Bitchfest Monday 2/27

DPandMB

Lets hear it ladies.  What happened this weekend or today that has you bitching?

DPandMB

I get how minor this is, but my morning sickness has me bitching today. I am 13+1. I'm officially second trimester. Why cant I feel better yet? Yes I realize how whinny I sound right now and I am ok with that.

wyomama0427

Lol @DPandMB  I love the gif!

My BF today is DH's POS dad. He added me on Facebook a few years ago but after DH and I got married and people were liking the family pictures that had DH's step dad in them instead of him, he deleted me. Also there was some weird shit that happened at the wedding.... he kept tickling. DH during the pictures and DH was stepping on my dress and I snapped at POS "dad" to knock it the hell off. DS is 13 months old and he hasn't seen him since he was two days old. The last DH heard from him was when DS was like 6 months old and he asked for a picture. But nothing since.

ANYWAY I'm friends with DH's bitch ass sister on FB, (really don't like her. Ugh. But I miss our nephews so I keep her on so I can see pictures of my boys. They moved away from us and took the boys. I miss those babies.) and she posted a picture of the two oldest boys and DH's dad comments on it something to the effect of "So cute, give them hugs from papa *insert douche name here*" .... It just makes me SO MAD that he doesn't even care about DS. Like DS isn't missing out on anything but it's so not fair ya know? I have half a mind to drive over to where DH's dad lives because it's in the same town our OB is and it's only like an hour and a half away, and sit down with this guy and have a serious come to Jesus meeting. Either you're in and you make the effort or you're out and we won't ever speak again. I'm not gonna have DS wondering who his grandpa WHO HAS THE SAME LAST NAME even is. I wish DH's mom and step dad would have adopted him when he was 16 so we didn't have to have this last name. 
Sorry for the long bitch and I know I've bitched about this before but that comment on Facebook just set me off again. He doesn't even care to see a PICTURE of DS. His son's son. Wtf? 

JustBored10

Today it is my boss.  He asks me how I am every morning and every morning I tell him I am good but tired.  This morning he looked at me and asked sarcastically "WHY?" "Why are you so tired all the time?" WTF! Maybe because I am growing a human being inside my uterus you idiot!!!

mercury94

@daniellelynette That's awful. I hate when parents basically play favorites.

We don't speak to DH's father, but will still use the last name as DH kept it. His mom remarried when he was real young and uses his step-dad's name. We're trying to figure out how to explain to the baby that we don't know the grandpa with our last name (without going into why we don't speak to him because it was a really bad history that we don't want to share at least not while Baby is young). DH used his step-dad's name some in high school. Sometimes he wishes he took it, but he's not really close to his step-dad either. It's a tough situation. I'm hoping to find a good answer before the baby is old enough to start asking questions. 

DPandMB

JustBored10 said:

Today it is my boss.  He asks me how I am every morning and every morning I tell him I am good but tired.  This morning he looked at me and asked sarcastically "WHY?" "Why are you so tired all the time?" WTF! Maybe because I am growing a human being inside my uterus you idiot!!!

This is basically what DH did this morning. He asked me why I keep falling asleep? Well gee, maybe its because I grew a lung today. What did you do?

wyomama0427

@bridge-and-wall he is totally plying favorites. Only because DH ran away from him at 16 to go live with his mom. I'm totally re saying everything from the last time I bitched about this lol. I guess it just makes me so mad... like POS deleted DH from Facebook too... for real? He never even posts anything.. like EVER... so it was 100% spiteful and not because of annoying sharing or something. 

