Monday B!tchfest

hopeful808

I didn't see this started yet.  So let the out ladies....

anitamargarita_82

Nothing to complain about here!  In fact in almost 16 years in the Navy I've never had a snow day until today! It's like Christmas:-).  So much trashy tv to watch! 

hopeful808

Yesterday my DH called my SIL to get a timeline of her wedding in August so we can buy plane tickets. Good thing we did because she apparently is moving the wedding to October. It's now a Friday too to make things more difficult since I teach and can't  just take time off whenever I want. So it would be middle of the night arrival or overnight flight, two days there then fly home and tickets currently cost between 500-1000$ each. 

Elyse1384

I would like to bitch about the kickoff time of the Super Bowl.  Regardless of what team you cheer for, it makes for a late night if you're on the east coast; particularly given the longer halftime format.  I would much prefer kickoff around 4:30pm ET/1:30pm PT kickoff (hell I'll even take 5:30pm ET).  That keeps the game in the afternoon for the west coast to enjoy the festivities and food, but keeps game conclusion and post game analysis to a reasonable hour for the east coast.  I'm operating on no sleep today and starting to hit a wall.  Every year regardless of who plays, I love watching the post game analysis, presentation of the trophy and interviews.  Today, I am le tired. 

jc_twomamas

@hopeful808 ouch on those tickets! When DS was 2 months old, we had to fly to Cali for my brothers wedding, and then when he was 4 months old we had to fly to Maine for DH best friends wedding. So. Damn. Expensive. 

My MB might be a little bit of a downer, so, if you're looking for an LOL MB, skip this. 

DH brother (my BIL) is a functioning alcoholic at the tender age of 25 and EVERYONE in DH family likes to pretend nothing is happening. It's been danced around a handful of times, but my in laws want nothing to do with addressing it. MIL's brother is an alcoholic and they've never addressed it either. 
I just can't deal with the denial anymore. He needs serious help. He's showing up to work late, almost getting fired, drinking to black out on week days, driving drunk, trouble paying bills, can't keep a relationship...the list goes on. I love and care for him so much but I just don't know where to go or how to start. I wish DH and his family were more open to dealing with his drinking issues...
I'm beyond frustrated!!!! DH will talk to me openly about it but then the "plan" to bring it up to his parents in a serious matter never ever goes anywhere. UGH. This is the opposite of how i operate and was brought up so I want to just pull my flipping hair out. 
Thanks for making it through that rant...

swanbrooner

I had the most bizarre pregnancy dreams last night and also woke up at all sorts of intervals. So, of course, I'm exhausted today. 

When I say most bizarre... I'm talking getting tricked into eating human feces, and outrunning a tornado all in the same "dream". WTF?

JAGinMI

I have a friend who is due on 4/4. She is having a scheduled C-section, currently scheduled for her due date. She HATES being pregnant, primarily because she is very vain and cannot embrace the extra weight (not judging her on this, just stating the facts - she would tell you these words exactly). She just told me that she and her husband have a 7-day trip to Grand Cayman scheduled for 4/26!  They are planning on taking the baby.



She has said that her docs have told her that as long as everyone is healthy, they do not have a problem with it. In my eyes, there are so many things wrong with this, I can hardly even begin. One of the biggest is that she has a 7 year old son who is really struggling with the idea of this new baby and is not excited and says that the baby is going to replace him. So she is going to have the baby, and then 3 weeks later go off on a vacation with mom, dad, and baby, and not him??? How does she think he is going to understand this? Beyond that, I just find it so extremely irresponsible to put a newborn through that travel, and that sickness exposure so early on. And how is she going to have fun?? They are going with 12 other adults and no kids!  This was booked before she got pregnant but I would have cancelled my trip the second I found out I was pregnant. I just had to bitch about this somewhere because this is so selfish in so many ways and I just cannot even with her right now.

kdanjou

My bitch is that I went to bed at 9:00 EST last night and missed the best part of the game!  Waaaah!

jc_twomamas

@JAGinMI come again? Aside from all of the other large red flags with her son and bringing a newborn on an adult vacation where she is likely to be miserable...

