December 2016 Moms

Sleeping issues

Help!  I hope someone out there has some ideas or advice!  My FI and I like to go to bed around 10pm.  Unfortunately, our DD has decided to make that the time when she wants to cluster feed as well as scream and cry nonstop until about 1 to 1:30am.  Nothing we do seems to help.  Of course, we feed her when she signals she is hungry.  We walk around with her, we swing her, we talk to her, we cuddle her, we try just lying her down in the bassinet, we play music, we change her diaper, even if it isn't dirty, we try different clothes in case she is hot or cold, we swaddle her, we unswaddle her.  Nothing seems to stop the screaming and crying.  My guess is that she passes out from exhaustion, and that is why it finally ends.  Does anyone out there know what is going on and do they have any experience and or suggestions and advice to help us get her to sleep faster so that we can get some sleep.  Or is this something she will outgrow?  My FI is already back to work, so he needs to get some sleep.  It is also very frustrating for us, and we are starting to snap at each other, which doesn't help the situation.

Re: Sleeping issues

  • Sounds like "witching hours". No advice if that's what it is...but it does pass eventually. It's so hard to get through though! 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!

  • ^this. Have you tried a warm bath? Or the sound of running water, a fan blowing in her face? Those are what helped with L when needed, and E likes to 'stand' on us and bounce.

    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:

    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 

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  • Oh some advice: when this was happening with dd1 both DH and I got overwhelmed pretty quickly. We'd get snappy at each other and even the dogs! What helped was taking turns. Bring the baby into a different room. We took turns based on 2 hour shifts because my DD did it for 4 hours. But...if it's at your bedtime, maybe switch days so someone gets some sleep. Your FI may not like his days since he's back at work but you need sleep too. If he works M-F, maybe do a schedule that he has Tues and Thursday during the week and helps more on weekends or something. But it does get better. 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!

  • I agree it's probably the witching hours. DD hasn't hit it yet... DS did it from 5p-7p every day and it lasted for several weeks, I can't remember exactly how long, but then one day it just stopped and it was over. I definitely understand getting snippy with each other but, as you obviously know, that doesn't help the situation. I agree with @sourlemon that trading off and taking turns can be very helpful. Just know that there is nothing that you were doing wrong!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm guessing you tried the pacifier too? Discovering that was huge for us during the witching hours. Our LO also settles down with white noise. Much louder than I would have anticipated- like being next to the shower running, a hairdryer, or a vacuum. Sometimes I turn a hairdryer on and aim it away from her on the changing table while I change her and she calms down instantly. If you have an ergobaby or some way to wear her, that also works magic. And then sometimes, none of those work and we just ride it out. Hugs
  • I'm so glad I'm seeing this thread because mine is doing this as well about 3 days a week and I'm starting to feel like I'm missing something.  :/
  • DS's witching hour was anywhere between 9p-2:30a... which was DH's shift. I always felt so bad. He'd just walk him around, put him in the "daddy hold" as he liked to call it, use a paci, change a diaper, anything to  get him to stop. Eventually he would, and would sleep when it was my shift to listen for him. DS is 7 weeks today and we haven't had to deal with the outbreaks the last few days. However, we also took him to the chiropractor last week to get some adjustments, and since then... he has been great! As FTP's, we just didn't know what to do and at some point, DS was inconsolable. We felt horrible and it definitely tested out patience and how we felt being parents.
    Me: 37 years old
    DH: 39 years old
    Married: October 17, 2014
    TTC Since: November 2015
    BFP: March 31, 2016
    DS: November 21, 2016

    December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I could have written this! L does the exact same thing at the same time. So far what works is just letting him nusre, I sing to him, and rock him. I've been pumping so when the non stop nursing becomes too much Dh will take him and give him a bottle and then he will sleep after. Big hugs. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • LO did this last night till 2 - no additional advice but wanted to let you know you're not alone!
  • This was DD the night before last. Finding the right balance of sleep is challenging, and when we do have a good night I rack my brain to try to figure out what I did differently!  
    All the books say sleep begets sleep. I've been keeping a baby log for feedings and sleep to try to crack her code. We seem to get better luck when we try to get LO tucked in around 8 or 8:30pm. 
  • Add me to the witching hour list as well. Although since we introduced gas drops, it seems to be less frequent. E is 6 weeks now, and we have the witching hour about twice a week now. The only thing that works for us is hours of rocking...I stared to read some of her stories out loud (mostly because it helps me keep my composure during the crying spells).  
  • Thanks for all the responses.  It really helps to know that we're not the only ones out there dealing with this, and there are people to talk to who are going through this and understand the frustration.  I forgot who asked, but yes, we tried the pacifier too.  Sometimes that works for a short period, but most often after about 10 or 15 minutes she spits it out and won't take it again, and then continues to scream and cry.  My FI suggested shifts, but I feel bad asking him to stay up with her sometimes, since he has to work and I'm a SAHM and have the option of napping during the day if I can (I usually can't sleep during the day).  However, she is so loud when she cries at night and it lasts so long that he's usually up with us anyway, trying to help comfort her and get her to sleep.  She is almost 4 weeks old, so it is comforting to hear that this witching hour doesn't last.  Hopefully within a few weeks things will be better.  I think I will try shifts with my FI, although our house is very small and there's really nowhere else to go with her at night but the two bedrooms upstairs.  We have heating issues....long story short, when we keep the downstairs at a comfortable temp, the heat rises to the 2nd floor and makes it feel like the tropics.  To make it better at night for sleeping, we lower the heat a great deal, but then it is way too cold downstairs to keep the baby there.  Anyway, I also like the idea of trying to read to her, even if it is more to maintain sanity.  I have a few children's books already that I can use.  Or I can start introducing her to the world of Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings really early and read her those stories.  Someone also suggested a bath, but since she screams and cries through those, I'm not sure that would work.  We just have to keep trying different things and keep remembering that this period doesn't last forever.  
  • We've had a couple bad nights like this as well. Nothing seems to make him happy. I think it's gas, but we've tried gas drops and gripe water, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. We keep telling ourselves it will get better... just hoping soon!  
  • I specifically came on looking to see if someone had posted any advice on this topic. We're finding the fussiness starts around 9-10pm and goes until 1-3am. It's been rough the past few nights but I'm glad to hear that it does eventually get better. I think it's harder when we try to analyze A's patterns (my H and I are both thinkers) so we're trying to just give up and accept it as our current reality. Harder than it sounds since we also have trouble napping during the day. Just doesn't feel as good as night rest.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • So last night I tried giving her a bath and then rocked her to the Sleeping Beauty Suite and BB fell asleep and I was like SWEET!!! It lasted 15 minutes lol. 

    Tonight I am bringing up the yoga ball because it's so much easier to bounce on. 
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020

  • Does she like car rides...I know with DS2, my DH used to take him on car rides to try to lull him into sleep (he was a very colicky baby).  Does she have reflux?  If so, maybe safely elevating one side of the crib/crib mattress would help so she's not flat on her back?  I also second @sarah12 recommendation of a baby carrier.  While DS3 (knock on wood) isn't that fussy, in general, he's asleep within 30 or 40 minutes of me putting him in it, and I occasionally transfer him to the rock n play and then the crib without him waking up after that.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
    Married: Aug. 2005
    DS1: Born Oct. 2012
    DS2: Born Jun. 2014
  • My baby girl's witching hour is from 5 pm to 10 pm everyday.  I haven't found the answer yet, but this hold is pretty cool and works well for about a minute:;

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