beccam1230

@daniellelynette wow, this sounds soooo familiar. First of all, what a douchebag. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior, he's a an adult.. act like it, man! I hate hearing about this whole playing favorites between siblings and grandkids. My MIL and my husband's step dad do that crap. They very obviously prefer my husband's twin sister to my husband. It's a ridiculous story. However, my husband's biological father, which is really the only title for his stupid ass... is a real piece of work. He did manage to show up at our wedding and not cause a scene with my MIL, as they truly hate each other.. that was incredible. He's the most unethical human being I've ever met for sooooo many reasons, and overall.. he's a bad guy. He's never shown any interest in our son, and has no idea we are expecting another, because he won't call my husband back. In fact, we've stopped trying to tell him at all. He's never set eyes on our nearly 3 year old. While this isn't tragic for me, I can tell it's painful for my husband when we talk about it. What the hell is wrong with people??!

beccam1230

I have 2 today.. haha.
This has been making me soooo mad. I have a friend who lives in a different state, but we went to high school together and have remained close ever since. My sister is also close friends with her because they live in the same city and frequently do things together. So a few years ago, we found out we were pregnant at the same time! Unfortunately hers ended in a loss at about 6 1/2 weeks. She went on to have 3 more losses, and I was there to support her through each one. Fast forward to now. She is going through incredible fertility treatments, honestly things I haven't even heard of.. but I know how badly she wants a baby. So a few days ago, she starts posting on facebook that her new meds were going to be $4k each month until it worked, and she was crying and upset and didn't know what to do. Mind you she absolutely thrives on sympathy from anyone. So a bunch of her FB friends who don't know her very well, told her to set up a gofundme or other fundraising site. To which she agreed. And then started posting all the info about how to donate to her. So, what these nice people who are truly trying to help her do not know, is that she hasn't mentioned to any of them that in the past 2 1/2 months, she's spent $10k on vacations to Napa and Paris! Also she neglected to mention her stocked trust fund that she uses to just have fun with. I'm talking a lot of money. My guess? She doesn't WANT to pay for the meds. This was confirmed by my sister, who discussed it with her. 
It is bothering me so much, I don't know how to handle it. She is badly taking advantage of the kindness and generosity of nice people. 

wyomama0427

@beccam1230 go find me has always rubbed me the wrong way. A girl I went to high school with got her boob job paid for there. It totally undermines when people really need it, like a friend of mine whose baby was born at 30 weeks, has a TON of rare diseases and has been life flights back and forth from Utah to Pennsylvania, mom lost her job and dad is out of vacation and time off so he commutes hours and hours on his time off, they've almost lost her and she's six months old on ECMO. Their insurance isn't doing enough and the bills are stacking up. That is a cause I donated to. But a boob job? And not wanting to pay for your meds when you spent twice that on a vacation? Not sympathetic in the least. 

mrs_tacos

@beccam1230 That would seriously bother me! I've had friends who set up gofundme accounts for adoptions (and one couple who sold candy bars, and everyone thought it was for their niece's t-ball team, but it was actually to fund their adoption), but even that feels iffy to me. Of course I understand wanting a baby as soon as possible, I've spent the last four years hoping for one every month, but either suck up the expense like a big kid or be patient while you save enough, no one owes you help. But then to have a trust fund on top on that? That's unconscionable. 

jessieR358

GoFundMe accounts seriously bother me when people set them up for the dumbest reasons or when they don't need it. I think you can anonymously report her gofundme account. Taking money like that when you don't need is a. fraudulent and b makes you look like such a crappy person. Hopefully karma will catch up to her 

DPandMB

jessieR358 said:

GoFundMe accounts seriously bother me when people set them up for the dumbest reasons or when they don't need it. I think you can anonymously report her gofundme account. Taking money like that when you don't need is a. fraudulent and b makes you look like such a crappy person. Hopefully karma will catch up to her 

THIS! I have seen Go Fund Me accounts for trips to Disney and Student Loans? Really I graduated college 10 years ago and still have a ton of deb, and I'd love to go to Disney.

beccam1230

@daniellelynette that's one of the reasons I'm so bothered by it. There are so many people and causes that actually need the donations, which I will be happy to support- but this is so ridiculous! But oh my goodness, I hope your friend it getting the support they need, I'm so sorry they're going through that. What a heartbreaking situation.

