FFFC 2/10

FSUNole31

Happy Friday!!  Confess here ladies...get it off your chest before the weekend! 

EmeraldNC

Woo hoo!  Glad this is started early today!

:: going to think of my FFFC........... ::

michaela0704

I'm cheap... if there is a way that I think I can make/do something myself, I will... but these days I forget I'm pregnant so when I make these types of decisions I am essentially doing on behalf of DH depending on what it is (e.g., manual labor).

So... I ordered my twins bunkbed and dresser, didn't want to pay an extra $70/item for FedEx to drop it at our doorstep so it's going to be a curb drop.

The shipment is 415 pounds and ahead of schedule by 2 weeks and coming today, when the temps dropped to the 30's.  Poor DH, I'm such a bad wife... 

My confession is that DH is aware of the situation and planning on leaving at lunchtime to work at home for the afternoon so the shipment isn't just sitting on the he street... but he doesn't know I disregarded an option for it to be delivered to our doorstep.

::insert monkey with hands over eyes emoji::

FSUNole31

I have to go to my future SIL's bridal shower tomorrow.  I have a dress I could wear, but I have been dying for new maternity pants.  I told my husband I really want to look cute so I may hit the mall tonight to look at outfits for the shower.  He knows I don't really want to attend because I don't know many people and I hate being in situations like that so I doubt he will say a word.  

FSUNole31

Another one.  My husband is working from home today and he brought the kids back heart donuts after the gym as a Friday treat.  They both in typical kid fashion ate the frosting off and kind of destroyed them a bit.  I ate both left over pieces and even with frosting licked off they were still pretty amazing.  

awoodruff27

Had a grand Mac for dinner last night. Paying the price today though. 

DD2 colored herself blue with a marker she smuggled into the car. I'm still taking her to the indoor play area even though she's still tinted blue. I'm too lazy to give her a bath. Yep I'm that parent today. 

Elyse1384

Both DH and I had to work remote yesterday due to the snowstorm in our area and daycare closure.  Generally speaking, I watched the kids and got work done as best I could (mostly made up the time during nap and at night when they went to bed).  At one point I just needed a break though.  The kids were going insane being stuck inside.  I told DH that I had a timely report that had to go out and he had to take a "shift.  I lied... I sat my ass in our home office and did nothing of consequence.  I might have bumped... shopped... and sat there in silence enjoying no one touching me or asking for something.  

MotherofDragons

I nap with my toddler every day I don't work. 

Housework be damned. 

n0soup4u

MotherofDragons said:

I nap with my toddler every day I don't work. 

Housework be damned. 

I do this every Saturday and Sunday and it's the highlight of my weekends!

mkrel

@FSUNole31 I dislike going to showers in general, but ones where I don't know anyone are pure torture for me. Definitely use it as a reason to shop!!!!!

I have been sick with the flu, and even though I work from home, I've had to use PTO because I couldn't function. I woke up feeling a lot better today and could probably work, but I'm going to enjoy the rest and not let myself feel guilty about the fact that we will be missing this extra money during my maternity leave!

CurlyMommy416

I have to confess that when I make cookies, I still eat a couple bites of raw cookie dough.  I try not to, but I'm so weak.

Stankonia2014

DD2 has her parent date this weekend, I may have convinced her to go see a movie so I could get popcorn.

kdanjou

I bought pop-tarts at the store the other day and I'm enjoying them a lot.  I haven't bought them in prob 20 years.

krex-2

I worry I'll feel somehow "less" as an adoptive mother.  I realize that's probably stupid, but it's in the back of my head.

Xath

@CurlyMommy416   I want to eat here.

https://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/

krex-2

Xath said:

@CurlyMommy416   I want to eat here.

https://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/

Oh.  My.  God.

Elyse1384

krex said:

I worry I'll feel somehow "less" as an adoptive mother.  I realize that's probably stupid, but it's in the back of my head.

It isn't stupid and rest assured, I think many of us have moments of feeling "less" than or worrying about being "less" than (I do at least!). DH felt similarly. He was worried that he would be "less" of a father sine he could not biologically father our children (we had to use a donor due to his condition).  From the moment he held our firstborn, those fears washed away.  Yes, he still worries about "will they feel incomplete in anyway by not knowing half of their biological background", but he doesn't feel less than other fathers.  Luckily he has an adopted wife who demonstrates everyday that no one can replace one's parents (biological or not) 

I personally worry that I'm "less" of a mother by not being able to stay home with my kids. I know that isn't true, but I can't help it.  I love my career, but wish I could be with my kids.  Financially it just isn't possible.  On days when they're home with me, I worry that I'm not as much fun to be with since daycare has an infinite array of fun activities while on weekends I have to get errands done nor do I have all the fun arts and crafts, play equipment, etc. that daycare does.

