How are all the working mom-to-bes doing?

brooklynmama718

I'm 21 weeks tomorrow and teaching full-time and commuting via nyc mta two hours per day. Morning and afternoon... I don't really get seats on the train unless I take off my coat to show belly. Every other day I spend time with my mom because my dad refuses to retire (he'll be 70) and my mom's health isn't well. My sister goes on the other days. On the other days, I try to remain sane, work on my never ending dissertation and rest. I eat dinner with DH every evening when he gets home from work.

How does everyone else's week look? Any self- care rituals? On Saturday, I booked a prenatal yoga class. It's my first and it's well overdue. 

dolphinkates11

I'm a nurse working 12 hour nights.  Pretty much one week on, one week off.  By my Fri, which is tonight right now, I am burnt out and my brain is fried.  Hubby has been doing most of the cooking and cleaning which means our house is a disaster.  Fortunately my energy on my off week is starting to pick up, so I'll get the house back in order.

@NYCProf, that sounds like a bitch of a commute.  I'm so glad we moved away from the Seattle area, I couldn't stand the two hour round trip commute.  Now I drive to work, 25 minutes one way.  What do you teach?

Stankonia2014

My week is pretty easy compared to PPs, so I won't even complain there, but my days as of late have been consisting of work, then heading to the rehab facility to see my dad, however, he's finally home as of Saturday, so this week is back to normal. I was getting pretty burnt out. 

I'll work until I give birth. Starting in March or April I'll get to work from home 3-4 days a week, so that'll be nice right around the end of pregnancy.

LMMama

My first pregnancy my schedule was pretty similar to yours @NYCProf. I had an hour and a half commute into Philadelphia on 2 trains each way. It was exhausting in itself, so I totally feel your pain. 

I ended up making a career change and am now a full time grad student in an internship. I only have a 25 min drive commute now and I only work til 2, so it's certainly less stressful. My most stressful part is working full time and not getting paid a dime  And it's nice that my internship ends at the end of May right around when the baby is supposed to be born. What's not nice is that I have to worry about finding a job by Sept. 

After work I pick up my DD from school, I'll clean up the house, handle dinner, take care of her and all that. I do my school work after she goes to bed and hang out with my DF. 

michaela0704

I'm having a hard time concentrating as I am just too uncomfortable to sit at my desk for the entire day... lots of walking loops around my floor and bathroom trips (and I don't really have to go most times).

My commute in one of the worst traffic cities in the US is a joke as I live intown, so thank goodness I don't have to deal with that but I'm losing my patience in my current role as there is a lot of politics and people constantly splitting hairs on things that don't matter at the end of the day.  I literally said yesterday 'how much time and energy (i.e., cost) are we going to put into managing perception vs. knowing that we are all on the same page and doing what we should be?'  which I know isn't all that bad but I'm tired of people getting bent out of shape because one of my operational folks didn't word something perfectly in an email or that the organization that I support isn't perfect and do everything the way legal or others in the governance arena would have done it had they done it themselves.

If I'm over it now, I'll barely have any patience to speak of come 3rd tri... so hopefully I will still have a job after this LO  

neludelu

So far so good. I changed careers back in July and I'm still adjusting to the new culture. My previous job allowed for teleworking 4-5 days a week, this new job doesn't offer teleworking and that's a rough adjustment. I now have a 2 hour commute round trip. My only major complaint (and it's a silly one) is that they are really big on a healthy office so anytime you're sick you're expected to use sick leave. I don't have much leave right now and I'm constantly sick because I have a 17 month old in daycare. I've had to use so many sick days because I had a cold or looked too sick for work. If I weren't pregnant I would looove the policy but it's stressful and causes tension in the office because I push the boundaries. For the record I work in HR ina cube and have very little interaction with anyone. 

beckij34

I'm a secretary for my local school district (administration building). Right now I'm in my slow time at work and while it's nice some days feel like it's just dragging on. I'm planning to work up until I give birth. My commute is only 30 minutes so it's not too bad. 

huskermom14

I'm a nurse working 12 hr nights as well. Most of the time I do 3 in a row, which is really nice, but also so exhausting. By the end of my 3 shifts I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I'm finding that I get pretty sore into my shift and it just gets worse as the shift goes on, so it'll be interesting to see how much worse that gets the bigger I get. 

