FFFC

liepertsm

Sorry if someone was planning on posting this...I didn't see one so I thought I'd start it. 

My Friday confession is that I wore jeans to school today. Our faculty always wears jeans for special days like field trips, parties, half-days, etc. But today I'm feeling tired and crampy and constipated and getting dressed isn't fun anymore, so I threw on my comfy jeans and headed to school. Zero F's were given. 

What do you want to confess today?

kjd291

My favorite guilty pleasure show is The Bachelor!  I was a little too excited to see it back on again for me to watch over these next few weeks!!

npaulie

I've bee so tired by the time I go to bed, it takes all my energy to actually get into the bedroom and in bed. As a result I have been skipping brushing my teeth before I go to sleep. DH can just deal with my bad morning breath once I'm more energetic. 

kiyamurph

@npaulie In your defense, you would still have bad morning breath even if you brush your teeth at night. No one wakes up with fresh breath. I remember before Tyra Banks was married, she said on her talk show that she used to sleep with an Altoid in her mouth whenever she would have a guy over for the first time. Talk about setting up very unrealistic expectations!

Spartanrd4

@kjd291 I love the bachelor too! I am sad to admit that I think Nick is a babe- he has definitely grown on me over the years.
@npaulie me too, I'm so lazy I've definitely been skipping on my oral hygiene. I am getting my teeth cleaned next week though so hopefully the hygienist doesn't yell at me too much. 

kjd291

@Spartanrd4  Although he's also grown on me over the years, I still don't find him attractive... but no matter what I'm still watching!!

Gators&BoSox

if i'm at home, which is a lot considering I'm a STM, there is no bra wearing, pajama pants are on, and most likely DH's tshirt. I don't care if it's 3 pm.

Burrberrymum

I sat at the store holding a purse I know I don't have the money for but it was the only one I liked.. I put it back and walked away.. Went back to it and I stood there and stood there. I know I really don't have the extra money and I had a 50$ gift card to get a new purse which I need but it came up to over 140 more than the gift card. I felt so guilty I actually called my SO 2 times with no answer I was going to put it back but I decided to just go for it. It was a good mark down price on the purse and I never get myself expensive bags. I felt so guilty I almost cried and instantly wanted to return it. I didn't.. And when SO asked how much more I spent over the gift card I lied and said 50.. Now I felt even more guilty for lying about it because I know I shouldn't have bought it and the only reason he would have been upset is because we just bought our first house and I still have quite a bit to buy for the baby nursery.. which is also why I felt so guilty. SO is so good at spending wisely and making purchases that benefit the while family. He never asks me what I do with my money and here I went and made a selfish purchase. Needless to say the bag is in the closet with the tags and I have 30 days to return it. WWYD?? 

mtmama2

I was so freakin uncomfortable at work today that I pretty much did nothing. My uterus is so high up in my ribs that sitting in a normal posture is just not comfortable anymore and the things I wanted to work on weren't really conducive to standing... So I did nothing haha

anonellis

@Burrberrymum I can't tell from your description whether you LOVED the bag, because you said it was the "only one you liked" at the store.  I think it's fine to keep it and wouldn't feel bad about it for one minute, but if you didn't LOVE it, you should return it. SO might be great at spending wisely and not making any purchases that aren't for the family, but you're carrying a baby and making a lot of non-financial sacrifices that he is not making...you deserve a little bit of extra self care.

I have a similar FFFC: I spent $170 + tip on a prenatal massage at a fancy spa yesterday.  I, too, did not tell my husband before making the splurge (told him I was getting a massage but I'm pretty sure he didn't think that's what it would cost!)  I never get massages and have been feeling miserable, although I'm sure I could have gotten a cheaper one elsewhere.  It was sooooo nice to feel pampered at the fancy place though. 

EnglishTeacherMama

@Burrberrymum Here are my long and jumbled thoughts on the situation!! 

- I'm the financially responsible one in my family, so I do get annoyed when DH splurges and can empathize with how he might feel with your splurge. BUT over our 5 years of marriage we've gotten better about communicating and budgeting so that such events are more limited and he only gets stuff he really wants and will use. So... will you use and LOVE this purse? Or is it going to keep sitting in the closet, especially with baby on the way (I'm not sure from your description if it is something you'd use as a diaper bag or not)? I was taught to think of all clothing and gear purchases as $1 per day. Those pants are $55--will I wear them at least 55 times? That camera is $200--will I use it at least 200 times? That backpack is $70--will I use it at least 70 times? Mentally, that helps me a lot. Sometimes I am TOTALLY gung-ho about wearing a $30 shirt 30 times, and sometimes I'm like "meh this is going to be boring after the 4th wear" and I can put it back on the rack. 

