Financial Prep for Baby

SpongeWorthy

This is a place to ask questions about and discuss financial prep you are doing for the baby.  Let's start adulting!

PurplePumpernickel

SpongeWorthy said:

This is a place to ask questions about and discuss financial prep you are doing for the baby.  Let's start adulting!

Sigh, do we have to? 

tuxielove93

@PurplePumpernickel lol 
So this is semi-related. DH and I are having a hard time figuring out who to ask to take the baby if both of us were to die. We really don't want any of our parents for a multitude of reasons. Any suggestions on who/what criteria there should be for the people we pick, and also how to ask? 

oheliza44

I spent a good part of last week sorting out life insurance policies for DH and myself. We both already have policies through DH's work, although his is significantly larger than mine. I wanted to have supplemental policies in place for both of us for a few reasons. We are both young, healthy, non-smokers and can qualify for a lower premium on a term policy now as opposed to five years from now. Also, if DH switches jobs, who knows if he will have the same type of life insurance benefits. It feels good to have this checked off the list. We already have wills and power-of-attorneys. These will need to be updated once LO arrives.

We haven't started discussing a college savings plan. That will probably be on the back burner until LO is here, and we get our post-baby finances sorted out. Unfortunately I live in an area where you have to send your kids to private school. Because of this, the bigger financial burden is funding the k-12 education as opposed to college. Both DH and I are products of public education and children of teachers so this is a hard pill for me to swallow.

nktrodden826

Every time we go to any store we make our purchase and add a $25-$50 gift card. So far we have about 15 gift cards mostly to Walmart and Wegmans (local grocery store). 

We did this with my son too and it was a HUGGEEE help!! My husband plans to take 2-3 weeks off and doesn't accept overtime when they're newborns so the extra money really helps! Plus when we have people come over who ask if they can get us anything it's so nice to hand a list and a gift card and have them do our grocery shopping. 

SpongeWorthy

Right now, I have a small life insurance policy through DH's work.  My job doesn't offer one.  Has anyone had a health assessment done for their life insurance?  I can get a larger policy, but I have to go through a health assessment first.  Just wondering how stringent they typically are.

We are debating whether or not to start a 529 college savings plan.  Ohio actually has a good 529 plan compared to other states (low fees, favorable tax deductions, etc).  My parents put my college savings in a mutual fund, and that worked out well for me.  Has anyone gone through this process and have any insight?

glitterfish-2

@SpongeWorthy The health assessment is big PITA, but most of it is interviews on the phone. You need to know illnesses, treatments, doctors you visited, etc.
For the weight/blood draw, they typically come to the house.

I passed OK being overweight with high cholesterol. We pay a ton for DH being overweight with sleep apnea.

oheliza44

@SpongeWorthy I still have to do the health assessment for our policies. Like @GlitterFish said, they will come to your house to do the blood draw. I was concerned about my pregnancy skewing my insurability and premium rate, however my broker said that as long as you are less than six months along it won't be a factor. They take pregnancy weight in account. Also, our initial quotes were based off our current height and weight so we have a good idea of what our premiums will be before the blood draw and application process.

BusyZee

I'm trying to save up 250 every month and the rest H will take care of.

 Iv short listed everything so that I don't have any impulse buys that I regret later on.
 I'm trying not to stress about it because there's so much I can do and it's my first I don't know what to expect anyway. But I have finalized the necessities that I will buy myself and will have enough to buy them all by end April (fingers crossed)
the future I'm entirely relying on God. 
Maybe I should just try the casino like @nktrodden826 lol

stokesm21

kerils said:

@PurplePumpernickel lol 
So this is semi-related. DH and I are having a hard time figuring out who to ask to take the baby if both of us were to die. We really don't want any of our parents for a multitude of reasons. Any suggestions on who/what criteria there should be for the people we pick, and also how to ask? 

I wouldn't choose our parents for a lot of reasons either.  My parents are getting older and my Mom definitely wouldn't raise my kids the way I would want.  My SMIL and FIL also would not raise my kids the way I want and my MIL was a crappy parent to my DH so just ... no haha!  I asked my sister.  Although we differ in a lot of stuff she's the only person I would really trust with my kids.  I know she would take care of them and love them like her own.  I just came straight out and asked her and told her to take her time but it wasn't a question for a her.  Her very quick and easy answer was, "Of course!"  After that I also made sure to tell her that there would be money for them from the life insurance if that were to happen.  Picking who to raise your child(ren) is a tough choice.  If I had anyone closer to me with more of my own ideals then she might not be my first choice but I don't so she's my #1.  We don't really trust any of DH's siblings with our kids lol!  (Or won't since #1 is on the way haha!) 

