TTCAL Weekly Check-In 3/6-3/11

NYTino24

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

I figured there are a bunch of us, so it might be nice to have a thread here in addition to TTCAL to encourage anyone who wants to participate from either board.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.)

How are things going?

Any testing coming up?

Any recent results?

How is your partner dealing?

kissthesky32

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.) Hi, all. Long time lurker and streaky poster. I've decided to jump back into posting now that we're approaching a year of TTC. I've had 3 early losses, the most recent being January 2017. We think there's a low progesterone issue, so I need to go in immediately after my next positive test for labs.

How are things going? Ok. I took this last loss very hard. I'm doing better now.

Any testing coming up? Just HPTs.

Any recent results? Does my BFN at 7dpo count? I know - it's way too early - but the cheapies make testing 10000 times so easy.

How is your partner dealing? He's fine. Emotions aren't his strong suit.

purplg8r

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.) I'm 36 & H is 38. Currently going through an ectopic. 

How are things going? My hcg levels went down 22% on the 7 mark which is good because they needed to go down at least 15%. The bleeding got heavier overnight so I'm gonna hope that's a good sign & not bad. I have to go in for bloodwork & a dr appt this week.  I'm hoping she clears me for softball & running because I'm out of excuses as to why I'm not participating in them. And we leave for Shanghai in a little over a week.  Really hoping she doesn't tell us we can't go because I might lose it. 

Any testing coming up? Just more bloodwork to make sure hcg is going down. 

Any recent results? From the 3 day to 7 day mark they went from 703 to 547

How is your partner dealing? He's fine

NYTino24

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.)

I am 34 as of yesterday. I had my loss around 8 weeks in January. No reason given because the doctor didn't test. I either have clotting disorder VWD or APLS. 

How are things going?

I have been extremely lethargic since O, taking 2-4 hour naps and sleeping for 12 hours a night. I don't know what's up, but I feel fatigued even after sleep. Progesterone had to be low last cycle as my LP was barely 10 days.

Any testing coming up?

DH and I have to go for genetic testing and I have to call the hematologist for another repeated loss panel. I haven't had repeated losses, but that's the name of the set of tests they typically do when someone had a bleeding disorder. If AF shows, I am doing CD3 testing. If I get a BFP this week, then I have to get HCG and progesterone tested. 

Any recent results?

I failed my SIBO test, so I have 2 weeks of antibiotics coming my way. Last time I took meds for stomach bacteria, it destroyed my stomach lining. Let's hope this one is more gentle. Kind of sad because the bloating I get makes me have flashbacks to being KU, and that should go away once it's treated.

How is your partner dealing?

He is my rock. He lets me talk about it all I want and then gently reminds me that worrying about the past or future won't help us. He has been Googling and reading more about the whole TTC process, which surprised me. He knows I was having a hard time with my birthday coming up, so he used our old 30 candles on the cake instead of 34.

icecubeinthedesert

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.) To recap, I'm going through my second loss in 6 months now. This time, baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, should be 10 weeks now. 

How are things going? So my plan Friday was to take Cytotec to get this miscarriage over with. But surprise! I started bleeding Friday and decided to try the natural route.
TMI/TW alert:

I passed a lot of clots and what I thought was tissue early Sunday morning, then started bleeding very heavily. Went to the ER, where of course things started to slow down, but they confirmed that the gestational sac is still there. Other than some cramping if and on, I'm feeling OK. 

Trying to talk with my doc this morning about whether I should wait or try Cytotec now. Update: doctor recommends taking Cytotec tonight. Now I need to get DH on board with staying home tomorrow in case something scary happens.

Any testing coming up? let's get over this hurdle first, but yes. Right now I'm hoping to send some tissue in for karyotyping, but yuck. It's such a hassle. Please tell me it's worth it?

Any recent results? nope

How is your partner dealing? Poor DH has been worried for me this weekend, which is sweet, but he's not thinking straight and keeps doing/saying things that piss me off. I know it's probably just the pain/hormones on my end, so I'm trying to be understanding too. We both just want this over with.

icecubeinthedesert

@kissthesky32 Welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses. I understand that it takes some time to come to terms with it. Just when I think I'm OK mentally, I have a breakdown. 

@purplg8r, I hope things continue to improve for you. Make sure to take care of yourself first. Don't worry about trying to keep appearances if it means doing something that puts you at risk. I know I'm guilty of this as well, since I'm to stubborn.

@NYTino24, HBD! Your DH is so sweet!

dragonfly87-2

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.)

