@jsnakehole I would say you're benched since you literally aren't able to try. Typically we say benched when you can't TTC due to a doctor telling you not to- I am an example of this. My endocrinologist doesn't want me to TTC until my medicine has been switched, therefore I'm benched from TTC.
You would be TTA if for any reason you decided to not try to become pregnant, instead of a doctor or outside influence making the decision for you.
No one asked me but...I think that anyone who wants to post on this board can and should...and should post wherever they feel moved to. This place would be boring otherwise. i *think* what others were saying was they just didn't understand the appeal of posting here if you're TTA for reasons other than medical.
@hartmich I think you can post wherever you feel comfortable I personally don't like posting in WTO or TWW if I'm not actively trying because I don't want to be tempted to chart things when DH and I agreed on NTNP. It's just a personal thing for me.
eta: @heatherdubrow I was just talking about my personal feelings and how I use the board but I in no way expect other people to be the same. I agree, use it how you see fit.
Also as far as me pointing out that the TTA/Benched thread specifies TTA after having TTC is that I don't think it's the same if someone's just BOTB. I know that group is practically dead but there's I think there's a difference between TTA after TTC or being Benched after a MC and saying your TTA but just aren't ready yet because that's like saying anyone on BC is TTA and can post there. But again, my personal feelings and I'm not about to tell someone there wrong for using the internet. Like I don't own this place.
@slavenski I hope that didn't seem like a call out! I just noticed this being discussed a bit lately so I was just making a general statement. Not meant towards you at all!
@JJMNO1616 - the tta thread doesn't say it's only for those who are medically benched. It says it's for someone who started TTC but then had to pause.
However, I'm not going to be all "you can't sit with us". If someone who is interested in learning wants to come over a bit early to educate herself and get the mental process started, that's cool with me. And if she doesn't feel like she fits in wto or tww, then I think it's OK for her to post in tta. As long as she's keeping the focus on connecting with women on some phase of the TTC journey. I just see her as being on the beginning of that journey.
Now if someone were to come in, have no sense of timeline as to when they were going to start trying (even a rough one), not be looking to prepare herself to try, I would question why they were here.
But that doesn't sound like the case with the few pre-tcc people we have here. It seems like ya'll are here to get the process started, even if it's more mentally or educationally than you can physically.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Also I know it's bolded in the TTA/Benched thread but I think people read right past where it says for people who've been trying but are currently TTA/benched
^This is me, every week. I've generally gotten over it since it first started happening, but when there's a flood of new BOTB people who come to TTGP for one week and check in and then disappear, it makes me give super side-eye. Also, BOTB has been decently active lately, compared to the past year I've lurked there. It's really not "dead" anymore. There are enough people TTA that it could really be thriving if they chose to participate there. *shrug*
Also, FFMC: I guess I don't understand how participating in the check-in every week gives people more information and knowledge about TTGP than not participating in the check-in? IDGAF if BOTB people want to participate, I'd just rather they actually participated and didn't do one check in and leave. And it'd be great if they were aware of their audience and the fact that the thread is meant for those who are Benched or TTA after TTC, so let's not talk about how "hard" or "difficult" it is to wait to TTC because you want a summer or winter or January or whatever-specific-time-frame baby.
As for TTA vs. Benched, this is how it was laid out to me when the thread was first started and a lot of people didn't know the difference: Benched = medical reasons (loss, surgery, temporary medication use, infection, etc.) orinvoluntarily not TTC (SO is deployed/not around for other reasons, etc.) TTA = voluntarily TTA (school, work, timing, finances, etc.)
If you're TTA because you want to save up money = voluntary. Because you're in school = voluntary. Because your H is deployed = involuntary. Because you want an XYZ time-frame baby = voluntary. Because work "frowns upon" maternity leave at a certain time = voluntary.
Re: Weekly Randoms - week of 1/9
You would be TTA if for any reason you decided to not try to become pregnant, instead of a doctor or outside influence making the decision for you.
This is how I interpret it anyway.
DD born: 3/31/19
i *think* what others were saying was they just didn't understand the appeal of posting here if you're TTA for reasons other than medical.
eta: @heatherdubrow I was just talking about my personal feelings and how I use the board but I in no way expect other people to be the same. I agree, use it how you see fit.
Also as far as me pointing out that the TTA/Benched thread specifies TTA after having TTC is that I don't think it's the same if someone's just BOTB. I know that group is practically dead but there's I think there's a difference between TTA after TTC or being Benched after a MC and saying your TTA but just aren't ready yet because that's like saying anyone on BC is TTA and can post there. But again, my personal feelings and I'm not about to tell someone there wrong for using the internet. Like I don't own this place.
TTC since August 2018
However, I'm not going to be all "you can't sit with us". If someone who is interested in learning wants to come over a bit early to educate herself and get the mental process started, that's cool with me. And if she doesn't feel like she fits in wto or tww, then I think it's OK for her to post in tta. As long as she's keeping the focus on connecting with women on some phase of the TTC journey. I just see her as being on the beginning of that journey.
Now if someone were to come in, have no sense of timeline as to when they were going to start trying (even a rough one), not be looking to prepare herself to try, I would question why they were here.
But that doesn't sound like the case with the few pre-tcc people we have here. It seems like ya'll are here to get the process started, even if it's more mentally or educationally than you can physically.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
TTC since August 2018
Also, FFMC: I guess I don't understand how participating in the check-in every week gives people more information and knowledge about TTGP than not participating in the check-in? IDGAF if BOTB people want to participate, I'd just rather they actually participated and didn't do one check in and leave.
And it'd be great if they were aware of their audience and the fact that the thread is meant for those who are Benched or TTA after TTC, so let's not talk about how "hard" or "difficult" it is to wait to TTC because you want a summer or winter or January or whatever-specific-time-frame baby.
As for TTA vs. Benched, this is how it was laid out to me when the thread was first started and a lot of people didn't know the difference:
Benched = medical reasons (loss, surgery, temporary medication use, infection, etc.) or involuntarily not TTC (SO is deployed/not around for other reasons, etc.)
TTA = voluntarily TTA (school, work, timing, finances, etc.)
If you're TTA because you want to save up money = voluntary. Because you're in school = voluntary. Because your H is deployed = involuntary. Because you want an XYZ time-frame baby = voluntary. Because work "frowns upon" maternity leave at a certain time = voluntary.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023