As for criteria:
1)  People who will truly love my kids like their own
2)  Those who would raise my kids the way I would. Similar opinions on discipline, schooling, religion etc.
3)  Those who I know could financially handle my children on top of their own.  I mean the money from our life insurance is great but if it wasn't there I wouldn't pick someone who already struggles with their own life.  I wouldn't put that burden on someone nor would I want my kid to grow up like that      

SpongeWorthy

@oheliza44 Wow you are on the ball!  We still need to get our wills and power of attorneys written.  That sucks about schools in your area.  I went to fairly expensive (in my opinion) private schools for K-12.  My grandparents really wanted me in private school so they helped my parents financially.  DH is a public school kid and waaaaayyy smarter than me, so I don't know how much it helped haha.  I just did a quick online search about paying for private K-12 education, and I found the Coverdell ESA:

https://www.irs.gov/publications/p970/ch07.html

It's similar to a 529 plan, but it can be used for elementary, secondary, and college expenses.  The deposits aren't tax deductible, but the distributions are tax-free as long as they are used for qualified education expenses.  Maybe something worth looking into.

oheliza44

@SpongeWorthy thanks so much for this info! I will definitely check it out.

stokesm21

Life Insurance:  DH and I recently went for life insurance policies mainly because we now have assets (first home) then because we are expecting.  It gets really complicated when you have step-children and your own children in the mix.  DH was denied coverage though so we are on the hunt for a new company.  He has a substantial amount of coverage with his work but his initial (denied) policy was originally designed to not rely on that too much in case he switches jobs.  His coverage for me under that plan is pennies, barely the cost for a funeral.  Supplemental policies were a must for us.  Anyways, once his LI policy is in place then we will have our wills and POA's drawn up.  Although our family already knows what we want when it comes to burials and they are all on board.  In the words of my SMIL, "Got it.  Donate your organs and burn you both!" lmao!    

Education:  I'm not sure what we're going to do about post-secondary funds.  I'm on the fence about it.  Either way I don't want to stick the money in an education-only account.  I would like to put money away to help but I don't feel like I have to finance my children's entire education.  I got some help (from my Grandma) and ended up with a little bit of debt.  It was an okay balance of both that I was comfortable with.

Other Planning:  We traveled a lot when I was a kid.  Not anywhere exotic or even out of the country (usually) but I have very fond memories of all the vacations I took with my family every summer.  Sometimes it was camping just a few short hours away and others it was a trip to Florida or out East (I'm Canadian)  I want to do much of the same with my kids and as they get older and have a better understanding of the world I'd like to bring them to more foreign places (ie: across the ocean)  None of that all-inclusive crap.  Legitimate vacations immersing ourselves in another country's culture.         

alcrimmins

We started a 529C plan when dd was born. Our financial planner put a lot of options together for us. They need lo's ssn before being able to actually set it up. He also manages our life insurance, iras, and retirement plan. He pretty much owns us. Lol 

When putting together our will, we looked for people that would raise our kids as if they were their own and had similar life/parenting styles. We didn't want someone to move around a lot or take our kids away from grandparents/aunts/uncles. 

ginger1228

As far as who will raise our kids if we die: neither of us have family that we are comfortable with raising our kids. Ranges of reasons such as religious beliefs, lifestyle choices, single parent who couldn't handle it on her own, etc. We have some friends we want to ask, but they just moved across the country so it bothers me that our child will be so far their grandparents, but they visit the area often and will probably eventually move back.

We've also decided that we're not telling anyone our decision. It will just lead to arguments and hurt feelings. We'll leave letters or something explaining our decision. That's probably a cop out, but it's not worth the fight when it won't change our decision. 