Xath

@krex Speaking as an adopted child, I want to tell you that my dad is never "less" to me.  Your baby is going to love you wholeheartedly.  

krex-2

Xath said:

@krex Speaking as an adopted child, I want to tell you that my dad is never "less" to me.  Your baby is going to love you wholeheartedly.  

I'm adopted as well, and never felt like my parents were "less"...but I'm on an adoption board and I like everyone spends all their time talking about "the loss the child faces" and how damaging that is, and I'm just like, "well great...so my kid is going to be screwed, fantastic."

Elyse1384

@krex by chance are other members of that board adopted themselves?  DH had so many fears at the prospect of not biologically fathering our children as he never knew what it was like to be raised by someone not biologically related.  I had no fears of that since I knew how I felt being adopted.  I won't diminish what it means to be adopted.  I know all too well how the ignorance of others can be hurtful both as a child and an adult when the topic comes up.  I think the great news for your LO is that you are adopted and can 100% relate.  You also 100% want this baby (sadly some LOs living with their biological family don't have that) and that really comes through to kids.  At the end of the day, you are the best person to raise this baby.  There is a reason the biological mother can't be the one to raise this baby which is a brave and amazing decision on her part. 

krex-2

@elyse1384, thanks so much!  Yeah, there are some adoptive members on there...and some really have experienced trauma and I can understand the reasons behind their feelings.  It's definitely an emotional minefield to navigate at times! 

Stankonia2014

krex said:

I worry I'll feel somehow "less" as an adoptive mother.  I realize that's probably stupid, but it's in the back of my head.

This makes me sad. I don't have any words to help you fell better, so I defer to what @Elyse1384 said. Hugs. 

MotherofDragons

@krex So, I work in the NICU and I've had the privelege of working with many adoptive families and their babies. 

I almost always meet and evaluate the babies before their families have a chance to arrive. There is ALWAYS a huge difference in the baby after the family arrives. ALWAYS. They perk up, thrive, just completely change. It's as if they know their parents are there. It's a remarkable thing to witness.

The baby doesn't need the biology, it needs the love. 

LOTON01

There is stuff I have wanted to post here but choose not to because it is a public forum. I would be afraid someone would find it at some point.

CapricaAndrea

My confession? I'm really enjoying the fact that I tested as not immune to toxoplasmosis and that DH has to clean the litter box for the better part of a year because of it (including the time after I tested but while we were TTC).

It was especially nice today because we had to take the cats for their annual vaccinations and our one nervous cat always poops on herself in the crate. So poor DH had to clean her up with paper towel at the vet's and then try to bathe her as best as possible once we got home. And I got to give treats to the clean cat

jc_twomamas

I may have posted this before but I don't remember. Because I don't remember anything when I'm pregnant. 

I often go through DH clothes or random collections he has and purge the hell out of it. He's not a full blown pack rat, but he definitely has trouble getting rid of things. Me? No problem! He never notices so I figure I'll keep on keepin' on until he says something. 

It's been 10 years and he's never said a word. 

CurlyMommy416

Xath said:

@CurlyMommy416   I want to eat here.

https://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/

michaela0704

@devow27 I'm a pack rat and I know it... I'm working on it but I'm good at organizing my belongings at least.  DH is terrible though... just cram and jam his stuff wherever and a lot of things are just junk or worn out clothing, etc. that he thinks he can re-purpose later.  I've been so close to just purging his stuff for him so he doesn't have to (maybe that is his struggle?)... I'm weirdly jealous of your boldness.

huskermom14

I took DS to daycare and got my hair done this morning like planned even though I called in sick to work all week. I was legit sick with a stomach bug Tues and Wed. Yesterday I just felt like crap because I was probably dehydrated, but by 630 I probably could've survived a night shift if necessary. Buuuut I decided to sleep instead. They didn't work short so I don't feel too bad about it. 

EmeraldNC

My FFFC: When I was about 7-8 weeks pregnant, I ran into my ex (long story short, he's kinda the one that got away.... our timing was ALWAYS off and he's just a super nice guy)  Anyways... I was already showing (mostly bloat of course) but I didn't want to be embarrassed/him just think I had gotten fat... so after he hugged me, and we started talking... I told him I was a lot further along than I was. 

krex-2

MotherofDragons said:

@krex So, I work in the NICU and I've had the privelege of working with many adoptive families and their babies. 

I almost always meet and evaluate the babies before their families have a chance to arrive. There is ALWAYS a huge difference in the baby after the family arrives. ALWAYS. They perk up, thrive, just completely change. It's as if they know their parents are there. It's a remarkable thing to witness.

The baby doesn't need the biology, it needs the love. 

That is the sweetest thing I've heard!!

