Rainbow Baby check-in - January/February

lajoliedreamer

I'm sorry I've been MIA. I kept thinking about logging in and doing this, but mommy brain always distracted me before I got to it!

Now I'm back at work and am taking time during a pump break. :-)

So how's everything going for you ladies?

lajoliedreamer

Maternity Leave went by too fast, of course. I was hoping to have E on some kind of general schedule before I went back to work to get some things done around the house, but we didn't really settle into anything. I'm hoping being at daycare will help her though so far she's completely thrown off. She doesn't seem to mind being there, but is having trouble napping with the bright lights and other babies making noise. She's there for about 8 hours a day and has been getting 15-30 minutes sleep the whole time. Hopefully it won't take long for that to even out since she has either been conked out or super fussy in the evenings because of it.

Breastfeeding has been hard. I've had to supplement from the start, I just don't make enough. Every feeding she eats off me then gets a bottle and then I try to pump. It's time-consuming, but I'm just not ready to give up breastfeeding - I want to at least get her to six months, but we'll see. Pumping at work has been going fairly well and my supply seems to be increasing a bit (though who knows since I have no idea how much she normally gets from me).

jmama1611

Can I join? My November babe was conceived 2 months after miscarrying. I also have a toddler.

Some days I just have to smile and think things for whatever reason happened for a reason. Still wouldn't wish the pain of miscarrying in anyone, but ecstatic with how it all worked out.

I'm home with my 2 little ones. Big adjustment going from 1 to 2, but we're finding our groove. 

Anyone else have 2+?

lajoliedreamer

@jmama1611 - of course you can join! Any mama who has experienced the heartache of a pregnancy loss is more than welcome here.

This is my first, but we've always wanted more than one. I'm so exhausted with one though that I can't wrap my head around doing this with a toddler around! How old is your newborn now?

tigerfish227

So somehow TB doubled my post but the second one was actually revised so I'm just gonna edit this to not be repeating myself. Dafaq TB? Get it together!

tigerfish227

I'm still here, too!
Just as a refresher, Vincent(12w1d today) was pregnancy #5. The first 4 were 1st tri losses, all different. The RE ran all the tests and they can't explain my losses so we just had to keep trying or go thru IVF with PGS(not an option for personal reasons). We conceived V by accident while waiting for my cycle to return after loss #4. My miscarriage started on Jan 27th last year so next week is gonna be tough. I had tracked my BBT long enough to confirm ovulation but didn't track anything else so I thought we had avoided my FW but obviously I was wrong since I now have this beautiful baby boy. I had told DH that after we confirmed ovulation, since we were supposed to be avoiding, I was putting away my BBT and I was done tracking anything. I couldn't stand the thought of going thru the process again only to have everything fall apart so if we ended up with another pregnancy that was fine but I was done trying to plan it. 


I went back to work yesterday and since I work retail my schedule is all weird. I'm off today and work again tomorrow and Sunday. Maternity leave was not long enough (even tho I know I'm lucky in the US to get 12 weeks at full pay). V has had a stuffy nose for several days and it's been rough on us both. He's been super clingy and not sleeping the best so I'm nice and exhausted. I don't even care tho cause he's perfect and I love him more than anything.

MollySm

I'm still here!  I had baby #3,  my 4th pregnancy, on Nov 29th.  She's doing really well.   I run an in home daycare,  so started back to work about a week after she was born,  which has been exhausting.   My H was home a few days per week for 6 weeks (he spread out his leave), and went back full time this week.   Next week he's going away for work for 6 days,  which I am not looking forward to at all.   

kvruns

My baby was conceived about 2 months after my loss. My SIL had a baby on th EDD of the 1st pregnancy so I was glad to have my baby 6 months along when that day came or it would have been tougher. This will be our only baby although for some reason I'm having trouble wanting to list my maternity clothes on my local fb sale page 

jmama1611

@kvruns
I have certain days that are triggers too. Edd being one, day I miscarried another. 
Glad that you were far along in your pregnancy when that day came around for you to hopefully dull the pain a little.

rachlee2010

Hi guys. I had my 2 no baby (3rd pregnancy) on 11/19. Our loss was in feb of 2015. This guy came about through ivf. We found out after our loss that I have dor or diminished ovarian reserve. I'm still home with him which is great. I get 6 weeks paid and then can take up to 3 additional months unpaid and keep my job and insurance. 

rspalding001

Hi everyone! I had our DS on nov 20. He is baby #2 for us but was my 6th pregnancy. Thankfully all my losses were 9 weeks or sooner but it was tough nonetheless. We are two and done since I'm turning 39 this year and don't envy the idea of being pregnant again at 40 ha ha. I'm already too tired

Baby James is doing great however, already 14 lbs at 2 months! His big sister loves him very much too. This is one lucky little guy:)

lajoliedreamer

Checking in.

