Cross post from MC&Loss board:So angry right now

rainafire77

Just found out the results of my recurring loss blood work and I do have a clotting issue. The doctor will give me more info at my post d&c appt (2 weeks post op because her scheduling clerk is a f***ing idiot and didn't put me on the schedule until I reminded her that I needed a post op appointment.) but I am so angry right now. I brought up clotting issues when I got pregnant this time and asked about taking a baby aspirin and the Dr recommended against it, thinking that my last MC was a fluke. Now I'm realizing that I was right and, more than likely, had I been on aspirin or Lovenox it's highly probable I wouldn't have lost this baby. I can't wait to be done with this doctor and her incompetent dismissive staff. And I won't be able to let go of the guilt that I should have just followed my gut and taken the baby aspirin no matter what she said. 

RiverSong15

I'm so sorry @rainafire77. You definitely deserve compassionate care. If it makes you feel better, my doctor also didn't want to recommend baby aspirin after one loss, but said it couldn't hurt to try it only after my second loss. It's standard of care, as long as you don't have any reason to suspect a clotting issue. Testing for me showed no clotting issues, but we'll try aspirin anyway. What I'm trying to say, is that you shouldn't beat yourself up in hindsight. You were doing the best you could with the information you had and the guidance of an expert (a doctor). Your loss is not your fault. Hugs. I hope your next Doctor isn't a Twatasaurus like your old one.

vlagrl29

I'm so sorry that happened. Please do not blame yourself although I do understand the need to. I'm so glad you are done with that doctor and have found a much better one. Hugs!

babypi

I'm so sorry that your doctor didn't take your concerns seriously. Please don't blame yourself, you were following your doctor's advice. Your loss is not your fault. 

Mack2342

I'm so sorry.  I agree that you were going by advice of so called expert.  It's not your fault.  Hugs to you

justsuzie

So sorry. That sucks big time. Can you get your files sent to a new dr do you don't even have to look at this asswipe again? 

TScalei

Im so sorry - RPL testing found that I have a clotting issue so I will need to be on Lovenox once I get pg again. My OB practice was the same way seeming to think that mcs were just bad luck and nothing you can do to prevent it. I really hate that mindset.

rainafire77

@TScalei That's why we women who have lost pregnancies need to speak up more. I'm glad it's coming to light but so many people are encouraged to keep silent so as not to hurt others and often out of shame. Maybe if it becomes seen as an actual medical condition, women will be taken more seriously and treated properly rather than being ignored.

Uhlease13

I'm so sorry @rainafire77 it's so hard to let go of guilt, but please be kind to yourself. And I hope you find a new doctor that truly listens to your concerns. Hugs  

dpjennifer

Sorry @rainafire77 I hope your new OB is a much better fit for you.  MC is hard enough, especially RPL, without having incompetence to deal with.

NYTino24

@rainafire77 I am mad for you and can definitely commiserate. I told my OB office I had a blood disorder and they didn't care, making me wait until 8 weeks for an appointment. I MC at 7w5d after having the RPL done while KU and having 8 slightly abnormal tests. Now I'm seeing the MFM  Tuesday at 8dpo and in wondering if I should wait until after I see them to take baby aspirin. It could be too late or it could mess with bloodwork. They briefly discussed having me take that and Lovenox but wanted to do more testing and wouldn't have me start while I was already bleeding. Part of me hopes they do BW that day and tell me if I'm KU or not before I would be likely to turn a test. Anyway, they moved this appointment up two weeks after waiting since the first week of Jan. That original appointment would be 12 weeks since the last RPL panel, which is the minimum time you need to repeat it. We shall see what they will do.