February WTO

TScalei

Welcome to another month of waiting to O....

brooklyngirl18

oh hey, i'll jump over here now. AF came yesterday and I'm just so bummed, I really thought I had a shot last cycle with fantom symptoms and longer lp but nope. I go in tomorrow for baseline and bloodwork. I'm expecting to starting up clomid for iui cycle 3. 

RiverSong15

I'm so sorry for CD1 @brooklyngirl18. Will this be your first cycle on Clomid? FX that this is all you'll need for this cycle to be it!

TScalei

Ugh Im so sorry @brooklyngirl18. Hopefully the Clomid will help bring you your rainbow baby. But CD1 just always sucks. ):

brooklyngirl18

@RiverSong15 this will be my third cycle with clomid, ovidrel injection for ovulation and iui. i had such high hopes when we started medicated cycles but it still hasn't worked. hoping three times the charm.

good luck to all the ladies here!

SP128

@brooklyngirl18 sorry for cd1. Always hard 

Mommyamp

Cp/Mc on 1/9....still waiting to O. Sigh...

justsuzie

@brooklyngirl18  Sorry you are back.  Fresh start.

@Mommyamp  Sorry it's taking a while.  Hopefully 0 is right around the corner.

AFM-----trigger warning loss-------

Bleeding stopped yesterday from my CP.  My temps are ALL over the place so I just stopped temping and don't plan on OPKS either.  We are going to hold off this cycle and ntnp.  I need some time away from charting everything my body does.  It's slowly turning me into a TYPE A personality and that is soooo not me. At least this means I can enjoy sex again and not worry about timing...

TScalei

Sorry you have to go through all of this again @justsuzie. Hopefully a quick break will make you feel a bit better. I hear you about all of this turning you into a type A personality....what fun!

Mommyamp

@justsuzie my temps were all over the place too at first. They finally started leveling out around day 16. I'm on cd25 right now though and still no O. Enjoy the break. I probably should have taken a break as well but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't know how else to cope really.

vlagrl29

@justsuzie- sex is so much better when you are not worrying about the timing.  We are doing it this way until either we get a BFP or our year mark comes.

justsuzie

@vlagrl29 We are ntnp until the summer which will be about one year since our first loss.  I will be 37 and we will prob see and RE if nothing happens before then.   

vlagrl29

@justsuzie- I will be 37 at the end of May.  For whatever reason my age doesn't concern me as much as I wonder if something is wrong with me.  June will mark our 1 year TTC.  My spotting had stopped yesterday and it started up again this afternoon but its very light.  I just can't wait to get my Progesterone tested.  I feel like that must be it because all other fertility tests came back great on both of us.  I thought though if we hit the year mark I will try clomid first before IUI.  I just sure hell hope though we get a BFP before then. I still find myself getting sad at times.  Today I was remembering how happy we were when I first got pregnant with out loss back in December.  It just sucks having to start all over again.  I was remembering the way I felt - the slight uterus cramping, sore and full boobs, the smell already kicking in and even how I was starting to hate the taste of coffee.  All that happened the week I got my BFP then the next week BAM gone and symptoms slowly fading away - no more dry heaving.

brooklyngirl18

@justsuzie I'm sorry you're going through this. I relate 100% to this process turning me into a type A also.  i vowed this cycle to stop tracking and obsessing. as much as i HATE when people say i just need to relax and it'll happen, I am starting to think I really do need to just chill the F out. I have been under so much stress recently with ttc and my son and work and everything and I know it's not helping. 

i went to the re today and he seems puzzled as to why after ovulating 5 eggs during 2 iuis I'm still not pregnant. he suggesting doing a laproscopy of my tubes due to my ectopic but I just feel like I dont want an unncessary surgery if all roads are pointing toward ivf anyway. my insurance requires 6 iuis before covering ivf and im currently just starting 3 now. if i do the surgery, i need to take a break and then try iui again so at this point it doesn't seem worth it. I;m going to destress my life and continue with the iui course.

justsuzie

@vlagrl29 I don't even want to research any RE stuff yet because I don't want to get down.  I will also be 37 in May.  I guess I just don't know how to feel.  I've had 3 losses already and all within 6 months.  And, I am the healthiest I have ever been in my life.  I am trying to tell myself that I just have horrible luck and when it happens I will feel so lucky.  

