Checking in... *update & input needed*

weareturtles

I've been on a bit of a bump hiatus after my hysteroscopy in November, so I wanted to check in and update on where I'm at and perhaps vent a bit.

I have a blocked tube and had massive RPOC that took up half of my uterus (my doctors didn't note it on ultrasound but I did, even pointed it out to them and said, "there's a mass!" and insisted on hysteroscopy). Found out that my doctor at the time told the surgeon that the procedure would be super quick, that there was nothing left inside as I already had a D&C, so the surgeon only booked the OR for 1 hour. Well, I knew there was a giant mass on the ultrasound and 4 hours of surgery later, the retained products were out. HCG fell to 0 within days and I've been dealing with the aftermath. Needless to say, I don't ever want to be seen by that doctor again.

My surgeon and new doctor have been working together and consulting specialists about my case since it's so rare. They don't know if my left tube will reopen, but they've said they won't try to open it as long as the right one is open. Then there is the issue that because of the massive size of the RPOC, there could be so much damage to my endometrium that a fertilized egg may never implant. Lovely.

After the surgery I had a balloon in for 10 days, estrogen for 30 days and progesterone for 10 days and had the shortest, lightest AF ever following the hormones. I have a check up today (at my request) to see how my uterus and lining are doing and then an HSG to check for adhesions (asherman's) and whether tubes are open in early February. We've been told no TTC until after the HSG.

I've been dealing as best I can with this ordeal and thought DH was too, until he received a call from his brother letting us know that they are expecting their 3rd child - by accident! DH's brother called to tell him how stressed out he is about it and it's "hitting him really hard." His brother never wanted more than 2 kids but his wife (who always wanted 3) got KU 10 months after their last baby was born. I'm over it but DH is not. He's upset and frustrated. He wanted our twins so badly...

Hopefully I'll be getting good news in the coming month and I'll be getting more and more involved on the boards. You're all in my thoughts. We're all fighting battles that very few people know about. Thanks for being there for me and for each other.

EDIT -- see below for the update from my appointment and provide input on what I should do now.

rainafire77

Love and good thoughts to you and your husband! I hope you get good news soon.

RiverSong15

I've been wondering how you were doing @weareturtles. Thanks for checking in. I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through and the surprise pregnancy announcement from BIL. Much love and hugs sent your way. I hope the next few months brings you good news!

Mack2342

Thanks for checking in.  I'm sorry for all that you have gone through. Sounds like you have found better doctors and I hope you get good news soon!  Take care of yourself.  Hugs to you

mylittleversailles

I hope things are feeling better very, very soon. Take extra good care of yourself, please.

SP128

**hugs**  Hope things become brighter soon.  Take care of yourself. 

MimoCa

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I hope good news find you soon! Take care of yourself. ♡♡♡♡

laeberge3

Hugs to you.  I hope things start looking up too and that glad you have a new doctor.  Pregnancy announcements are tough enough, even when it's not your own family member.  Thinking of you all.

sprkls8506

Sounds like you def needed a new dr! Glad you have one! 

Pregnancy announcements are hard no matter what. 

Hopefully you get some good news soon 

babypi

I'm sorry you've had so many challenges thrown your way lately. I'm glad you have a better medical team working with you now. I hope 2017 is a much better year for you.

justsuzie

weareturtles said:

I've been on a bit of a bump hiatus after my hysteroscopy in November, so I wanted to check in and update on where I'm at and perhaps vent a bit.

I have a blocked tube and had massive RPOC that took up half of my uterus (my doctors didn't note it on ultrasound but I did, even pointed it out to them and said, "there's a mass!" and insisted on hysteroscopy). Found out that my doctor at the time told the surgeon that the procedure would be super quick, that there was nothing left inside as I already had a D&C, so the surgeon only booked the OR for 1 hour. Well, I knew there was a giant mass on the ultrasound and 4 hours of surgery later, the retained products were out. HCG fell to 0 within days and I've been dealing with the aftermath. Needless to say, I don't ever want to be seen by that doctor again.

My surgeon and new doctor have been working together and consulting specialists about my case since it's so rare. They don't know if my left tube will reopen, but they've said they won't try to open it as long as the right one is open. Then there is the issue that because of the massive size of the RPOC, there could be so much damage to my endometrium that a fertilized egg may never implant. Lovely.

After the surgery I had a balloon in for 10 days, estrogen for 30 days and progesterone for 10 days and had the shortest, lightest AF ever following the hormones. I have a check up today (at my request) to see how my uterus and lining are doing and then an HSG to check for adhesions (asherman's) and whether tubes are open in early February. We've been told no TTC until after the HSG.

I've been dealing as best I can with this ordeal and thought DH was too, until he received a call from his brother letting us know that they are expecting their 3rd child - by accident! DH's brother called to tell him how stressed out he is about it and it's "hitting him really hard." His brother never wanted more than 2 kids but his wife (who always wanted 3) got KU 10 months after their last baby was born. I'm over it but DH is not. He's upset and frustrated. He wanted our twins so badly...