Im trying to decide about a college savings plan too, so I'll be stalking this thread. Thanks for making it @SpongeWorthy! I'm team They Can Pay for Their Own College like I did, but I also want to make sure they succeed so we'll probably offer half and they pay the rest or something like that. 

rojita-2

@kerils - this was one of the hardest decisions my husband and I made for DS as well and like @stokesm21 we took into consideration a number of factors including:
- age (ruling out both parents almost from the get-go)
- financial stability (even though we have RESP and funds set aside, we don't want finances to be a worry)
- overall life stability (our DS' godmother was such a great option for us but she's much younger and not yet established)
- overall outlook on education, discipline and family values 

The reality that I think we all face is that no one will be right because no one else is us. I took comfort in writing a letter that outlined our reasons as well as our requests (such as continued involvement of both sides of the family). We ended up deciding on my BIL and his fiancée as they're well established, they will ensure that he will continue to have his exposure to Spanish culture/background, as well as access to schooling and other opportunities. They're not ideal choices in some regards but it's all a matter of who we think will try their best to respect our wishes too and we think they will do that. Gosh, it's a tough decision though.

as for financial prep for this one, I've started putting some money aside each month. My work tops up my salary for the first four months but if I plan on taking longer (I'm in Canada so we get up to a year with job protection) we've got to save now. I've also got our education fund set up for DS as a family plan so money set aside each year for him can also be applied to the new baby as he/she grows.

Creedon778

We have our will, poa, and healthcare proxy done. We did that with child #1 but wrote it in a way that splits things among the children as opposed to naming the kids so we didn't have to amend as more kids came. We chose my MIL to take care of the kids with SIL being next in line. We also chose to have someone else manage finances as neither of them have historically been great with money so we thought better to separate those two things.

We have savings accounts and 529 accounts for both the boys and will set one up for our new baby as soon as they arrive. There are no state tax benefits to the Massachusetts 529 so we (I) looked across all of them and decided upon Utah's 529 plan. They don't use a brokerage firm (e.g. Fidelity, vanguard) so their expenses are much lower but they've had historically strong performance. I recommend going to savingforcollege.com. It's a great resource about 529 plans and the coverdell as was previously mentioned. The guy who runs the website also has a great book but you can get most of the information free on his website including data to compare 529 plans and whether your state offers tax benefits. I always hear people say "what if my kid gets scholarships?" but the great thing is the money can be redirected toward another child or grandkids if it's not used for the original child. It can be renamed for anyone else really. We initiated our funds with money we received when they were born and then we contribute monthly with the goal of funding approximately 75% of their education. FIL also has a 529 for each kid (through rhode island) that he contributes to instead of buying toys at Xmas and their birthdays. Every Xmas he lets us know what they're at. I grew up going to an ok public school and then had scholarships for a private college, graduating with about $15k in debt. My mom had no money to fund my education but I feel like I'm in a much better place and want to save to give them a cushion but make them also take some responsibility for the financial obligations of college so they take ownership for the financial implications of where they decide to go, what major / career path they take, etc.

For life insurance I get a good amount standard through work and then took out a much larger term policy through work in addition to that as I'm the breadwinner by far. They did have to do medical tests but it was pretty straightforward. I also took out the max I could on DH through my work as they don't require a medical screening. He's had thyroid cancer so we'd probably have to pay higher rates if I went elsewhere.

The payment I could do without right now is preschool. We currently pay for two kids and it's essentially a mortgage payment. I was so looking forward to that ending in the near future but not with another little one on the way!

Mrs.EmmaLouise

Life insurance: the younger you are when you get it, the better. But I think I read once that you'll get higher rates if you are pregnant- so I'd google that. I got mine when DD was 6months old. DH, DD, and I each got plans. DD's is whole coverage (opposed to term) so she can choose to cash that out for $ later in life if she wants- but the idea was if anything ever happens to her I won't want the money, but I also won't want to work so that will help support us while grieving. 

College savings: I'll start saving for the kids once I pay off DH and I's student loans. 

Guardianship: We selected my parents as primary guardians, but friends to be the back-up if something happens to them. My parents are in great health and are close with DD- that decision was easy. My in-laws are divorced and it would be a strain for one of them to get custody- also they would just hate each other more. Our friends are young, active, brilliant, stable, share all of our ideals, and I know they would continue to raise our kid(s) the way we wanted. We asked if they would be willing, and they were more than happy to accept. 

My sister selected me to take her kids, but I don't think she ever got that written down, signed, notarized, ect. Which she needs to do, otherwise I think both sets of grandparents will be fighting over that. 

