IF/Testing Check in Wk 3/6

kiki75

Diagnosis (If you've been): In testing.

Cycle/CD: 12/25

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Testing and using this time to try to lose some weight.

  

How are things going? They're going alright. I'm anxious for our appointment on Wednesday to meet the doctor and to hear what she suggests for an approach. From the best that we've been able to interpret the SA results, it seems like there's a motility problem. It seems like maybe they're swimming somewhat quickly but not in a straight line. Talking to H on Saturday (on the phone b/c he's at work), depending on what she says, what we've discussed for now is to continue cycle-phase dependent testing on me while working on the basic approaches to improving sperm quality for him like quitting drinking, acupuncture, etc. *TW* And a little bit sadly, I had been worried for a while that the SA results wouldn't be great and he'd worry a little bit about how it was that I got KU before. I don't think that he really thinks that it wasn't his but he asked, "I did get you pregnant once before, right?" Ugh. Because he's a pilot, it requires a lot of trust for both of us. I don't want him to doubt my faithfulness for a single second.  
BTW, it makes me feel a little better that you guys don't understand those results, either. I was feeling so stupid for not being able to figure it out with Dr. Google.

  

Any questions? Do you have suggestions for questions to ask the RE at the initial consult? 

GTKY: Whats the current book you're reading, or favorite TV show to binge on right now? I've been watching tons of shows at the gym. Right now I'm almost through with Santa Clarita Diet, and am watching Bates Motel, Trying to Get Away With Murder, Shameless, and The Magicians. I started watching The Magicians because they had it for free on an airplane and got hooked. I'm also reading Stephen King's "The Bazaar of Bad Dreams."

@JuneRoseRuby Sorry about impending AF.

@laurad75 I'm sorry about your frosty. 

@mrsdaddario I saw that about the other son from Little People Big World. My pinnacle pissed off is still Jenelle Evans, though. I really hope you're a snowflake.

@KristoKekerooni I feel like this is going to be an especially SS-y cycle for me, too. Logic be damned? I just did a picture of the results this time. Thanks for looking at the results for me. He doesn't have a known infection and doesn't seem sick but, one of the things we discussed is that from what we could figure, a couple of these things may point to a potential prostate problem. Especially considering that he has a piss-poor (haha) stream when he urinates and that would be frequently. It would be nice if there's a somewhat easy fix that would alleviate his other problems. 

@wabash15 I think it is fairly common for HSG to delay O. I really should try a Clive Custler. My dad is always trying to get me to read them!

@tamalahoops Wow. SIL sounds like a peach. 1. Asking you about any health stuff in front of a crowd of people who aren't your closest family, even if it's your ingrown toenail is not okay. 2. Perhaps she could do some reading up about how to sympathize with people who are dealing with IF. 3. It may just be from my perspective way over here, but I feel like the "But you could still get pregnant on your own, right?" reads to me like she needs reassurance about something. Maybe there's something going on you don't know about? (Or she's just an insensitive B...) Can you tell her you're sorry it hurt her feelings but send her some links to some resources? eta: Resources on how to not be an insensitive B.

@eggplantface It's so exciting that you're starting stims this week. I can't believe you haven't seen Parks and Rec. So many gifs around here will make more sense now. It's one of my happy shows that I can watch on a bad day and it peps me up.

@Aurora1973 No one can spell it. That's who. Congratulations on your elopement! I feel you on the jealousy. As long as you can keep it acceptable to their faces, go ahead and be green. I thought ISWTE was really overwhelming, too. And not written with being gentle towards people who have had MC in mind. I mostly just skipped to the what to do part. House of Cards is so good, and yet so terrifying. 

@magnolia131 I am impressed with your tagging game from mobile! It's such a pain. I wish I had an answer to your EB question but I know nothing.

wabash15

@kiki75 a motility problem may not be the end of the world in terms of sperm issues I think that is one that REs are not as concerned about. GL with your appointment on wednesday. You should look into custler, they are easy reads and good for taking your mind of things

hartmich

Question!! Should have thought of this earlier...

I want to make a list of questions to ask at our consult with the RE on Thursday. I definitely plan on asking what the success rates are with each option. What are other good things I should be asking? 

