UO Thursday 2/16

mrs_tacos

This board needs a little more energy today! Tell us your most unpopular opinions, and we probably won't snark on you too much.

mrs_tacos

I don't get why Beyonce is such a big deal. She's ok, but Adele is a much better singer, and Lady Gaga is way more entertaining. 

Becky012016

It's because Beyoncé empowers a marginalized group of individuals plus she's a good entertainer. Lady Gaga and Adele are great, too.

My UO: I have zero sympathy for parents who bitch about not being able to bring cupcakes in for their kid's birthday at daycare/school because of food allergies. My kid could literally die from a cupcake. I also don't like people who pretend they're allergic just because they're picky eaters. 

Souptin

nothing too serious here but my UO is I HATE all those ruffled outfits that are so huge for little girls right now. I think they look like something  once cute got in and lost a fight with a sewing machine.

jesigirli

Nutella is disgusting. And I mean that even when I'm not food adverse.

mrsmarygs

@jesigirli The college I work at has a cafeteria that serves packaged sandwiches and one day of the week is Nutella sandwiches. Makes me gag just to think about it. I do like Nutella with pretzels though.

ColoradoHiker

I don't get the obsession with Big Bang Theory.  I'm a scientist, and I honestly just hate the show.  In the same vein, I hate having my parents and in-laws at our house later in the evening, because they *have* to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, which I also really don't like.  

True story- I love tv.  I have a million tv shows I love to watch.  Just not those ones.

ColoradoHiker

@amandarene112 I don't like Beyonce that much, either.  I have a few of her songs on my ipod, but otherwise.. meh.

@Becky012016 I get what you're saying, even though I do not have a kid with food allergies.  It's hard, especially when the allergies are severe. On the other hand, I've also stood in line at an ice cream parlor for half an hour while a mom with a kid with severe peanut allergies verbally berated a worker because they couldn't guarantee the ice cream scoop (and therefore the ice cream) would be completely peanut free.  It's a tough line to walk, and I hope your kiddo is able to grow out of their allergies.  Also, faking allergies is ridiculous.  It's up there with people saying they 'have' to be gluten free when they really don't.  

JNR6510

I think eating your own after birth is disgusting. I get it's a hip trend for the whole "naturalistic" pregnancy approach. The concept just makes me want to barf. 

Sorry.

ETA: typo

zetega

My UO is that I actually love pink girly outfits on babies.... not huge on all ruffles all the time, but I love me some pink and some girly details. Conflicted because I was a pretty tomboyish girl and I'm not about to force a certain gender/girly identity on a child who isn't interested... but while they're too young to have preferences I will have my all-pink outfits, thanks very much. Of course now that I have put this out into the internet the universe will make sure I have a boy (which would be wonderful too!). 

mercury94

@zetega Along those same lines, I love buying super over the top clothes for other people's kids. I plan to dress my baby in simple onesies for as long as possible. 

ashley2824

@amandarene112 totally agree on the Beyonce thing! 

@Becky012016 yesss!!! Wish I could use the hand clap emoji! My daughter also has a severe peanut allergies and it irks me that people just don't understand. Luckily my daughters daycare is peanut free and her teachers are amazing. But she still knows never to eat food from others and even when they have parties I send my own snacks. 

@ColoradoHiker i don't get Big Bang theory either, I'm not a scientist, but I never could get into it. 

My UO is I love weekends where I have nothing planned and we can stay home all weekend. My friends always want things planned all day both days, and I'm just like I have to catch up on laundry 

klcarr19

Becky012016 said:

It's because Beyoncé empowers a marginalized group of individuals plus she's a good entertainer. Lady Gaga and Adele are great, too.

My UO: I have zero sympathy for parents who bitch about not being able to bring cupcakes in for their kid's birthday at daycare/school because of food allergies. My kid could literally die from a cupcake. I also don't like people who pretend they're allergic just because they're picky eaters. 

I am a special needs teacher and let me tell you... if it doesn't have a nutrition box where I can cross off each allergy including cross contamination... I send it home!! I totally agree with you!

klcarr19

My UO: I do not get the obsession that some women have about being "the best Mom." Like I get it, your kid is always wearing designer, you got up at 7am on Saturday to make your kid pancakes with faces, AND you gave your kids a mini Christmas for Valentine's Day. I just feel like the best Mom when my almost 2 year old and I make it to the end of the day with minimal meltdowns, wearing something that matches, she gets a yogurt pouch on the way to the grocery store on a Saturday morning and she had to go to Target to pick out a small Valentine's Day gift since her Mom's pregnant brain remembered everything for the classroom party (both for her room and my own classroom) but totally forgot hers and daddy's gifts  like social media is the best place to make yourself look like you are sheer perfection! Mine represents the hot mess I truly am 

sarahufl

I think big, elaborate pregnancy announcements on social media are ridiculous and a bit AW-ish. I never shared my pregnancy on social media with DD and don't plan to do it this time, either.

BookitBoo

Junping in late with a big one. I loathe the term "breast is best." Im 100% Fed is best, period. 

