Debating on 4th child? age gap? — The Bump
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Debating on 4th child? age gap?

Hello - I can't find another board to post this on and hopefully you all have some good advice and feedback. 

Currently we have 3 kids: 
Aurora - 5.5
Magnolia - 4
Everett - 5 months

We are debating on a 4th.  and if we do it we would like to be pregnant by the time Everett is 12 months.  this would give us same age gap as our girls.  but we are concerned having another one would hold Aurora back.  as she would be 7 when we would have the 4th.  do you think that age gap is too big?  we are kind of ready to move on but we always wanted 4 kids. 

we are a pretty active family with traveling and vacations...

should we go for it or just move on?  open to any advice or feedback! 

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Re: Debating on 4th child? age gap?

  • We're expecting #3, and the age gap between #1 and #3 will be 7 years.  I'm looking forward to it, because I know she'll be a super huge help around the house and with the new baby.  I'm all for self-sufficiency!   If your family makes being active a priority, one extra kiddo probably won't change that.  I'd go for it!  I'd hate to look back and regret if I didn't.
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  • I think you should go for it.

    Laura, mom of:
    James (14)
    William (13)
    Elise (11)
    Zachary (5)
    George (3) [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]
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  • Hold her back in what way? My son is 7.5 and we just had #2. I would've liked to have had them closer together but it took longer than expected to conceive. Now that we have the age gap that we do, I think it's awesome for him :) 
  • I think any age gap can work, so if a fourth kid is what you really want, I would go for it! My two kids are almost ten years apart- we didn't plan it that way!- and although there are some minuses to that, we have discovered a ton of plusses too. Do what's in your heart.
  • We are TTC #4 and ours have significant gaps, too.
    #1 - 11
    #2 - 9
    #3 - 5
    It wasn't ideal but it works out OK.
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  • We just had our 4th 11 weeks ago, our oldest is going to be 7 in February. Our second is 3, our 3rd is 2. I saw go for it! Haha I love babies though so I’d probably tell you to go for many haha
  • My2sons410My2sons410 member
    edited December 2017
    My oldest will be 7 in February, my second is 3, my third is 2, and my fourth is 11 weeks. I say go for it! The older is such an awesome helper.
  • So two perspectives. The first one is more closely connected.

    My currently pregnant with my first bio-child. DH has a child from his first marriage who will be 7 just before baby is born. He's super excited to be a big brother. He's already doing great in school, so I see no concerns with his development. I also see him being able to help out with the baby in basic things as well as being able to take care of basic needs for himself.

    On a slightly different note. I'm the oldest of 4, with a 19 year gap between my youngest sibling and me (ages: 27, 24, 10, 8). I LOVE being a "big sister". Before my step-son came into my life, I did a lot of things with my younger siblings. The years we don't have my SS overnight on Christmas Eve, I spend the night at my parents to do Christmas morning/Santa with my siblings. Now I love that SS and my two younger siblings are close enough in age they get along great.
  • No age gap is too big. My parents have 8 kids. We are 28, 27(me), 19, 16, 13, 8, 7, and 6. And their only grandchild (my son) is 4. We all get along just fine.
  • Also, my boyfriend has an 8 year old and a 5 year old. My son is 4. We just decided to try for one if our own! 
  • I’m currently pregnant with #4. There’s an 18 month age gap between my first two and a 2.5 year age gap between my second two. This was a surprise pregnancy for us and there will be almost 5 years between our last two kids. I do sort of feel like we’re starting all over since we were so close to having all the kids in school full-time, got rid of all the sippy cups, diapers, etc in the house. But I’m also looking forward to having more self-sufficient older kids that I won’t need to run after all day while taking care of the baby. They’re also excited about getting to help with the baby.

    There is no ideal age gap, each one will have it’s pros and cons. In my experience, it’s best not to overthink it. If you want another child, do it when YOU feel ready. Don’t go by some arbitrary “what if” situation.
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