A Big Thread for Dumb Questions

realgoodthing

Listen, pretty much every day, I have questions about my pregnancy or babies that I think are dumb. Here is a place for all our dumb (or maybe not!) questions. 

I'll start: I'm the breadwinner in my family and I have a weird job where I work super full-time for a few months at a time and then am off for a few months at a time (still working (going on meetings and writing), but only for 3-5 hours a day). Once baby comes, DH is going to be home full-time with the little dude, but when I'm not full-time working, we'll probably split childcare responsibilities fairly evenly. Should we get car seats for both our cars or just DH's?

SaphireSweetie88

@leilac - I would get a car seat for both cars. You never know when something might come up and you accidentally left with the car seat in your car or vice versa and then whomever is with the LO would be without the car seat. Hope that made sense lol

akbride09

@leilac...this thread name is total bait. I love it.
I would get one for each. If one of you ever leaves baby/child somewhere, and the other picks child up, you don't have to try to meet somewhere to get the car seat. Also you don't have to try to figure out the seatbelt and latch each time (not super time consuming, just annoying).
Alot of the popular baby carseats click into bases, so again, I'd have a base in each vehicle.

munchkinsmama

I would say yes to getting car seats for both cars, unless whoever is leaving the house without the baby would drive your car. We always had 2 and it made life easier. If you use an infant seat for the first few months you just need an extra base, then when you upgrade you will know if you really need 2.

morgarita

@leilac we have two car seats for ease of use. Rather than taking it in and out all the time. Like if we drop him at grandmas (grandma also has her own seat) then dh picks him up we don't have to take the seat out and leave it. 

Ok my dumbass question is what are tucks for? Just for hemorrhoids? Cause with ds they said to get some tucks and I never got hemorrhoids? (Yes lucky ik) or is there another use?

akbride09

I have a question for STM's (or more) - how do you plan to handle your room(s) situation? We literally built a house based on the assumption we'd only be having one child. So it's 3 bedrooms - 1 for us, 1 for child, and a spare for guests/office. I hate to give up that spare, but I don't know about two girls 5.5 years apart sharing a room. Probably fine for awhile, but not in the later years.

Cejiml

Not sure which car seat you are liking into but the Chicco key fit just requires a base to click into.  So we have 2 bases but one infant seat. When it's time to graduate to the convertible then we have 2 seats. 

LuLiLaEv

morgarita said:

@leilac we have two car seats for ease of use. Rather than taking it in and out all the time. Like if we drop him at grandmas (grandma also has her own seat) then dh picks him up we don't have to take the seat out and leave it. 

Ok my dumbass question is what are tucks for? Just for hemorrhoids? Cause with ds they said to get some tucks and I never got hemorrhoids? (Yes lucky ik) or is there another use?

@morgarita I put them on my pads the first week/2 home from the hospital. I did have hemorrhoids but it also helped soothe the swelling in my lady bits and my tear. They were SO nice!!

@leilac We had 1 infant car seat but a base for each car to just click it in. Now that DD is older we have a convertible car seat in each car.

edit: add

chiquita928

@leilac Two bases and one seat for the infant seat. 2 separate convertible ones for next year. Each set of grandparents has a convertible seat, too, thought they never needed the infant seat. I think only having one is tough.

@morgaita IDK if Tucks are exactly the same thing, but I used witch hazel pads to bring my lady parts some relief after DS was born. There was a blog post somewhere back then about a "padsicle" or "pad sundae" or something to help with healing and comfort.

@akbride09 DS and this baby will be 4 years apart. I originally thought if have them share, but that seems more of a pain. We got DS a trundle and got a sofabed for the family room. That way we can still have guests, but baby gets his/her own room.

AdaByron

@leilac I'd definitely get one seat and two bases.

@morgarita tucks are just witch hazel pads. You can store them in the fridge and it will just be cooling relief wherever you want to put them.

AdaByron

@akbride09 I would give your kids their own room and find a new spot for the office. If one of your kids has a full or queen size bed, you could still give guests that room (maybe keep some spare "grown-up" bedding to change to) and just have the kids share while you have visitors.

abmommy15

@leilac if you think that both cars will be used often then Get one seat and two bases for the infant seat and then two convertibles.  If you think one car will be used rarely with baby I wouldn't bother buying a second base and instead just do a baseless install with the infant seat when required.  It's super easy and takes a few seconds to install the bucket seat with a seatbelt.  Get a low cost second convertible like the Cosco Scenera Next when the time comes (bonus it makes a great lightweight travel seat).

satsumasandlemons

@leilac get two bases and one infant car seat! When you graduate in a few months, get two. 

abmommy15

@akbride09 I would get your older daughter a full or queen sized bed that can be used for guests and relocate the office.  Usually I see no issue with kids sharing a room but 5.5 years is a pretty big gap.

satsumasandlemons

akbride09 said:

I have a question for STM's (or more) - how do you plan to handle your room(s) situation? We literally built a house based on the assumption we'd only be having one child. So it's 3 bedrooms - 1 for us, 1 for child, and a spare for guests/office. I hate to give up that spare, but I don't know about two girls 5.5 years apart sharing a room. Probably fine for awhile, but not in the later years.