I am 29 and DH is 31, lots of details in my siggy. Had a loss in December around 4.5 weeks. Suspected thin uterine lining and low progesterone due to 1 day of spotting after loss and low temps before BFP. I haven't had a normal period after the loss and we are on cycle 6 total, 4 AL. My last AF got up to 2.5 days of light-medium flow, so it's encouraging, but pre-Mirena I had 5 day periods. So not sure what is going on there.

How are things going?
I got really worked up at the beginning of this cycle and around O because I had zero CM. Nothing, dry as a desert. Luckily, I had just purchased some pre-seed. But my temps are inconsistent and my level of optimism this cycle are low. However, as annoyed as I am to be on cycle 6, I am surprisingly calm and have just started to accept that we have little control over this. We will just keep doing what we are doing for at least 3 more cycles. If we aren't KTFU by the end of cycle 9 I have a plan. I will ask for basic blood work from my OB and DH will do an SA. Then we will keep trying until the year mark. My main concern right now is my uterine lining and short AFs. So hoping it corrects itself soon.

Any testing coming up?
Nope, in the TWW, so no HPTs until next week.

Any recent results?
Nope.

How is your partner dealing?

We don't really talk about TTC itself anymore. I try not to mention when my FW is because it creates performance anxiety issues. We did talk about him exercising more and drinking more water/taking his multivitamin for TTC purposes. He was receptive to that. He doesn't really like to talk about emotional or difficult things, so other than "isn't that baby cute," or something similar, I don't bring up my frustrations too much.

dragonfly87-2

@icecubeinthedesert I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope taking the cytotec helps the situation and that nothing crazy happens. Hugs.

@purplg8r FX the blood work continues to come back at lower levels and that you get cleared to play softball/go to shanghai!

NYTino24

@icecubeinthedesert I wish my doc listened to me and had done the the karotyping. Now I'll never know. I am getting genetic testing sometime in the next two weeks for myself and DH, but that only gives us chances / probably of a child carrying anything we may have. Testing fetal tissue tells you if it did happen. 

GG620

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.) 

Good morning ladies! It has been a bit since I have posted on this thread, but I would like to become more involved on this thread as well. I am 28, DH is 30. DH and I unfortunately suffered 2 losses in 2016. I have PCOS and am currently monitoring the growth of several ovarian cysts with my RE. 

How are things going? Ehh they are going. I have this fear I won't be able to get pregnant again, and obviously am terrified of it happening a third time and then the chances of having a healthy pregnancy reduce by a good bit.

Any testing coming up? If (all the fingers crossed) AF shows again, my RE wants me to have another vaginal ultrasound to check the size of the cysts he saw last cycle.

Any recent results? Happy note all of my other tests came back completely normal - blood tests, genetic tests, etc.

How is your partner dealing? He is ever the optimist. Thinks things are going to be completely fine and that I just need to be patient ha

@kissthesky32 so sorry about your losses. I 100% agree on the cheapie wondfos making it just so easy to test every day 8DPO. I can never make to the missed AF date like some of these strong ladies ha.

@purplg8r hope that your bloodwork and dr. appt go well this week and that you can go to Shanghai. Are you going just for vacation?

@nytino24 aww hooray for DH! I hope that your birthday was a good one, despite what life is throwing at you. God luck with the panel testing

@icecubeinthedesert I am so sorry that you are back here. I had a very similar experience (2 losses in a row and the second stopped growing at 6 weeks as well). I did the natural route both times, so just if you have any questions I am always a PM away  

@dragonfly87 I would like to try to work on being a bit more like you this cycle. I know it stresses DH when I bring up the TTC issue or the FW and I would like to work on not doing that and just being more zen, but it is just so difficult

NYTino24

@GG620 I feel you on the testing early after loss. It's like you want to race to the doc to get progesterone tested ASAP! Glad your testing came back good!

dragonfly87-2

@GG620 @NYTino24  I feel like I have the opposite problem. I haven't been able to bring myself to test before 13 DPO (14 Day LP) because I am afraid of having an early loss again. For some reason I have a fear of getting a bfp and then AF/bleeding happening. Irrational....I know.

NYTino24

@dragonfly87 It's totally normal for someone TTCAL to not want to test. I just don't want to wait and worry. I'd rather know either way!

purplg8r

@NYTino24 I hope the antibiotics are nice to you

@icecubeinthedesert I hope you're feeling ok--thinking of you 

@dragonfly87 are you still drinking Pom?