@brooklyngirl18 It seems like your plan of no surgery seems best because you are 1/2 way to the IVF route.  Hopefully your won't need it though.  And I worry with surgery about the scarring that can lead to another ectopic.  I still have nightmares about my ectopic and that is my biggest fear about getting KU again.  I know I couldn't handle that again. How it the not charting/temping/obsessing going for you?  I feel like I might be going even crazier now because I keep wondering if I am setting myself back by not knowing if I O or not.  Oh well, too late now as I am prob CD 8 or 9

dragonfly87-2

@brooklyngirl18  Sorry for CD 1

Mommyamp Sorry for your recent loss...hopefully AF shows up soon.

vlagrl29 Agreed, sex is better when timing is not a factor. I have actually stopped telling DH that it's my FW because the "pressure" causes performance issues. Although he sometimes picks up on it because I want to do it a little more often during that time of month. Ugh.

Currently WTO...CD 9 and got a positive OPK. Thinking O will likely be early this month at CD 11 (had 3 cycles at CD 13 and one other at CD 11). 

This is month 5/cycle 5 for us. 3 TTCAL

Just trying to HIO enough...last night, no success in finishing, tonight was good though.

brooklyngirl18

@justsuzie I'm only on cd4 lol but so far so good. I am also terrified of an ectopic  

justsuzie

I told myself I wouldn't' temp or chart this cycle.  It's hard to tell my head to stop thinking about it.  I think I am around CD 7 or 8.  I felt O pains the last 2 cycles so I am waiting for those twinges again. We are using the pull-out method for out npnt.  We agreed we need a few cycles off.  And as for timing, June-August will be our ttc window.  I think I will be ready by then.  If it happens before then I will be ready for that too, but I am starting a new job in August.  It just make more sense for us to hold off for a while.

vlagrl29

@justsuzie - I gave it all up in November and I felt myself wanting sex more and it wasn't stressful or about performance any more and hasn't been since.  it was just putting too much pressure on both of us.  My personal belief is if you don't let go of that control it's harder for it to happen.  I got my BFP with my loss 1 month after I let go of the control.  We were still having sex about 3 times a week and obviously when I was wiping in November and noticed a HUGE amount of stretchy CM we got it on that night.  I think you can TTC without making it a huge chore and it's still ok to notice your changes and BD accordingly.

SP128

@vlagrl29  Love your attitude about everything.  I feel like I have a stick up my arse with TTC.  

@justsuzie  Congrats on the new job.  Are you still going to be teaching?  It's definitely hard to not think about it.  

justsuzie

@SP128 I will be teaching older kids....finally. The little guys just wear me out.  if I got pg this month or next I'd be working for 2 months at the new job then taking maternity leave. Instead of we are ntnp at least I can trick myself into thinking it's for the best if I don't get KU right away 

TScalei

Congrats on the new job @justsuzie! I'm sure that will be fun teaching older kids - probably more you can do with them too.

RiverSong15

Hello All. I'm back over here. CD1 will be today or tomorrow. At least this cycle was on the short side for me? 

@justsuzie Congrats on the new job! I'm glad you'll be moving to a job you're happier with long term. I hope your time on the bench helps. Sometimes it's easy to get so caught up in prioritizing TTC that it's easy to forget that our entire health (physical, mental, and reproductive) all matter equally. "Letting go of control" or "relaxing" won't help you get pregnant, and tracking your cycle won't make it harder (science shows that pretty clearly), but you still need to do what's best for your overall health. So, do what feels best for you!