Overall I can't complain though. I work postpartum and there are currently 4 of us nights girls who are pregnant so everyone is pretty understanding and helps out when it's needed. 

berg

I have also have an hour commute each way.  I'm up at 5 and hopefully home around 6.  Long days that will continue all the way to D Day.  I live for the weekend when I have a second to catch my breath and have a little bit of me time.  
@Lmmtravels We're planning on moving out of state when our lease is up in August.  The idea of trying to find a job while trying to keep a newborn alive is slightly stressful...

tjvan

I have a pretty demanding job and work long hours. I get to the office at 6:30am which has never been a problem for me before, but is starting to get more difficult (we work 9-hr days opposed to 8-hr days).  Ive been feeling pretty stressed, but this year is my most busy time so I'm trying to remember that it won't always feel this way. Just hard to get in working out and eating well on top of it all.

And... I am definitely a worker bee, but I work a lot with the top level of the company, and I can't help but feel like my growing belly draws attention to the fact that I'm a young woman in an industry of middle aged white men (oil and gas).  I know it's silly, and that growing a human is incredible, but I can't help but feel a little embarrassed sometimes.

mombod

We recently moved so my commute is 5 minutes now. Life changing! Work is fine... no issues. I pass on going into chemical processing areas and do not climb on the top of the aircraft. Other than that nothing is different. I plan to work until I go into labor. Last time my water broke getting ready to go in.

FSUNole31

I teach 6th grade and this is my first full time year back since the spring of 2014.  I am not adjusting well.  I miss being a SAHM who was able to just work part time hours.  I came back because we want to pay off some debt so we can move into a bigger house in a better school zone before my oldest starts school.  I teach the lowest level readers at my school and have some pretty hard to manage behavior issues in a few of my classes.  Overall though, I am managing.  I am living for spring break and secretly hoping the baby comes a tiny bit early so I can get out of school a little earlier for the summer.  Kids last day is May 25 this year which is nice so I shouldn't have to miss too many work days. 

LAMCH1980

I'm tired just reading some of your schedules! Hang in there girls! My commute is anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half depending on traffic. The time on the road in traffic is stressful. Work is physically demanding and sometimes risky, so I'm weighing out doing just enough to stay out there earning money while trying to stay safe. I'm an independent contractor, so there are plenty of people just waiting to swoop up my work forever if I can't handle it. That is stressful. 

silliegirlie143

I manage the Training Dept for my office. My team is responsible for new hire and leadership training for a staff of +/-500 salespeople.

I generally work 50-60 hours a week but I have a pretty short commute. My boss is super understanding about pregnancy exhaustion and keeps encouraging me to "take it a little easier" but I want to save that good will for the end of the pregnancy. This is what makes being sick such a beast!!

I plan on working up until the bitter end but I felt bad when one of my people requested vacation time for the end of May and I had to deny it. Yeah... no thanks on that! I'm not going to commit to teaching his class 2 weeks before my guess date...

danij0

After reading all of your schedules I feel very lucky with my work situation. I have a 20-30 minute commute (each way). I work 9-5:30 Mon-Fri and my supervisor is very flexible for appointments, etc. We are pretty slow right now so it isn't stressful at all.
DH and I still haven't decided if I will be a SAHM or work part time after baby is born. I'm really hoping to find a part time work from home job but I think it will be really difficult to find one. We'll see.

Heliumgirl717

I'm in the same boat as most of you Momma's out. there. My commute is an hour, but only because taking DD to daycare adds a half-hour. Work it okay, but we have half the group we did a year ago and no intention on back-filling, so there is a lot of 'all hands on deck' type of mentality right now. My boss said he was in denial that I would be gone for three months because he just can't get any backfills. I work on the lowest priority project line in the whole company, so I don't think anyone would cover it in my absence anyway.

My boss is very understanding and accommodating to working from home due to appointments. I will continue to work up until we have DD2, but will probably work from home the last week or so because I would have almost 2 hours drive to get to the hospital. I am looking forward to getting to spend time with both babes after our addition and being away from work. 