@kissthesky32 I'm so sorry about your losses

@GG620 my H is kinda like that and it frustrates me. Yup!  I've been to all the other Disney parks in the world so want to this one while we can still afford it!

dragonfly87-2

@purplg8r yep still going pom strong! 

KariAnn323

@kissthesky32 Hugs
@purplg8r FX your numbers continue to decrease quickly
@NYTino24 Aww that's so sweet of your DH!
@dragonfly87 I might steal your plan. We're in cycle 6 right now. The idea of waiting another 6 months to start any testing doesn't make any sense to me.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.) I'm 28 and DH is 31. We had one loss in December. Suspected progesterone issue, but could have also been a chromosomal issue.

How are things going? Pretty good right now. I'm in the TWW. Feeling really hopeful right now. Slightly worried because I know that the higher the high the harder the fall.

Any testing coming up? HPTs later this week

Any recent results? Nope

How is your partner dealing? He's doing pretty well. Last week he had a little bit of break down last week. DH and I were in the "No kids ever" camp for a very long time so now that we're trying sometimes I get anxious that he doesn't really want a baby, he just wants to make me happy. We're both huge Chicago Blackhawks fans (**TW** with our loss I told him by giving him a Blackhawks onesie **End TW**). The Blackhawks advertising slogan is "One Goal." When he got home one night last week he explained how he had had a really bad day at work and on his way home he saw a car in front of him that a Blackhawks license plate holder that said "One Goal" at the bottom. He said that it made him cry for a good 10 minutes because all he wants is to announce to everyone that we've achieved our "One Goal" and that it's our baby. 

kiki75

Introduce yourself: MMC @ 9 weeks

How are things going? Eh. I'm in a good part of my cycle right now where there's hope so, I'm enjoying that for now. Today I'm not not pregnant. 

Any testing coming up? Initial consult with RE on Wednesday and we'll go over initial testing. Really looking forward to making a plan. The last few months where it's become clear that this normal TTC-business isn't working and waiting to get the ball rolling on something new has been pretty lame. 

Any recent results? I'm not 100% sure how to interpret my AMH results but I think they're within the normal range. It looks like H's SA isn't the worst news but isn't great. It looks like the RE practice we're with has urologists on staff so it's nice that we won't need a referral to another place/we might get in in a more timely fashion.

How is your partner dealing? Honestly, I don't think it has even crossed his mind that my EDD was this month. I don't fault him for it. They just experience the whole thing so differently. I think for so many of them, a huge step in it becoming real is in seeing the heartbeat and hearing an EDD from the doctor. So since he didn't get that part, he never got attached to a date or planning around a date or anything like that. So, ignorance is bliss?

@purplg8r I'm so glad to hear that it sounds like you're healing and moving forward. If anyone keeps pushing about missing running & softball, can you tell them you've been dealing with an injury? If not and you get cornered, just say that you've been dealing with a medical thing, it's not a big worry, just a thing that needs to be dealt with, and no you don't want to talk about it. End of discussion. 

@NYTino24 Happy belated!

@icecubeinthedesert I'm thinking about you especially tonight/tomorrow. GL. I hope that YH is able to stay home and take care of you. Best wishes for an excellent show to binge watch.

@dragonfly87 FWIW, I was worried about lining, too since I've been feeling like AF has been too short/light. It may be the addition of the pom juice but when I went in for my US at CD12, she said that my lining was at a 7.8 or so when usual lining at O is about 8. So... yes, it's still something to keep an eye on and to mention to the doctor, but for now, I'm looking at it as a reminder that it's completely possible to worry that something is a problem when it isn't.

@KariAnn323 I'm glad YH was able to open up to you. 

NYTino24

@Kiki75 Sorry DH didn't remember. Hopefully it will become a distant memory for you in the near future! I hope your docs can find a good plan.
@KariAnn323 Good luck!
@purplg8r I hope good things are on the horizon for you!!

kissthesky32

@NYTino24 - FX for your BFP this week.

@icecubeinthedesert - Thank you. I'm so sorry you're going through that. **TW** In my experience, when it happens, there won't be any doubt as to whether or not it's over **TW**

@GG620 - Thank you. The cheapies provide me with both a way to stay sane and a way to go f-ing nuts during the TWW. I even took two yesterday. At 7dpo. *facepalm*

@KariAnn323 - Thanks for the hugs Is your doc doing anything about the suspected progesterone problem? Or just having you come in for a blood test on your next BFP?

Thanks, @purplg8r

@Kiki75 - Hugs for your EDD month.

ETA: formatting is hard.

