hated last time but did for 8 months. Maybe I'll win a small lottery jackpot and take next school year off
I work ft nights, a week on, week off at a time. DH will start working 4 on 4 off switching between days and nights every two weeks. The downside is that we will need someone flexible for childcare as he leaves 3 hours before I get home in the morning and of course nights that we work the same. The upside is that I will have a lot of time home with my daughter.
My job is the stable, better paying job so there's no way I could go to sah. Hubby could involuntary go sah if there's no new project for him after this one is over at the end of the year. Financially, even with childcare, we're much better off with both of us working bc we only need someone at most 6-8 days a month. I would love to maybe go part time til we're done having babies (want one more after this one) but there are no pt openings right now and we can't afford the pay cut.
I would love to be a SAHM but like many others here, it just isn't in the cards for us. I am the breadwinner by quite a bit and my benefits are insanely good (just one example: a contribution of 14% of my gross salary into a 401k with nothing required to be put in by me!). I truly feel that the situation I have in this current position is literally the best situation I can have in my career, between the flexible schedule, benefits, and the great crew I work with. Even if we wanted to make a lifestyle change and have him be the only contributor, the loss of my fantastic benefits could never be worth it. Plus, honestly, I would have concerns about leaving the workforce for several years in my career.
I really don't understand how anyone can WAH with their kid home. I think that would be so difficult.
Me: 36; DH: 38 DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17! **TW** MMC & D&C Aug 2016
It's a little up in the air for me so far. As of now I'm the main breadwinner, but I do contract work so it's somewhat sporadic throughout the year. Also DH is currently looking for a new job.
Ideally the plan is for me to stay at home for at least the 35 weeks I get for maternity, and then hopefully by then I'll be able to have my own computer system set up at home to be able to WFH at least some of the time.
Simultaneously, DH wants to start a licensed home day care at whatever point it is that we need to start thinking about daycare. His job is already at a Youth Center, and he loves working with kids and can't fathom the idea of spending that much money on someone else spending the day with our kid when he could actually be earning a living while spending as much time as possible with our own kid.
@JAGinMI I agree about working from home with kids there. Seems like there's no way you'd get much done and like it would just be frustrating. I know when I try to get work done at home, for grad classes or grading papers, it only happens when my kids are sleeping. We have friends who have a 4 month old, and he works from home and before the baby was born he was all excited. "We don't need daycare, when I need to get things done, I'll just put the baby in his crib". Pretty sure he's miserable now.
Well, DH came to me last night and said that if his department reorgs the way he thinks they will, he's going to take a leave of absence and be a SAHD. Well...ok then!
I mean, we can afford it, thankfully, but I worry I'll resent him as I'm dragging my sorry self to work every day, hating my job (if I can't move to the job I want). Honestly, if he does take a leave, I can see us moving to another state and me finding a job that I love. If he's going to do the SAHD gig, he can do it anywhere and at least I could be in a job I enjoy.
I've been a sahm since I had my almost 6 year old. I went to college online before that. I literally haven't worked in almost 9 years. I MISS IT! I seriously was So excited to start working again this fall. We were going to put DD2 in the 3 year old preschool and I was going to get a PT job. Then... This little bundle surprised us. So now it's not financially possible for me to work until Josephine is at least 3. With me having no recent job history I couldn't get a job to cover the cost of preschool, day care, and after school care. Blah. I know it will all work out, and in 5 years it won't be a big deal. It was just a hard pill to swallow.
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
I'm probably a little naive about working at home with kids (well, just one until summer), but I'll be completely downstairs and they'll be upstairs. I'm hoping it works out, but if not, my commute isn't too bad, so I'll huff it to work.
@JAGinMI I agree about working from home with kids there. Seems like there's no way you'd get much done and like it would just be frustrating. I know when I try to get work done at home, for grad classes or grading papers, it only happens when my kids are sleeping. We have friends who have a 4 month old, and he works from home and before the baby was born he was all excited. "We don't need daycare, when I need to get things done, I'll just put the baby in his crib". Pretty sure he's miserable now.
I think a lot of this depends on the child. Each one of them is different and I know at least three people who make the work from home thing work. Everyone I've talked to that makes it work say that until they're walking, it's really not bad.
For us, I plan on getting what I can done in the mornings, then going in to the office for the afternoons when my husband gets home from work. My office is filled with all sorts of distractions so I'm already used to it!
I'm probably a little naive about working at home with kids (well, just one until summer), but I'll be completely downstairs and they'll be upstairs. I'm hoping it works out, but if not, my commute isn't too bad, so I'll huff it to work.
I think you'll be ok - your husband will be home and in charge of primary care giving for the kids while you're working. I think the warnings in here are more for the people that plan to work from home AND be the primary caregiver for their baby that will also be at home with them. I mean no doubt you'll be interrupted more at home than at the office if you're there, but I'd think you could still get work done. When I WFH now, DH is at home with DD until about 9:30 (I start work at 7:30) and I'm able to work, though I do take short breaks while they're there to hang with DD a bit. When I go to the office I leave the house before she wakes up in the morning, so I like being able to see her a little bit more than usual. Plus since I'm not commuting, I can stay online and work later when I'm home than I can when I'm at the office and need to leave in time to do daycare pickup, so I figure it evens out.