- Your username has Burrberry in it so I have automatically envisioned you with fancy purses... haha.

- I know my sister-in-law convinced her husband to buy her a fancy purse as a "push-present" after she gave birth to their baby. Apparently "push presents" are a fad now. I think that's pretty silly, but as the soon-to-be-pusher, I figure I might as well take advantage of it. [I really need new running shoes!] So maybe this purse could be your personal push-present, a reward for after you have your baby! 

- The lying to your husband part is probably going to be a burden on you though. See if you can fess up and talk to your husband about it... but if you didn't actually want/love the purse enough to face that conversation, maybe it's a sign to return it. 

- Babies are a huge new cost, but have you had your baby shower yet? Maybe a lot of the stuff you think you need for the nursery will soon be gifted to you. 

- Aren't you sort of allowed to be selfish at this period of your life? Carrying a baby involves a lot of giving up and sacrifice. For example, I really miss wine and am growing tired of this ever-stretching, uncomfortable belly. I think being able to imagine your physical pain makes me more inclined to say "friend, you deserve a fancy purse!" 

As you can tell, I see points for both keeping and for returning the purse. So while this is not helpful for persuading you either way, maybe it will provide you with enough food for thought to help the decision process anyway. 

Burrberrymum

@EnglishTeacherMama so much food for thought thank you!

This is my second LO so there will be no baby shower. Basically the reason for the purse choice was because I'm having a hard time with my big purse being too heavy for me and I wanted something smaller to carry around with 2 kids. I usually use my bags until they start to wear and tear, and this would be my every day bag. The lying is what is making me want to return it.. I can't face the conversation and I never had felt the need to lie to him before about anything especially something I purchased.. So this may eat at me. 

I did think to myself though.. A new house. Another baby. This is probably the very last purchase I will make for myself in a long while. That's when I walked to the cash. 

serenity13

@Burrberrymum about 4 years ago I spent $500+ on a beautiful Coach bag & at least $100 on a matching wristlet/wallet.... I talked myself into buying it as an "investment" piece thinking I'd use it every day for years and it was so classic that it'd be worth it. Nope. I used it for maybe the first month after I bought it but then every time I saw it I just felt guilty and could only think of how much money I spent on it. I've used/still use the wallet daily, usually carrying it inside my much more practical $20 purse, but the bag remains in our storage room with little to no hope of me ever carrying it out of the house again. Now I'd feel guilty not only for how much I spent on it but also if other people were to see me, "ms. frugal" (now...after my crazy spendthrift phase) walking around with some fancy purse I'd feel like a hypocrite. I wish I could've returned that bag when I had the chance lol now it's just a bad reminder of my shopaholic days. So if I were in your position I'd either come clean about the true price to your SO or return it.

Goodmorning12

I'd just admit it and keep it.  So I usually have a 'fancier' purse on my shoulder however the last one has been by my side daily for the past 3 years.  In terms of mileage it's one of the more economical purchases.  No way a cheaper purse would have held up as long.  And it does need replacing now but I can pass it down & I know a family member will love it.  As long as it's quality construction Id have no hesitation. Leather shoulder straps are the bees knees.  I'm (not so) patiently waiting to see 'what's left' after the baby shower and make my next purse purchase based on budget.  Moms can have nice things.  It's OK.

motherofdragons-2

@Burrberrymum
Im gonna cash in my two cents, as it were as well. Your husband can help you decide whether or not to keep it- talk to him! Tell him what you told us, it sounds like the purchase impacted you emotionally in a big way lol and until you come clean I think it might stress you out! The fact that the purchase made you feel so strongly may be an indicator that you don't need it as much as you thought but you need SOMETHING to pamper yourself with, which I and probably your hubby will understand. And may I suggest hunting around online for purses? Ive found it keeps me from just getting one just because "it was the only one I liked in the store" though the obvious downside is you can't see it beforehand. Either way, I hope you find a peaceful solution and that you and your husband can laugh about it later

sunshine507

@Burrberrymum I'd talk through all of it (the purchase plus resulting emotional rollercoaster) with your husband, especially if he's good at helping sort through your emotions and is understanding of where you are right now (third trimester hormone mood craziness, if you're anything like me). Especially since this isn't something you usually do, and like you say your actions are coming out of left field.