ETA: this is the meeting to go over all test results and determine what's next 

KristoKekerooni

@Kiki75 - YGPM

@hartmich - 
-Ask about who sees you for what appointment. Are you gonna see the nurse 99% of the time, or do you get face time with the doc?
-Ask who is your point of contact. Do you get a coordinator or do you call the nurse for questions. 
-Ask how they keep you informed. Do you get a calendar? do they call with reminders? Or are you responsible for everything?
-What tests that you have already had are good enough and what are you going to have to repeat (they always make you repeat something because they are't "good enough" so frustrating)
-Are you offering clinical trials (Not sure if you are OOP or not, but this is a great way to get in for free/cheap!)
-What can I be doing to improve our success in the meantime/when the treatment begins?

tamalahoops

@Kiki75 & everyone else: Thanks for the love. I love that I'm able to get this stuff off my chest. It really does help. SIL is my Husband's brother's wife for clarification sake. *TW pregnancy mentioned* Her SIL (her brothers wife) suffered through infertility due to endometriosis about 10 years ago. She was able to get pregnant through IVF and then quickly got pregnant again after having her first. And then again with a third without intervention. My SIL doesn't understand that IF is not like a broken arm. She thinks that if you have infertility you just take some medicine and then you're cured of infertility. She does not understand the complex nature of medicine and the higher level science that I've tried to explain to her goes over her head. In the future I just will not discuss things with her.

@hartmich everything that @KristoKekerooni What ever the plan is I would ask about next steps as well. Like okay you recommend IUIs, how many IUIs do you suggest before we move on and if we have to move on what do you suggest we move on to. I'd also ask who is on call when the office is closed, is it the Doc or the nurse and do they rotate. 

wabash15

@hartmich @tamalahoops and @KristoKekerooni have great questions. I would ask the risk of multiples, cost (oral meds vs injectables) clarify how long they want you to abstain before an IUI.  If your doing an IUI how many follicles will they let you trigger with? 

hartmich

@wabash15 @tamalahoops @kristokekerooni   you ladies are the freakin BEST. These are amazing questions. Seriously, how do women do this without this board for help? 

LadyMillil

Little Bee was okay. Some parts were tough to read which wasn't surprising since it's about a refugee. I found some parts were not believable which made the story less "real" to me.

leekat14

So for those that did clomid..Did you also have a trigger shot? I guess I've not paid close enough attention to know if this is a thing or not...

eggplantface

leekat14 said:

So for those that did clomid..Did you also have a trigger shot? I guess I've not paid close enough attention to know if this is a thing or not...

Yes, I did an Ovidrel trigger shot at night then the IUI two days later (36 hours after). 

leekat14

Hmmm I'm not doing an IUI....

JuneRoseRuby

@hartmich Honestly, don't get too overwhelmed at your first appointment to discuss results, just try to write notes. when you get home, do your research/dr google/this board, then create your next list of questions for the doc.  That is what I do. Every visit I now can prepare my questions for it and be as prepared for the conversations and plan we are creating with my doc. You definitely know more than you think you do! you're already well prepared! 

shortstack930

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained secondary IF

Cycle/CD: 15/14

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WTO, got a positive OPK yesterday and today so I should probably O tomorrow based on previous cycles. 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) waiting to see the RE on May 15

  

How are things going? Much better this cycle. I've decided to focus on taking better care of myself and not on IF/TTC as much. Also, I started taking evening primrose oil this cycle and have tons of EWCM for the first time in months!!

  

Any questions? Not right now. 

GTKY: Whats the current book you're reading, or favorite TV show to binge on right now? I'm reading Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas. I read a lot of young adult books and she's one of my all time favorite authors. I'm binging on Once Upon a Time because the second half of the current season just started back up. 

LadyMillil

I didn't trigger with clomid because it was OOP and I could figure out O based on CM/opks. We were given the option of TI or IUI and picked IUI because we have MFI and IUI increased our chances. If you aren't dealing with MFI the odds of success with TI vs IUI on clomid are similar.

TravelingCouple

Yesterday I took a pregnancy test. It was negative within the timeframe. Came back 10 mins later to dig it out of the trash (like any sane person would) and swore I saw a slight hint of a second line. I sent a pic to my BFF who confirmed she saw a second line too. Spent all day wondering if it was real or an evap and hardly slept last night. I had my due date planned out in my mind and everything. Took another one this morning and it couldn't have been more stark white negative if it tried. Cue the timely period cramps too. I wish I could punch IF in its fucking face. My heart is so exhausted from the roller coaster of being crushed month after month. I keep thinking I have no more energy or tears left to be disappointed, yet there it is. The one upside is now I wait for my inevitable period and we start our medicated cycle. 

hartmich

@travelingcouple so many hugs. All of a sudden the past 24 hours have gotten really emotional for me too... and I don't know why. IF is so hard because it seems like so many things in life are moving forward and you're just stuck here, standing still waiting for something to happen. I hate it for all of us. 

eggplantface

@TravelingCouple IF and the uncertainty surrounding the whole TTC process is stressing and just wears you out. After two years of "I can't plan anything more than a month ahead because I might be KU" I finally lost it, I was so burned out! We planned a vacation and as soon as I plunked down the non-refundable fee for the hotel I felt better. I felt like I was taking control back. I hate living month to month and seeing life in 30-day increments. Don't forget you're still you, so pursue the things that make you happy during this ridiculous process. And vent to us when needed! All the hugs.

