Reasonable or unreasonable?

nbc2015

Opinion question: my in-laws live just under 4 hours away, and like to visit pretty often. Right now the trend is a visit to see LO every 3-4 weeks. However, because they live a few hours away, the visits are always overnight stays-- one to two nights each time. I'm starting to feel a bit suffocated. I'm thinking of asking DH to stretch the visits out to once every 6 weeks or so. Is this unreasonable of me? My in-laws and I have an awkward relationship at best. TIA for your input-- with a first baby, I'm not trying to be rude, but I think my comfort level matters, too.

taitai82

Hmmm...that's a tough one.its great that they come to you though.my parents live an hour and half away but refuse to come here BC they HATE my husband... Then they complain BC they don't see my 3boys (the baby Cry's in car the entire time so I rarely drive down.maybe one time every 2-3months.... Your comfort absolutely matters!!! Just share your thoughts w your hubby or maybe meet half way  w in-laws every other time for a lunch and visit?

=caenis=

Your comfort matters. And yes, if necessary, this is something either your or your partner should discuss with them politely.

That said. I do think it's really nice that they take the time and effort to visit you so often. I personally wouldn't want to give them the impression it's unappreciated in any way. While it's suffocating due to the frequency and intensity with the overnights, is there anything you can do to play it more to your advantage so that it's less of a strain on you? Ex: use them for babysitting so you can have a night out with your partner/friends...or babysitting while you run errands or do something nice for yourself...ask them to cook a meal while they're over or help with some bigger chores...etc., etc.? If they did things like this for you, they'd get quality time with LO (which they obviously value), and you get something out of it, too.

Alternatively, if you're more comfortable with every 6 weeks, maybe you don't need to discuss this with them directly at all. Perhaps when they're planning the next visit, simply suggest something 6 weeks later. :-p It could save you from an awkward convo and spare their feelings.

Just my thoughts. Good luck with it.

rainbowminion

Personally, visits that often would drive me crazy. But I'm an introvert and I don't have what we call the 'gift of hospitality.'  My house is my comfy space. I adore my parents and we visit them often but I don't even like having them in my house that often. 
I do like @=caenis= 's idea about using them for babysitting if you're comfortable with that. Maybe that could give you some down time, and coincidentally time away from the in-laws as well. 
But I would say don't feel bad about stretching the visits out a bit. It seems excessive to me, especially since things are awkward between you. 

mwmiller4

I second (third?) the babysitting idea! My in laws were coming up once a month before winter and LOVE to watch her so that we can spend time together (or even so I can run errands by myself). 

Latina211508

If every 3-4 weeks is too much for you then just be straight up and say 6 weeks. It's your house and baby. Your comfortablity is number one. I also suggest meeting sometimes you guys meeting in middle for lunch etc.