As for self-care: I like to get Lush bath bombs and take a bath every weekend to relax and do nothing. I'm all out right now though, so I'll have to go get some!

michaela0704

@Heliumgirl717 reminded me that I forgot to add what I do for me or to relax... I have started doing more pamper-ish things for myself, stuff I didn't do hardly ever before this pregnancy.  It gives me a break from the chaos that is my house/twins as well as helps give me time to unwind - otherwise I would be so stressed out with being an employee by day, mom by morning, night and weekend, wife, AND some other non-work commitments that I can't seem to get myself out of...

So... went and got a facial during lunch last week.  I've had 2 pedicures so far... may not seem like much if you're used to doing these things but I've enjoyed the little break.

Also, I wake up early on the weekends, get my twins set up in the living room while DH is slowly getting up, and then drive to my favorite coffee shop.  They don't open until 7am on the weekends so I get time to myself, in my quiet car in the parking lot until they open... then spend ~ 15 minutes just sipping on THE best coffee while reading a book, flipping through a magazine, or on my phone before heading home.  Small treat but I've really started to enjoy those ~ 30 minutes.

anitamargarita_82

Wow is all I can say.. some of your lovelies have it rough.  I count my lucky stars that I'm at a very understanding command and they put no pressure on me to perform at this point.  I just manage my sailors and day to day business as necessary.  I have a ridiculous amount of appointments and never have any issues when I'm gone for an entire day because I have to commute around greater Seattle to get to most of them.  I'm allowed to workout 3 days a week during working hours as well so that is nice. 

kfry22

I'm trying to keep up. I work in the agricultural field as a field manager at a cooperative that services dairy customers. We cover all of Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Ohio and have employees in all four states. I'm in charge of the field staff in my business unit in Indiana, Ohio, and southern Michigan. 

I still work in the field some and that requires a lot of odd hours (sometimes I leave home at 3am), working with the dairy cows, and heavy lifting. I'm doing ok with that as I did it every day last pregnancy. Other days of the week I'm meeting with employees, attending meetings, working from home, or going to our lab and headquarters. HQ is a two hour commute one way so those are long days. 

I have a lot of out of town and overnight travel coming up between now and April that I am getting nervous about. I will be going to Ohio for a week in February, up to our headquarters overnight in February, flying to Savannah, GA in the middle of March, and driving to Green Bat, WI at the end of March. I have also been asked to fly to Raleigh,NC first week of May but don't think my doctor will let me. Fingers crossed that all of my travel goes well and then I can work closer to my home more in April, May, and June. 

acrose0226

@tjvan I totally get where you're coming from on feeling like your pregnancy draws more attention to you. I work with a lot of our company executives (mostly males) who have a lot more tenure than I do and also have older kids already...so I feel like me and my hubs starting a family now just draws attention to our age gap. Fortunately, they're all pretty understanding - and excited - and are always asking how I'm feeling, what cravings I have, etc., but I still can't help but feel slightly self-conscious about it.

I have a pretty demanding job - not physically demanding, but a lot of stress, high-profile projects, bringing work home with me at night and on weekends. We're a multi-billion dollar global company so there's never a slow period of the year with what I do. It's beginning to take its toll on me. Last night I was at a work event until almost 11 p.m. so today I'm working from home and I stayed in bed until 8 a.m. I just don't have the vim and vigor like I used to. 

What do I do for self-care...I still *try* to get at least 4 workouts a week, get at least one prenatal massage a month, reserve Friday nights for me and my hubs to relax...which usually consists of takeout, sitting on the couch and renting a movie, and if I'm not too exhausted by the time my head hits the pillow, I'll pull out my kindle and read some of a book...even if it's just for 5 minutes before I pass out.

I'll work until 2 weeks before my due date, and return back to work within 18 weeks after baby is born.