ColoradoHiker

@BookitBoo I agree.  If you can/ want to provide breast milk (I EP'd for almost a year), great.  If you can't do BM/ only want to FF, great.  For as long as your baby is fed, that is the only thing that matters. Full stop.

lap018

I agree that fed is best but I also think that breast milk is better than formula. Again, a fed baby is best no matter how a mother chooses to feed her baby, it's no ones business really. But not pointing out the benefits breastmilk holds over its formula counterparts would be a disservice. 

BookitBoo

In first world countries (which most of us do live in first world countries, I'm assuming) the benefit is marginal at best.

My problem is specifically with the aggressive "Breast is Best" campaign. It's detrimental to new mothers who choose to or are unable to breastfeed.It is not my job to try and inform mothers about the "best" way to feed their child when I have no idea of their medical history -- I'm not a doctor. No expectant mother is unaware of the purported benefits to breastfeeding and I wont ever #breastisbest and it makes me roll my eyes majorly at the women who choose to do so. 

I'm all about normalizing breastfeeding. If you want to, and can do it, go for it! I'm going to support you and your right to breastfeed anywhere you want. But miss me with that "Breast is best" bull. 

mrsmarygs

My UO is I don't get adults being crazy about Disney World. I get how kids can think it's this magical place and is fun and love the rides and all. But it really just seems super kiddy to me. I'd rather go to Six Flags or something.
*waits for barrage*

awildrose

@BookitBoo
I get where you're coming from. Shaming is not ok towards any moms. However, I think the breast is best campaign started to reverse the detrimental opinion and lack of education on breastfeeding/breastmilk. There are many many many people, grandparents, and even doctors who are telling new moms their baby isn't eating enough because the volume is less than a typical formula baby, or that there are no benefits to breastmilk after six months, etc etc etc. There's so much false information out there that does hurt the normalization of breastfeeding. However, yes, a fed baby is the most important part and that decision does lie solely on the family raising that baby. 

labby18

@mrsmgsee i don't get it either. If I'm going to Orlando I'm going to Universal & Islands of Adventure...because Harry Potter World, duh. And because there's awesome rides. I love Disney movies etc, but not enough to go to Disney World/Land as an adult without children or with infants. I went to Disney when i was 5, and I don't remember any of it except from pictures, and I don't desire to go back.

My UO is don't put your dirty laundry on Facebook/Social Media. I do not care wtf is going on, don't do it, ESPECIALLY IF IT HAS TO DO WITH YOUR MARRIAGE. You just look immature and now the whole world knows and if you guys work it out, you already blasted it to the world. - This is why i deactivated my Facebook! A friend texted me yesterday asking if I knew what was going on with a mutual friend because she blasted her husband and some chick on facebook about being a homewrecker etc. Grow up and handle your own business inside your house.

sableeg

I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone in hating on Beyonce.  I've been waiting for this thread since the Grammy's because I. CAN'T. STAND. BEYONCE. I've never liked her...and her performance? Does she think she's the first and only pregnant lady?!

mrs_tacos

@sableeg Yes. And the first one ever to have twins. No one else has ever done that before. I totally get celebrating successful pregnancies after having a loss, I'm in that boat too, and woman to woman, I'm really happy for her. But the fertility goddess act was the definition of what I believe the kids are calling "extra" these days. 

sableeg

@amandarene112 Did she have a loss?  I'm happy for her to have a healthy pregnancy, every mama deserves that.  I still want her to go away

mightymcqueen

@Becky012016 I'll admit to occasionally faking an allergy, but that's because I'm a vegetarian and a lot of restaurants are incredibly lazy over checking the ingredients in food. Or you have servers who don't understand that fish stock isn't vegetarian The fake gluten allergy people annoy me, especially since they're so inconsistent over it. "I feel so much better now that I'm avoiding gluten!" they say, as you watch them pile pasta salad onto their plate. 

@sableeg iirc, Bey had a miscarriage a couple years before she had Blue Ivy. She talked about it in a documentary, but I don't remember the name. 

I guess my UO is that I liked Bey's performance at the Grammys, mostly because I really appreciate it when people commit to an aesthetic. She obviously had a vision for her performance, and she made it happen. And since a lot of nasty people spread rumors that she faked her first pregnancy, I can understand why she would make an effort to show off her bump now. We've seen her entire stomach, that is definitely not a pillow! 

sableeg

I'm shame to admit I don't know what iirc means @mightymcqueen !  A lot of people loved her performance!  I probably would have loved it if it were another artist.  I'm just anti-Bey for reasons I don't even really understand! Always disliked her, back to Destiny's Child days!

mrs_tacos

@sableeg iirc- if I recall correctly 

wyomama0427

amandarene112 said:

@sableeg iirc- if I recall correctly 

Yes....? If you recall correctly what...?


lol... just kidding.... 

kingfamilywife

I'm a day late to this, but I have a very traditional marriage and that always seems to be unusual to people. So I guess my UO is that more women should at least try it because you might be surprised that you like traditional roles.

mrs_tacos

kingfamilywife said:

I'm a day late to this, but I have a very traditional marriage and that always seems to be unusual to people. So I guess my UO is that more women should at least try it because you might be surprised that you like traditional roles.