Dammit, now I'm crying.  LOL

EmeraldNC

Another FFFC: My husband is working 2nd shift today, my Dad just called and asked if he could pick up DD3, and there is a showing of 50 Shades Darker at 4pm.  I am thinking about going by myself and eating all the popcorn!!!!!!

EmeraldNC

OH MY GAH YALL -  My sister just texted and I thought it was just me and her on the text....

Me: Are yall going to Asheville this weekend? Trying to get knocked up?  Didn't you say you were going to start trying again in February?  Be careful, that's where I got knocked up with DD3!
My sister:  OMG stop
Me: Huh?

IT WAS A WHOLE FAMILY CHAT..... MY DAD, STEPMOM, BROTHER IN LAW and SISTER!!!!!!!!!
(I got pregnant before I was married, and my parents are SUPER Southern Baptist)



edit: words

jc_twomamas

@michaela0704 after I did it once or twice and he didn't notice, I called it fair game. Every now and then he will come out and ponder about a random shirt or item, but he always assumes that he misplaced it. He is also notorious for putting things in weird random places and NEVER remembering. I say go for it! Purge away! 

ladylolly89

I think I might start lying to strangers about the sex of this baby.
Both pregnancies, I've carried all in front and end up looking like I swallowed a basketball. Both are boys. Of course, that is the stereotypical "boy" way to carry, so people automatically are like "it's a boy! I can tell!"
I just want to say "no, it's actually a girl" just to make them shut up. What a stupid thing to say. My mom carried all of her babies this way, and so did one of my best friends with, yes, a girl. 

c1tym0m22

3 random-ish people at work today have commented on my being pregnant (one did say "I realize I'm not supposed to assume that"). I'm actually totally ok with it - I wonder how long they had just been assuming I had eaten too many cookies!
The guy who also asked if I was waddling....less cool. 

LAMCH1980

MotherofDragons said:

@krex So, I work in the NICU and I've had the privelege of working with many adoptive families and their babies. 

I almost always meet and evaluate the babies before their families have a chance to arrive. There is ALWAYS a huge difference in the baby after the family arrives. ALWAYS. They perk up, thrive, just completely change. It's as if they know their parents are there. It's a remarkable thing to witness.

The baby doesn't need the biology, it needs the love. 

@krex, I hope her comment brings you comfort. You are going to be a wonderful mother. 

MotherofDragons

@ladylolly89 My boss told me she couldn't believe I'm carrying a girl because my belly is all compact and in the middle and I'm not "wide" like a girl pregnancy. Wtf? 

silliegirlie143

@Mother0fDragons @c1tym0m22 UGH!!! People and their inappropriate comments!!



************TW****************** (and a total Dear Diary post)

My FFFC: I let myself get into a debate with my Dad and it has me all screwed up now. I asked my very pro-life family member, since they have voiced beliefs that women have abortions out of convenience, if they feel that same way about someone we know who went through one out of medical necessity. He said yes, he thinks the need was made up and she just decided at 19 weeks (after sending out a pregnancy announcement via FB) that she wasn't ready to be a parent. 

I am judging him so hard that I am seriously contemplating whether I need this person in my life... and this is making me feel like I'm being a bad Mom for thinking about removing a grandparent from my kids' lives. This isn't not the first issue/run in... just the latest in a lifetime of drama and conflict
*************end TW***************

UGH!! Why must adulting be so damn hard?!?!

kahlan82

itsfine said:

MotherofDragons said:

I nap with my toddler every day I don't work. 

Housework be damned. 

I do this every Saturday and Sunday and it's the highlight of my weekends!

Hell yeah! Weekends are total nap days. My SIL has stopped giving her DS naps because she doesn't think he needs it. My son is 2 months older and I am like, "ummm he is getting naps until he starts kindergarten and maybe after." (It isn't completely for me, young kids need a quiet brain break and a chance to recharge. Okay maybe it's 60% for me.)

ashleyl31

kahlan82 said:

itsfine said:

MotherofDragons said:

I nap with my toddler every day I don't work. 

Housework be damned. 

I do this every Saturday and Sunday and it's the highlight of my weekends!

Hell yeah! Weekends are total nap days. My SIL has stopped giving her DS naps because she doesn't think he needs it. My son is 2 months older and I am like, "ummm he is getting naps until he starts kindergarten and maybe after." (It isn't completely for me, young kids need a quiet brain break and a chance to recharge. Okay maybe it's 60% for me.)

I love naps, but my almost 4 year old rarely takes them. If he takes a nap, he is up until at least 11pm and I just can't take it! Cutting out naps gets it much closer to 9pm, which is more bearable on weekdays. If he does nap, it's on Saturday so I can nap with him and sleep in some on Sunday.