Infertility veterans board

rainbowwishes5

why does no one go there?

APM_SLP

I think it's a confusing title.  What does veteran actually mean? 

caseyw8784

APM_SLP said:

I think it's a confusing title.  What does veteran actually mean? 

i think the subtitle on that board is for people "struggling for 6+ months" but to me it seems that people who are still actively pursuing IVF are still on the regular IVF board, since that's where the monthly threads and action is...

rainbowwishes5

someone felt the need to have a thread here- "this ain't my first IVF rodeo" - so surely there could be a need for that board. A lot of people come on here and are already TWW and then get preg and ghost out. 

caseyw8784

@rainbowwishes5 - i agree with you that there is a need for that board, all i'm saying that from what i've seen, more/most people use the regular IVF board instead. like you said, no one goes there, so if someone wants an answer or something, they know more people will see it over here.

rainbowwishes5

@caseyw8784 sad  

HottLemonade2886

Since I am new to the IVF world I find it a benefit for the "veterans" to be on the same board as the newies. They give great advice and support. I don't see the benefit in dividing into groups when we are all here for the same things.

rainbowwishes5

@HottLemonade2886 yes the experiences are different. If you've done IVF 10 times and failed and you're on a FET where all first timers are getting BFP--- that really sucks. You have different struggles. 

HottLemonade2886

@rainbowwishes5 - You are correct the experiences can be different but most of the active discussions in the Infertility board seem to be for monthly IUI, IVF and FET. I feel like that would fit anyone currently going through one of those processes. That being said I do feel that having a special place for those who have been struggling for a while to express themselves would be beneficial.

wabash15

@rainbowwishes5 I am sorry you have been through so much and your IF journey has been so long/hard/painful.  From your recent posts you seem to be really struggling and I wonder if it might be helpful to find someone to talk to. Many work places offer free anonymous counseling, there are IF support groups or other low/no cost options out there. The women here are not competing with one another, the are trying to support and lift each other up through a complicated, painful journey. 

radmom27

@rainbowwishes5 Ive often wondered why the infertility veteran board isn't active...it was really the kind of place that I was looking for by starting the "not my first infertility rodeo thread." It's hard to know what an infertility veteran means.  For me, it would be hard to hang out over there with a whole bunch of people who have had their babies through IVF while I'm still struggling.  

I agree with you that it is SO hard to hang out on the IVF/FET monthly boards.  I've been on these boards both active and inactive for almost three years so going to those boards month after month and seeing people move on with their pregnancies just gets really hard after awhile.  Please don't misunderstand...I'm so happy for anyone that has success after infertility and I wish everyone nothing but the best, but at the same time, after multiple failures (for me, one frozen FET, four fresh IVF cycles, plus IUIs and countless medicated cycles before that), it's not a place that makes ME feel better.  I love helping others but sometimes I have to take care of myself.  

As for the continued comments both on this board and others I've seen you on about needing counseling, I find these comments condescending although I'm sure they come from a good place. We ALL could probably use infertility counseling.  You are fresh out of a chemical pregnancy and multiple other losses and have every right to be sad and upset.  Part of being on these boards is to get support at the place EACH individual person is at.  It makes me sad that people aren't more supportive and understanding of where you are.  

rainbowwishes5

@radmom27 you get it. You get me. Thank you for understanding. That's exactly What I was trying to express but not as articulately as you did. Thanks. 

mtpbadger

@radmom27 very well said. I agree 100% about being active on some of the other boards and having a hard time seeing people have success, especially on their first try.