necessity of the feedbacks

heavysnow

Hey there, 
I'm new on ths forum and want to share my story. I was ttc for the couples of years. I couldn’t do it naturally so we tried oe ivf in our country but it didn't work. Our next step was de conception but we failed 2 cycles again. Because of many attempts of ivf I have bad health condition. The doctor told me that I can't be stimulated any more in addition I have poor ovarian reserve so it's impossible to have babies. She told that I have no chances to be a mother and adoption is for us, because a surrogacy is forbidden in our country. But we don't want to give up. As far as I know not so many countries allow surrogacy. So, I'm here in order to find any good words and maybe some experiences, positive and bad all are good to me. I really want to know your feedback about clinics you've been. Thank you in advance

Patti

I'm aware of what is that having no any chance to become a mom except the surrogacy. In the same shoes, honey! I understand you clearly and know how it’s hard to cope with this.

We have just a beginning of our journey in the Ukrainian clinic. But it’s also a great experience cause sometimes the first steps are the most difficult to be made. We felt we could no longer have doubts and hesitation, this was only pointless jogging around one place.  

We had discarded the dubious options, and have chosen the one direction. According to the people’s reviews biotex the clinic was the most available, reasonable and affordable variant in our case.

So we have applied to them. Than visited Kiev, firstly, learned all points of their contract and signed one of the packages they supply.  Easy to write about this in short. There were many different details. You can ask if you have an interest. Maybe it may be useful. I hope. 

gwinnyblack

not so many countries although there are still a lot of options available. you can basically point on a country and there will be a clinic ready to help you with your issues. but of course if the law system of the country allows surrogacy at all. 
for me there was a small problem just to find a clinic that would give me an option to choose a donor. and while I was looking for it basically I have read a lot about surrogacy too. just like surrogacy egg donation is not allowed everywhere so we are in the same boat.
but for you it is a bit harder bc at least in my clinic they have like 2 conditions that have to be fulfilled, without them you won't even be taken into the program. but for egg donation ivf they are not that strict. 
anyways. ask me everything! I am here to help. 

heavysnow

thank you for such encouraging words. I don't know what to start with. I was talking about de surrogacy. I can't get pregnant and that's awful. My devastation has no bounds, we don't know where we will go. The one thing I want is to have a baby. 
what kind of conditions? Could you be so kind and tell me about your journey? where have you started your reproductive treatment? Sorry, but what are you suffering from, I mean the infertility issue? I would be grateful if you start from the very beginning... 

heavysnow

Patti said:

I'm aware of what is that having no any chance to become a mom except the surrogacy. In the same shoes, honey! I understand you clearly and know how it’s hard to cope with this.

We have just a beginning of our journey in the Ukrainian clinic. But it’s also a great experience cause sometimes the first steps are the most difficult to be made. We felt we could no longer have doubts and hesitation, this was only pointless jogging around one place.  

We had discarded the dubious options, and have chosen the one direction. According to the people’s reviews biotex the clinic was the most available, reasonable and affordable variant in our case.

So we have applied to them. Than visited Kiev, firstly, learned all points of their contract and signed one of the packages they supply.  Easy to write about this in short. There were many different details. You can ask if you have an interest. Maybe it may be useful. I hope. 

Thanks dear, I appreciate your sharing. Well, you told your clinic in Ukraine, yes? How did you find it? what were your criteria? Tell me about their services, please. What documents should be send to them? Because I'm not a professional in this field, thank you in advance..

minerva17

hello heavysnow. i'm so sorry for your health issues. infertility is always a tragedy. fortunately, there is no absolute infertility, and even if your body isn't ready for baby delivery or even for egg retrieval, you can try adoption or surrogacy. I don't know much about surrogacy, I'm new to infertility and underwent just one cycle of ivf and it worked from the very first attempt. however, the clinic i'm with deals with surrogacy for sure. it's called biotexcom, maybe you'll find something interesting for you on their website, there are their contracts and contact phone numbers. wish you all the best on your journey, dear xxx

Patti

As for surrogacy they provide us with 3 types of the contract packages. Your choice depends on your financial ability.  Considering service inclusions of each package and prices we have chosen the middle one. Called the standard. 

I found out about them from health unlocked indeed. First I had conversations with their alive clients ( de ivf and surrogacy on de) I’ve collected much info about concerned things. Then I’ve personally written to their manager.