I'm in the SAME situation. Well not quite. We have a 5.5 year old girl and expecting a girl and live in a 2bd/1ba. We're going to have them share and building a guest room in the back for guest s. 

ETA: a friend has a girl and a boy 5 years apart (both great kids) that have shared one room. They're now 6 and 11, and it's just now starting to become something they're considering changing. 

Sassenach1743

Another vote for one infant seat and two bases (one for each vehicle). Why chance it? If you both will be sharing care duties and have separate cars then both cars should be equipped for baby at all times. Just makes it easier on you all the way around.

As far as kids sharing rooms... I think it's fine while they're young but am not sure how a 5.5 yr old sharing with an infant will work for too long. Personally, I'd give each child their own room. But, I also do not enjoy having guests stay at my house so I never plan to have a guest room. It's a waste in our house because we need the space. 

oheliza44

So I've had this question for a while but nowhere to put it- thanks @leilac for starting this thread!

I am a FTM and hoping to breastfeed. In am taking a 12 week maternity leave but will be returning to work after that. My office is small and pretty relaxed so other than finding the time and privacy (which shouldn't be a huge issue- my boss and coworkers are completely supportive) I am not too concerned about pumping at the office. However, there are many days I am out of the office and will be unable to pump without making it a big production of it. I work in a vey male dominated industry so this is particularly stressful to me. I was wondering if any ladies who have been in similar situations could share what worked/didn't work for them in these situations. Were you able to keep your supply while working? Where did you store the breastmilk when you pump at work or were out of the office on work related business? Thanks in advance! 

OperaSingerMommy

@oheliza44 I don't work in an office but I've had a lot of long days away from home for rehearsal periods and I would pump for 15-20 minutes every 3-4 hrs or so.  I think that legally your work is supposed to give you a room with a door that locks to pump (someone correct me if that's not right?) so I wouldn't be shy about bringing it up.  Personally, I preferred pumping in my car with a nursing cover on.  I had air conditioning, the radio, a quiet space to make phone calls, etc.  That's not everyone's jam though so definitely ask for a pumping room when out of the office of you need one.  DH has had many females in his line of work request a pumping room and it's never an awkward conversation.

For storage, I have a small cooler bag that I would use with 4 freezer packs.  I think with 3 or 4 freezer packs surrounding the milk, it is good for 12-16 hours which was enough time for me to get home to my fridge or to my hotel room fridge.

In case you have to fly for business trips, you can absolutely fly with breastmilk and freezer packs and carry it on the plane.  You don't have to limit to 3 ounces- TSA will just put the milk through a little scanner. 

Tip: always have an extra set of batteries for your pump just in case you don't have access to an outlet.

mslynn2012

oheliza44 said:

So I've had this question for a while but nowhere to put it- thanks @leilac for starting this thread!

I am a FTM and hoping to breastfeed. In am taking a 12 week maternity leave but will be returning to work after that. My office is small and pretty relaxed so other than finding the time and privacy (which shouldn't be a huge issue- my boss and coworkers are completely supportive) I am not too concerned about pumping at the office. However, there are many days I am out of the office and will be unable to pump without making it a big production of it. I work in a vey male dominated industry so this is particularly stressful to me. I was wondering if any ladies who have been in similar situations could share what worked/didn't work for them in these situations. Were you able to keep your supply while working? Where did you store the breastmilk when you pump at work or were out of the office on work related business? Thanks in advance! 

I was teaching and had a helluva commute so I pumped on my way to and home from work. While driving. I got pretty good at it too! Just stored the milk in the cooler that came with my pump and boom, supply saved! (I was only able to pump during lunch, so I would have been screwed otherwise).  

mslynn2012

Ok, here's a stupid question (that I will ask my doc, just didn't think to do so at my last appointment). 

3rd time mom, and have never experienced this. At my first appointment OB did a transvaginal us and couldn't see the baby. Thought I might have a blighted ovum, had to go to the specialist to use a high tech ultrasound and found baby. The specialist measured everything and noted that my uterus was rather large (it was blocking my OBs ultrasound). She noted the avg size is 5-7". Mine is 12! Since then I haven't seen my OB but I'm curious 1) has anyone ever been told they have a huge uterus?? (It was normal sized before, she said they can grow...) and 2) is this gonna affect baby/weight gain/my 3rd csection? 