I had had a c section with DS. I know everyone's recovery is different, but how the hell is she going to even manage moving around that much 22 days PP/post c section? 22 days! 

mamaelle27

I mustered up the energy to make chicken salad this morning and was so looking forward to lunch. My husband devoured his, my toddler kept taking bites and spitting it out in disgust, I took one bite and gagged. Guess my chicken aversion is not over, and now my toddler's joining in. I also have chicken in the crock pot for dinner that I probably won't be able to eat. This is why I end up eating fast food all the time and blowing our budget. Ugh!

@JAGinMI, what?! How could she possibly travel so soon after birth, especially a c-section? How will she manage all the logistics that come with a newborn? Why on earth would she expect that to be fun? And what about the poor son? Plus, germs! Ack!

JAGinMI

@devow27 I have not had a C-section so I don't know personally, but I would agree that it seems like you would not want to be schlepping through an airport 3 weeks later and then trying to have fun in the sun for a week after that. I mean, can she even safely go in the pool or the ocean? She had a C-section with her son, though, and I recall she had a rough time in the hospital but I don't remember what she said about that recovery - I guess she isn't worried about it, though!

@mamaelle27 I know! I agree on the timing after a C - see my previous paragraph! And yeah, I think what bothers me the most is what the fallout might be with her son and that she is not giving it any thought at all. She is so sensitive and feels like any question is an attack so I can't even ask if she's thought about that without her presuming that I think she's the worst mom in the world.

Honestly, I think she is thinking she will actually get her C-section at or around 37w because that is what happened with her son due to previa and pre-eclampsia (the previa has not been confirmed to still be an issue yet, and she does not have pre-e, yet - I can just see her thinking it's all going to go the same). So I think in her head she's thinking she will be recovering for 6w prior, and will be taking a 6 week old (even then, I still think it's insane, but I can see her being like "that's 3 more weeks! We will be totally fine!" and again, ignoring the issue of her son not getting to go). As for the baby not being immunized for anything yet and going on an international flight, she just shrugs it off with a "I am not going to live my life in fear". What do you say to someone like that? 

JAGinMI

@devow27 I am so sorry you are dealing with that, that is such a frustrating and sad situation. It is a matter of time until it comes to a head and blows up in his face, and I just pray that it is not at the expense of someone else. I cannot imagine what you can do when no one else is on board to push him to get serious professional help, other than give it a shot alone? I would guess that that is a very awkward and difficult situation to try to broach alone, though...

CapricaAndrea

I really hate that now that I'm pregnant, every time DH and I remember a situation slightly differently from each other, he dismisses my version as me just forgetting what happened because of "pregnancy brain"

Its not not like it's an uncommon thing either, nor is it just a small issue. We've been dealing with his anxiety our whole relationship and part of that is that he often perceives situations very differently from how they were intended, especially if he's stressed out. If he thinks someone is mad at him for example, then he sees conversations as very hostile even when they're not. 

He gets frustrated about these "miscommunications" as he labels them, so the simplest things end up in arguements. For example the other day as I was heading for the shower he asked if I wanted a breakfast wrap. 
I thought: "ugh, I don't really want one but it's probably better for the protein content"
I said: "meh, I don't know, maybe"
and by the time I got out of the shower he was already making it because he heard: "ooh yes, that sounds really good!" 
Which then started a big arguement because he blamed it on me being pregnant and remembering the events wrong, and not wanting to own up to changing my mind. UGH! He also didn't believe me yesterday that he pulled out in front of a car when leaving the gas station, because he didn't see it and the other driver had slowed down and didn't honk at him or anything to indicate that he'd done anything wrong. 

