Weekly Pregnancy Chatter & Questions - 1/30

babymish

I thought I'd get one of these Monday threads started.

If anyone has any pregnancy questions or want's to get something off their chest, this is the place to do it  

babymish

I have a question - when does everyone have their first scan booked in for? And have they given you an indication of what you should expect to see?

emwj10187

@babymish I came here to ask the same thing. My doc won't even see me to CONFIRM if im pregnant, until I'm 6 weeks along (Feb 6 is when i go in). I have no idea if they'll also do a scan. This is my first pregnancy and i feel completely in the dark. If they do an ultrasound I'll update. Good luck to you, and congrats!

mommac2017

@babymish, I think it depends on where you live. Where I live, we don't have a first appointment until 12 weeks!!!! And we only get ONE ultrasound at 20 weeks. Unless you're high risk. 

Your OB office should be able to tell you what to expect at your first appointment

emwj10187

Ok here's a big question. This is for mom's who've been pregnant before and work full time. When did you tell your boss, and how did you do it? I'm only 5 weeks, which is way tooooo early to say anything ( i know) but it's been something i've been thinking about. Assuming all goes well, I plan to tell him around 12-13 weeks. My boss is a very kind man, who I'm sure would be thrilled for my husband and I, but we aren't necessarily "close" where I can pull him aside and say "guess what?!" I'd love to hear how others have finessed this delicate situation.

mommac2017

@emwj10187, when I got pregnant with DS, I told my manager right away. I didn't want to initially but I had just been offered a really big promotion at work and felt like I needed to be upfront as to why I was turning it down. Although many would say it was "too early", I was actually really grateful I did it when I did. I ended up being very sick during first trimester and needed to take quite a few sick days. She was extremely understanding. 

Just a different perspective for you because you don't have to do everything "by the book" in terms of "when to tell people". 

babymish

I'm probably mostly interested in what to expect. In the UK you generally wouldn't get a 1st scan with the NHS until around 12 weeks, but as we conceived through IVF we will have one earlier. So our first scan will be at 6weeks 1 day. 9 days from now.

I'm hoping this will be far enough along to see some reassuring things but googling information brings mixed reviews.

emwj10187

@mommac2017 Thanks! that's helpful. Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were when you told your boss?

mommac2017

Need to get this off my chest...

TW:

I had a MMC in September 2016. Now that I am pregnant again, I am completely terrified. I went for my second blood draw today to find out my HCG levels and I'm actually terrified to hear the results. I just want to cry I feel so stressed out about it all. I wish there was a way to speed up this process and get me to my 12 week appointment where I can hear that heartbeat. 

mommac2017

Oh. And a total random!

When I got pregnant last time, I got this weird zit on my face. It wasn't really a zit though. Don't know how to describe it. 

Anyways, it would NOT go away!!! Even long after my MC, it was still there. I assumed it was permanent now. 

Well, about a week after my BFP this time, I noticed that it's gone!!!!

I told my DH and he thinks I'm a freak, but I think it's weirdly coincidental! Maybe something with my hormones?

mommac2017

@emwj10187, oh sorry! I should have said. I found out super early last time. So if I remember correctly I was only 4w1d when I told her!!! Nuts right?! Haha! I work in a hospital, so I actually had one of the doctors confirm my pregnancy with a blood test the day before. Didn't want to announce anything based on POAS. Haha

mommac2017

@babymish, at 6 weeks you might be able to see the heartbeat. But you might not either. So try not t get disheartened if you don't. I believe it's around 6 weeks that you can start to see it though. 

emwj10187

@mommac2017 Not nuts at all!! Super exciting. My doc wont confirm until 6 weeks, so I guess I'll wait until then to really make a decision. Meanwhile, I'll POAS every other day to make sure I'm still pregnant (hehe).

I am so sorry to hear about your MC. Sending you all the baby bean vibes and whatever else you need this time around! Good luck to you and Congrats!

mommac2017

@emwj10187, thank you! 
And I hear you! I've done 5 POAS...

laeberge3

@mommac2017  I hear you on the PGAL brain. I had a second beta draw on Friday and hardly was able to accomplish anything waiting for the result that afternoon. *TW*  I've had a CP before where numbers didn't rise so I was terrified. With my MC, I never did betas til things weren't going well so I was (at the time) blissfully unaware and it sucks that that is stolen from you with loss. *end TW*. My numbers went up and I have another beta tomorrow, so here's to hoping I can be productive while waiting.

