Twatwaffle (TW) Tuesday 1/24

bswishe4

Anyone have anything good today?
* Hope it was okay I posted it. I saw that no one has claimed it and I need some laughs today lol!

Sugargirl1019

I love when people start things  

My sweet dog. I'm trying to nap and he's barking his little head off. I'm upset cuz I'm tired, and he's totally going to wake a sleeping infant. Please sweet boy, come sleep with me!

bswishe4

Mine is a patient who has been calling harassing me for months because she is tired of waiting for us! I have cooperated with her insurance fully and everything on my end is complete. After speaking with her insurance it turns out she has failed to respond to them after multiple attempts they gave up on her. I just got to call her back and tell her it was her fault! She still blames me for not telling her that they were trying to call her. Are you kidding me?!?!?! How am I supposed to know you refuse to have a voicemail box and you won't answer your phone for your own insurance company!?!?!

bswishe4

@Sugargirl1019 We ended up with a cat (I am not a cat person) it is outside mostly but its cold so I have been trying to keep it in at night. Around 4am every morning its going crazy wanting outside. If it wakes me up one more time I may lose it! Good luck on your nap. I hope he decides he is tired as well and lays down lol.

wannabeamongoose

My brain. I just sat and stared at a blank email for a good 20 minutes trying to remember who I was emailing and what super important thing I needed to tell them. Spoiler alert, I'm still trying to remember

. 

pandawares

My best friend's boyfriend is a TW. He's mad because he doesn't get to see her much when I visit. Last night, he showed up at my son's bedtime AFTER SHE TOLD HIM NOT TO BECAUSE IT WAS BEDTIME.

mrs_tacos

Our f-ing neighbors. We have been convinced for months now that they are into shady business. Further proof: last night, around 2am, someone started pounding on their door and shouting for them to let them in. This continued for over an hour. We thought the guy finally left, but actually he had fallen asleep in the hallway.  

If that doesn't scream "Our neighbors are drug dealers, and some junkie needed his fix," I don't know what does. I don't even know how he got in the building past our door man. 

HollyGolightly09

@Sugargirl1019  I foresee dog waking baby problems in my future, too, if the husky doesn't chillax before then. She woke me up at 3am howling like her toes were being cut off because the kitten was locked in a bathroom and she couldn't play with (read: chew on) her. It's worth noting, the kitten was only locked in the bathroom to give her a break. 

lap018

I have a twatwaffle nomination: my husband! For weeks he has known that our first appt is tomorrow the 25th and we will be having the first ultrasound. So he tells me last night "I have to go out of town on Wednesday morning for work" I was like you know that's our appt right? "Oh shoot I guess I didn't put 2 and 2 together" uuggghhhhhh he didn't miss a single appt with our first and now he's missing this one? What the frick?? He's got a lot on his plate right now with work so I know he's overwhelmed but this was a really important thing, now I'll be all alone for this appt, what if it doesn't turn out well? I guess I'll just cry in front of my OB like I did last time 

HollyGolightly09

@lap018  Oh no! I'm sure everything will be fine, but I hate that you'll be alone. That is 100% something my DH would do, though. I hear "yeah, I knew that... guess I just didn't put it together." ALL the time. 

lap018

@HollyGolightly09 thank you! Glad to know I'm not the only one with a hubs that does not communicate dates and appointments well! Lol! Men!

bswishe4

@lap018 Im sorry your husband is being a TW! I think they all are at one time or another. I'm passive aggressive so I would probably wait till dinner or something and when he talks about how he is starving or can't wait to eat I would break in with "Oh it is evening and I did realize we would both be hungry but I just didn't put two and two together". Examples like this would happen on the regular for a while.

