Anyone know why this board only has a TWW thread?

laurad75

I feel like I rarely contribute to this board because the check-ins are specifically TWW and I haven't had a TWW in month.  We are IVF  and repeating ER a few times before a FET.  Does anyone oppose a weekly check-in instead?  

vlagrl29

I have no idea - I've wondered the same myself.  maybe we should include a WTO or weekly check in.  I'm not opposed.

laurad75

Thanks @vlagrl29.  Since our group is small and manageable I vote for a weekly check-in so everyone can contribute to the same thread.  I'm actually going to start one today to kick things off and hope the group likes it.  

vlagrl29

works for me!

PhillymommaX2

I'd love that

Momifbysea

I've wondered the same thing, thanks for starting this! I always feel almost bad "hogging" the TWW thread to add updates so this makes much more sense! Especially when women on this board are more likely to be doing interventions I think.

laurad75

@Momifbysea Thanks for commenting.  I know you generally start the thread each week so I was hoping you didn't mind.  

Momifbysea

@laurad75 I don't mind at all! I had just taken it over awhile ago from someone who had left, since they asked for someone to step up. I love your new format and hopefully this will encourage more people to post regularly!

jennh75b

There used to be several different check-in threads, even a grad check-in, but there was such a lull in people contributing in 2016 that they all fell by the wayside.  

I pretty much have had to drop out because I am not pursuing further interventions and it hurts too much to read about other people's progress with interventions, even though I do genuinely care about all of you pursuing that journey and wish you all nothing but the best.  It's nothing hurtful against others, it's just not what I can handle emotionally to read about when I am not taking the intervention route, but am only trying naturally and we have a deadline of the end of this year before we throw in the towel.  

I love how supportive everyone here has been, I just feel I'm on a different path than most and can't relate much.  I've been coming here since the end of 2015 and it's hard to completely cut this support out while I'm still TTC, it just isn't the best for me emotionally at times when I see the hopefulness of everyone moving forward with ART.  

In general I've always wanted this board to be more active, I'm not sure why it doesn't seem to click with people, as we do get many intros, just not a ton of contributors.  Anyway, didn't want to hijack this thread, I'm glad to see more interest on this board - it used to be much more active!!

DanieKA

jennh75b said:

There used to be several different check-in threads, even a grad check-in, but there was such a lull in people contributing in 2016 that they all fell by the wayside.  

In general I've always wanted this board to be more active, I'm not sure why it doesn't seem to click with people, as we do get many intros, just not a ton of contributors.  Anyway, didn't want to hijack this thread, I'm glad to see more interest on this board - it used to be much more active!!

I'm sorry you are going through what you are. I just wanted to let you know my thoughts on what you wrote above.

I intro'd last year, granted I was 34, so slightly underage (I'm 35 now and 12-15 days from legit Cycle #1 of trying. I'm on my period now.) and while half the girls in my intro/question thread were great, because I wasn't 35 and wasn't "actively trying"-i was asking about egg freezing-I felt shoo'd off by 1 or 2 active posters who didn't think this was the appropriate place for me and that I had broken the board rules. I guess people who are benched or not trying to build back up some mental sanity are breaking the rules, too. 

And even though I am actively TTC now, I'm only on cycle 1. a-I would feel horrible if I did a re-intro, and conceived quickly. I get that it basically amounts to a drive by BFP. I get that. Which leads me to b-feeling like it almost seems like it's inappropriate to join the board until you've had some intervention or have been TTC on your own for a while and are about to embark on intervention. Even though the name of the board is "TTC over 35" which is exactly what I'm doing, starting a thread on charting, or OPK's or any of that when I am such a well, virgin, for lack of a better word, to the whole TTC thing seems silly here. 

And yes, I realize there's another board for general TTC stuff, but it's difficult to go into a forum of 23 year olds. It's just harder when you've lived a bit more life. And less snarky. Though I love my snark. 

I participate in a lot of boards on different subjects, so I'm not new to rules or how things work on message boards. And I'm actually pretty snarky myself, but I don't want that here and I feel like I might be tip-toeing around other members even though I am "TTC over 35" to a T. And, of course, I would always, always offer support, or congrats, or opinions if asked. I say this as someone who had planned to be fully active on the board, giving my full support, not just asking questions and never answering others. That was implied, although I'm not sure what I could've written on that into post that said I wasn't here to participate. 

That's just my perspective and reason on why I check in, but never post. I will still probably lurk, but I still probably won't participate until/if we get to the intervention stage of things in 6 months or so. 

vlagrl29

IDK I started posting here I think 3 months into TTC last year.  I didn't feel akward and didn't have any interventions.  I get what you are saying about the younger ladies.  That's why I don't think I will do a birth month board when I do get pregnant because I already did that 6 years ago with my DD.  Honestly I will probably go to PGAL.

jennh75b

Thank you very much for speaking up @DanieKA!  First of all, right off the bat, I have to say that if you were to get a BFP even though you haven't posted that long, then that is just the way it is, and you shouldn't worry about a forum to judge you about that.  There are much more important things to worry about once you get a BFP!  I'm not saying that in a lecturing way, I mean that in a supportive way...that you need to use this forum for support for as long as it takes - if it takes one month so be it, if it takes six months, so be it - most people can tell when it's a true "drive by".  But even though you met some snarkiness during your intro - which I'm sorry if you felt that way, this is by far the least snarkiest board here on all of the forums!!!  

I'm glad you are speaking up here, and even though I haven't been around here, I want to welcome you.  Consider yourself a non-virgin.  I'm considering starting a thread just for us who are trying naturally, so maybe others who are new to TTC would join in?  I mean, I have been through the specialists and such, but that path is behind me now and so I don't feel like I fit in, but I also love how supportive everyone is here.  We are all on different paths but we all do have one common goal, so that should count for something.  

I did look up your intro, and I'm curious what is occurring now.  Did you decide to freeze eggs?  

DanieKA

@jennh75b, Thank you for the welcome. I'll definitely participate in a thread for people who are TTC without intervention, if you start it! 

As an update, I went to the specialist twice to discuss freezing my eggs and get tests done. Everything tested within normal ranges including my ovarian reserve. She did recommend I not wait too long to try, just given my age. Of course my regular obgyn is not worried at all. In the end I decided not to do it. The egg freezing process has advanced a lot in the last few years. I'm even getting instagram ads now about fertility preservation services. Companies are really jumping on the bandwagon. Which is good in terms of education, but I'm not sure how good in terms of having a live baby at the end. 

At this point, just based on my own research and opinion it's much more viable to freeze embryos as opposed to unfertilized eggs. The statistics are still pretty abysmal for frozen eggs turning into live babies. That should improve over the next decade, but in the end, it just wasn't the right choice for me. 

But, we tossed the bc in November and have been using condoms, and I've been tracking my cycles and using OPKs. I'm on CD3 so we'll see! Can't wait to jump in!

liljoy-2

@DanieKA Yeah, pretty much RE says you need at least 20 mature eggs for a live birth, if you are under 37! I thought there was a very high chance I could have 2 babies out of a good IVF cycle but nope, probabilities are a bitch, science is still not there and biology is biology, no matter how much the press or celebrities create the false impression that the 40s are the new 20s or something..ugh. 

jennh75b

@DanieKA - Thanks for the update, glad to see you are getting down and dirty.  lol.  Doing your own research is great, it can also be quite daunting and confusing.  At least it has been for me.  And I don't trust the RE enough to be unbiased.  I know there are plenty of good ones out there, but I don't have the time to build up a relationship with someone to know whether they just want my money or not.