Thanks for reading. My DUMB question that I haven't known where to post (and I refuse to dr google)

Mommyofcarson+1

morgarita said:

@leilac we have two car seats for ease of use. Rather than taking it in and out all the time. Like if we drop him at grandmas (grandma also has her own seat) then dh picks him up we don't have to take the seat out and leave it. 

Ok my dumbass question is what are tucks for? Just for hemorrhoids? Cause with ds they said to get some tucks and I never got hemorrhoids? (Yes lucky ik) or is there another use?

They are also soothing to wipe with after a vaginal birth, especially with tears. Also, many mom's get hemorrhoids after birth.

JmUDuuuukes 07

oheliza44 said:

So I've had this question for a while but nowhere to put it- thanks @leilac for starting this thread!

I am a FTM and hoping to breastfeed. In am taking a 12 week maternity leave but will be returning to work after that. My office is small and pretty relaxed so other than finding the time and privacy (which shouldn't be a huge issue- my boss and coworkers are completely supportive) I am not too concerned about pumping at the office. However, there are many days I am out of the office and will be unable to pump without making it a big production of it. I work in a vey male dominated industry so this is particularly stressful to me. I was wondering if any ladies who have been in similar situations could share what worked/didn't work for them in these situations. Were you able to keep your supply while working? Where did you store the breastmilk when you pump at work or were out of the office on work related business? Thanks in advance! 

I worked from home for the first 5 months after maternity leave but after that I started a new job in a very male dominated office. In my situation, many of them were dads and it surprised me how supportive they were when they saw the Medela bag. At one point in the airport, one went out of his way to find a clean family restroom (thanks airports for not being more supportive) and then on another day one offered me the use of his medicaton fridge instead of using the main office fridge. Guys, especially dads can be really supportive. Good luck!

JmUDuuuukes 07

Oh one more TSA tip. If you are traveling a lot in one day (bot outbound and return) and your ice may melt, it may be better to use disposable ice packs instead of the good pump ones. TSA made me dispose of my Medela ice pack because it melted and was technically now considered a liquid. I had also brought plastic bags to stock up on ice at the airport, so didn't have to trash those 4 pumps, but was still stressful.

acstec1

@oheliza44 If you are in your car frequently or away from a refridgerator, I would suggest a Yeti lunchbag or soft cooler. They literally stay cold for 16-24 hours. That brand is a little more expensive, but worth it.

ljd2010

@oheliza44 To address the supply part of your question, I missed a pump session at work occasionally (sometimes I just couldn't avoid it), and I never noticed a dip in my supply. Once your supply is established, you might find that you can go longer in between sessions and produce the same. I exclusively pumped, and in the beginning I was pumping every two hours and by the time I went back to work I was pumping 4-5 times a day. 

JmUDuuuukes 07

How do I change my bump username so people can tag me? I feel computer illeterate 

glitterfish-2

JmU Duuuukes 07 said:

How do I change my bump username so people can tag me? I feel computer illeterate 

You have to log into the knot to change it, then log back in here. (sign out and sign back in)

Rotu101

I know this thread is suppose to be for baby related stuff 

but...

can someone help me understand why I never get notified when someone tags me? Or maybe I just don't know where to look. 

manillabar

I have a dumb concern/question. I've always had huge boobs (cup size G) and they're only getting bigger and I'm secretly afraid my boobs are gonna smother my baby (I'm really embarrassed to have just written that lol). How did you "well-endowed" STM+ fare?

mrs35

@Rotu101 are you on mobile? If you are, you only get a notification that pops up if you happen to be on at the moment someone tags you. Otherwise you don't get notified. (As far as I know)

oheliza44

Thanks so much for the responses ladies- I appreciate all the insight! 

@acstec1 I actually bought my husband a Yeti cooler for Christmas, partly because I thought I could keep breastmilk in there during the hot summer months when we are on the go. (Haven't broken the news to him yet that his beer supply will have to share cooler space. )

theweevee

I love this thread!  My dumb question is when did your belly "pop" when you were a ftm?  I'm 15 weeks tomorrow and just kind of look the same but a bit like I drank a large glass of water?  I have a long torso and am tall-ish, but it's starting to freak me out.

LuLiLaEv

@theweevee I didn't start to have anything until 21 weeks with my first. People couldn't noticeable tell I was pregnant for a long time. For my maternity pictures my photographer was having a hard time because if we put my hands on my stomach my whole bump was covered up! 2 days before my due date in October I had a woman at a store guess I was due in February. Her eyes almost popped out of her head when I said I was due in 2 days! So don't freak out if you have no bump! Also, it was a huge plus for me, because I wore all my same clothes! I only bought 1 pair of maternity jeans, 1 pair of maternity leggings and a shirt for my maternity pictures. 