ColoradoHiker

This happened a week or two ago, I don't think I mentioned it yet.  I had to tell my boss about being pregnant, as there are specific lab tasks I can't do bc they involve chemicals that are very very bad for the baby.  I didn't want to tell him yet, but it was unavoidable once I realized it.  He congratulated me, and then said, "Thanksgiving baby."  I was all, "Pardon?" And he went on to explain how he always counts the weeks back to figure out when the baby was conceived.  Ew.  I think that's something everyone thinks, but no one should ever mention.  Full stop. He was wrong, but I wasn't going to correct him.  

msashley2010-2

@amandarene112 That is insanely scary! 

myohmy34

ColoradoHiker said:

I can't remember if I posted on Monday Bfest about this, but we visited our friends on Sunday.  We found out after we'd been there a while that they'd all had a vicious stomach bug that's floating around the area.  Thanks for letting us know!  Well, DS started puking his guts out at 5am this morning.  I went through multiple outfit changes before work.  I'm praying for clemency from the puke gods that I don't get this.  Morning sickness is bad enough, I don't need a stomach bug, too.  

I had a stomach bug over the weekend, and now I can't tell if I'm still sick or if I have morning sickness. I hope you avoid catching it!

GhanimaAtreides

@Sugargirl1019 Invest in a Bark Off. It's under <$20 and kept me from killing my FIL's shih tzu (when he stayed with us 6mos) who would bark if someone drove or walked onto our cul-de-sac. Used to wake the baby every time.

Bark Off saved that little wall-eyed shit its life. I swear.

mrs_tacos

@ColoradoHiker That's remarkably inappropriate for the work place! I'm really hoping none of DH's very conservative family realizes that we totally made a baby in their guest room over Christmas.

SSminnow426

Basically everyone right now that doesn't know I am KU is a TW. I am only 6weeks and already over hiding it from people and having to defend why I'm not drinking or eating certain things. I picked a easy lie but for the love of god I never realized how much people just assume your preggo. My BIL made a comment on when DH and I were going to have kids (granted he is just excited for the day he gets to be an uncle but still) So I was tired and cranky and snapped at him that we would have one when he carried it, popped it out and raised it. Then I felt guilty because I don't feel that way at all and am SUPER excited. I blame hormones! 

wyomama0427

I love my grandmother to pieces you guys. She just lost her husband of 65 years and she's lost and lonely. I volunteered to stay with her for a few extra days to hang out and mess around and go shopping and stuff. Ya know, keep her busy. 

But I'm pulling my fucking hair out. I don't know how many times I have asked her to please be quiet during nap time. DS NEEDS his naps or he turns into Satan. And I'm not even kidding. I'd pay someone to take him. But they'd probably give him right back because he's such a little asshole. She's quiet for MAYBE a minute and then she's clanging dishes and slamming doors and stomping around and banging around in the room right next to his! I've got a box fan on the highest level it will go and it still doesn't even drown out her noise because maybe 1/2 way into his nap she still manages to wake him up!!!! Guys I can't handle this. He hasn't had a decent nap since we've been here and every single time I ask her to be quiet and it NEVER HAPPENS. I'm about to head home you guys I can't freakin handle DS this sleep deprived. He cries and screams and is glued to me.

Like I said. I love the woman to pieces. But damn lady just sit down and be quiet for like an hour!!! Please!!!!




Edited to add that I'm 7 hours away from home... so it's not like I can just pop over and put him down for a nap at home. 

mrsmarygs

@amandarene112 My siblings already got it out of me that we totally DTD while we were all home for Christmas. They were trying to guess when we got pregnant...

jillibean0871

Ohhh I have to play this today! So I had to tell my SIL and MIL that I was pregnant today.  As expected the response was that we only got pregnant bc my SIL was pregnant or as she said it "it really seems that way and we look stupid".  Now I find myself apologizing for getting pregnant when I did and feeling bad about it.   This is exactly why we weren't telling people but of course nothing can just remain as is, instead there has to be constant drama. Now I'm sitting here emotional and annoyed and literally all the excitement in my
body has left bc of how they made us feel. Mind you I've also sent two text messages apologizing for "taking the spot light off of her" and reminding her that the plan was to wait a little longer but it just happened so soon and I don't even get an acknowledgement back. Nothing not a single word.

GhanimaAtreides

@jillibean0871 Geebus. What cunts. Can't even think ahead enough to realize how awesome it would be to have cousins close in age to play with each other. SIL just sounds like an AW.

ashley2824

@jillibean0871 that's awful! I never understood the jealousy of others being pregnant at the same time. My sister and I were pregnant together for our firsts and it was the best ever! And not to mention our kids are now super close. 

rainafire77

@jillibean0871 OMG what a complete bitch! Don't you DARE apologize to her anymore! She does not get exclusive pregnancy rights! It's not her spotlight and how f*****g selfish of her to even say that! It's probably pregnancy hormones but I want to punch her lights out for you right now! You enjoy your pregnancy. You get excited about your baby. And to hell with this selfish twit. 