Saving money: I'm debating whether I will keep DD #1 home from summer care post delivery to save money... or if that would drive both of us crazy. Hoping for a good tax return to help cover some of my un-paid mat leave.

abmommy15

@kerils this is always a tough one.  We also didn't want to ask any of our parents and ultimately it came down to who would raise our kids with the same core values we have,  know and love our son (and future kids),  lives a similar lifestyle in terms of vacations extracurricular activities etc,  and would ensure the rest of our families spent time with our kids.  Basically we did our best to ensure that our kids lives would continue on as close to normal if the unthinkable happens.  We ultimately decided on DH's cousin and his wife and couldn't imagine anyone else but they weren't the obvious choice.  Think about all your close friends and extended family, chances are the perfect pick is there they just aren't the "obvious" choice.  

SaphireSweetie88

DH gets tips when he drives for Uber so we're putting those in our safe so that when I am on maternity leave, we will have that cash saved up so we can get things without having to use credit cards and such. I will still get some pay (at 75%) while on leave but we want to be prepared with the extra cash to get us through between checks if we need it. @nktrodden826  has a good idea about the gift cards. We may start doing that too.

One of the things we've done since finding out we're pregnant is change up the way we're attacking the remaining credit card debt we have. We're more aggressive and got interest rates reduced to 3% which is a HUGE help and we will be able to pay off the remaining debt A LOT sooner. We're looking at about 2 years (max) now and that's if we only do the minimum payment.

JmUDuuuukes 07

Finances on maternity leave: thankfully I have sick time, vacation time, and short term disability to get me through my 12 weeks at 100% and thankfully, I'll get enough vacation time by Christmas to be able to take the week off in between again.

Life Insurance: this summer, DH will become the "breadwinner" in that he will finally pass me in salary (after 6 years of grad school and 5 years of post grad work :-D) that being said, he would still need some financial support if something were to happen to me. I have a 10x plan through work, that will allow him to pay off the house and pay for both kids' college and then some. DH just got a term policy that is 15x of his future salary that will afford me much of the same if he were to pass. Thankfully he is healthy and for the cost of a dinner at applebees, he is covered. 

College: we have a 529 set aside for DD and intend to have one for this child as well. We will also be diversifying and opening mutual fund accounts. We live in PA and get tax benefit no matter the state we have a 529 with. We went with NY due to rates and 10 year history of annual rates of return. We also contribute enough annually to make sure we don't owe any state taxes. Ha! We intend to fully find undergraduate degrees for our children - but grad school is on their own, unless they can be frugal and make the 529 go further. I see the burden that student debt puts on some friends and family members (forcing decisions for careers that really sick because they have so much debt and feel like they don't have choices) and I don't want that for my kids. But you better believe they will also be saving.

Child finances: Dave Ramsey method of teaching kids to save, give and spend will be active in our household. And the savings can't be touched until 18. 

Who will the children live with? We thought long and hard about this one. Made a list of all possible family and friends. We listed pros and cons to get started and then narrowed it down to BIL & SIL, then a backup. We made sure to ask them if they felt comfortable, disclosing some of the financial information above. 

Dcwtada

We need to get an official will in place, we have an unofficial understanding with my aunt and uncle to take our children if we were to both pass. Our parents are awesome and love/very involved with the kids but for two very separate reasons not quite in a position to provide care for 3 little ones. 

My husband has a significant amount of life insurance. We have some residential and commercial properties and he is the sole bread winner so if he were to pass he wants me to be able to pay off all the debt on our properties and have money left over - the idea is to be set enough to have no debt and be able to live off the income of the properties either through rent or selling them off depending on what I want. I have some insurance too, a fraction of his but enough to provide childcare and college educations/trusts for the kids. DH also has a 401K but he only started it a couple years ago so it is not substantial. 

One of our arguing points is saving for college. DH is of the opinion we should continue to invest our money in physical ventures like flipping/rehabbing houses or rental units as opposed to setting money aside. My contention is there is a huge difference between liquid and physical assets, if we need money it's not as simple to sell a house or what not - he thinks we should take a loan if we get to that point. 

abmommy15

@Dcwtada DH and I have a similar argument about where to put our money, only ours is do we pay off our mortgage early or save for retirement.  We sat down and calculated the interest we would pay on the mortgage vs the potential investment return (using very conservative returns) and tax savings we receive for investing in retirement.  After we saw the numbers it was an easy decision.  Could you and your H do something similar and conservativley estimate the income you would receive on the properties vs the return on an investment account?  
For something like an education account I would likely take a riskier option with a higher potential return simply because if something happened and we lost it all it wouldn't mean the kids couldn't get an education, only that somebody would have to take out a loan.  I am far more conservative with retirement savings because what's there when we retire is what we have to work with.

glitterfish-2

@abmommy15 Which did you decide? I'm currently debating stopping retirement to get my PMI paid off ($150 charge per month), but I'm already way behind for 35!

longhairdntcare

Dcwtada said:

One of our arguing points is saving for college. DH is of the opinion we should continue to invest our money in physical ventures like flipping/rehabbing houses or rental units as opposed to setting money aside. My contention is there is a huge difference between liquid and physical assets, if we need money it's not as simple to sell a house or what not - he thinks we should take a loan if we get to that point. 

