A not so quick intro on my situation:
In Feb 2015 I had a chemical pregnancy, my first pregnancy, and then was able to conceive our daughter very easily 2 cycles later (May 2015). I gave birth end of January 2016 and breastfed my daughter for 6 months with absolutely NO fertility during that time. I stopped breastfeeding end of July 2016 to start TTC #2 and I believe that I started ovulating in July or August. I got pregnant in October and has another chemical pregnancy and since then I haven't been able to conceive. My husband keeps telling me I'm being impatient, and maybe I am, but I'm just so let down and sad about all of this.
I started temping 3 months ago, I do OPKs and have every month since August, I have had blood work done to make sure I don't have a clotting problem, I take baby aspirin and prenatal vitamins every day, I have cut out almost all drinking (still a glass of wine a few nights a month), I took Robituson this cycle, I've taken an iron supplement, I had an HSG in January, I did my first round of femara this month- I ovulate on my own according to OPK- (low dose 2.5mg CD 3-7) and I ovulated later than normal! My OB said that if I don't conceive this month she will up my dosage- which makes me believe she thinks I won't conceive with late ovulation. I keep trying not to stress out, but that's easier said than done. All and all, I've been TTC for 8 cycles. I'm 33 and starting to stress about time- I'd like to get pregnant again and have two more babies before 35.
My husband keeps telling me that I need to relax and that the doctor says nothing is wrong, all my tests have come back fine. He hasn't been tested at all because we have conceived 3 times- so he doesn't have to do anything at all.
I told him I want to start discussing IUI soon, so we can at least be prepared if it comes down to that and he isn't even open to that because "we haven't been trying that long, and wanting a child "for me" is selfish and that isn't what God intended and the world doesn't owe me another baby so I need to stop thinking about it like that". I keep reminding him that I'm not getting any younger and that these are things we need to decide on, because if not we need to start the adoption process because I really want my daughter to have sibling.
Do I sound like a total basket case? Because I feel like yes, I have anxiety about this, but that I'm trying to think ahead in case I truly can't have another baby naturally. And I do realize how lucky I am to have my daughter and I am so grateful for her every day. I realize the world doesn't owe me anything, especially not another baby, but that doesn't make me want one any less. That doesn't make me sad to watch all these milestones my daughter is having and wonder if this will be the last time I get to experience them. I don't know..
I'm just looking for someone to talk to who understands, I guess.