UO Thursday 12/16

starphish18

We don't have a UO thread yet today? Bring it!

starphish18

I'll start us off with one I know a lot of you disagree with. I don't like all the headbands on baby girls.

pshaortao

@starphish18 I tried to get into headbands and I just couldn't. I did buy a few nb headbands and they ended up being too small because DHs noggin ended up being 95+%. So we used a couple only for a minute here or there for pictures and that was it.

For anybody wondering, her head was 70ish% at birth instead of 95, my vagina thank god.

bacorrea

I like headbands but not like when the bow/flower is the size of YOUR BABY'S HEAD! 

bacorrea

Ok this stems from military life I think. I totally
undstand being in an emergency and needed someone to watch your kid. However, I would not ask a TOTAL STRANGER to babysit my kids and not for less than minimum wage.

For instance someone just posted they need a sitter this week for about 7hrs a day for 3 days and they will pay $100. That's $4.76 a hour. No. I pay at least $10-$12 a hour and would expected to
be paid the same. 

WombThereItIs

No bows or headbands for this kid! Even the little ones, just not my thing. 

SKZW

@bacorrea: it's not just a military thing! I've come across those scenarios myself, and I always think "this is your child and you're not paying a premium for their safety?!"

vrj0522

bacorrea said:

Ok this stems from military life I think. I totally
undstand being in an emergency and needed someone to watch your kid. However, I would not ask a TOTAL STRANGER to babysit my kids and not for less than minimum wage.

For instance someone just posted they need a sitter this week for about 7hrs a day for 3 days and they will pay $100. That's $4.76 a hour. No. I pay at least $10-$12 a hour and would expected to
be paid the same. 

I mostly agree with this although in reality as a sahm, sometimes the extra money can be an incentive if you can have your kids with you. I have never done it but I have been tempted to take up such jobs since they are short and temporary.

bacorrea

I mean when DH and I were first married and I was having a hard time finding a job, I thought about it. Seriously though everyone that had posted want ads on Care.com were giving weekly rates that added up to less than $5 a hour! I ended up going to work at Chick-fil-A where I was getting $9 something. I mean why would I watch your kid for less than $5 when even McDonalds has to pay me minimum. 

Don't get me wrong I watch my friend's kids ALL the time and for free. I generally will help you out. I just mean the whole stranger aspect. It blows my mind. 

nda_roxybabe

Mmm, Chickfila...

starphish18

nda_roxybabe said:

Mmm, Chickfila...

A Chick-fil-a is opening near us. I've never been there before, but I think that's about to change...

hp_momma

bacorrea said:

Ok this stems from military life I think. I totally
undstand being in an emergency and needed someone to watch your kid. However, I would not ask a TOTAL STRANGER to babysit my kids and not for less than minimum wage.

For instance someone just posted they need a sitter this week for about 7hrs a day for 3 days and they will pay $100. That's $4.76 a hour. No. I pay at least $10-$12 a hour and would expected to
be paid the same. 

The amount of "I need someone to watch my kid tomorrow" posts on our bases FB page baffles me. I can't fathom just picking some stranger off the Internet to watch my kid, and it's always for some cheap amount too. 

vrj0522

starphish18 said:

nda_roxybabe said:

Mmm, Chickfila...

A Chick-fil-a is opening near us. I've never been there before, but I think that's about to change...

We go there regularly for lunch so that the kids can play in the kid area because the food is so much better than McDonald's... which I guess is my UO. I think McDonald's is disgusting.

SKZW

vrj0522 said:

starphish18 said:

nda_roxybabe said:

Mmm, Chickfila...

A Chick-fil-a is opening near us. I've never been there before, but I think that's about to change...

We go there regularly for lunch so that the kids can play in the kid area because the food is so much better than McDonald's... which I guess is my UO. I think McDonald's is disgusting.

My UO: Nope nope nope. We have boycotted Chick-fil-a for years. They have a policy, and are unashamed to admit it, that they don't hire single mothers. The CEO has said they need to stay home taking care of their kids. As if working & making a living isn't providing care for one's kids. It's appalling.

vrj0522

SKZW said:

vrj0522 said:

starphish18 said:

nda_roxybabe said:

Mmm, Chickfila...

A Chick-fil-a is opening near us. I've never been there before, but I think that's about to change...

We go there regularly for lunch so that the kids can play in the kid area because the food is so much better than McDonald's... which I guess is my UO. I think McDonald's is disgusting.

My UO: Nope nope nope. We have boycotted Chick-fil-a for years. They have a policy, and are unashamed to admit it, that they don't hire single mothers. The CEO has said they need to stay home taking care of their kids. As if working & making a living isn't providing care for one's kids. It's appalling.

Wait, how are single mothers supposed to support their family if they are at home with the kids? 

SKZW

Right? The logic is mind-boggling.

And to infuse that way of thinking down the line throughout a company is just bad business.