@amandarene112 you're thinking like a responsible adult! I guess that's the difference between you and her, you have a conscience. I don't know why she feels that it's ok to take advantage of people that way! I think most people would have a tendency to complain a little bit about something like that, but to ask for money when you're fully capable of paying for it yourself, I'm unbelievable! I 100% agree with you, either pay for it yourself or save the money! Ugh.. some people!

jessieR358

My DH and I always joke like oh, we should just set up a go fund me account since we need a new car. Or let's just set up a go fund me account and we can do our renovation! Adulting isn't fun, but this is life! We work hard to pay for things! 

beccam1230

@jessieR358 I actually thought about reporting her.. but get this, I just checked her updates and she ditched the gofund me and just gave people her paypal info to donate money to her that way  maybe she didn't want anyone to report her for fraud. I soooo believe in karma!

@DPandMB right?! I feel like gofundme should be used for people who actually need help! So many people trying to get money for vacations and fun stuff that it tends to minimize the actual problems people need help with. Although, I will say that at least these people are honest about why they want the money, so others can choose to donate with all the facts! 

jessieR358

@beccam1230 ohhhh she so knows what she's doing! 

mrsmarygs

I agree with everyone else about GoFundMe. I feel like so many of them are just money grabbing or for stupid stuff. The only ones I've ever donated to were independent Christian films, and we set up one as a funeral fund for one of my DH's good friends.

mrs_tacos

I'm glad this thread was posted, because this bothered me all weekend, and DH was getting tired of hearing about it, haha. There was a girl from my neighborhood growing up that I was good friends with, but we lost touch over time. This weekend, she friended me on Facebook, and I got super excited. We messaged back and forth a little bit, but she didn't seem interested in catching up, she mainly just wanted to sell me DoTerra EOs. Her side of the conversation was basically, "You were always so smart growing up, I bet you love EOs now as an adult. You seem just like the type of woman smart enough not to force tons of medicines down her family's throats. Good news, because I can get you a wholesale price on any oils you want!" And the went into a spiel about which ones I should be ingesting while "preggers" ( I HATE that word.), and which ones I should have in my hospital bag for baby and myself to help us recover. Um. Ok. 1: It's super shitty of you to take advantage of friendships you no longer have an interest in to sell your product. 2: To not even mention the restrictions on many oils during pregnancy and breastfeeding, not to mention the plethora of oils you shouldn't use on or around an infant, is just irresponsible. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen, lady. Not cool, childhood friend. Not. Cool. 

JNR6510

@daniellelynette I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Sounds kind of like my family. Thankfully we have essentially cut all ties with them and they are no longer involved in our lives (nor will they be involved in our kids' lives). Sometimes it's just best to cut ties and move on with life.

My bitchfest is that while I now finally own my own home (yay!), I cannot stay in my own home until Friday. Stupid non-pregnancy safe chemicals from renovations...  

Thankfully a friend is letting us crash at his house, which is just a short ways down the road. I just really wanted to sleep in my own home now that we have gotten cometely out of our old apartment.

hatrats

Ughh at the ridiculous gofundmes. I had a friend that literally set one up to buy himself a new bowling ball... A BOWLING BALL.

My bitchfest is stupid. Last time we told immediate families about my pregnancy at 10 weeks, after the 1st ultrasound, even though I wanted to wait after 1st tri (DH pushed me into it). Today we just had our 1st appt at 10 wks and DH is wanting to tell families again. I'll be 35 next month and will be going in for testing in the next 2-3 weeks and would rather wait until that happens for peace of mind. DH thinks I'm being crazy and he may be right. Has anybody else not told close family at that point? Am I being completely ridiculous wanting to wait a couple more weeks?

Jul768

My boss tells me today that I look tired and asks if I am feel ok.. Yes I am feeling ok and yes I am tired because my DH kept me awake all night with his snoring! I can't remember how many times I woke him up to roll over, only to be awaken again a short time later!

sarahufl

hatrats said:

Ughh at the ridiculous gofundmes. I had a friend that literally set one up to buy himself a new bowling ball... A BOWLING BALL.

