TTC Naturally/no interventions

jennh75b

I realized that not everyone who joins this board is experienced with TTC just because of our age, and not everyone who wants to use this board is already to the point of using ART.  I only started TTC when I was 39, so I'm sure there are others who might want a place where they can post what's going on with them.  Maybe not a weekly check-in per say, but a place to ask questions, give updates, whatever's on their mind, they could do so here.  I am not new to TTC, but I've been through the specialists and some interventions and I am back to trying naturally.  This could be a good place for anyone to provide feedback as to different approaches, lifestyle choices, supplements, and all things TTC.  

If it's not a good idea, then it will just die a slow, miserable death.  But to anyone out there who may not feel comfortable in starting a separate thread about something that they are wondering about, feel free to post it here.

jennh75b

About TTC in general - at my old age of 41, I am noticing that if we don't get the BD out of the way earlier in the day, time seems to tick away and we are at the end of the night and we have NO intentions of BD.  Another day wasted.  It literally happened over the weekend, two days in a row.  So yesterday I made sure that as soon as he came home from work (I was off yesterday), I insisted we BD before he had dinner.  No chance to get full and not want to do anything other than be a couch potato all night.  Sadly, I also bribed him with pot pies (which I hate) in exchange for sex.  It was more of a joke, but hey, it did motivate him.

Anyone else find it a real chore just to both have enough energy to BD??

DanieKA

Thank you for starting this @jennh75b! I totally know what you mean. I hate any physical activity after eating or when I'm full let along BDing. I'm not too terribly tired after work to BD, but it's pretty much game over after dinner. We always joke that all we want to do is rub our bellies and watch tv after eating!   

I'm TTC baby 1 and I'm on CD7 of cycle 1. SO is 38, I'm 35. It's crazy to think we're finally here. I'm not doing anything special, per se (I mean, I'm taking vitamins and all that). I stopped taking the pill in November and my cycles returned to normal immediately. I've been tracking ovulation since then and I've been getting positive OPK's around CD 13/14. I just had my annual checkup at my ObGyn and made it a preconception appointment. He was super excited for me and said everything is great except I do have fibroids, which I knew. Not uncommon at all and I've never had issues or pain associated with them, but he did order an ultrasound to check on their placement. I guess that's good. There's no point in trying in vain for months and months if a fibroid is blocking the path. I'm glad he was so proactive. Hopefully it's just routine and everything looks small and out of the way.

Anyway, I will share that at this point I'm trying to keep TTC as 'carefree' as I can for us as a couple. We're both ready, but very aware it could take time. So for now no strict schedules. I will make sure we BD on my fertile days, but I'm not sending him a alerts or texts or anything. This may be naive, but we've both seen the strain doing it on demand can take and how frustrating it can be and I'm just trying to be as calm and level headed as possible for now. Talk to me in a year if that doesn't work! I'll be sending out calendar alerts and blocking off time in his work schedule!

I'm nervous that we'll have issues. I'm excited. I'm even a little scared about the general life change, but mostly just ready to expand our little family!

vlagrl29

I had more energy for it before DD came along.  DH knows that it has to happen before 10pm at night or it never will - lol.  I'm always super in the mood during my fertile week but am always glad for the TWW so I can decompress after all the activity.  For me it helps to not track.  If I track then I'm always paranoid if we are doing it on the right days. 

jennh75b

@DanieKA - Keeping TTC care free is great!  At this point you should have no problem doing so.  I'm far beyond that but at the same time I'm trying to get back to that.  I do think I'm going to have to tell H that we need to BD before dinner or we just won't do it.  Wishing you the best news with your fibroid issue/tests!

@vlagrl29 - I'm not tracking, other than to know what CD I'm on, then I just tell H we need to start BD for the next several days, then I'm done with any tracking other than to mark AF's unwelcome arrival.  And I barely cared when we didn't BD on those two days we never got around to it.  It is what it is at this point, and I'm no longer stressing about any of it.

SP128

@jennh75b  I can definitely related to this.  This is our routine so far..... We talk a good game before dinner of BD.  We eat dinner while watching either Shark Tank or the Big Bang Theory, we watch a little more, we both get tired, we delay cleaning up.  We brush our teeth and we go to bed.  When DH hits his head on the pillow it is like a trigger.  He is the best sleeper I know!  
During FW I make it a point to BD. I am on a mission.  During FW I will take it when I can get it.  If we happen to have the same days off, I will take the opportunity before we get the day started or someone gets sleepy.

I was more at east the first couple of months.  I feel the pressure now though.  

vlagrl29

It just works better for us if there isn't stress added to it. For me personally I don't think tracking makes conceiving easier. In fact I think it makes it harder. I'm at the point where I figure I have about 3ish years until I'm 40 so getting pregnant will hopefully happen at some point.  @jennh75b

PoeMasque

I, personally, have no issue with BD at night. I actually prefer it.....I'm more in the mood, but my SO will refuse, saying he's too tired. I figure he has he harder job, so I make a point to shower with him on the mornings we need to BD, we have a gigantic shower, so it's easy to get the job done and clean up after!

jennh75b

@PoeMasque  - I wake up earlier than H every day.  He is not a good morning person, so morning sex is out, although we did ask the RE if changing up the time of day would help.  Of course it doesn't matter when you do it, really, but H said we should try it in the morning anyway.  Did we ever?  NO!  