This. We have a rental property, but it's 30-40 min away and is just a giant pain the ass. It was DH's house he lived in when he was in law school. He bought it dirt cheap and gutted it. If it were closer to us, I would have no problem with it. But since it's far away, anytime something goes wrong it's such a pain to get down there and repair. And when things aren't going wrong (or so we think) we NEVER go down there and then we find out about issues way after we should. Example, the last guys that were living there let the bathroom get INFESTED with mold and we had no idea. The bathroom wasn't properly ventilated and they just didn't tell us. We went down when they moved out and were SHOCKED. We fixed the problem and repaired the damages, but it would have been nice to know about it sooner.

So we have the same issue. I want to sell the house and put the proceeds partially towards debt, and partially towards savings. DH disagrees because he thinks of the equity we have in that house as a security blanket. I hate adulting.  

stokesm21

SaphireSweetie88 said:

One of the things we've done since finding out we're pregnant is change up the way we're attacking the remaining credit card debt we have. We're more aggressive and got interest rates reduced to 3% which is a HUGE help and we will be able to pay off the remaining debt A LOT sooner. We're looking at about 2 years (max) now and that's if we only do the minimum payment.

This.  So much this.  I'd like to know your secrets on getting your interest rates reduced!  It's one thing I worry the most about LO coming.  I just want to get the damn CC debt paid off and get rid of the redundant cards we don't need.  I was able to secure more hours at work which will help over the next half of the pregnancy and DH's work will be picking up.  Right now he's taking on all the OT shifts that he can so that we can get out of this hole.  (Which we don't usually dig but we got here. Ugh!)  I was even considering just consolidating all of it and making 1 payment but I don't know if that's the right option at the moment. 

Dcwtada

@rae1 and @abmommy15 lucky for us our properties are all within a few blocks, H is crazy handy and we also have a guy that works for us that can do most things when DH is at work. DH is convinced any return on investment from savings are nothing - we should either pay down debt and/or continue with rentals. It makes me nervous because I am a saver and having all our cash tied up scares me - if we need money we'd have to mortgage or sell a house. The other thing that scares me is H's income is based on commissions - his "salary" is a pittance - and while he is doing very well none of that is guaranteed (and I know no matter your field or pay structure nothing is technically guaranteed) so a down turn in contracts and business could be devastating which I do believe is why he is insistent on having "plan b" for income. I don't know, I really don't  

longhairdntcare

Dcwtada said:

@rae1 and @abmommy15 lucky for us our properties are all within a few blocks, H is crazy handy and we also have a guy that works for us that can do most things when DH is at work. DH is convinced any return on investment from savings are nothing - we should either pay down debt and/or continue with rentals. It makes me nervous because I am a saver and having all our cash tied up scares me - if we need money we'd have to mortgage or sell a house. The other thing that scares me is H's income is based on commissions - his "salary" is a pittance - and while he is doing very well none of that is guaranteed (and I know no matter your field or pay structure nothing is technically guaranteed) so a down turn in contracts and business could be devastating which I do believe is why he is insistent on having "plan b" for income. I don't know, I really don't  

totally understandable. I have a feeling DH and I will be having the same debate for years to come. haha

Creedon778

@Dcwtada I think it's great you have rental property and can see YH's point, however I think it's also good to diversify investments. There are also tax benefits of 529s to take into account. I sold one of my rental properties last year so we had the downpayment for our new house. We kept our old house and turned it into a rental property. Our plan is to sell it in 7 years and use the money to pay down our mortgage substantially.

SaphireSweetie88

stokesm21 said:

SaphireSweetie88 said:

One of the things we've done since finding out we're pregnant is change up the way we're attacking the remaining credit card debt we have. We're more aggressive and got interest rates reduced to 3% which is a HUGE help and we will be able to pay off the remaining debt A LOT sooner. We're looking at about 2 years (max) now and that's if we only do the minimum payment.