In any case you’ll be retested there. But better to send them your copy of marriage certificate and your husband’s blood tests in case if you gonna go through DE procedures. 

heavysnow

thanks dear, biotexcom, where is it? I was advised on other forum to pay attention to europe. honestly, I don't know much about clinics there. Can you tell me more about your clinic? When you were there? How long have you waited for a surrogate, as far as I know It takes some time, am I right?

heavysnow

Come hell or high water we would be the best parents in the world. 
Could you do me a favour? Can you tell me about packages they have and of course the prices? You told you chose the standard, what does it mean? Why is it so special and what options are included in it? Thank you in advance..

minerva17

It's in Ukraine, in Kiev to be precise. The clinic is good, their services are great, managers and doctors are attentive and caring, they are ready to answer all your questions. I was there in the end of January, but I had ET, its just an IVF, not surrogacy.

heavysnow

nice, sounds very good. Probably I will look onto their website. Biotexcom, yes? 

Patti

do you know? How long need we wait for our surrogate? I got an answer on this question before but I want to get confirmation. Perhaps It seems easy to wait for something, sitting at home, but in fact it’s a hard work not to have a possibility to make anything quicker. 

We couldn’t choose our surrogate mom and I understand the reasonableness of this, don’t say anything against, I was happy to select our donor. can you say anything? Thank you 

gwinnyblack

oh sorry for some reason I haven't seen you reply and thought you never replied to me. well, the conditions are that you must have a letter from your dr saying that you cannot carry a child and you have to be married. I think that I was talking about it.. well although it was not too long ago I have forgotten completely about commenting on your thread 
well, how are you doing?
I am on stim right now with my egg donor. 

heavysnow

no, I was advised to pay attention to this clinic. To my mind it depends on each clinic. As far as I know, some can find a surrogate in 2 months, other ask you to wait more. I don't want to confuse you with my words. I can be mistaken. The one thing I know we will look for a clinic in europe. 
why you couldn't choose the surrogate? is it a matter of privacy or what?
our previous attempts were horrible, we didn't have a chance to choose a donor, they told us they have donor eggs and that's all. 

heavysnow

we are good, thank you. How are you feeling? how's your stimulation? Is it your first time? have you already started taking cocs or you moved further? Did you have your first scan? As far as I understood, you chose ed conception, but why, sorry, I don't want to hurt you with my questions..

Patti

As far as I understand you didn’t deal with any donor database. That’s strange. We wouldn’t apply to the clinic if we knew they had no dynamical donors list. Really we didn’t want to pass through the surrogacy on frozen eggs. our opportunity to select relevant donor became maybe the main occasion to be agreed to keep on our cooperation. In deed there is a perfect rich base to choose in biotex. I think every couple which needs de can find suitable variant. 

Why we didn’t choose the surrogate? Hmm as the Dr had told we didn’t need to choose her. Her role was important but not essential for our future child. I mean she wouldn’t be geneticaly related to our baby, just carry. And the only thing we needed to think about was her heath. But that condition was guaranteed by the clinic.

heavysnow

honestly, we don't want to adopt a child. I want to have my own baby with my blood and bones but I understand it is impossible for us. The only parent who can be related to our baby is my husband. But it has no matter to me. I'm ready to struggle with all these. 
Well, the clinic we were writing for didn't gave us an access to a donor database because i didn't ask about it. Frankly speaking, I didn't email the clinic you've been writing about so I can't say much about it. probably, I will email them as soon as my husband will be back home. 

Patti

I’d be pleased to make you gladder by the news. My clinic has opportunity to supply with fresh cell materials. They have a wide – rich base, you’ll be able to get access to use this base for the selection. You can see a very good field for choice there.

I can feel your concerns I’m in the same shoes with you. No ability to send my blood and genes to my baby, but my dear husb can do it, and this makes me happy.

heavysnow

hi, how are you? 
I wish I could have a baby who is genetically related to me. unfortunately, I can't, Gosh it makes me crazy. 
I have some updates, I googled the clinic I was advised to.  biotex, if I’m not mistaken, it seems like they have pretty good services. As I understood they have 3 types of packages for those who want to apply for the surrogacy. I'm curious, have you been in the same clinic?

