TTC After a Loss


For those of you who were open to people about your miscarriages, what was the best gift/gesture you received? I've got a friend who is going through her 4th MC and would like to do something for her.

Re: Present

  • Someone gave me a book.  It had a lot of quotes of what people felt going through MC from the woman's perspective, spouse, family and friends.  It also had bible quotes that related to each quote.  Even if not religious I thought it was wonderful.  I read the entire book that afternoon. 
  • I read somewhere meals---like with funerals when people just supply you with casseroles so you don't have to worry about cooking for a few days. Not necessarily a grand gesture, but I think I would appreciate it.
    Me: 39 DH: 39
    CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
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  • a memorial necklace or bracelet with an angel wing or special charm... Check Etsy, they have beautiful remberance jewlery... 

    DD angel baby 10/16 <3
    Rainbow Due 02/20/18

  • We didn't tell people until much later, so we never got anything. However, if it were me, I'd prefer someone bring over food or get me a gift card to a restaurant that delivers. I'm really picky about jewelry, and right after the MC I know I wouldn't have wanted any mementos or knickknacks around. Food for the win, for me
  • I never got anything, but I agree with pp about food. MH is not much of a cook and he had to take care of our lo and cook dinner for us all. If someone had brought a meal or would have made those first few days easier.
  • meals would be awesome as I did not feel like cooking for a good week.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • One of our guy friends stopped by with flowers. We got cards from 3 other friends and that was it. Really the messages on Facebook were the most important because being able to talk about it was something I needed. I brought my friend and her husband meals after hers.
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
  • I think a little care package is nice. My sister sent me some lotion and nail polish and just said thinking of you.
    Maybe a warm blanket and candle with either her fav candy or restraint gift card would be nice. 

    My first mc, my friend sent me like a little edible body paint with a card that said something about sorry for your loss, but hopefully this will help having fun trying again or something along those lines. Which was a little weird, but I wasn't expecting this friend to send me anything so I thought it was sweet she was thinking of me. Lol. 

    Me.30 DH.31 
    BFP 8/28/15 mmc @ 11 weeks (d&c)
    BFP 9/28/16 mmc @ 8 weeks (d&c) - trisomy 5
    BFP 2/3/17...edd 10/13/17 <3

  • I got a lot of flowers and while I appreciated the gesture, it felt like a constant reminder of my grief everytime I passed them. Food, cookies, wine or some other self care package would have helped more I think. 
  • Food but if she has living children and it's new offer to take her kids for a few hours.  
  • We didn't really tell many people. But my 1 friend gave me a stella & dot necklace that said believe on it. I appreciated that it was a hopeful message instead of a remembrance and I wear it a lot especially when I need some good vibes. And another friend sent me flowers.

    The same friend who sent me the necklace actually had a stillbirth and when that happened to her I sent her a care package. It was before both of my losses and I did not know what to do. I knew nothing would really make her feel better so I thought if I could distract her for a brief period of time that would be great. So I sent her a package full of magazines, lotion, candles, warm socks, lip balm, slippers etc. Looking back I probably would have loved something like that too just to feel cozy and pampered a little bit.
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