I know it's his anxiety coming out and he can't help it, but it's hard not to feel a bit selfish sometimes especially with all the extra hormones and feeling crappy. His job is stressing him out right now, and on top of that he's stressing out about being able to provide (in every sense of the word) for our unborn baby, but I'm literally growing another human being, can't I at least get a break from dealing with this stuff for a few months?! 
:exhausted: 

jc_twomamas

@JAGinMI thank you. We're close, so I know I can approach it on my own...I just wonder how his parents would perceive it. I'm close with them as well, but I guess I feel like I *may* be stepping on their toes if I forge the way? I don't know. It's high on my priority list to at least begin the conversation with him that there's high concern. We roll with the same group of friends and it's known with all of our friends that he needs help so maybe that's where we start. 

neludelu

devow27 said:

@JAGinMI thank you. We're close, so I know I can approach it on my own...I just wonder how his parents would perceive it. I'm close with them as well, but I guess I feel like I *may* be stepping on their toes if I forge the way? I don't know. It's high on my priority list to at least begin the conversation with him that there's high concern. We roll with the same group of friends and it's known with all of our friends that he needs help so maybe that's where we start. 

I think you're doing the right thing morally. But I come from a family of addicts and I can see this blowing up in your face big time. I think you should go ahead because you might save a life but just be prepared for the possible fall out. Logic isn't the top priority of an addict or their enabling loved ones. 

danij0

@Elyse1384 - I totally agree. All major sports events should have earlier start times. Everyone is going to watch regardless. 
Being in eastern timezone the World Series was killer with all the super late start times throughout the playoffs then especially Game 7 starting at 8PM and going until 1:30AM on a Wednesday. It was rough. 
I only stayed up until OT last night and 10PM is still past my bedtime. 

jennas312

Health insurance isn't covering my cell free dna test because lab was out of network. Charging me $700 +. I called Natera and they said they appealed it and I'll probably have to pay $200.
Ugh. My doctor sent me to the out of network making it seem like only place I could get it done,what other choice did I have? Office manager was out at my dr. so I'll see what they say. Other friend at work did same thing and her's was covered 100%.

silliegirlie143

@devow27 Good luck with this process! I find myself being fearful for you in terms of blow-back only because I'm projecting my experiences upon you. Living with an addict and an enabler taught me a lot about what can go wrong.
My advice, take it or leave it, is to get some professional help in structuring the conversation(s). 

Also, what input does DH have, since this is his family? I know that as much as I would feel compelled to reach out and help, my priority would be to preserve my home relationship and protect my spouse.

Stankonia2014

Fvcking Target got my hopes up and said that my insurance covered pumps and I receive an email today saying they're only covered if baby requires a NICU stay or has a cleft palate. 

Great. Grand. Wonderful.

I also just realized I've been spelling palate wrong this entire time.

Fvck you, Monday!

swanbrooner

@Stankonia2014 I thought they had to be covered under ACA. Insurance is so vexing.

keniialise

My oldest got a new teacher aide in his preschool class, during pick up the other teachers were trying to remember if I knew the sex of this baby and asked boy or girl.. I replied I wasn't sure. The new teacher aide looks at me, my son and his little sister who I had with me and blurts out "was this one planned?!" I replied with "yes, planned" she then gasped and wide eyed and asked "really?!" -- maybe it's just my hormones but I really wanted to punch her and then let her know I had one more in the class next door. I've of course dealt with people judging my family size before, but this was the first blatantly rude response I've had.  

ladylolly89

Stankonia2014 said:

Fvcking Target got my hopes up and said that my insurance covered pumps and I receive an email today saying they're only covered if baby requires a NICU stay or has a cleft palate. 

Great. Grand. Wonderful.

I also just realized I've been spelling palate wrong this entire time.

Fvck you, Monday!

Have you tried contacting your insurance company itself? 

alm52386

@devow27 If you do talk with your BIL just keep in mind he might deny everything! We have a friend who is for sure an alcoholic and DH is very careful when he talks to her about things. She absolutely does not think she has a problem. Even though her Dr told her she is on her way to cirrhosis. Most addicts have to have their life fall completely apart to seek help. Also, they won't change or get anything out of AA unless they really truly have a desire to stop drinking. It's sad to watch a friend or family member go through this and not really be able to do anything. 

jc_twomamas

@silliegirlie143 Thank you. DH is pretty emotional about it, BIL is his only sibling and they are pretty close. DH sways between wanting to protect him and brush it all under the rug and wanting to talk with him about professional help. I think if anything, he will want to be a part of the conversation. I don't think he would want me to do it without him...nor would I do it "behind" his back. I tread lightly and bring it up only when it seems he's in a place to talk about it. He told me Friday night that he wasn't in a place right now, so I let it be. It'll come up again sometime this week. 