My bitchfest is stupid. Last time we told immediate families about my pregnancy at 10 weeks, after the 1st ultrasound, even though I wanted to wait after 1st tri (DH pushed me into it). Today we just had our 1st appt at 10 wks and DH is wanting to tell families again. I'll be 35 next month and will be going in for testing in the next 2-3 weeks and would rather wait until that happens for peace of mind. DH thinks I'm being crazy and he may be right. Has anybody else not told close family at that point? Am I being completely ridiculous wanting to wait a couple more weeks?

I waited till 18 weeks last time and will probably do the same this time. I want to wait to tell our families in person  and they will be visiting late March/early April, so we want to wait till then anyway. But no, you aren't crazy.

wyomama0427

@hatrats no you aren't crazy! He should respect that you want to wait a few more weeks. 

childcaremama

@hatrats you are not crazy! I haven't told our families yet. We will this weekend at 13 weeks because of a big get together on each side. But I wish we could wait until the baby was born! 

childcaremama

My bitch fest is that my friend insists that ultrasounds are dangerous to babies. She didn't have one with her son. I had a very high risk pregnancy with my first and m had weekly ultrasounds once she was viable. She insists that they damage the babies hearing and damage the babies rapidly dividing cells. It feels like she is accusing me of putting my children in danger when I'm doing the opposite!!!

mercury94

@childcaremama That would drive me crazy. I hate when people tell me that I should/shouldn't do something when my doctor is telling me the opposite. Seriously, I'm going to listen the the licensed medical professional every time, thanks. 

hatrats

Thanks for making me feel less crazy peeps. I knew I could count on you.

@childcaremama I'm pretty sure your doctor knows more than your friend about ultrasounds. I know exactly 0 people who, since the dawn of ultrasounds, have had no ultrasound. And I know only one person whose child was born with hearing loss. Of course, in her case, it's genetic, so can't really point to ultrasounds on that one.

kaylaakosua

hatrats said:

 Has anybody else not told close family at that point? Am I being completely ridiculous wanting to wait a couple more weeks?

12 weeks and only sister knows (she's going to be the only one I miss moving out of country). Don't plan on telling people until May if I can get away with it. Well after our anatomy scan (April 28th)

labby18

@hatrats I'm 11wks 2 days. The only family that knows is my mom & dad and his mom & dad. But that is ONLY because DH has been gone since 2 days before my BFP at 3wks 6days, and I wanted my mom (who lives in VA) to be here during week 8 (when i have had 2 prev MC at and for the 1st U/S appointment) so I wouldn't be alone should the worse happen. His parents know because they live in Cali (we live in Florida), and he has been in California with military training and was able to meet up with them for dinner after the U/S appointment and tell them in person. Otherwise, no one would know until after 1st trimester. I haven't told my siblings - plus my brother's wife just had their daughter on Saturday so I'm not trying to cramp anyone's style. We are waiting until I am 13 weeks to tell the rest of close family via phone, and then 14 weeks for social media. 

mightymcqueen

@hatrats We're *hoping* to tell our families in person mid-late March (week 14-15), but we'll have to come up with an alternate plan if my husband's visa doesn't process in time. My husband and I agree that our families wouldn't be the best people to emotionally support us if there was a miscarriage, so we want to wait until things are more "established" in the pregnancy. 

ColoradoHiker

@hatrats You're not crazy!  Tell people whenever you want to do so.  DH and I told a very small group of people when we found out about DS, but it was only because we were getting ready to sign up for a major marathon, and my due date ended up being about a week before the marathon.  Other than that, and telling our parents/ immediate family around 8w, we didn't tell anyone until after my 12w NT scan.  We ended up telling a lot more people this time (same group as the first time, because we were actually at the marathon we'd planned the first time, in Disney, and I couldn't do the roller coasters or drink!), but I think I just feel more confident this time around.  Plus, I'm having a *much* harder time hiding the blump.