Elyse1384

I work just over an hour away from home (DH does as well). We alternate daycare drop off and pickup, but essentially the kids get dropped off around 7:30 and picked up around 5:30/6 at close.  Daycare is about 20 minutes from our house so by the time we get home we need to hop right into our routine (dinner, play, bath, books, bed).  I usually need to work a bit more at night to makeup time lost from daycare drop off or pickup.  It's an office job (I work in marketing) so M-F for me.  It's a pretty stressful job as I have large budgetary responsibility, but I love what I do and my coworkers are great.  I usually get an hour to decompress at night and I know I should make a more balanced dinner and/or get some household chores done, but I'm just sooo tired.
 

tjvan

Well sometimes working for a big company has its perks... I got a medicine ball chair today, and next week I'll get a sit/stand desk! Pumped bc, like one of you mentioned, I've been super uncomfortable lately, and it's starting to become a distraction.

sparrow-2

I'm impressed with the loads all of you are carrying and like how diverse this group is! 

I also have a 2 hour commute round trip, but feel grateful it's usually a reverse commute, so it doesn't have the frustrating stop and go aspect.  I'm self-employed which has the double edged benefit/disadvantage of being my own boss/creating my own schedule (though also dictated by demand) and not getting sick pay or paid time off, including maternity leave though I'm paying into self-employed disability so we'll get a little.  I don't have a physically demanding job, but it requires a lot of emotional and intellectual energy and my days are long.  I hope to work close up to my due date and am starting to feel some of the uncertainty of what returning to work will be like.

@NYCProf - I used to live in NYC and give you kudos for navigating the chaos of the MTA through pregnancy.  Hopefully as the weather warms you won't have your coat as much and have to weigh being warm and getting a seat!

teacher mom-2

I am a middle school teacher who teaches 6th grade math, reading, religion, and geography and the two advanced math classes for 7th and 8th grade. I have a short commute in the morning (10 minutes T-Th, 35 M and F when I have to drive DD to the babysitter) and about 45 minutes picking up DD from the babysitter. I love my job and it is going well, but there are days I am just stupid from lack of sleep and pregnancy. The students are great though and are nice about letting me know when I make a mistake. Most of the time it is me saying one thing, even though my brain is thinking something else. Very annoying. Middle school mood swings match my pregnancy mood swings so we are funny bunch. My only complaint is lack of bathroom breaks since you can't just leave the kids when you have to go and I am on the third floor so those stairs are killer on my breathing sometimes.  

mkrel

I am very impressed reading some of your schedules and commute times. I work full time M-F 8-5, but I am extremely fortunate thay my commute is from bed, to the coffee pot, to my home office. My job has its moments, but overall I feel very fortunate to be in this situation. The hardest thing for me lately has just been the physical discomfort of sitting at a desk all day. My boss has been very flexible with appointments as well, which I appreciate. For self care I am trying to get more exercise in to help with the aches and pains. 

@Stankonia2014 I'm glad that your Dad is home from rehab! I just have to say as a nurse case manager who met with so many patients in my previous position who were hospitalized and family was always "too busy" to visit, it warms my heart knowing that even though it was stressful for you, you made it a priority to visit everyday after work. I'm sure your Dad and the staff appreciated your efforts. 

hopeful808

I teach in a program for medically kids. Some have behavioral problems so it's been quite the adjustment to not be able to assist the paras with behavior support. I can still transfer the few kids who need it. I will be happier when one of my kids comes back to school next weeks and I don't have extra night time teaching. 

CurlyMommy416

Y'all I have to take a nap after reading this.  Kudos to you guys. 

mtvkv5

I can't imagine such a long commute as some of you have every day! I run our family business, with over 500 employees globally. I've had to step it up since November when my dad, who was CEO, got diagnosed with cancer and can no longer work. On top of that, my job is in St. Louis and DH lives in Michigan. I spend Monday through Thursday in STL and Fridays work from home in Michigan. The 1 hour flight twice a week is starting to wear on me, but its mostly the stares from other passengers that bothers me..... Hopefully DH will find a job in STL soon and I'll just have the job to worry about.