@alm52386 he's the king of denial and lies about a lot of stuff. I know he has major guilt (over a DUI he got at 19 years old, wrapped his car around a tree almost killing himself and his best friend) and some level of depression...he compares himself often to DH sand their family as if he's the "screw up". He just never has been able to be fully transparent and confident since that accident/DUI. My in laws are very well put together and "to-do" type people, and DH is an engineer...I'm prepared for the denial and have a substantial amount of information from his job and our close friends about recent issues/drunk driving. Gahhhhhh! 

Edit-words

michaela0704

@keniialise sorry you got that response... I've started to get some of those, even one of the OB's in the practice I'm at during my anatomy scan... people just need to respect families that choose to have more children like I can respect their choice to only have 1 or 2.  It's not like we are turning into the Duggar family over here... it is only #3!!

jc_twomamas

@keniialise I wouldn't have been able to contain my b*tchy response back. Yikes. 
This baby is number 2 for us, but (hopefully) it isn't our last. We'd love 3, mayyybe even 4. I get asked constantly if this baby is our last. People are always shocked when I say no...

What are we missing? Why is it such a surprise to the world when people want more then 2 kids? 

Stankonia2014

swanbrooner said:

@Stankonia2014 I thought they had to be covered under ACA. Insurance is so vexing.

The military insurance I have is 'grandfathered'. It's the insurance plan for retirees, so I assume they didn't anticipate having to cover pumps often.

ETA: @ladylolly89, yeah, I called them and got the same response.

teacher mom-2

DH is a cyber school teacher and his company just booked him last minute to do in office testing Thursday during my anatomy scan with the high risk doctors. I want to Hulk smash things. I hate his company! He is going to try to rearrange it when he gets to work tomorrow. 

BellaO21

Aeroflow was supposed to contact me back, regarding the status of my breastpump, within 3-5 business days (which would've been between the 1st and the 3rd).... I have yet to hear anything from them. So annoyed... I sent them an email and if I don't hear anything by Friday I'm going to call them. 
I hate being told I'll get a response in x amount of time and when that time passes I don't hear anything. Biggest pet peeve, ever.

ladylolly89

Stankonia2014 said:

swanbrooner said:

@Stankonia2014 I thought they had to be covered under ACA. Insurance is so vexing.

The military insurance I have is 'grandfathered'. It's the insurance plan for retirees, so I assume they didn't anticipate having to cover pumps often.

ETA: @ladylolly89, yeah, I called them and got the same response.

michaela0704

I'm on the outs with some friends from college that are expecting... except I'm not sure they know that we are on the outs and I was invited to the shower but don't even want them to know I'm pregnant, I just don't want them part of my life right now.

I need to send a gift, as I wish them the best with their little one but the gifts are either overpriced stuff that only FTMs register for ~$20 or less (no offense to any of our members here)... or super expensive... or giftcards.  I'm so annoyed as I hate having to go off the registry, but I just might, but it makes me angry to have to do it instead of just sending a gift card which is absolutely not my style. 

Just so pissed off at the moment that I don't want to send anything at all... but I can't not send something either. 

jgil85

I feel like this is a petty complaint but my mom is driving me nuts with regards to the baby shower! She wants to host it and do a joint shower with my mil but she doesn't want any of the responsibilities. I keep trying to politely tell her that it cannot fall on my mil, I have 3 sisters who said they are more than willing to help but she still keeps saying that mil can do it all! 

I'm ready to tell her I'd rather have two separate showers just so that it forces her to do something. I had to plan my sister's baby shower and while I did not mind at all, at the end of the day she took all the credit! She is literally the worst party planner, always has been. 