Everycol0r

TravelingCouple said:

Yesterday I took a pregnancy test. It was negative within the timeframe. Came back 10 mins later to dig it out of the trash (like any sane person would) and swore I saw a slight hint of a second line. I sent a pic to my BFF who confirmed she saw a second line too. Spent all day wondering if it was real or an evap and hardly slept last night. I had my due date planned out in my mind and everything. Took another one this morning and it couldn't have been more stark white negative if it tried. Cue the timely period cramps too. I wish I could punch IF in its fucking face. My heart is so exhausted from the roller coaster of being crushed month after month. I keep thinking I have no more energy or tears left to be disappointed, yet there it is. The one upside is now I wait for my inevitable period and we start our medicated cycle. 

My lovetit is a hug. I have been there so, so many times and it just never gets easier. Be kind to yourself today, and try to find a way to love yourself. 

You are more than your IF.

laurad75

@leekat14 I did not do a trigger on clomid with TI, only when I was doing clomid + IUI

@TravelingCouple I'm really sorry.  We're here for you.  

Everycol0r

leekat14 said:

So for those that did clomid..Did you also have a trigger shot? I guess I've not paid close enough attention to know if this is a thing or not...

I've done a trigger shot and no IUI. I was on Femara not clomid though. My husband's SA is good enough that IUI/TI doesn't make a huge difference for us unless I have enough quality follicles in the right sided ovary (which still hasn't occurred because the left is an over achieving whore). 

Anyways it's not unusual. The nurse actually talked to me yesterday about how ovidrel worked. If you are starting to ovulate and trigger, you'll just have a stronger ovulation and it'll happen within 12 hrs. If you haven't started ovulating yet and trigger, it's closer to 36 hrs. There was some more to it but I've now forgotten. 

TravelingCouple

Thanks ladies. I feel pretty numb today. 

@eggplantface I agree, that's why we're going to Hawaii in May. And now possibly Florida in Sept since I'm not ktfu. So I will be spending my afternoon continuing to plan our Hawaii trip bc at least that's something I can put my time and energy in and see an actual result that will bring an awesome vacation.

wabash15

@travelingcouple hugs girl. I've been there too. digging those damn tests out of the garbage and thinking I saw something then wondering and torture only to have AF show. Be good to yourself today. IF is a B*.

KristoKekerooni

@leekat14 - Normally, yes, you get a trigger. Not always though. I didn't last cycle. If it's an IUI/Clomid cycle then you will almost certainly get a trigger. How monitored will you be? I feel like the less monitored, the less likely you'll get a trigger.

 eggplantface said:

@TravelingCouple IF and the uncertainty surrounding the whole TTC process is stressing and just wears you out. After two years of "I can't plan anything more than a month ahead because I might be KU" I finally lost it, I was so burned out! We planned a vacation and as soon as I plunked down the non-refundable fee for the hotel I felt better. I felt like I was taking control back. I hate living month to month and seeing life in 30-day increments. Don't forget you're still you, so pursue the things that make you happy during this ridiculous process. And vent to us when needed! All the hugs.

Allllll of this @eggplantface


@TravelingCouple - I cringed a little when I read you pulled it out of the trash. I mean, I totally get it. You are sane we all do it.But nooooo. If it helps, after the time lapses, pull out a sharpie and mark over it. Make it so you can't see the inevitable evap. As far as the rest, I'm sorry you're feeling crummy. I hate this for you. I hate this for me. I hate this for the IF community we have here. It doesn't get easier. It just effing sucks. 

TravelingCouple

@KristoKekerooni oh I know, I cringed at myself. I know the crazy train well and encourage others not to test early or look at tests after the time frame to avoid undue heartache and wondering.

Sometimes my heart and head aren't on the same page. But I was giving myself the side eye all day yesterday. My head knew it was evap, but trying to convince my heart was another story.