KariAnn323

@kissthesky32 Just blood work as soon as I get my next BFP, which of course has made me a POAS addict

kissthesky32

KariAnn323 said:

@kissthesky32 Just blood work as soon as I get my next BFP, which of course has made me a POAS addict

Me too! My doc also suspects low progesterone is an issue, so I'm in the same boat. Calling as soon as I see a hint of a maybe line. Of course, this also means that I spent way too long analyzing my 8dpo hpt this morning.

GG620

@nytino24 yes, exactly!! *If* I get a BFP again then for darn sure I am literally running to my RE straighaway haha

@dragonfly87 I also totally understand not wanting to test. Some days I just think why am I torturing myself

@purplg8r wow!! That is impressive! Have a blast!!

@kissthesky32 we have all been there girl. I am right there with you. I'll just be testing every day, but to add pain I have PCOS so my O dates are always best guesses since my cycles have ranged from 33 to 48 days. I stopped temping at the advice of my RE for sanity purposes, but I could be over here testing and have just ovulated yesterday (hope not based on CM) haha

SP128

@purplg8r  Shanghai sounds great.  Fx for you.

@dragonfly87  Oohhh Pom.  What is it supposed to do for you?  I like your plan.  You sound so zen : )

@KariAnn323  GL on HPT.  I think I'm going to start to test on 3/10

@Kiki75  Take care of yourself for EDD month.  I am dreading mine in May....


Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.)  I'm 36, DH is 35.  First preg.  MMC 10/2016

How are things going?  Things are going as well as they can be.  I was convinced that I was KU a couple days ago.  Now I am convinced that I am not since I have no symptoms to spot.  

Any testing coming up?  Going to start HPT on 3/10.  Gearing up toward RE consult on 3/16.  If it is pos on 3/10, I'm going to sneak in a beta.  In reality, I'm trying to avoid the $60 copay or the $100 cancellation fee (if it is not cancelled with at least 48 hours notice).  If I get a BFP let's say on 3/14, I'm going to go to the appointment and get as much info as I can since the copay is cheaper than the cancellation fee : )

Any recent results?  Nope

How is your partner dealing?  DH is doing well, I think.  He is going to go to the consult with me.  I asked him when I made the apt a few weeks ago and he was kind of snappy and was like "Do you want me to go?!"  I told him it was up to him but it was highly recommended by the clinic.  This afternoon he said he was going to go.  DH has mentioned twice this week that if we get tests done and something comes up as being wrong that we can't blame each other for it.  My thinking was - obviously.  However, since he brought it up, I'm thinking it is a fear of his.  

dragonfly87-2

@Sp128: Lol. I don't think my DH would describe my approach as very zen, but I will take it! 

It's not proven, but there is some literature on pomegranate juice helping build a thicker uterine lining. Some IF clinics actually recommend it for women about to go through FET who have lining issues. I don't know if it is working (although my AF flow has increased/lengthened since starting to drink it...could be coincidence), but I figure it couldn't hurt! 

icecubeinthedesert

Hey all, thanks for all the positive thoughts last night.
TMI alert: I had a pretty positive experience with the Cytotec (honestly I didn't think it was doing anything until I passed the tissue), and the ultrasound confirmed that there is no remaining tissue. I was able to collect everything to submit for karyotyping, so we should get those results back in a few weeks. In about a month I have a consult with the doctor to go over our options for further testing.
I'm so relieved this is over!

purplg8r

@icecubeinthedesert miso glad last night wasn't too terrible!!

icecubeinthedesert

@purplg8r, that was amazing. Thanks for putting a smile on my face!

kissthesky32

@icecubeinthedesert I'm glad it worked well for you and you can stop wondering and waiting. It's a totally shitty experience and being dragged out only makes it worse.

dragonfly87-2

@icecubeinthedesert Again, so sorry you are going through this, but thanks for the update. Glad everything went well and you have some relief right now. FX you get more answers soon.

ladipale

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.) Howdy - I'm Laura and thought I'd jump in here as well as the TTCAL board. I've had 2 losses in the last year. The first last year was MMC at 13 weeks and required two D&Cs to resolve (the first resulted in a perforated uterus) and then I got pg again and had MMC at 16 weeks - D&E was a month ago

How are things going? It has been such a tough and grueling year. A month after my first loss we lost my grandfather, then in July my father in law was diagnosed with cancer. He's in the hospital right now and not doing well. I did have my first post surgery AF. Surgeon wants me to wait another cycle before getting pregnant to try and allow my cervix time to heal after 3 dilations in the last year. We are NTNP

Any testing coming up? Nope. I've done all.the.tests! everything normal - so depressing. 