I'm really curious about what your definition of traditional marriage is?  

kelseyrayay

amandarene112 said:

kingfamilywife said:

I'm a day late to this, but I have a very traditional marriage and that always seems to be unusual to people. So I guess my UO is that more women should at least try it because you might be surprised that you like traditional roles.

I'm really curious about what your definition of traditional marriage is?  

Me too! 

LynnBrown4

kelseyrayay said:

amandarene112 said:

kingfamilywife said:

I'm a day late to this, but I have a very traditional marriage and that always seems to be unusual to people. So I guess my UO is that more women should at least try it because you might be surprised that you like traditional roles.

I'm really curious about what your definition of traditional marriage is?  

Me too! 

I've always thought of 'traditional marriage' as 'one straight cisgendered woman married to one straight cisgendered man.' But since you say most people haven't tried it, I'm guessing you're adding additional criteria...? No two marriages are the same and different things make different people happy so you won't get any judgement from me. But by the time we are adults, most if us know ourselves well enough to know what kind of lifestyle would make us happy or miserable, without having to try 'em all on for size. My two cents.

sableeg

Thank you @amandarene112

kelseyrayay

I definitely won't judge I was just curious.

sableeg

I don't know that anything is "traditional" anymore!  I took it to mean maybe the 1950's ideal of SAHM who cleans, raises the kids, has dinner on the table, etc.  I must be the "traditional" man in my marriage!  Since my husband works from home and takes amazing care of us, he does a lot of the cooking and laundry!

mercury94

I'm pretty sure that she means her marriage is traditional in the sense that she and her H take on the traditional (Christian) gender roles. He as the breadwinner and her as the mother, caregiver, homemaker. Typically in these relationships, the man is the head and spiritual leader of the house. DH and I have some friends who practice the traditional marriage in the old school Christian sense (he's the breadwinner and head of the house). He's a pastor. Works really well for them. Wouldn't work for me, but there's nothing wrong with it. As long as everyone's happy and healthy. We just very much rely on my paycheck as I make more than DH. 

mrs_tacos

bridge-and-wall said:

I'm pretty sure that she means her marriage is traditional in the sense that she and her H take on the traditional (Christian) gender roles. He as the breadwinner and her as the mother, caregiver, homemaker. Typically in these relationships, the man is the head and spiritual leader of the house. DH and I have some friends who practice the traditional marriage in the old school Christian sense (he's the breadwinner and head of the house). He's a pastor. Works really well for them. Wouldn't work for me, but there's nothing wrong with it. As long as everyone's happy and healthy. We just very much rely on my paycheck as I make more than DH. 

So, part of why I asked is that I grew up in a conservative Christian environment. My parents have a fairly traditional marriage, though my mom has worked at least part time most of my life because my dad is a prison chaplain in a state system, and that's not going to make anyone rich. 

Then I met my in-laws, and to them, my parents marriage is far too "modern." My mother has equally say in their finances, and even makes most of the daily financial decisions. My mom doesn't cook every day, gives my dad chores to do on his days off, and does things like go on occasional weekend retreats and vacations with her sisters, which means my dad will have to cook and clean for himself. She voices opinions that differ from my fathers in front of us kids (even though he has the last say inmost things). They used birth control, and purposefully chose to only have two kids. The list goes on. My in-laws haven't said anything directly to me in years, but I'm sure, at the very least, they don't think my mother or I are submissive enough, and I know that they don't like that I went away to college, as they think young women should live under their father's roof until they get married. They're wonderful people, and I love them, but their idea of traditional marriage is just not something either my DH or I are interested in. 

So I guess my whole point is, even traditional, Christian, cisgender marriage can mean different things to different people. 

kingfamilywife

Sorry I think I'm on a different time zone then a lot of you. I do mean traditional roles, like more 50s style. I have no problem with what other people choose, but I just find a lot of joy in my life and I have heard many comments about why I shouldn't feel joy. It makes me want others to try it and realize I'm not some prisoner who can never speak for herself.

kelseyrayay

And that is exactly why I was curious because it can mean so many different things.
ETA:  there is no reason someone should tell you you shouldn't be happy in your marriage just because it's not their cup of tea. @kingfamilywife

labby18

I'm a military spouse who has more formal education than my husband (i have a MBA and he has no college education), but I continue to be underemployed and continually changing employers based on our frequent moves. My UO is that I do not believe employers should hold one's spouse's military service against them. I have been passed up for promotions at "Military Friendly Employers" because they want someone who will be there for more than a few years but I am more qualified and a better fit, and every time the person hired instead of me typically quits/leaves the company in a few months because they have no idea what they are doing. I am just sick of being stereotyped because of my husband's military service, and if you are going to promote yourself as a military friendly employer, and even include spouses in your little military friendly bio, you should hold yourself to that standard and not really only mean veterans. end of rant.