@michaela0704 a pedicure sounds amazing... I think I might have to go get one this weekend! Cant even remember the last time I got one!

ashleyl31

I'm a teacher and work 7:00-4:00 typically. Thankfully I only live about 10 minutes from work. Also, my mom has been watching DS since he was 2 (he is almost 4) and she comes to our house. So I only get up and get myself ready. My husband and son are both asleep when I leave in the morning. I'm pretty exhausted after teaching elementary kids all day, but I really have it pretty good compared to many others. I either pick up DS from my moms house (they go there some days) or he is at home when I get there. Before she watched him it took me about 45 min to pick him up from daycare and get home. 

I rest a lot at night and take baths occasionally. 

zseirecarg

I have a short 15 minute commute, my hours are 8a-4p, but I am lucky if I leave on time. I'm in marketing at a family owned growing aviation company. My boss (one of the owners) is never in the office (he's off doing the traveling part) leaving me and my one employee to handle all the tasks. There is a lot on my shoulders since I am one of the leads or the lead on numerous projects. I am pretty exhausted by the time I come home but have been a lot better since the 1st trimester about cooking a balanced meal for me and DH. He works 45min from work and usually gets home way later than me (and goes in earlier). I leave all the errands, laundry and cleaning for the weekends. After dinner I've been bumping and researching baby items trying to build a registry as well as daycare, pediatricians, etc. until I am really exhausted around 9p. 

For unwinding - I've been thinking about yoga but in the meantime have been treating myself to facials. 

mrt

I don't have a bad commute, and my job is not super stressful this time around. My last 2 pregnancies I was really unhappy in my job, and it did not help. The thing that is stressing me this time is my Master's degree work. I just want to go to sleep after my kids do, but I have to read and post things online. I'm done around May 15th, so hopefully baby doesn't come too early!

awillis13

I work in a school, as a Team Chairperson (Team Leader, whatever else some districts call it).  I coordinate and oversee all of the special education students in grades 1-5 in the district, running meetings, handling paperwork, managing timelines, making sure services are being met, making program and placement decisions, etc.  I'm currently overseeing about 150 students, averaging 10 parent meetings a week, and all of the paperwork that goes along with it.

I actually love the job, although I feel like 150 is much to big of a caseload for 1 person.  I don't love the district, although I feel like things are starting to get a little better (although the secretary I work with is overly dramatic and drives me insane on a daily basis).  The commute can be tough (45 min each way without traffic), and its hard because one of the buildings I cover, I need to be there by 7:49, and daycare opens AT 7.  If we are even a few minutes behind schedule, I'm late for work on those days.  Luckily the administration is really flexible with stuff like that.  I am looking for something closer to home to cut down on the commute next year.  Also, we are going to need to move to a bigger place (currently in a 2 BR, and 3 kids in 1 room might be a little tight).  When we move, we are going to want to move closer to my stepson, which will be futher away from my work, only making the commute that much longer.  I'm not looking forward to interviewing 6+ months pregnant.

Knottie42089123

In the mornings my commute averages an hour 24 minutes (I've been keeping a log and using my Waze app religiously) and heading home is not as bad, usually an hour at most. I've found that in my career, if I'm on top of things at work, my home life is in shambles and vice versa. So right now I'm trying to keep both somewhat afloat. I don't think I've figured out what works best for me yet as I'm not the most disciplined person. I tend to try to get errands and such done during the week but I end up so, so tired by the time I get home. Add in nights with poor sleep (I've been up since 4a) and I'm on the struggle bus. Maybe it's a better self care approach to cover the basics during the week and the rest on weekends.

berg

Yesterday I found out that training I need will be split into three weeks over three months, starting in February. The training will take place in WI so I would have to fly there.  The first two I could manage, but the last round is the very last week in April.  I've been really torn on what to do.  I want the training as it will only further my career, but at the same time traveling at 33 weeks pregnant that far away (I live in MA) makes me uneasy.  Luckily for me my boss made the decision for me and said I couldn't go.  It has been a hard realization for me.  Things are changes and they are changing rapidly.  Working in a male dominated field has it's hurdles, and now I have another hurdle to consider.  Just weird to see my first glimpse at just how much EVERYTHING will change.

sevenn

Props to all you ladies! My commute is about 30 min each way but I average 60-80 hours/week and sometimes without any days off. It's brutal, but my normal. Compression socks are becoming my friend!