ShadeofGreen816

SKZW said:

vrj0522 said:

starphish18 said:

nda_roxybabe said:

Mmm, Chickfila...

A Chick-fil-a is opening near us. I've never been there before, but I think that's about to change...

We go there regularly for lunch so that the kids can play in the kid area because the food is so much better than McDonald's... which I guess is my UO. I think McDonald's is disgusting.

My UO: Nope nope nope. We have boycotted Chick-fil-a for years. They have a policy, and are unashamed to admit it, that they don't hire single mothers. The CEO has said they need to stay home taking care of their kids. As if working & making a living isn't providing care for one's kids. It's appalling.

This is something I didn't know about. I know their track record with the LGBT community, but can't find anything about this policy of theirs. Would you mind finding something about this? I'd be interested to read how they get around this legally.

SKZW

I knew someone would call me out on this...   ... but here's a place to start, and it links to a related Forbes article. This one's dated from 2012 (5 years went by fast!):
https://www.facingsouth.org/2012/08/chick-fil-as-history-of-workplace-discrimination

And read this quick summary here (if you scroll down to where it says Boycott Click "Cluck"):
https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/stasi-shout-out-single-moms-mother-day-article-1.2628715

I'm sure there's more. Happy reading!

SKZW

@ShadeofGreen816: from the first link, here's a piece addressing how this falls under the purview of legality:

"The parent company also asks people who apply for operator licenses to disclose their marital status, number of dependents, and involvement in community, civic, social, church and professional organizations.

Federal law does not prohibit employers from asking potential hires questions about religion and marital status during interviews, and companies have even wider latitude in approving franchisees."


Which is a gray area?? Because I thought some of those things were NOT allowed to be directly asked about?!

ShadeofGreen816

I think I may have a real, legit UO. 

I tend to have a "hands off" kind of attitude about regulation/government (I have a bit of Libertarian in me). But, I think that a private company has every right to have any kind of policy they want about who they will/will not serve. In no way would I endorse this (I am going to have to research/think a little about Chick Fil-A because I love it there! ). And in general, I think it's poor business practice. And generally shows you're possibly an a**hole. 
This should go without saying, but obviously it is acceptable for this info to be well publicized by anyone (company itself or someone who was refused service) and I support people boycotting a business that doesn't have policies they agree with. And I would hope that bigoted businesses/business owners would go out of business. Just not sure that anyone should be *required* to do anything, even if it makes them a jerk.

kns1988

UO: I don't think money needs to be so secretive. I used to talk pretty openly about it with friends and family, but it made DH super uncomfortable and I finally realized it's a taboo topic for a lot of people. But it's such a big part of life! I get that you don't want to brag about your salary, but if someone asks how much I pay for rent or whatever, I don't see what the big deal is. 

kns1988

@ShadeofGreen816, I've had this debate a few times, and I can see your point, but what it comes down to for me is that you shouldn't be able to refuse service to protected classes (LGBT, minorities, etc). If you want to refuse service to someone who's just acting like a dick, then go ahead, but if we allowed people to refuse service based on race or sexual orientation, I don't think we ever would have left the Jim Crow era. 

ShadeofGreen816

@kns1988 I actually really do agree with you. I feel pretty conflicted over the issue personally. But when in doubt, I usually fall to the side of the line of "well, if they want to be an a-hole, they can. I just won't go there, and I doubt other people will want to either."

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

I like McD's about 2x a year.  Their french fries are so good.

I don't like Chickfil-a.  I think their chicken is too sweet.  Raising Cane's all the way.

I'm super liberal and love a good Trump/conservative bashing.  But I feel weird about companies taking a political stance on a lot of things.  When I heard Nordstroms was dropping Ivanka's bags I felt like it was a bit of a marketing ploy.  I don't want companies trying to cater to my political beliefs - it seems cheap. At the same time, I love that Nordstroms sales spiked after Trump called them out (which obvi I think is BS too).  I'd rather choose based on whether I like their product and/or disagree with whatever stance they take on stuff.  Even if I liked Chick Fil-A, I'd probably not go there based on the LGBT history.  You take a stance, I'll  boycott you with my business.

SKZW

@ShadeofGreen816: I understand the dilemma. I really do. I am also in the frame of mind of "if they are going to be an a-hole, then good for them, let them do it, let them go out of business." That said, there's a difference between being an a-hole on occasion and having an ongoing practice of discrimination in business against your customers. That's exactly why regulations exist in the first place: to protect the little guy.

If I own a restaurant and don't want to do business with a certain group of people, and make it really uncomfy for them to be there, and train all the other employees to do so too... with zero recourse for those discriminated against... where does it end? People can't get the food, housing, clothing, education that they want? That they are barred at the door without even being able to try? You see what I mean? I totally get that gov't regulations seem to go to the extreme (and I bet there's a lot I don't personally agree with... like, if you're an ex-pat living elsewhere, you still have to pay U.S. income taxes?!)... but we have to keep in mind the slippery slope... that if we give an inch, those a-holes will take a mile. And those quieter voices go unheard.

