Dog to fill void? — The Bump

Dog to fill void?

I got yet another BFN this morning after our 2nd iui. I'm sooooo over this whole infertility bullshit! I'm seriously thinking about getting a dog to fill this void. Thoughts? 

Re: Dog to fill void?

  • I'm sorry about your BFN - the disappointing news is always difficult.  I have to say that this is not a good reason to commit to caring for an animal.  It is a huge commitment and a ton of work to adopt a dog, please don't make that decision impulsively because you are feeling down about a BFN.  
    BabyFruit Ticker

    TTC history in spoiler: 

    Me: 42
    DH: 41
    Married: 5/7/16
    TTC #1: May 2016
    IUI #1 10/31/16 - BFN
    IVF - ER #1 2/10 (3R, 3F, 1B for PGS - 0 viable for transfer)
    IVF - ER #2 3/24 (2R, 1F- 0 viable for transfer)
    IVF - ER #3 5/15 (1R- 0 viable for transfer)
    June 17: Starting the process for DE IVF
    Aug 17: Donor chosen! Anticipating a Nov cycle after testing is complete. 
    Nov 17: DE IVF ER 11/27 (35R, 19 F) Dec 2nd Transfer!
    Dec 12: BFP! EDD 8/20/18

  • @amanda_1182
    **TW** I experienced a 2nd trimester twin MC in May '15 **end TW** and two weeks after it happened we rescued our pup because I felt like I really just needed to take care of something. It is a lot of work but it was totally worth it and he was one of a few things that brought me true happiness during that dark time. He comforted me, preoccupied me and really saved me. I don't know your living or work situation but if both can accommodate a pet I highly recommend it, if those situations don't suit getting a puppy cats are much more low maintenance (I say this but I'm a dogs only person, lol).

    Note* When we got our pup we lived in a townhouse that didn't allow pets so my OB wrote me a not and we registered him as an Emotional Support Animal so housing restrictions don't apply to him. 

    This is Wyatt the rescue pup <3

    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • I'm sorry for your bfn. I already had a dog, my baby, she's 12 years old and I've had her since she was 8 weeks. After years on infertility and the fact that Maya is getting older, I decided we needed another lab. I clearly stated my reasoning was to fill a hole in my heart. My husband was supportive and we rescued a two year old chocolate lab, we named her Molly. Now, I volunteer for lab rescue (10+ years) and I've never kept one of my rescues. But this time, I could not allow Molls to stay in her situation (she actually never had a name - 2 years old!!!). So we brought her home. She's challenging - we had to send her to boot camp training which cost $4500 (more than IVF!), she's destroyed so many crates we had to buy a $1k military crate, and that was after she came back from training. However, she's the sweetest and most loving dog I've ever had. My Maya still isn't sure about her but they tolerate each other and now I can't imagine my life without my sweet girls. So, I encourage you to research and consider but make sure you are prepared that once you make the commitment, it's forever. There's already too many dogs neglected and adandoned. People think I'm crazy for dealing with Mollys challenges and spending so much money, but we committed and she's ours now, for the rest of her life she will have a loving home. 
    Me: 37 / Hubs: 42
    TTC: April 2013
    DOR: AMH .3 - 1.31 (it varies); FSH: 5.1
    Clinic NMCSD
    IUI #1 July/Aug 2016
    IVF #1 Sep/Oct Microdose Lupron Protocol - IVF cancelled only 1 follicle
    IVF #2 Feb/Mar Antagonist protocol w/estrogen priming - 0 eggs retrieved (empty follicle syndrome) 
    Donor Egg Cycle as soon as we find a match
  • My home currently has itself 5 furbabies in it. Between the dogs and my husband (full time 12 year old boy) I have been singling parenting a lot of needy babies a long time. I personally find that in addition to my own kids ( its a yours and mine situation BTW) I work with a dog rescue. The first step that I would suggest is working with a rescue directly, or with your town's local shelter. You will be helping MANY animals in need, while still having some level of control over your life and less expense. Let me give you an idea of basic animal care costs in my house. All my animals are rescues, one is a pure breed. I have never BOUGHT a pet, but I have both volunteered with rescues as well as paid adoption fees. I have 2 giant breeds and two medium and one large dog. I have excellent dog friendly neighbors(one who comes over and watches them if we are gone, or just hangs out and plays with them while we work) and very well behaved "kids". I have two sets of dog doors (the largest they make for my 220lb pure breed rescue Old English Mastiff (long haired) and my Pyrenees /golden retriever mix) then just a large sized one on the other side of the house for the other 3 smaller dogs (my husbands kids). I have two sets of automatic watering units (used for cattle- hooked up to a hose for unlimited water, attached to the side of my house) I have two sets of feeders, one about 18" off the ground for my giants, the other lower for the smaller dogs ( whenever getting a dog, its important to understand the breeds physiology- large and giant dogs must have food/water bowls at about the height of their elbow). Between the dog food and human fruit vegetables (about 10 lbs of raw fruits and veggies a week) and dog treats I spend about $200-250 a month feeding them. Grooming is done at home usually (Last year we bought very expensive clippers- but it was recouped with one trip to groomers not having to be paid). Fortunately, they are healthy animals so vet bills are just annual physical and vaccines. Which is about $65-75 per dog. I did do dog training with my two years ago. That was about $450 each- but a well behaved dog is well worth it- no matter what the size. My Pyr is getting old, Ill need to put him down soon, just cant deal with it just yet, I had him from 8 weeks on. He is my baby. Its hard to let go, they never live long enough. So, long story short, there is not just a wonderful emotional commitment, there is a very large and long term financial one too. And unfortunately, sooner rather then later, they leave us. Something one needs to think about. Also, if you do get pregnant, can you handle a dog who may have special needs or develop new needs once a baby comes along? Can you afford quality vet care and good dogs food as well as pediatric care and baby formula?  A pet is a commitment for life, its not fair to throw away a animal because a new family member comes along. Are you willing and able to do that? If your willing to help but not sure your ready for the full time commitment, helping with w/a rescue may be your best bet- just to get yourself ready anyway.
  • @amanda_1182 - Dogs are wonderful. I don't know enough about your life to know if you should commit, but I can honestly say that, for my husband and I, our dog is a lifeline.