I'll probably have multiple scans this pregnancy due to my history of loss. If the beta rises appropriately my RE will schedule an US probably at 5-6 weeks. Don't even get me started on the fear of having that done again. 

mommac2017

@laeberge3, I'm so sorry for your loss. As horrible as it is to say, it's comforting knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'm hoping my OB calls tomorrow with my results. Although they have a "no news is good news" policy so I kind of don't want her to call. I'll call Wednesday if I don't hear anything tomorrow. 

sjohns908

@mommac2017 I hear you. *TW* I had a loss in November and waiting for my second beta results this time just about drove me over an edge with anxiety. I had 2 CPs last spring also *end TW* I had my second draw on a friday so I didn't heat anything until Monday! 

@emwj10187 I just want to throw out there to be careful with the poas around 6 weeks. Usually at 6 weeks, your hcg levels are so high that it causes what they call the "hook effect". This is where your levels are too high and it confuses the test, so your test line actually gets fainter. I freaked the hell out when this happened to me last pregnancy and after googling, I learned this is actually a legit thing 

emwj10187

@sjohns08 Thanks for the heads up. Im seeing the doc at 6weeks+1 so hopefully my urge will be soothed by good confirmation

dinosaur

emwj10187 - I told my Boss and my two office mates today. I'm not good at keeping secrets. I can't hide how tired I am and I'm sure it's only going to get worse. 

Had an appointment with the GP today, and I will go to my first prenatal appointment on feb 14th! 

nhoover88

When did you tell family (Moms, Dads, Siblings, kids)? Just wondering. I haven't told them yet, but planning on it Sunday. I will be 5W6D. My 1st appointment is 2/16. I wanted to wait, but it is so hard keeping this secret from my mom!

emwj10187

@nmingram I told my mom and my sister the day i got a positive test. They both would have been so upset if i didn't tell them. I told my father and my aunt (I'm very close to her) this past weekend. Everyone else we plan to tell after my first dr. visit. Im 5 weeks+2

nhoover88

@emwj10187 thank you! I have been keeping this secret/surprise for almost 2 weeks now and it's killing me!! We work together everyday. This is her 1st grandbaby! We are having everyone over for my stepsons b-day and we're telling them at the end.

Megzb510

@nmingram we have been going thru IVF so I've told my parents and close friends. I want to wait til our second beta doubles tomorrow to tell his family. We told them right away with our November FET and *TW* we ended up with a chemical. *end TW*

babymish

@nmingram we conceived through ivf so our parents were told as soon as we got a positive test. They have been supporting us the whole time. My boss also knows as I had to tell her about the ivf at the start so she could be helpful with some flexible working hours. 

Other than that we will announce when we reach 12 weeks. I'm really excited about it and trying to think up some ideas for our announcement.

beezeee

I called yesterday to schedule my first appointment with my ob and I first have to schedule a phone appointment/interview with her nurse. Then the nurse will schedule my appointment. I thought that was odd. With my first pregnancy, I just called and got in with my ob around 7 weeks. I'm in a different hospital system now because of insurance reasons, but I've never heard of anyone having to do the phone interview before.

Regarding scans, with DD I had a scan at my first appointment around 7-8 weeks to check for the heartbeat. It was just with a little low quality portable machine. They also scheduled me for a more detailed dating scan the following week, to come up with a due date since my cycle is irregular. My understanding is that they don't do this with everyone. But every doctor/hospital is different. I have no idea what to expect now that I'm in a new system.

beezeee

@nmingram I told my mom right away, because we're very close and I am horrible at keeping secrets from her. When I was pregnant with DD, we told the rest of my immediate family and DH's family after we had our first ob appt., around 8 weeks I think. We plan to do the same this time around. We will tell friends and extended family after 12 weeks.

@emwj10187 I will not tell work until after 12 weeks. We are a close group but my boss is very focused on business and not much for personal conversation. The exception is if I'm having a hard time with nausea, fatigue, etc. then I may tell him earlier so he doesn't think I'm slacking.

SwtAnana

@nmingram I haven't told any family yet. We want to wait until we hear the heartbeat and the plan is to tell my parents that night and his parents in person that weekend (they live 20 minutes away but my parents live several states away!)

We want to be able to announce it to them with a sonogram picture so hopefully we only have to keep this secret from them for 2 more weeks.  They know our struggles and have been extremely supportive of our journey.  We've purposely been vague about when the embryo was transferred because a lot of the surprise element has been taken away from us ....so we figured it'd be nice to surprise them.  The plan is to tell the bosses/close family and friends at the end of the first trimester and then to slowly tell others that we're not as close to as I start to show.