You would think it would come easier on weekends, but we end up being out all day, shopping, dinner, whatever, and then we get home and we're even too tired to stay up to watch a movie, let alone BD.  

@vlagrl29 - I used to track because I thought the RE would want the info, and for my own tracking back when H thought that BD once in a FW was enough.  I try to look at my calendar/app the least amount as possible.  Basically when I suspect AF might come, and then when I think I might be close to O.  It's helped a lot with reducing the stress.

I had a dream last night that I was pretty sure I was pregnant.  I had these two neighbors in the dream who found out they were pregnant with girls, and I wanted to find out if I was pregnant, too.  Then I was at a doctor's office, basically the doctor called me in for additional testing because I thought I was pregnant, and I thought to myself, well, I have never had them go this far before with testing, so I must be pregnant.  I was getting really excited and happy in the dream.  I remember thinking they were going to show me an ultrasound pic.  

Everything in that dream ties back to me FB stalking my neighbor who just added me as a friend.  I saw a pic of her daughter's US in a pic she posted.  Then I saw a pic of her and her two friends all pregnant at the same time.  On top of that we've been good with BD so far this week, so we are excited (we haven't tried really in the past 4 months, so we're sort of refreshed and hopeful again).  

vlagrl29

@JennH28- speaking of dreams - I had a dream my dog was dying last night.  Not totally dead but hurt like hit by a car and my parents had dug a grave for her and she was in it but still alive so I took her out because I didn't want her burried alive.  I woke up glad my dog was alive but also very sad I still am not pregnant and that we lost the baby that took us 6 months to get.  I know you think I'm nuts but sometimes I wonder if its God thinking I can't handle being pregnant again.  DD's pregnancy was very hard on me and I actually had to stop working for a bit.  I felt bad a couple days during my pregnancy in December and had a fear it would be the same way.  Maybe I'm scared I can't handle it again.  IDK - this morning I was feeling down and told DH I'm probably barren and cant have any more kids.  Sometimes its hard to keep the positivity going especially when your dealing with allergies and are so tired.

jennh75b

@vlagrl29 - I'm sorry, what a terrible dream!  Makes me want to go hug my dog.  

I get where you're coming from with "is it meant to be this way".  I often wonder if God thinks I can't handle it either, for many reasons.  I have chronic back pain and worry whether it will get worse if I have a child, and then maybe I won't be able to care for the child or even be able to work to raise the child, as I am the bread winner.  I'm sorry you're feeling down about it.  It's definitely not easy.  

One more thing I've noticed since we're back to TTC naturally.  I have headaches during O.  I never noticed it or associated that before until I had taken Clomid last year.  I blamed it on the Clomid, but now I'm thinking I was always having headaches during O, but the Clomid made them worse.  I will have to take note in the next few months if this is the case, but of course there's not much I can do about it, it's just an observation.

Momifbysea

@vlagrl29 and @jennh75b I sometimes feel the same way about if can I handle another pregnancy. Obviously at 42 I'm more tired than I was at 39, but I go back and forth between being an "of course I can" confident superwoman and a somewhat less confident self-doubter. In the end I believe we muster the strength we need to handle our situations in life or find support. I say this because there have been times that I look back on and think how the heck did I get through THAT chapter?!? Lol

vlagrl29

That is so true @Momifbysea - I've had some shitty chapters and yet I'm still standing so I hear ya.  I'd just be afraid of being too sick to where I couldn't work and currently we do need my income to make me sleep at night lol

livingthedream-3

Are you charting or temping? We have kids already and both work FT out of the home, so we are busy and tired. I would not be able to keep up w/ a strict BDing schedule. When we are TTC I chart and we do make sure we have sex when I'm in my fertile window. 

@vlagrl29 I'm so sorry for your loss. It seems like a lot, but I think you'd be surprised what you can handle once in the situation. You have to do what is best for you though. TTC is hard and TTC 35+ is harder mentally than people not AMA realize.

FTR. I was not quite AMA when I had my first and it took us a couple years and worked with an RE. I was AMA with the second and never saw the RE and conceived after 7 months. Obviously older even now I have no idea what would happen a 3rd time around.

vlagrl29

@LivingTheDream - yeah I think the 35 age aka AMA in itself can be more of a mental block "you" may put upon yourself.  I don't think just because someone turns 35 that suddenly its much harder to have kids as that's not the case with everyone.  Even younger girls that are 30 can have a very hard time getting pregnant.  But I get what you mean.  It's true that anyone can handle more than they think they can as I've already seen that with myself in my own life.  It's all about the journey right?