END RANT

I need ice cream.

HollyGolightly09

@jillibean0871  You have no reason to apologize to her! How ridiculous that she would act like that. Like you thought "OMG..sinces she's pregnant, I want to be too!" You aren't 12. She needs to get over it, be supportive, and maybe even be a little excited that your kids will grow up so close in age. 

MplsKate

A woman at our church spent a full three days of her life gossiping about whether or not I was pregnant, asking everyone she knows, stirring up a TON of suspicion. Whhyyyyyyyy?! Perhaps I am skipping church until March...

Annoying.

jillibean0871

@MplsKate it's so funny how people "speculate" pregnancy just so they don't have to ask you flat out and seem like an ass! Obviously when you're ready to share you will so she needs to mind her own business. 

mrsvp614

@jillibean0871 Hell to the no. I'm sure I'd handle things the same way and try to smooth things over, but your SIL is def in the wrong here and you shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt over your own exciting news. 

ColoradoHiker

@MplsKate  My older brother started asking at Christmas.  I literally found out the day before, and was like.. thanks for thinking I'm getting fat.  And I told him I wasn't.  I'll probably never hear the end of it once we do tell him.

MyNamesTaken

@jillibean0871 Wow. What jerks! And don't apologize! Unless it's her wedding or baby shower or something where there is actually a spotlight on her, she doesn't have dibs on people being excited! I would love to have someone pregnant at the same time. It's nice to have someone to chat with and your kids would be so close! Too bad she's so AW and negative. Hope she sees the light soon!

MplsKate

@jillibean0871 UGH. We sort of got accused of something similar. My sister has a one year old and my parents said something like, "Once you saw your sister with a baby, we knew you'd come around and want the same thing." Um, what? This was actually our planned timing all along... My family is particularly dramatic about pregnancies and babies and I am just not looking forward to 33 more weeks of that.

Don't apologize-- this is their problem, not yours.

wannabeamongoose

@mynamestaken @GhanimaAtreides stupid question, but what is AW?

MyNamesTaken

@Lizlann Attention Whore! 

wannabeamongoose

@mynamestaken Got it. I was thinking A Whole but then I remember that hole doesn't have a "w" in it. Idiot. Thanks!

sableeg

@Sugargirl1019 @HollyGolightly09 My dog is the same.  Love him SO much, but his barking is driving me nuts.  We've spent thousands on training and now have him on legit Prozac which has helped a bit.  I may look into the BarkOff thing too!

sableeg

Lizlann said:

My brain. I just sat and stared at a blank email for a good 20 minutes trying to remember who I was emailing and what super important thing I needed to tell them. Spoiler alert, I'm still trying to remember

. 

Girllllll, Preach.  Yes.  Driving home last night from my PGAL support group I ended up going the opposite way and ended up in Dallas.  I've also hit a couple of curbs this week.  Yikes!

DPandMB

I nominate my body.

Stomach "oh intense nausea. You want to throw up, but you cant, and even when you do, you will still feel like shit.
Brain "but you're hungry. You should eat. Doesn't a salad sound amazing? Yes it does, eat a salad"
Taste buds "GROSS! This salad is the worst thing you have ever eaten. I think you are trying to kill me. Don't eat anymore."
Emotions "oh you cant stop eating. DH went to the store to buy you the salad because you wanted want so bad. It would be rude to not eat it. Wait! He's the reason we are in this position. Throw it out in the yard. Ahhh but he cleaned the kitchen. "
Whole body in unison "PURGE EVERYTHING NOW"
Brain "Look a cookie!"

HollyGolightly09

@DPandMB  OMG..yes! That exactly.

Basherbaby

@DPandMB Perfect analogy! 

lap018

@DPandMB hahaha that was hilarious! I'm dying 

DPandMB

Basherbaby said:

@DPandMB Perfect analogy! 

Analogy? This was real life.  It was my lunch situation today.