It's kinda nice to have this secret with DH but I also want to shout it from the mountaintops!

sdarling2010

@beezeemarie I have the same "phone interview" appointment with the nurse before my first actual appointment with the Midwives, too. Last time I had an appointment with the nurse for vitals and then appointment with the Midwives. Same insurance, same office as last time! So odd!

"phone interview" is scheduled for 2/9. First prenatal appointment is 2/24. I'm ready to get this started!

mommac2017

@nmingram, with DS we told our parents and siblings 2 days after BFP. With our second pregnancy, DH wanted to wait a bit so we told them at 8 weeks. We ended up having a MMC with that pregnancy and I'm glad they knew so they could be of support. This pregnancy DH and I have different opinions. He wants to keep it a secret until we hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks, and I want support and prayers. So we told my parents and my sister and BIL the day after BFP. We are waiting to tell DH's parents and our other siblings until after 12 weeks. It was a hard compromise to make but it was what we both needed. 

Mommaswizz

With my first we told at about 6 weeks and I totally wish we had waited longer. While totally loving and excited, my family and DH's family were also totally annoying and it made the pregnancy feel like it lasted FOR-EV-ER. I was really hoping to wait till at least the first appointment (2/22) but i'm not sure we'll be able to keep this a secret till then. I would love to keep this between DH + i a little longer, we shall see how well that works. 

firefly72533

@beezeemarie my 1st appointment is scheduled for the 27th of February.  A nurse will be calling me prior to go over history.  She'll go over your family's medical history.  She'll ask you if you've had any miscarriages/abortions, any surgeries, have any family members been diagnosed with  cancer, etc.  It's meant to make sure your records are up-to-date, and to make sure you're not at risk.  This will be my 3rd nurse interview.  My other two were once before a miscarriage, and then 3 months later when I was due with my son.

@nmingram We told our parents and siblings, because they're our support system. We know they won't tell until we're ready.  Which won't be until after the 12 week scan. If anything happens they'll help out with our son. 
For us, we wait. With our 1st baby we found out I had miscarried at our 11 week appointment. I saw the heart beat at 7 weeks, and they stopped growing at 8. So, just like with our son, we told our support system but will wait to tell the rest of the family until after the 1st trimester.
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer.  This is just who we told and why.

beezeee

@firefly72533 that makes sense. They said it would take 30 minutes. It's scheduled for tomorrow, so we will see!

sjohns908

@nmingram with our first and second, we told our parents within 3 days of our bfp. With our third, we told them about a month after we found out. With our 4th, only my mom knew since she was working for me and I felt awful, I figured I should just tell her *TW* we lost that pregnancy at 10 weeks and knowing that only us and my mom had had time to get attached and excited was a relief *end TW*

This time we can't decide. Probably not until after our u/s on the 13th

azerimama

I waited until I was about 8 weeks before I told my boss with DD. I only had to tell because I was working in a call center and needed to be able to use the bathroom a lot more than what is normally permitted. This time around, I work for a completely different place and told my boss yesterday out of necessity. I have been so sick with this pregnancy, that I didn't want him thinking I was coming to work hung over or something. He's very family oriented, so he's very happy for me. First boss, not so much....  

There are pros and cons to keeping it under wraps longer, but each person is different, each boss is different. Just do what feels right to you. T

emwj10187

I'm not really sure where to post this, but i came acorss this today and thought some of these were pretty funny. 

Vintage Pregnancy & Parenting "advice"....ENJOY!

https://offbeat.topix.com/slideshow/18017?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=18017&utm_term=H5H5F8VRH2R3NJNV

mamafromthepnw

@beezeemarie I had to do a phone interview with a nurse with my first. They just asked a TON of basic questions, and gave me a run down of what to do (vitamins, etc) and what not to do (alcohol, smoking, roller coasters, etc.). They also asked questions about whether I wanted certain tests done. Pretty basic stuff that I think they just don't want to drag out through the first appointment. 

I've moved since then and my new OB just scheduled an appointment for 8 weeks with no other information.

dinosaur

Am I the only one who really really really wants to participate but is so tired they can hardly type a sentence? 

anna97-2

@Dinosaur , I feel your pain, I already fell asleep today at work!! I was just resting my head on my desk...  

dinosaur

@Anna97 -  I have been going to sleep by 9:30 pm and i'm still tired the next day!

mamafromthepnw

@Dinosaur @Anna97 I took a three hour nap today instead of doing basically all the things I need to get done.

anna97-2

@mamafromthepnw haha, I've already called my DH to ask if we can get takeaway tonight so I don't have to cook.
If anyone has any suggestions to combat tiredness I am ALL EARS.  Or are these symptoms just something we have to live with haha.