I've been back at work and E has been in daycare four weeks now. I have to say, I'm enjoying being back at work a lot more than I thought I would. I miss her, but I love having a routine and adult interaction. She has been fighting a cold, which is an unfortunate side effect to daycare, but has completely adjusted otherwise. She gives them 2-3 naps a day, usually not more than 30 minutes, but any nap is good. She hasn't been cranky in the evenings, though sometimes she does conk out in her car seat on the way home and stays asleep 2 or more hours. I'm just looking forward to her kicking this cold so we can get more sleep out of her at night. We were starting to regularly get 6 hours of sleep from her, but being sick has set her back to 3-4 hours.

I can't believe she is going to be 4 months in less than two weeks! Sometimes, I still have to remind myself that I have a baby - it's just so different from my life up until now.

kvruns

@lajoliedreamer I'm looking forward to returning to work for the reasons you mentioned too

m6agua

*TW*
So FB reminded me of a post I made a year ago, I thought I would share with everyone.

Ugh stupid spoiler boxes!

So I took the plunge and finally got my first tattoo.  It is very personal to me and I would like to share what it represents. The ribbon stands for infant and pregnancy loss. The black dot represents my loss. I chose my wrist so I can see it every day. It is a part of me and I do not ever want to forget the joy I felt for this baby. I am the 1 in 4. One in every four women will experience a miscarriage in their lives. It is a lot more common than we are lead to believe. I know this is something that many choose not to talk about however part of my grieving/healing came from reading and hearing others’ stories. I only hope my story will help others as well. I knew early on that I wanted to break the silence on this subject. It took me a little while longer than I thought. I am now at a place now where I am ready to share. James and I found out we were expecting in September of 2015. We were excited and began thinking and planning for our May arrival. Unfortunately we lost our baby on November 8, 2015 just shy of 11 weeks. I had what is considered a blighted ovum and a missed miscarriage. I was very thankful to miscarry naturally in the comfort of my own home with James by my side. I will spare the details here as it is a little graphic for FB, but if anyone else going through this would like to hear more of my story do not hesitate to reach out. I am more than willing to share my experience. This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. James has been my rock through everything. I have had great support from close family and friends. The grief was very difficult to process initially. I did choose to seek help from a counselor. I encourage anyone else going through a rough time to not be afraid to seek help when needed. I would like to leave everyone with some information on supporting those who have suffered a miscarriage. Miscarriage is something that is not talked about often and because of this many people don’t know the best way to support a person going through one. You may think that saying things like, everything happens for a reason, it wasn’t meant to be, it will happen when it happens, at least you weren’t further along, etc. are what to say. Yes that is a logical thought and probably true, but it doesn’t really help. Grieving the loss of a pregnancy is a lot like grieving the loss of a loved one. You wouldn’t say to someone who just lost a family member that everything happens for a reason. The best way to support someone is just to be there and express condolences. Here are a couple links if you would like to read more.

https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-loss/supporting-others/

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/health-lifestyle/how-to-support-someone-after-a-miscarriage/

I shared it and wrote this post now.

While I am very happy and thankful to have Amelia in our lives, it doesn't mean I don't think about my first baby. It's weird because now I am often asked "Is this your first?" in regards to Amelia. I respond yes but in the back of my mind I am thinking, well technically no, or it's my first living child. Just because that baby was never born, doesn't make it less real for me. I sometimes still even grieve the loss. Most days I am good, but occasionally there will be a day when it just hits me all over again and I am back in those moments, the good and bad. To me it is quite like grieving the loss of a loved one after they have passed. Time makes it easier, but there are still days you think about the time you had with them when they were alive and days where you are sad they are gone.