Need advise

Kimby883

My daughter's 2nd birthday party is this Saturday at our house. Our neice tested positive for the flu and strep this morning. She and her brother were going to be at their dad's this weekend so weren't going to come to the party. I asked DH, since it's his sister, to ask my sil to not come. I also asked him to ask his parents to not come if they go around any of them after today. They think I am over reacting but when my dad got the flu I stayed away from everyone in his house for 2 weeks. I don't think putting myself, DD, new baby, my 97y/o grandfather, and my aunt who is undergoing chemo, as well as all the other children at the party, before my in laws is so crazy. I don't feel I am over reacting. They all think I am but my mil also licked my newborn's pacifier and stuck it in my newborn's mouth and thought that was perfectly fine! Should I just cancel the party and save all the headache? There has been mention of everyone wearing face masks and using hand sanitizer. I think that would be over reacting. DH didn't tell any of them to not come. Just said if they have any symptoms to not come. Am I over-reacting? 

wyomama0427

Honestly if it were me I would reschedule the party. Or cancel. I don't want to take a chance on sickness. When DS was sick we stayed home. Period. Flu and strep are both very contagious especially in children who don't cover when they sneeze and cough. My kid got strep and wasn't even around anyone who had it. I personally wouldn't risk it especially around all the people you've mentioned. They should be courteous and stay home.

SummerGirl21

ITA with @daniellelynette. Reschedule a couple weeks from now.  It will save everyone (you included) a lot of stress.

Kimby883

I wish they would stay home! I am actually hoping they sick so they won't come either which is horrible of me. We cancel play dates for colds and stay away for a common colds so this is beyond crazy to me that they would come. 

wyomama0427

Totally reschedule. I wouldn't have the party and have the chance of them bringing flu and strep with them. They're contagious even after symptoms so I would just have it later! Sorry you have to deal with this tho. That sucks. I couldn't go to my sisters best friends wedding because I had a six month old and her maid of honor was bringing her sick kids. I was so upset but as a parent you do what you have to do to protect your babies! 

msashley2010-2

I don't think you are overreacting at all. Especially since there will be a family member undergoing chemotherapy there. It isn't worth putting anyone at the party at risk for getting sick. I'd say if you are super worried about everyone being able to be there you could reschedule. But I don't think it should be that big of a deal for them to just sit this one out for now. 

And OMG the pacifier thing made me totally cringe. Reminds me of when my in laws attempted to kiss DD on the lips when she was a baby. Gross. 

Texafornian

Cancel cancel cancel! She's 2...she won't notice that her party is on a different day. We had my DD's 2nd birthday party two weeks after her actual birthday because a cousin decided to have her DD's party our original weekend (jerk!). I wouldn't think twice...just reschedule so you don't worry about possibly getting anyone else sick. 

And keep that woman woman away from all the pacis!

ColoradoHiker

If asking your SIL not to come will cause too much drama, just reschedule it  for 2 or 3 weeks from now.  There's too many high-risk family members who are going to be there, especially if one is going through chemo.  Because the flu and strep are so contagious, there's a good chance your SIL has them and will spread them around.  Neither one hangs around on surfaces for very long, but the incubation period is around 2-5 days, depending on which one you're talking about.  People can be contagious and still not show symptoms in that time period, which makes having anyone without symptoms showing up a moot point.

sarahufl

Strep AND flu? Yeah, no. You don't expose other people to that. You are not overreacting.

Kimby883

DH finally agreed to ask them to stay away. All the other guests are either parents with the same mindset as me where you don't spread your illnesses around or adults who are "germaphobic". Now just dealing with a pissy DH, which who really cares, and whatever comes from my in laws, I can handle it because I will be healthy so bring it! 

And yes my mil has not been allowed to be alone with my daughter since the pacifier incident and I have slapped her hand for trying to do stupid stuff with my child.  

Thanks yall. I really thought maybe I was having a crazy moment but I am glad I am not. 

sarahufl

Did you ask why she sucked on the pacifier? Not only is that unsanitary, it's also really strange.

wyomama0427

So the pacifier thing. DS has never really been fond of one, but in the rare occasion he wanted one if he dropped it (at home of course) I would put it in my mouth to clean it off. Honestly I've read that doing that can help strengthen the immune system, babies whose OWN MOTHER (not someone else because I agree that's freakin strange) did it had stronger immunity. Then again we've never been overly cautious about germs, I feel like if he doesn't get exposed to them now it will be worse when he gets older. 
But I would probably talk to my mother in law if she did that. But my MIL is really really awesome and doesn't do weird things like that lol

eeyorefan215

I really don't think you are overreacting. The incubation period for for the flu and strep can be up to 5 days. Even if they are not showing symptoms, they can still get others sick. If it were me (and I have done this before), I would reschedule the party until everyone can come and there will be no hurt feelings  
I hope you can resolve your problem with as little stress as possible. 
Maybe when announcing the change in date (if you decide to do that) you can say you are doing it for the children...no one will argue with you when you are protecting innocent children  

Kimby883

She did it because my 5 day old daughter didn't want her pacifier. She was not crying she didn't need it and didn't want it. My mil put the pacifier in her mouth to slip it into my 5 day old's mouth! My DD is now 2 she has a great immune system but I do too. My mil is constantly sick and so is DH. She has also never took a pacifier. My mil is also a nurse in a hospital so in constant contact with sick people making it worse to me! 

SarahS2017

If they don't understand why you're asking them not to come or why you didn't appreciate licking the pacifier and sticking it back in the babies mouth then I say reschedule.  This will allow everyone to be there to enjoy DD's party after everyone is feeling better.  It would also protect your grandfather and aunt going through chemo.

jessieR358

Flu is contagious for 5-7 days. I would honestly cancel the party and just have something low key. It's so annoying when people don't care about spreading the flu. Especially if you have immunocompromsied people coming. 

wannabeamongoose

It's not just baby and the other kiddos they put at risk. It's also adults who are older or have compromised immune systems. Not cool. Agreed that it might be best to reschedule if possible. If they think you are overreacting and don't understand your request, they are probably going to show up whether they are sick/possibly contagious or not.