My schedule is actually going to get more intense after LO as I will be starting an new job. I will have an hour commute, some overnights but overall more predictable days off. My husband works from home and will be SAHD so we are very fortunate about that. 

MotherofDragons

Are any of you leaving your jobs after baby in favor of staying home or reducing your hours? 

With my son I had a rough schedule. I worked 4 10 hour days in a row at a children's hospital. I was on my feet all day long. After having my son I cut back to part time and now work 16 hours a week between the hospital and the pediatric outpatient clinic. Still a physically demanding job but not as crazy of a schedule. 

I had forgotten how hard it was but this week I was covering for someone and worked almost a full 40 hours. I am dead today. 

MrsW524

@berg I had a similar experience regarding planning work travel.  I was supposed to fly out to Nashville in April (I'm in DE), but when I started to tell the person in charge of the trip I wasn't comfortable going, she said she wasn't comfortable taking me anyway.  It's definitely odd to have these considerations.

I'm amazed by the hours/commutes some of your have.  My commute isn't easy, but it isn't awful at about 45 minutes each way with the occasional traffic jam to add 15 minutes.  Work is fine otherwise.  I teach at a college and I'm carrying a 15 credit load, with 6 online supplemental credits, a 50+ person advisement load, and I'm running the college's honor society.  It keeps me busy, but I'm not feel super stressed over it.  I would rather be busy than bored.  Right now my issue is just adjusting to our administration who thinks "flexibility" is a dirty word and that everyone should always be on campus, Monday-Friday, 8-4 regardless of they're class/office hours/meeting schedule.  I would love to be able to shift some days or work from home on occasion, but we'll see if that ever becomes something they allow. Other than that, I love my job and I'll keep working until I can't.  

MrsCaliRN

Public health nurse three days a week, nurse practitioner student in clinical preceptorship two times a week, and mommy to a 19 month old DS all day errday. Thanking the Lord for that second tri normalcy/energy and have been feeling okay. Only 18 weeks here so not showing much yet so no special treatment off the bat, but that's okay. Not planning to start maternity leave til 2 weeks before EDD. Was working the day I went into labor with DS (he came early-ish at 38wks4days). Glad to see you working mommas powering through! Wish I could add "growing a human being" to my resume though. 

awillis13

I stopped by my old school today because I had something for one of the teachers I used to work with.  Even though the environment was toxic last year (the new principal created a horrible working environment, and it's only gotten worse this year, apparently) I miss everyone there so much, and almost regret leaving.  The word on the street is that the person in the position at that school that is the equivalent to what I am doing in my new district was a finalist to go elsewhere last summer, and will likely be looking to leave again.  If he goes, I'm absolutely going to apply.

meg2704

I'm in awe of some of your workloads and commutes!

I have a 25-30 minute drive to/from work and I average 45 hours a week at my job. I will be returning to work after my 12 weeks (mostly paid) maternity leave full time, but am toying with the idea of working towards a part time job in the next five years. For me growing up with a SAHM, I really loved having her around after school and I want to be able to do that for my kid. Right now that isn't feasible since I make more than my husband. 

lizerspitz

I try to keep my commute as part of my self care. I'm metro rider and I have been lucky enough to claim a seat for most of the way everyday. Walk. Bus. Walk. Train. Walk for 15 minutes, then at work. I try to get to work 15 minutes early so I can go to the bathroom and prepare a second breakfast. The 15 minute walk can be avoided by a free bus, but sometimes I am impatient. I think I will take it more often these days though now that my stomach is feeling heavier.

I'm at a desk all day and I've been comfortable-ish. My legs have started cramping at night so I need a strategy to stop that from happening. 

On the commute, I podcast, which has been relaxing. I've been trying to keep all of our friend dates going. We have a low key game night every week at a friend's house. I also started a swim class last week, so physically, I feel I am at least trying to get some exercise. And the commute really helps with that.

My work can be remote after maternity leave some of the time, which will be a little helpful, but I do plan to go back full time. I plan to be the primary wage earner for the long term, though my husband is a ahead of me for now. My raises will quickly out-scale his, me starting out a private wealth management firm, and he in healthcare - OT.