SKZW

Of course, it's your UO, and this is the perfect forum to air that, and I respect that. Truly 

kns1988

I have to go to other month boards to get my drama fix because we have literally none. 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

kns1988 said:

I have to go to other month boards to get my drama fix because we have literally none. 

I'm dying for a random drive-by.

WombThereItIs

kns1988 said:

UO: I don't think money needs to be so secretive. I used to talk pretty openly about it with friends and family, but it made DH super uncomfortable and I finally realized it's a taboo topic for a lot of people. But it's such a big part of life! I get that you don't want to brag about your salary, but if someone asks how much I pay for rent or whatever, I don't see what the big deal is. 

I agree. But I know my salary is googleable and I'm pretty sure my husband's is too so maybe that is part of it. 

Squirtgun

My UO is inspired by a friend's Facebook post- 
I hate over photoshopped photos. With a passion. Like, photos where a child literally looks like a doll because their skin is so smooth and their eyes have that single tiny twinkle in each of them. They kind of freak me out, and I think they're one reason I don't like much studio photography. 

SKZW

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said:

kns1988 said:

I have to go to other month boards to get my drama fix because we have literally none. 

I'm dying for a random drive-by.

LOL @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot  What's your guilty pleasure? What ridiculousness would you love to see?

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

@skzw  If I had to choose, I'd love a good stupid or google-able question.  Maybe as we get further along, we can get a random drive by who wonders if they are in labor (without a mucus plug pic natch).  Any AW drive by could be fun.  

ShadeofGreen816

@skzw thanks for respectfully disagreeing and stating your POV. I appreciate it.  
I love that our board is so respectful and we are a friendly bunch.   But I am SO on board with the driveby wishes! Come on randoms! (My autocorrect changed that to ransoms THREE. DAMN. TIMES.)

kns1988

My favorite drive-bys are crazy MIL or SO issues. It's probably why I love reading advice columns so much. 

bacorrea

@SKZW ok I read both of your articles and neither of them stated that CFA has a policy to not hire single mothers. They have two instances of two different CFA's making poor and illegal decisions to discriminate against single moms. However, each CFA is operated by a different person (and they are all under Cathy's umbrella). That's like finding out two Walmart's discriminated against single mothers and then saying they have a policy. I just don't see where that is true. I have worked with SEVERAL single mothers/dads at three different CFAs between two different states for over 8 years. I've worked with all races, shapes, martial status, and sexual orientations at CFA and no one was discriminated at my CFAs and yes many of these people were in management.

I know that The Cathy Family takes a stance on marriage. That's fine with me. It's not like he pulled his beliefs out of his ass. The Cathy's believe in the biblical definition of marriage. That's how they were raised and that is how they are convicted.

Now you TOTALLY have a right to boycott them! I understand people that do. I have gay friends that boycott CFA and some that don't. I just don't want you to think all CFAs discrimate against single mothers, because that is not the case. There are bad apples in every company.

bacorrea

Another UO. I don't really boycotts are effective. I mean that's cool if that's what you are passionate about, but I don't believe you are changing the world. I had one friend boycotting Target in high school because she said that they donated to planned parenthood. Well so do many many others companies. You can't just boycott one company you disagree with but "forgive" the rest. I just rolled my eyes at her.

inomniaparatus2

I love reading everyone's UO and the conversation it starts. 

My UO is that I don't see who would ever buy Kanye West's clothes from his fashion show. They look like they belong on story boards about the concentration camps. Not something someone would willingly purchase and wear.

ShadeofGreen816

Thought of another one... 

I'm not generally a fan of clothes with a baby's name on them. Can't put my finger on why. Definitely not a fan as kids get older, for several reasons but the biggest is the safety concerns that come with the territory. 

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

bacorrea said:

Another UO. I don't really boycotts are effective. I mean that's cool if that's what you are passionate about, but I don't believe you are changing the world. I had one friend boycotting Target in high school because she said that they donated to planned parenthood. Well so do many many others companies. You can't just boycott one company you disagree with but "forgive" the rest. I just rolled my eyes at her.

I totally don't think my boycott of CFA is hurting their bottom line. But I won't give my money to them based on their position and it makes me personally feel better. I also don't donate to the Salvation Army at Christmas for the same reason. I won't give birth at a catholic hospital either. Knowing Target donates to PP makes me feel better about the $200 I spend there a week though. 

Jens_Hoes

My potential sort of (lame) UO is that I can't wait to get bigger and have a huge belly. I'm seriously so jealous of all you ladies. 

+1 for a drive by, we need some entertainment 

ShadeofGreen816

@Jens_Hoes when it finally happens, it happens fast! I am suddenly way huge after people being weird about how "small" I was and giving me a complex! Unfortunately the scale is moving up accordingly....