Mommyamp

I think I finally o'd today!!! Cd29 following a cp....good grief. I can't confirm until I temp tomorrow but fx my body is finally starting back in the right direction. Unfortunately bd got interrupted by a sick kid last night but we got day -2 so maybe we'll get lucky. Not holding my breath though.

NYTino24

Had to whip out those huge MC pads. CD1 and 2 are whoppers. I had to get up at 4 am to change. I don't want to go to work with this diaper on, but I need to save days.

Mack2342

@NYTino24 ugh. I hate pads I always feel like I'm wearing a diaper.  I had to wear them for the first two cycles after MC.  My cycle is now getting back to normal and I'm on 6th cycle.  Had temp drop today so AF should arrive later today or tomorrow 

justsuzie

@NYTino24 & @Mack2342 I hate pads too but will not use tampons again because of the horror stories I have heard about them. I actually just ordered a diva cup.  I am ready to be a risk taker and take the plunge! 

RiverSong15

Yay for O @MommyAmp!

Sorry for the killer cramps @NYTino24

As for me, I'm waiting impatiently for CD1 to officially start. Spotting still continues. I just want to move on already, uterus! Do your job!

TScalei

@riversong15 - Waiting for AF to start when you know you are already out is the worst. Its like if Im not pg can we at least move this along so I can try to get pg sooner?

SeriouslySirius

I think we're going to NTNP for a few cycles(although I don't know how well I'll do on the NT part....sometimes it feels like that's all I think about). I took the last week to try and process. It feels like last week was the longest week ever. We have an appointment Thursday with the Dr. Not really sure what we'll talk about or do. I made it after talking to the nurse and she suggested it since we're getting closer to the 12 month mark and just had the mc 

amberruka

@TScalei I agree--waiting for AF when you know you're not pg is the worst-at least at CD1 you can start counting again!

Mack2342

@RiverSong15 and @TScalei.   Tapping fingers here too waiting for AF.  Never in my life have I wanted AF to arrive except after these BFNs.  

@SeriouslySirius. If I wasn't approaching 42 I would take a break from all this charting and tracking. It's a lot. Good luck at the doctors.  I'm going tomorrow to see how i can speed this process up if possible 

Mack2342

Well it's official my wait for AF is over.  CD1 here today. Apparently she heard me talking about her! 

SP128

@Mack2342  At least you can start WTO again.  GL at the doctor's tomorrow.  I plan on having a chat with mine during my annual exam late March.  The doc doesn't know it yet, but we will be having a conversation.

@RiverSong15  Spotting is the bane of my existence too when I know I am out.  It is like W.... T.... F!!!! ???

justsuzie

I started kind of charting again and using the opks. I had a darker LH line indicator so I'm thinking my peak surge will be in a few days. We are NOT trying this month. We BD'd last night but DH made sure to deposit the goods  nowhere near pregnancy zone. Tmi, sorry. I'm warding him off until FW is over. And then ntnp from here till summer. 

Mommyamp

@justsuzie I have a diva cup and love it. There is definitely a learning curve though so I recommend wearing a back up liner until you get the hang of it.

NYTino24

I'm about to buy a cup. Went through 5 huge pads in 7 hours. Using a tampon on days when I clot is useless. They need to figure out my blood disorder fast. 

vlagrl29

oh that sounds dreadful @NYTino24 - sorry you are having such a heavy flow this time.  I'm at the tail end of mine with the minimal spotting here and there.

justsuzie

I heard that periods actually make your AF longer.  I don't know if that is a myth or not. 

*tampons not periods.  

NYTino24

@justsuzie I'm not sure! I haven't used anything except for tampons for many years, aside from the MC and this cycle. I do know that my body starts rejecting tampons at the end of AF sometimes.

Mommyamp

My period length didn't change. Some people report less cramping with a cup v. Tampon. I didn't really notice a difference. I love that I can go for more than an hour without having to change the way I did with a tampon though!!