Hopefully I'll be getting good news in the coming month and I'll be getting more and more involved on the boards. You're all in my thoughts. We're all fighting battles that very few people know about. Thanks for being there for me and for each other.

THIS!  So true.  Wow, so much to deal with.  I hope you have a great support system and people to vent to.

Uhlease13

Glad you have a better medical team now, so sorry you had to go through all that!! Hope you have some good news moving forward. Sending hugs! 

TScalei

I'm glad you checked in @weareturtles. I'm sorry for everything you have had to deal with and hope you get some good news soon!

weareturtles

Thanks everyone! Aside from my parents and DH, you are my support system. No one else knows what I've been going through for the past 6+ months.

Advice / Input Needed:

I just got back from my appointment with my OB. My uterine lining is thickening normally, which is reassuring. She also scanned my ovaries and found a mature follicle on the right side, measuring at least 15mm. This is where it gets tricky for me. The right side is the side that we know is open and now I know that I will be ovulating soon from the right side (I'm at CD14). Should we go with the original plan of waiting 2 cycles and the HSG before TTC, or should we take advantage of the fact that I am ovulating on the right side and see if it sticks?

Pros of TTC now:

1. We know that the follicle is on the right side and the right tube is open and we don't know when the next time I will ovulate on the right side will be (granted, there is always that chance that I ovulate on the left and it gets picked up by the right horn, but that's super rare).
2. If we wait and have trouble TTC (potentially because I'm ovulating from the left), will I regret not TTC now?

Cons/Risks of TTC now:

1. We don't know whether I have any adhesions since I haven't had the HSG yet. Granted they did the standard of care (balloon for 10 days and estrogen for 30), so the chances of me having adhesions should be low.
2. Miscarriage is always a possibility. Especially if there are adhesions or scarring. If I miscarried, they would do an HSG to check for adhesions and then a hysteroscopy to deal with any adhesions should there be any.

My OB says there isn't research out there to guide this decision. There are risks, but none that would have her telling me to absolutely avoid TTC until after the HSG.

Thoughts? Would you TTC or wait to get more information?

Hopefulmommy1980

@weareturtles I am sorry for Everything you have been through. Sorry for your bil being so insensitive. 

It sounds like you have a hard decision to make. It would be hard for me to decide. 

RiverSong15

That's a tough decision @weareturtles. If it were me, I'd imagine how I'd feel if I didn't TTC, and later TTC took a long time. Then I'd weigh it against how I'd feel if I did get pregnant and have another loss related to any adhesions. I'd also consider relative risk. It's not easy either way. Hugs.

merrypotter

So sorry for what you're going through. wishing the best for you and that you get the baby you so deserve. 

splashmountain

I'm very sorry for what you're going through @weareturtles and I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

MimoCa

I'm sorry for what your going through and the decision you have to make. Honestly if I were you I would TTC because for me it's best to know I tried and if it worked and worst scenario I have another loss related to my adhesions. I've always been a risk taker though and it's gotten me into some troubles in life, but I can't ever shake the feeling of not taking the risk and wondering what if? After two loss back to back, if it weren't for DH worried about me getting KU again for my health I'll be trying again immediately! 

But what ever decision you make, make it following what you think is best for you. Have faith in what ever you believe in that things will work out for the best in the end.

Mack2342

@weareturtles that is a tough decision.  If it were me, I would TTC.  I too would wonder what if we missed our chance.   I agree with @MimoCa trust your decision is the best whatever it may be 

Uhlease13

@weareturtles ditto everybody at how tough of a decision this would be. I also would personally ttc now because even without adhesions there's a chance for miscarriage, and there's never not going to be some sort unknown while ttc, so it would hurt me more emotionally to have to wait. Hugs though, we will be here for whatever you decide! 

vlagrl29

Trust your gut - me personally I would probably go ahead and TTC

rainafire77

I would try. Like you said. If you don't you'll always wonder.

weareturtles

Thanks for weighing in everyone! I was leaning towards TTC, though DH and I talked about this last night and were leaning towards waiting because he and I both agree that I am someone who likes information and that information will help prepare me for what to expect. If we wait and find out there are no adhesions, then at least I know that going forward and have that peace of mind, as opposed to potentially getting pregnant and being anxious about miscarrying because I don't know whether there adhesions and I was bound to miscarry. Also, I think mentally I've prepared myself to wait one more month, so this would have been a bit too soon mentally to get back in the game for me. I'm just starting to take care of myself (mind and body) for the first time since the miscarriage, and I want to get myself to be happy and healthy again going into TTC, presuming the HSG goes well.

Though I thought there was a decision to be made, this AM I had a 0.5 degree temp rise, so even if we wanted to TTC, it's possibly too late now.

rainafire77

After what your body has been through I don't blame you at all. Do what's right for you and your family. And we'll be here if you need us.

Hopefulmommy1980

@weareturtles hugs!

dpjennifer

@weareturtles Good luck with your decision and I hope that things start looking up for you soon.  You've definitely had a bumpy road.    You could 'not' try this cycle and just BD for fun and if it would happen, then it would happen.  Like, don't TRY but if you guys feel like some sexy fun times, then enjoy yourselves and what happens, happens?