Any recent results? See above. All my blood tests are normal. Both babys were chromosomal normal. I'm repeating the anticoagulant tests 12 weeks after first time I did it to see if there is any change. I'm healthy, DH is healthy, we have two healthy kids - so all the doctors are baffled. I've seen 2 OBs and a MFM. Its discouraging when even the MFM can't figure out whats going on.

How is your partner dealing? Its been a tough road, made tougher by his dad being so sick. We are in a holding pattern in our lives right now - not just because of the growing the family part but also because of his dad. We are kind of in survival mode.

icecubeinthedesert

@ladipale, Welcome, but sorry you have to join us here. I'll also be having testing done on my second loss, and have previously been cleared of any blood clotting disorders (although I don't know how complete that panel was). Have you had an HSG or other uterus structure test to check if there are any potential structural problems? It sounds like since you've had two successful pregnancies that it wasn't likely an issue, but I thought maybe since you had a uterine perforation with your first D&C that there might be some scarring causing problems? Or potentially another secondary issue?

ladipale

@icecubeinthedesert - given that I carried 2nd pregnancy to 16 weeks they don't think it's a structural problem. During the 2nd D&c last year OB also did hysteroscopy and visualized perforation and it had basically healed in the 10 days since the first. It was small- thank goodness. I've also had 2 c/s. we know placenta was not near scar. 

kissthesky32

@ladipale I'm so sorry for your losses. It must be so frustrating to not have any reasons why they happened. FX it was just two random instances of shitty luck and your next BFP will lead to a H&H 9 months.

dragonfly87-2

ladipale  Welcome and sorry you find yourself here. It must be incredibly frustrating to not have answers as to why the loses have occurred. I hope that you are able to find some support on this board.

ladipale

@dragonfly87 and @kissthesky32 - thanks for the warm welcome.

starla

Hi all. there doesn't seem to be much traffic on the MC/loss board so I thought I'd jump in here as well as WTO.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.)
I'm 33 and DH is 32. This was my first pregnancy and first loss. I should have been 11 weeks on Monday, but the baby was measuring 3 weeks behind and had no heartbeat. It died sometime since our last U/S on Feb. 15th. I am waiting for it to pass naturally and going to the gyno on Tuesday.

How are things going? Not good. I'm feel like I'm stuck in purgatory walking around with this thing. I had cried in the bathroom at work a few times and decided to work from home today. I just really want to get this whole thing over with and move on to TTC again.

Any testing coming up? Nope. Will have an U/S afterwards to make sure everything passed.

Any recent results? No.

How is your partner dealing? I think he's OK. He's sad and disappointed, like me. I've been angry and have snapped at him a few times. I'm sure that's not helping.. I'm just a mess.

GG620

@starla again, so very sorry for your loss. Grieve and process this as you need. I did the natural route with both of my MC's and the waiting is horrible. FX'd that this is over quickly for you and that you are back to TTC *HUGS*

@icecubeinthedesert so very glad that things went well for you and good luck with the results of the karotyping. Best of luck to you!

icecubeinthedesert

@starla, Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know all too well how much it hurts knowing and having to wait. Hang I there. DH and I also struggled with communication this time and had a few telling matches back and forth. Remember that it is an emotional time for both of you, and try to communicate the emotions by taking rather than snaps of anger. When I focused on that, we both felt much better. You will get through this!

mispanda

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important (age, number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.)  We are both 30, 1 loss at 4.5 weeks in February.

How are things going? Ok, half way thru tww and I'm getting nervous.  

Any testing coming up? Just some HPTs next week.

Any recent results? Not yet

How is your partner dealing?  I'm not sure.  I asked him if hes talked to any of his friends that we know have had some losses or just anyone of his friends and he hasn't.  

kkappl87

I am 29 and DH is 32. We have a 17 month old daughter. We had a miscarriage on Feb 10th, should have been 8 weeks but never made it past 5 weeks. 

We are doing okay, TTC again, did not have to wait since everything happened naturally and so early into the pregnancy. Hoping for BFP soon or AF so we can time everything easier.

No testing or results.

DH seems to be doing good. I think he tried to stay strong for me since I was heartbroken. First pregnancy I know it wasn't real for him until the first ultrasound and seeing baby so maybe it wasn't as hard on him as it was disappointing.

ladipale

@dragonfly87 and @kissthesky32 - thanks for the warm welcome.