Bababatty

@MrsJ2410 I'm late to the party, but I live in NYC and I second what others have said about there being a plethora of REs here. Mine was recommended by my OB/GYN. Since the one your doctor recommended is out of network, I'd go back to your OB/GYN and ask for a couple of other names. While using Yelp is a good option, I personally wouldn't put much stock in online reviews. We're at CWRC (because I really like the Columbia system--most of my doctors are through Columbia--and it's in Columbus Circle, sonvery convenient for me). The reviews are not stellar online but I disagree with a lot of what people have said. (I've noticed this for a lot of the big university medical system clinics, so it's not unique to CWRC. That's why I say not to rely on reviews.) We certainly haven't had bad experiences. Honestly, I'd recommend giving them a shot. It's a big practice, so I rarely see my RE for the treatments. But only REs do the testing and treatments, not nurses or techs. I like that a lot. You can also easily switch to other doctors if you don't like yours, it was easy to make an appointment, and we have had good communication with them. Compare this to the fertility clinic where my H is working with a urologist. We hate that practice so much, it's very disorganized. But we like the urologist, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[Deleted User]

@TravelingCouple Love tit is a hug.  I am so sorry.  PPs have said all I could say and more.  Lean on shoulders when you need it and make sure to do something that feels deeply good today.  Thanking of you

tamalahoops

@TravelingCouple Ugh the last few days of the tww are always the worst. The peak of hopeful optimism and the lowest low of crushing disappointment. As my RE would say you are due for some indulgence therapy. Do something kind for yourself today and know that we're here if you need to vent. 

MrsJ2410

@Bababatty thank you for that, very good to know! I have an appt with someone on Tuesday but if it doesn't seem like a good fit, I will try your suggestion. My office is in Columbus Circle so that is very appealing. 

leekat14

Thanks @Everycol0r and @laurad75

@KristoKekerooni I had an ultrasound a couple days ago, should get my period Saturday, another ultrasound 10 days after that to determine if I get the trigger

leekat14

So guys..I think I've gone crazy.  I just google "can an internal ultrasound detect pregnancy at 11dpo"

Everycol0r

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

Everycol0r

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

tamalahoops

Everycol0r said:

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

...but like....can he though?

Everycol0r

tamalahoops said:

Everycol0r said:

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

...but like....can he though?

I mean I'm pretty sure they can "think" right? I would think so. 

eggplantface

Everycol0r said:

tamalahoops said:

Everycol0r said:

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

...but like....can he though?

I mean I'm pretty sure they can "think" right? I would think so. 

If Look Who's Talking has taught us anything, and I think it has, fetuses think. Fun fact: their internal monologue sounds like Bruce Willis. 

Everycol0r

eggplantface said:

Everycol0r said:

tamalahoops said:

Everycol0r said:

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

...but like....can he though?

I mean I'm pretty sure they can "think" right? I would think so. 

If Look Who's Talking has taught us anything, and I think it has, fetuses think. Fun fact: their internal monologue sounds like Bruce Willis. 

This sounds like a lot of truth. 

TravelingCouple

Everycol0r said: 

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

Hahaha I literally laughed out loud bc I thought you were being funny in response to @leekat14's post before yours. Haha, good timing

leekat14

TravelingCouple said:

Everycol0r said: 

Everycol0r said:

Can Edward Cullen hear the thoughts of unborn babies? 

This was not the thread I thought it was....

Hahaha I literally laughed out loud bc I thought you were being funny in response to @leekat14's post before yours. Haha, good timing

@TravelingCouple I was like wait, what? Then I kept reading!

TravelingCouple

*TW pregnancy mentioned***

Ok so just need to post my thoughts here so I don't word vomit all over Facebook....


Assume I'm screaming into a pillow right now... ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?

I just saw a post on FB from an 18 YEAR OLD who has a 6 month old child that OOPS I'M PREGNANT. When she went in to get a BC shot, the doc made her take a test first and "OOPSIE I'M PREGNANT." This is from the same person who constantly posts how "dumb" her boyfriend is and how she can never hold a job. Unbelievable. I hate Facebook. If I didn't need it for my job I'd have deleted it from my life a long time ago. 

Today just needs to end.

TravelingCouple

And the hits just keep coming. My sister just left me a long VM about how hurt she is that I never ask about her pregnancy and how uninvolved I've been. Maybe I should just go crawl into a hole.

Sorry to dump all this, I feel you like you ladies and my DH are the only people who get it.

Anyway, good night. I hope tomorrow's a better day.