Libido — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Libido

Kind of embarrassing to post about this, but anyone having issues with low libido since giving birth? My LO just weaned from breastfeeding and I'm taking the minipill. I thought the breastfeeding was to blame, but 2 weeks later, I still have zero sex drive. I feel so bad for my hubby!! Anyone else experiencing this or have any advice? 
l4rkkodariah

Re: Libido

  • Omg yes. I have no interest in sex. I'm still breastfeeding and also on the mini pill.  I'm glad you posted this because I have been considering doing so for awhile but was also feeling a bit embarrassed by it. My SO has started doing... ahem...things...in his sleep, probably because he just isn't getting any from me. But even knowing that, I still can't rally. Every time I consider it it's 100% for him and I still don't want to bother. Sigh...
  • Me. I formula fed since day 1, and still have no sex drive. I push my self to do it for hubby, he never complains about lack of sex, but I know I need to do it. I think a lot has to do with the physical and mental exhaustion being with the baby all day. Mines so busy!! I don't know how to get it back.. 
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  • Yes!  I also formula fed since day one and still  have no desire to have sex. It's an exhausting day and once my husband is home from work I'm beat and just don't have the energy. Then I gotta shave and that's also exhausting lol 
  • Same boat. I have absolutely zero sex drive. I'm sure part of mine is the Mirena, but still. I'm just exhausted in every way. I don't think SO understands how hard it is to be home all day, every day with 2 toddlers (including a nonverbal 2 year old). By the time the kids go to bed, I want sleep and nothing else (except maybe ice cream... or wine). I feel awful for SO because he craves sex all day, every day.

    ...and I have no clue what to do about it. 
  • So glad to know I am not alone! I have felt this way for ages. Only recently (in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy) have I felt any return of my sex drive-- and that lasted a day or two. Maybe after all the hormones are back to normal? No BF, no mini pill, no nothing? I had no idea it lasted this long postpartum. 
  • It makes sense though. If you look at the core purpose of having sex--to reproduce--it makes sense that our bodies would naturally chill out when we are raising babies. Maybe low sex drive is a survival mechanism. Our offspring have a better chance of survival if our attention isn't divided until they can fend for themselves a little better...
  • Consider a few things: First, breastfeeding tends to lower libido in many women. Additionally, you have someone needing you 24/7, touching you, pulling on you, demanding from you. I know for me, I am just tapped out. I love baby, and love her snuggles, but nobody else freaking touch me. I am not kidding. I'm touched out, and tapped out. In my case, too, because I've been handling everything on my own, but also dealing with a husband that is less than stellar, I feel like my body is the one thing I still have control over. This was a hot topic in our couples counseling before I decided to leave, and even the counselor agreed that at the end of the day, moms just don't have a lot left for intimacy.
  • I'm with everyone here too. I honestly think we have only had sex a few times she since was born! Between no drive or energy, I also am still super unhappy with my body after the baby so that certainly doesn't help. Poor SO... 
  • Same boat no longer breastfeeding and no birth control but just don't desire it like my husband does. Partially because I had second degree tears down there with stitches so it still isn't always that comfortable for me and he usually tears me (tmi) when doing it. We have done it we would like to try for another baby but it's defiantly not like when we were ready for our first we were doing it all the time. He also just started thirds so he sleeps all day and then is gone at night so that's not going to help he tried to wake me up to do it this morning but I wasn't for that. I am a full time stay at home mom with no help from hubby so I can relate to just wanting to lay down and relax and have me time when baby goes to bed. He also always wants to do a million positions and with it still not feeling great for me I just want to do it and get it over with that sounds so bad but I'm usually sucking up the pain so he can get pleasure. I hope eventually we can get back to a better routine and I can enjoy my husband.
  • Yeah I hate the thought of having to have sex. I enjoying it once I'm in to it but it feels like a chore, and being in my second trimester with #2 I dont have the energy either. It's the number one source of contention between me and my DH. I'm over the fight about it but I'm honestly not sure how to get a drive back. 
  • You might also have your hormones checked out. It turns out that I am already going through menopause at age 33, which completely kills the sex drive. I have no hormones. None. My doctor is talking about hormone replacement therapy. It started after my first was born and we weaned at 1 year. I'm having the same issues with our second. Yes, it could be the fact that we are so touched out that the idea of sex is repugnant, but there could be other issues that need to be checked out. If your sex drive doesn't bounce back after about 6 months past weaning, please get checked out!
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  • I'm sorry y'all are dealing with it too!!! I'm so glad it seems to unfortunately be normal. Hopefully the further out we get from giving birth, the better our libido will be. Until we get pregnant again haha. Sorry hubbies!!! 

    @ariasbabyblog I will definitely get my hormones checked out of it continues for a few more months. Thanks for the suggestion!
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