    Like @laurad75 says, dogs are a big commitment and you don't want to make the decision impulsively. You're looking at a 15 year commitment (depending on the age of the dog) to care for something that will never be able to care for itself. When I got my dog, I was young - a lot of people thought I wasn't "responsible" enough for the commitment. They just didn't know me very well. A dog isn't more work/a bigger commitment than a baby, so if you're ready for a baby, you're probably ready for a dog - you just have to make sure you're the kind of person who can love a dog.

    You want to be careful to get a dog that fits with your lifestyle. When he was young, our guy needed a lot of exercise - far more than I could give him with my desk job - so I spent a fortune on dog walking. We've also had months where we've spent a fortune at the vet - and we have pet insurance! A couple of months ago, we thought he might have kidney stones. He's totally fine, but we spent like $200 on x-rays alone, which make me laugh when I look at them, seeing his little body (and now knowing they were totally unnecessary).

    If you've been on the fence about getting a dog for a while, though, now might be a great time. As much work and as expensive as our guy has been, he's given us way more than we've given him - there is no way we can ever repay him. Our actual baseline levels of happiness are higher with him in our lives. Our IF has been hard, but it's not been our first challenge - my husband suffered a mild brain injury early on in our relationship, and his recovery was very painful. When everything is great, we love having a dog - he makes us laugh with his little grunts and goofy personality. But when everything is awful, he reminds us of what's really important, and makes our challenges a little more bearable.

    Good luck with your decision!

    @SoonToBeMommaHowe - Wyatt is so cute!
    @mandasand - we have a lab too. We love the breed - they can be a handful, but they're adorable.

    Me: 34 DH: 35
    TTC #1 since Nov 2015.
    dx: unexplained
    Dec 2016 - Apr 2017 - IUI + clomid x 4 - all BFN
    July 2017 - IVF#1 - 4 frozen embryos, medical freeze
    Oct 2017 - D&C
    Nov 2017 - Apr 2018 - 3x FET - all BFN
    Sep 2018 - IVF#2 w PGS - 3 frozen normal embryos
    Nov 2018 - FET #4 - BFP

  • I adore my dog and can't imagine our lives without him!


    we have a 3.5 year old and I'm so glad we had our dog before her, he had a great routine and is best buds with my daughter. Plus I had the time to do training etc before having kids. He was 6 by the time my daughter was born, not a puppy full of energy so it also helped the transition when my daughter came home.

    just be cautious with knowing you WILL have a baby. Some breeds or some rescue dogs had lived in circumstances where they need extra training or should live in a home with no kids, but most shelters are upfront. but with proper training and love, it could be a great thing to keep your mind occupied. Just know it's a long commitment and that you really want this, but I'm so grateful for my pup dog :)
  • Hello!  I agree with a lot of what people already said!  I have two dogs--a siberian husky who is 8 and a sheltie mix who is 5.  They are seriously my life and my babies!  I've had them since before I even met my husband.  I feel like they fill a void everyday for me, but I had them long before TTC.  It's a tough call--if you want a dog for other reasons too and it fits into your lifestyle and finances-go for it.  If it's only to fill a void, don't do it.  My dogs are VERY VERY high maintenance.  My mom helps immensely with walking/ exercising them when I'm at work.  They are super spoiled, so of course that adds to their neediness lol.  Every time I go to the vet I swear I spend about $200 per dog per visit...and it adds up with their allergies and ear issues.  My one dog is on anti-anxiety meds.  They are a HUGE commitment, but for me, I love every second of having them.  I've always been a huge dog person :)  I think you need to do what's best for you, but remember that dogs need FOREVER homes! :)  

    By the way, how do you post photos on here??
    Me: 32, DH: 40
    Married: July 2015
    July 2016: IVF #1 (froze embryos)
    Aug. 2016: Hysteroscopy to remove a few polyps & Laparoscopy
    Oct. 2016: FET #1 BFN
    Nov. 2016: FET #2 BFP (ended in CP)
    March 2017: IVF #2 Fresh Transfer of 2 Blasts = BFP!!! (EDD: 11/27/17)
    Froze 5 Blasts
    DS born on 11/2/17!!!  I was induced due to Pre-eclampsia, but baby is perfect <3

  • This is my sweet angel Lexi. I've had her since she was 7 weeks old and she's now 7. She is my baby and she may be the closest thing I have to a child. She is my family! 

  • Here are my babies!!!  Tucker & Sadie <3
    Me: 32, DH: 40
    Married: July 2015
    July 2016: IVF #1 (froze embryos)
    Aug. 2016: Hysteroscopy to remove a few polyps & Laparoscopy
    Oct. 2016: FET #1 BFN
    Nov. 2016: FET #2 BFP (ended in CP)
    March 2017: IVF #2 Fresh Transfer of 2 Blasts = BFP!!! (EDD: 11/27/17)
    Froze 5 Blasts
    DS born on 11/2/17!!!  I was induced due to Pre-eclampsia, but baby is perfect <3

  • Awww you all have such cute puppies! Thank you for all of your responses. I think at this point (while we're actively going through infertility treatments) a dog probably isn't the best idea. But if we are unable to have children, I will definitely be adopting a fur baby! 
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