Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I think I got this, then...

I thought I was doing pretty darn great with the whole coping thing. I wasn't ugly crying anymore, I'm not beating myself up anymore, best of all I was starting to laugh and smile again. Then... I get an e-mail from the doctors office reminding me that I had a prenatal appt. tomorrow. Cue the ugly crying! Worst thing is that I'm at work. This sucks!
Me 36 DH 38
Married 1/22/10
BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum

Re: I think I got this, then...

  • Ugh @amu1234 I'm so sorry! I feel the same way. I'm doing good then all of a sudden I'm not. I realized last night that tomorrow is my 1month loss anniversary and I started bawling! Hugs!
  • @amu1234

    Hugs! I can relate ... I cancelled my first ultrasound appointment the day I went in for my follow-up HCG test after miscarrying two days before. The receptionist asked if I wanted to reschedule ... um, I wish?

    My first appointment would have been this coming Monday ... I have all my friends coming over to watch The Bachelor with me that night (like we usually do on Monday nights), so it will be a good distraction and something to look forward to rather than dread that Monday. The last time they were all at my house I told them all I was pregnant ... sad how things work sometimes. :(

    @pumpkin0913

    Thinking about you tomorrow and sending you hugs ... it's hard not to remember those dates :(
  • Loading the player...
  • So sorry  :/ I know what that's like. I went in for an ultrasound the day after my miscarriage and I guess I just assumed they would cancel my next prenatal app.. I should have asked while I was there. But then a week later I got TWO confirmation calls for my 8 week ultrasound.  :( the first call I was like oh ok no big deal, they must've not looked in my chart before making calls. But then 15 minutes after I hung up another girl called me to confirm the appointment again. It really really sucks. 
    Sorry for your loss  :'(
  • That stinks @amu1234. I keep having to go to my OB for HCG tests and get to sit next to pregnant ladies while waiting. Lots of triggers out there, but you will be okay... especially when the hormones level out.
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
  • @pumpkin0913 Sending you lots of positive thoughts that tomorrow flies by. 

    @jen83mn Glad you will have a support system there Monday!

    @toniherdt 2 phone calls- seriously?!?!?! I am so sorry that happened! Sometimes I feel like they forget that loss happens and that not everyone gets to feel giddy and excited. 

    @NYTino24 sorry you have to endure that! You are definitely right about triggers everywhere. 

    FX that we all get to a point where triggers no longer matter and we can just enjoy life again sans tears. 
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • @amu1234 uh!! Worst! You'd think they'd could just go into your profile and cancel all future appointments - like auto-style. So sorry. Hang in there, we're with you.
  • It actually got a bit worst later in the day. My midwife called & left a voicemail that my betas are consistent with early pregnancy but my progesterone is low so she was going to call in a prescription for me. She called back a 2nd time so I answered and reminded her that she had confirmed a BO on Friday & that I was rather positive I had already passed the sac on Monday. She sounded mortified! 
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • Omg @amu1234 how awful! I bet she was mortified!!
  • NYTino24NYTino24 member
    edited January 2017
    Hugs to you @amu1234! I have to see all 8 or 9 docs in the practice. The first time I saw one OB on a Thursday was to do an US to check on bleeding and she barely remembered me the next Monday when we confirmed MC. She had been fairly confident all would go well even though I said baby should be 12 days bigger. She told me, "Maybe I should listen to my patients." And yet, DH is all about listening to docs instead of me.
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
  • @amu1234  So sorry you have to endure all this.  You would think that they would just cancel or your patient profile would be flagged.  When I went in for my us to confirm the mc was complete, the receptionist asked me how far along I was.....

    Ugly cry all you want. Let it out girl.
    ***TW***
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18




     
  • So sorry to hear about them calling you. I wrote a nasty review of my obs office because of something similar and sent it to their headquarters. I had called to let them know what was going on and I had 3 medical professionals ask the day of my follow up m/c exam how my pregnancy was progressing and if my spotting had stopped. 

  • @rklinge0 Talk about a lack of compassion! I get that as doctors they have a lot of patients but with all the technology we have today there has to be a way to keep these hurtful moments from happening. 
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • @SP128 that's horrible. I don't know how you kept it together!!
  • So insensitive of them!!!!!!! I am SO sorry :( 
    Siggy Warning--------


    CP #1- due April 2017 lost 5.5 weeks
    cp #2- due May 2017 lost at 4.5 weeks
    iUI #1- BFN
    IUI #2-BFN
    IVF#1- transfer 2- BFP! Due October 2017 c/p#3 lost at 3.5 weeks
  • @amu1234 that's what I put in my review. I told them they needed to flag or note their chart. It may not hurt to let your office know how you feel in hopes that this doesn't happen to someone else. 
  • @rklinge0 That's a good idea. I go back Tuesday to speak with a new doctor, I think I'm going to take your suggestion and vocalize my concern. Rspecially if I can help keep someone else from experiencing this!
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm currently going through a missed miscarriage (12 weeks) and this was my first pregnancy.  When I first found out I had a non viable pregnancy, I was asked to make a follow up appointment for a 2nd US at the front desk to confirm that I had a missed miscarriage.  After that appointment I tried to pay my copay and was told I'd be charged after I deliver.  I didn't know what to say so I left and cried.  I was embarrassed to mention that I was losing my baby in a room full of expectant mothers and at the same time I felt like the world was falling at my feet.  It didn't get any easier bc at my followup, the med assistant that checked me in asked me for my LMP and said I was entering my 2nd trimester.  It was another reminder of my loss.

     I wish staff took some time to check a summary of my chart or at least make a note of my situation.  I have another followup in a week to check that everything as passed (I opted from misoprostol to induce my miscarriage). Hopefully this appointment won't be so bad.  

    Sending hugs your way!  
    **~About Me~**
    Married: 06/13/16
    BFP: 10/25/16     MMC: 01/24/17 (12 weeks)
    BFP: 04/23/17     Due Date: 01/01/18
  • @laurenjt808 Wow- the lack of sensitivity simply astonishes me! Hoping that when you go back they are more aware and sensitive. Lots of positive thoughts are being sent your way!
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • @laurenjt808 I had to go for a follow up US the day after loss and they lost my appointment. *TW* I MC naturally and brought in everything for testing. They didn't have me on their appointment schedule since I guess they didn't add me after I called when they opened. I had to explain that I had a MC and my baby was in tiny Tupperware container, so could they just take it so I could go cry in the hallway while all of the happy moms walked out with smiles and bumps? The nurse who did my BP and weight was pregnant. Then after pressing the issue the doc told me they wouldn't test for a MC reason, only to confirm it was "a product of conception." Next I had to sit in labor and delivery for two hours for a rhogam shot. The training nurse said, "I've never done one of these before. I'm excited!" */TW* That just added insult to injury. Some people don't realize how insensitive they are being. Ask them to put a note on your account to make it obvious to be more sensitive.
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
  • @NYTino24 I'm so sorry you had to go through that ordeal.  Sending warm thoughts and hugs your way! 
    **~About Me~**
    Married: 06/13/16
    BFP: 10/25/16     MMC: 01/24/17 (12 weeks)
    BFP: 04/23/17     Due Date: 01/01/18
  • Ugh, what awful timing! 

    I have my D&C follow up appointment on the exact same day, and exact same time as what was supposed to be my 20w appointment. I have no idea how I'm going to feel through the appointment. 
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
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