This.  So much this.  I'd like to know your secrets on getting your interest rates reduced!  It's one thing I worry the most about LO coming.  I just want to get the damn CC debt paid off and get rid of the redundant cards we don't need.  I was able to secure more hours at work which will help over the next half of the pregnancy and DH's work will be picking up.  Right now he's taking on all the OT shifts that he can so that we can get out of this hole.  (Which we don't usually dig but we got here. Ugh!)  I was even considering just consolidating all of it and making 1 payment but I don't know if that's the right option at the moment. 

@stokesm21

I'd be happy to help you! Message me and we can talk about what DH and I did and the choices we had to make and how / if it would help your family

caribbeanmama-2

@dcwtada I'm with you in terms of having some liquid assets.  I agree with @creedon778 that diversification is key - so whilst you may not win over your husband completely, maybe you could get him on board with that idea?  In my case, we have stocks, I bought a little at a time when I finished college (quick and easy to sell in an emergency - I know there is risk there but we are not day-traders and buy to hold for years).  Then before I had  a real job I took advantage of Roth IRA's and now I just use backdoor means to do Roth conversions.  These are not full on liquid assets but easily dissolvable in case of a real emergency.

As for the 529's - I go back and forth on it mostly because I don't like the limited stock options of the plans that I looked at.  Which is funny, because when I met my husband I harped on him until he got a 529 plan for his daughter - I thought he was an idiot for not having one (she was 13 at the time).  She just started college last Fall and he is plenty glad that I nagged him into it!  He was super late but it still turned out to be a good decision.  Now, DS is over a year old and I still haven't made a decision on a 529 plan I like.  I need to get in gear! 

abmommy15

@GlitterFish we decided on retirement savings.  We have a pretty low interest rate on our mortgage and even with our retirement funds in relatively low risk investments we are still almost guaranteed to get a higher return than the interest savings on paying our mortgage early.  

mrscate88

Hubs has good life and health insurance and retirement through his work, we have 6 months emergency fund, we both work full time and budget pretty well. We're not investing in the stock market these days, although I work for a financial advisor, so that is pretty much blasphemy haha. We'll figure out college savings in the near future but it's not at the top of my list.

My advice for anyone who wants guidance prepping for baby financially: get good health and life insurance, put as much as possible into savings, and don't waste too much money on "stuff". Babies really don't need a lot. 

stokesm21

@Rojita I'm totally jealous of your top-up! LOL I don't make a lot or work nearly as much as I'd like. It will take EI, universal child tax (which due to my husband's salary, won't be much!) and saving on my commute (which is surprisingly a lot haha!) to get me back up to my normal working earnings.  

@Creedon778 I wasn't aware you could do that (not name names) I wonder if I could do that here. It would make things soooo much easier.  

I have a question which may or may not be related and I'm in Canada so it might vary but... I am listed as DH's sole beneficiary on everything. Could SS's Mom come after me for his life insurance if he were to pass? I've always vowed to continue paying his child support. If he put a stipulation that I had to do that would it be enough or could she potentially come after me for all or most of it? 

abmommy15

@stokesm21 you should consult with a lawyer about that as  those situations can be tricky.  It is unlikely that she could contest the will and succeed in winning the majority of his insurance but a clause stating that you have to pay his child support may not be enough to prevent some kind of fight (and might not be legally binding).  I know when we did our wills our lawyer was pretty specific about how our funds would be dealt with, trusts, and trustees and we have a fairly simple situation with no kids from previous relationships.  He didn't even want our chosen guardians (who we trust absolutely and are better off financially than we are) to be the only ones managing our assets.  We named a separate trustee who will work with the guardians to oversee the finances and dole out the money.    His rule of thumb is that money brings out the worst in people so cover all of your bases and then go back and check them.  

stokesm21

@abmommy15 Thank you for that! The latter half is also excellent advice.  I do also believe that money brings out the worst in people. We will be very picky about how our money will be released to our children as well (and SS too obviously. Right now since our LO isn't here yet he's second in line for DH's money if we both go. Mine is divided between my Mom, Dad and sister) Money to guardians for care than they will get certain percentages at certain ages of life. I don't want my insurance company handing them cheques for hundreds of thousands of dollars even if they happen to be 25 at the time.  We do have a lawyer so I should probably touch base with him and ask about the SS thing. (Need to get DH's life insurance locked down so we can get the wills, POA's etc. done)  I do fear she would come after me/the money even if I was paying the support.  SMIL/FIL also have a substantial amount of money put away for his education.