FWIW I get nicer purses ($100-$300) and use them for years. A few times I've gotten purses under $50 but they've all fallen apart in under a year. YMMV though because I just get boring/black purses that fit what I need but are light enough for my shoulder, and ignore all trends.

Maybe also make a list of ways you can pamper yourself, with a range of prices but focus on low-cost but high-payoff (ex. for me, bath with a favorite book and epsom salts is amazing, and sometimes even just taking the time to do my nails for 20 minutes instead of doing household chores will really reset how I feel)... feeling like you're constantly sacrificing and not taking care of yourself as a person isn't a good place to be. 

babyisthenewblack

@Burrberrymum - what about returning it and treating yourself to a fancy diaper bag, like from Petunia Pickle Bottom? They have an outlet sale and I just got a bag that's normally $170 for $80! 

direwolfmini

I registered at Buy Buy Baby. I just received a very generous registry gift in the mail: Chicco Keyfit 30 car seat and based on the packing list, I realized that the buyer didn't use a 20% off coupon (I also just realized that online you can ONLY use coupons if you make a buy buy baby account, but you can't use coupons if you don't make an account.)

I fully plan on having it price adjusted. I called Buy Buy and they confirmed that they do this, and that I don't even need to bring in the car seat, just the receipt (packing slip from the shipment). That would be $46 that I can spend on other items for the babies. My husband is between jobs, and we could definitely use it to get other things that we need. 

***This is a FFnFC because I've realized (while searching the BBB return/price adjustment policy) that this is a really divisive issue. 

Gators&BoSox

@direwolfmini i would definitely take advantage of that! good for you!

dubcompanion

Ohh, money.... Confession! My mom bought my uncle's Christmas gift that is intended to be from me, because I told her I feel tight on cash. Yet I just spent $140 on maternity clothes that should last me postpartum. I saved $143 in coupons and sales, so overall, I scored 50% off the total purchase. But yikes. I'll make up for it next Christmas and get him something super nice or with extra thought into the gift...

direwolfmini

@dubcompanion The difference is, you NEED to be clothed for the remainder of the pregnancy, you don't NEED a Christmas present. I don't know about you, but I felt blindsided having to re-buy maternity clothes when I grew out of the first bunch. I didn't know that was a thing!!!!!! This will be the FIRST THING I tell an expecting mom when they ask for any tips from a STM!

Also, thank goodness for awesome Moms that have your back when you're cash strapped. Mine did the same thing for me when I needed to buy a gift for my SIL's wedding shower several years back. I was so broke back then, that my mom ended up picking something for her off her registry, didn't tell me what it was, and wrapped it up saying it was from me! Both of us were surprised at her shower  Come to think about it, I'm not sure that I ever made it up to her...

Burrberrymum

In conclusion.... I decided to return the bag and unfortunately don't have the guts to fess up. The comment that really stuck with me all day was if I can't confess then return it.. Makes so much sense. 

dubcompanion

@direwolfmini I didn't realize I'd outgrow my first round maternity clothes either! I really thought they would last the total nine months and into PP. Each mom is different though, I'm sure. I could see a singleton pregnancy making it with one round of mat. clothing if the mom's body shape and the way she carries her baby line up just right. 

I think I feel guilty about not funding the gift, because usually I put a lot of effort into what I send to others for Christmas, on my dime. My mom is indeed awesome! I'll be paying her back by letting her spoil her granddaughter.  

liepertsm

@direwolfmini and @dubcompanion I didn't realize growing out of maternity clothes was a thing either! It's been a rude awakening! 

mtmama2

I haven't REALLY cleaned my house since Christmas. I have done some sweeping and laundry and such but not a deep clean like I usually do weekly! It is a mess but I just don't have the energy for it, ugh! I am considering hiring a cleaning service to do it for me! 

Spartanrd4

@dubcompanion I can still fit into most maternity things still at this point, some are a little tighter than others so we will see what makes it to the end. The ones I am most confident will not are the more flowy tops with the empire waist vs. the stuff with the bunched up sides that have more stretch- pretty sure they will be belly shirts in no time!