I find it really difficult to WAH as well. It's not bad if I'm sick and DD is at preschool. But when she's home, it's really difficult. I originally thought I'd work during nap time. But by then I'm so tired that I don't want to use that time to work. I do believe too it depends on the child. DD always wants to be with me, so doing anything that takes me more than 15 minutes is difficult. Over time, I've learned different tricks to keep her occupied and quiet if I need a long stretch of time to get something done. But for me, having a full and productive work day while she's at home is impossible. Plus, my mom guilt kicks in, and I feel bad for working and not paying attention to her, even though I know rationally she gets plenty of attention.
I've always wanted to be a SAHM. My husband is 100% on board with that and we worked really hard to pay off all debt before we had kids. The only debt we still have is our mortgage. Because of that, I was able to stay home when DD wad born, and I have loved it. After staying home for for 1.5 years, I think I'm ready to add a like miss to my plate. I've been babysitting for a friend who's sitter had a family emergency abd that had worked out really well. I think I'd like to start watching a child or two part time.
I was also offered a part time WAH job scheduling for the lady who did my last ultrasound, and I told her I was interested, so it will be interesting to see how the next few months pan out.
@kcrocetto27 , have you ever looked info teaching online college courses? A lot of moms do that around here so they can stay home. I think some if them require a masters, but not all.
****Edited because this pregnancy has killed my brain power.
I got clarity on when I can start leave and how much and it's better than I thought. I can take up to 20 job protected weeks, with 14 paid through disability at 55% and 2 weeks fully paid through my job. DH and I have already been saving for the 14 weeks of 1/2 pay so it's just a conversation now of if we can/want me to take the additional 4 weeks. I want to maximize time off but I also don't want us to be broke. I feel really good about being able to take at least 4 months and I really hope we can swing the extra month without too much headache. I also just have to hit my year mark while on leave to qualify for all the job protection, which is awesome and means I don't have to stress about having a few work-free days before baby.
@Stankonia2014, have you ever looked info teaching online college courses? A lot of moms do that around here so they can stay home. I think some if them require a masters, but not all.
Not sure if you meant to tag me. I work for the gov't and WFH (or will shortly). This is good advice for anyone looking to SAH/WFH.
@Stankonia2014, have you ever looked info teaching online college courses? A lot of moms do that around here so they can stay home. I think some if them require a masters, but not all.
Not sure if you meant to tag me. I work for the gov't and WFH (or will shortly). This is good advice for anyone looking to SAH/WFH.
@kcrocetto27 , have you ever looked info teaching online college courses? A lot of moms do that around here so they can stay home. I think some if them require a masters, but not all.
****Edited because this pregnancy has killed my brain power.
@shmarpler thank you. I've looked into a few, and, sadly- what I've seen doesn'y pay great, a few thousand a class and you spend 10-15 hours a week teaching and grading one class. If anyone knows another lead, I'm all ears and I do have a masters (hence the crazy amount of loan debt).
Re: WFH, SAHM, VS. FT Work
My job is the stable, better paying job so there's no way I could go to sah. Hubby could involuntary go sah if there's no new project for him after this one is over at the end of the year. Financially, even with childcare, we're much better off with both of us working bc we only need someone at most 6-8 days a month. I would love to maybe go part time til we're done having babies (want one more after this one) but there are no pt openings right now and we can't afford the pay cut.
I really don't understand how anyone can WAH with their kid home. I think that would be so difficult.
Me: 36; DH: 38
DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
**TW**
MMC & D&C Aug 2016
Ideally the plan is for me to stay at home for at least the 35 weeks I get for maternity, and then hopefully by then I'll be able to have my own computer system set up at home to be able to WFH at least some of the time.
Simultaneously, DH wants to start a licensed home day care at whatever point it is that we need to start thinking about daycare. His job is already at a Youth Center, and he loves working with kids and can't fathom the idea of spending that much money on someone else spending the day with our kid when he could actually be earning a living while spending as much time as possible with our own kid.
I mean, we can afford it, thankfully, but I worry I'll resent him as I'm dragging my sorry self to work every day, hating my job (if I can't move to the job I want). Honestly, if he does take a leave, I can see us moving to another state and me finding a job that I love. If he's going to do the SAHD gig, he can do it anywhere and at least I could be in a job I enjoy.
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
For us, I plan on getting what I can done in the mornings, then going in to the office for the afternoons when my husband gets home from work. My office is filled with all sorts of distractions so I'm already used to it!
I think you'll be ok - your husband will be home and in charge of primary care giving for the kids while you're working. I think the warnings in here are more for the people that plan to work from home AND be the primary caregiver for their baby that will also be at home with them. I mean no doubt you'll be interrupted more at home than at the office if you're there, but I'd think you could still get work done. When I WFH now, DH is at home with DD until about 9:30 (I start work at 7:30) and I'm able to work, though I do take short breaks while they're there to hang with DD a bit. When I go to the office I leave the house before she wakes up in the morning, so I like being able to see her a little bit more than usual. Plus since I'm not commuting, I can stay online and work later when I'm home than I can when I'm at the office and need to leave in time to do daycare pickup, so I figure it evens out.
I was also offered a part time WAH job scheduling for the lady who did my last ultrasound, and I told her I was interested, so it will be interesting to see how the next few months pan out.
****Edited because this pregnancy has killed my brain power.