Edit: add

Dcwtada

When I was a FTM I didn't pop until almost 28-30 weeks. I remember going to my 20 week ultrasound not looking the least bit pregnant. With my second I popped in one day right before 20 weeks which annoyed me because I went on a cruise at 20-21 weeks. Seriously like three days before we left you couldn't tell I was pregnant and by the time I was on the cruise i had quite the bump! Normal clothes wouldn't fit. 

It really depends on the person and position of the baby - don't worry because you're not showing. I am petite but still was able to carry it well until the end when I was as wide as I was tall. 

theweevee

@LuLiLaEv and @dcwtada thanks for the quick responses!  I will stay out of the HDBD posts now and take a few deep breaths.

SaphireSweetie88

JmU Duuuukes 07 said:

(snipped)

I worked from home for the first 5 months after maternity leave but after that I started a new job in a very male dominated office. In my situation, many of them were dads and it surprised me how supportive they were when they saw the Medela bag. At one point in the airport, one went out of his way to find a clean family restroom (thanks airports for not being more supportive) and then on another day one offered me the use of his medicaton fridge instead of using the main office fridge. Guys, especially dads can be really supportive. Good luck!

@JmU_Duuuukes07

That was really sweet of them! I think guys who are fathers themselves can be really supportive because they know what their wives / girlfriends went through.

LoveLee85

akbride09 said:

I have a question for STM's (or more) - how do you plan to handle your room(s) situation? We literally built a house based on the assumption we'd only be having one child. So it's 3 bedrooms - 1 for us, 1 for child, and a spare for guests/office. I hate to give up that spare, but I don't know about two girls 5.5 years apart sharing a room. Probably fine for awhile, but not in the later years.

I have a family I use to nanny for that shared a room. They are mega wealthy upper class. They said they like it because it keeps the kids honest and together. Lol. They have bunk beds when the girls got older. But for a while it was a twin for 5 year old and a crib for baby. It works great!! The kids rooms were not huge either, good size but no master bedroom. Their two boys share a room also. Both teenagers. It works for them. They had a beautiful guest bedroom with its own bathroom and patio to the property. Parents said they weren't about to give that up for family/friends visiting. It works for them, their kids are awesome and never once did I hear a complaint! I think because they knew better. Hahah

ashaw512

I forgot who to tag once I got all the way to the bottom... anyways:

DD (4yrs) and DS (2yrs) share a room. We didn't plan on having another baby right now bc of things we have going on at the moment so, suprise! But once we move to a bigger place, DS1 and DS2 will share a room. DS2 will be on our room for the first several months, and DD will have her own room. For DD and DS room we have a full size bed.

3RD time mom and I've NEVER heard of a Tuck. Even my last BMB, I've only ever heard of WH pads so glad someone cleared that up. I literally thought it was misspelled and was suppose to say truck. 

For infant carseats we will have one, bc we have one car. But before we moved and we had two vehicles we had to seats and two bases.

No dumb question right now but I'm sure I will have one.

realgoodthing

@manillabar I have no answer, but I am afraid of the exact same thing! I wear an H cup pre-pregnancy and I'm very scared of smothering baby and I honestly think it's why I'm not excited about breastfeeding.

ljd2010

@manillabar It's a legit fear! Even when I was in the hospital, the nurse helping me told me to make sure I wasn't covering my son's nose. (I was a G pre pregnancy, too). It's a lot to balance (literally), but I think just being aware of it helps. I only nursed for two weeks and then exclusively pumped, but I didn't have an issue during those two weeks. I would check his nose to make sure it was clear, and it always was. I imagine when you really get into the rhythm of nursing, you'll find positions that work best to accommodate the, ahem, extra breast tissue!

Dcwtada

@akbride09 for a couple years when I was 7-9/10 I shared a room with my older brother by 19 months and my cousin my parents took in and she was like 10 years older than me (haha we actually shared a bottom bunk) and my brother had the top. It was fun and I think the only thing we fought over was closet space. 

We have four bedrooms now but one is for my stepson who is going to be 11, our toddlers share a room, and we have a playroom (and then our room). When this baby comes they will be in the playroom until they can start sleeping through the night and then move in with their brother and sister. We are moving this spring/summer and will follow that set-up the only difference will be instead of all four bedrooms upstairs, the master and playroom/nursery are on the mail floor and the toddlers room and my stepsons room will be upstairs. I am not running up and down stairs with a newborn all night lol. And I am so excited at the idea to not have to use the stairs to go to bed!