Ooh boy that got long, sorry but I just needed to get it off my chest! 

Knottie42089123

Daycare prices are a total bitch. Near my work they average 2000-2200/month and near my home it's 1400-1600/month. Ugh. I'll continue making my comparison spreadsheet and figure out what the hell to do

sejica

@Knottie42089123 I'd recommend the one closest to your home, so that if you decide to take a personal day from work, you can still take advantage of day care without having to basically drive to work. I'm assuming the drop off/pick up times are still manageable with your work schedule, though obviously that is an important consideration.

awillis13

I second what @sejica said.  I was always so glad I went with a daycare closer to home on days I stayed home sick from work, so I could still bring DS to daycare and have a day to actually rest and recoup from whatever was keeping me home.  It's also helpful if you have family or other supports closer to home that can help in a pinch.

Knottie42089123

@sejica @awillis13 thanks ladies. I had not thought of that. 

Elyse1384

@Knottie42089123 I second the daycare closer to home.  We did this so DH could also share in drop off and pickup responsibilities since we don't work near each other.  Also makes it easier if I need to work remote because the kids have medical appointments (the primary care is all near our house).  That way I can pick them up and return them to daycare quickly/easily without having to take time off work.  

silliegirlie143

Yes! What the pp's said!
we used to have DD enrolled at a DC right next to the Mr's work. He could go visit her on lunch, next felt rushed for a pickup, etc. Those benefits were nice.

BUT when he left that job I had to drive past my work to do pick up and drop offs. It was awful! 

Now DD is at a D.C. Close to our house and it's so much better. Plus, she's making friends who live in our area. There's also a chance they will go to the same school(s) when they get older. Play dates and bday parties are SO much more convenient, too!!

merrylea

fvck.

The contractor (a family friend) who said he would remodel our upstairs (so we would have room for us and baby( had my stepfather call me and tell me that he didn't feel comfortable doing the work.  This is after we had subs (plumbing/HVAC/Electrical) all lined up.  We'll have to find a plan B, but I wish he would have told us a while ago before we put the plan in motion. 

I may have cried over the phone to my husband this morning.  

michaela0704

@Knottie42089123 I have to go against the grain here on daycare locations... I'm somewhat spoiled having my center within a block of my office building and in general have a lot of meetings that make it hard to break away.  When your kid is sick you get a call and then the clock starts, you have to get them within an hour... so depending on how far your commute is, you may have to drop everything and bolt out of the office.  Also, what if you were in a meeting and get back to your desk and there is a missed call/voicemail where you won't have enough time to make it.

For my family, it costs a little more but we use the one near my office and I'm able to attend all holiday and parent events without taking time off work (e.g., holiday sing at 10am on a Wednesday in December or being the parent reader for 'Read for the Record').  Also, one of my kids has allergies so knowing I can get to him almost immediately and/or ride in an ambulance (if, God forbid, it was ever needed) is so comforting.  

I remember I was in a Montessori school near my childhood home, mom and dad worked downtown (~ 40 minutes no traffic) when I fell off the slide on the playground/broke my arm when I was 4.  I was getting X-rays and surrounded by doctors with the daycare director.  I vividly remember my mom bursting into the exam room as soon as she was able to get to me but I can imagine it being so stressful and heartbreaking not being able to be there for your kid in an emergency.  FTR I had to have my surgery to pin my elbow so it was a pretty serious set of fractures... my parents felt so guilty about the situation, I got the Quints set I had been asking for forever but my parents had said 'no'.

Knottie42089123

@michaela0704 the daycare in my building is pricier (2200) but is literally one floor downstairs from me. I'd be able to go down and nurse and be there for whatever I guess. But I'd be taking my babe out for over an hour commute in the morning and almost an hour home. Decisions decisions. Btw I was definitely not thinking of the cost of childcare AT ALL when thinking of starting a family. My parents watched my sister's kids for free! That was many moons ago and my folks are up in age so I don't plan to ask for help.