Patti

heavysnow

Hallo, I’m really Ok, I thought you knew that I cooperate with it. You’re not mistaken they really offer three types of service packages for such couples as ours.

I have been in this clinic and if I am able to give an answer you'd be free to ask me. And listen, dear.

You have already started your search, it’s the beginning of the long road. Don’t let your concerns make you disorganized, you should keep yourself calm in your mind and mood.  

heavysnow

thanks, how are you?
sorry, probably I missed your words. 
let me ask, what kind of package did you choose? what was the main reason for that? what are the differences between them? as far as I understood only in price, am I right? 
one more, in case we come to ukraine at night will the driver meet us at the airport and where will we live during our first visit.
looking forward for your reply

Patti

heavysnow

 

We’re owners of the Standard package. the middle one completely has suited our requirements. We haven’t been discussing for too long, the standard seemed suitable at once.

What were our demands? Hmm i even  will not give a certain response. You can look through our chosen package you’ll see the advantages which tempted us.

Because it gives us all necessary we need and even more (we know we’ll be safe)

And the main benefits for example from the economy package are related to the child bearing and possible setbacks during this term. These are that the clinic covers all expenses related to the premature birth or compensation to the SM.

I think it’s the most balanced choice we could make.

heavysnow

I've look through all packages they have and all of them provides clients with everything they needed like interpreter, transportation, food and accommodation. btw, you didn't give an answer to me about place of staying during the first consultation. tell please about it. 
also, I'm curious in documents we have to send them. As far as I understood there is a set of them, and they depend on treatment we'll choose, yes? I'm confused a bit with all these. if I already have a scan of all my test results could I just send it to them?

Patti

heavysnoW

Well, they really guarantee the place of accommodation (the area depends on the package you choose) certainly – food and driver to the appointment and other necessary destinations. That’s right! 

How do the accommodations differ? I can’t answer correctly just because I trial only the one type of package. in general it’s not big hotel room with facilities in case of ECON, bigger room or the personal apartment how we have in case of Standard, and perhaps a barn with golden toilets if you are the vip persons, I’m actually joking. 

heavysnow

haha, the golden toilets
but will you do in case your surrogate wants to be your friend? what will you do ?
p.s. sorry about personal question but what was the reason for a surrogacy with donor eggs? why did you decided that is the best option for you?
what do you think about adoption? why you didn't opt for this?

Patti

heavysnow

If! 

(but I really don’t see a necessity of that, because it’s a business and she is a party of this agreement) 

So If she wants to become our friend this wish possibly will include the further desire to see our baby, I don’t know. Ok! If it’s so, we’ll reconsider this opportunity. 

But in cold professional way we suppose that every partner must be on the specific place and do all according to the documents. 

We never protested about child adoption. It’s a very noble act! We respect it. But such was our decision.

heavysnow

It makes sense now, thank you!
So, you made up your mind for a surrogacy and that's all from you, right?
Every person is willing to choose whatever she or he wants, I have no right to judge you!
We decided to opt for a surrogacy process because of the reasons and we will reach our goal at all hazards!!

Patti

I find an interesting aspect. I always see different stories from the women who are really in the different level of preparation and understanding of that question. 

Some of them understand all details of further steps and expectations. Other ones don’t know anything. 

They all want to do something but have no hint what to do. Sometimes they aren’t aware of surrogacy as the method at all, sometimes they even think about surrogacy like it's a treatment out of science fiction books. 

Because diseases and misfortunes don’t make their choice regarding to the specific person they grab all randomly. 

heavysnow

and what is my level of the preparation haha? 
Honestly I don't know what is to be next because I just collect other people feedbacks and that's it. My husband tells I'm weak and can't take any decisions by myself but it's not true. Here I can be strong, I speak with other women who have experienced infertility issues and they are open to me. I'm free to ask whatever I want and I can be sure they'll answer me. 

 may I ask a question? 
How did you come to all these? How you overcame yourself and became so strong? It seems you speak very easy about your journey, I'm wondering, how it could be? 

Patti

It just seems so. the real things differ from how that seems. I’m the same weak and vulnerable girl which has been aging without children beside me. 

I felt very bad due to approaching decisions. I couldn’t find even a grain of power for making decisions. 

I wanted someone else to come and decide instead of me. 

But days later I became ripe to overcome it. I can easy speak only about the things I’ve already lived through. 

How are you now what the news?