FFFC Time!!! 1/6

musicinmysoul17

Let's hear some juicy stuff ladies!

*not guaranteed to be flame free*

PerraSucia

It's way harder to wipe poo butt with a henmerhoid.  

birdiejo

This one comes up pretty regularly but I'm definitely couch hanging and watching Disney channel with my kid instead of the giant list of things I need to get done. 

kirstynikole

The last two afternoons have consisted of me gathering toys/puzzles, the ipad, and my toddler, and locking us in my bedroom. He plays with his puzzles/toys while I cuddle in my duvet and binge netflix/rest my eyes. I never actually sleep but it is nice to just relax while he babbles and plays with his toys. Kids need to use their imagination, right? Moms need rest, right?  Sounds like a win-win to me. 

MLRocha

I am currently close enough to DH's weight that our FitBit/Aria scale is now assigning his weigh-ins to me.  The confession part is that my vanity is causing me to have a major freak out about this...  If I end up heavier than him (which looks probable at this point), I'm going to lose it.  Time to bake him some cookies.

WinchesterGirl

I'm having really mixed feelings about quitting to be a SAHM after little man is born. I thought I would be over the moon, and maybe it's just nerves... but I'm really surprised with myself.

birdiejo

MLRocha said:

I am currently close enough to DH's weight that our FitBit/Aria scale is now assigning his weigh-ins to me.  The confession part is that my vanity is causing me to have a major freak out about this...  If I end up heavier than him (which looks probable at this point), I'm going to lose it.  Time to bake him some cookies.

I surpassed my husband weeks ago. Trying not to think about it. 

FerForShort

Oh i passed DH a bit ago and I had feelings about it too. It's what I get for marrying a tall skinny man. 

poetryandoceans

All of my full panel maternity pants have just flat out given up. The panel just goes "Nah" and retreats shamefacedly, so my belly is hanging out, under my maternity tops, in all its glory. I now need my support band just for getting up to go to the bathroom. 

scottipino

@PerraSucia- I feel your pain.  Caught a stomach bug and have been thinking this very very often right now.  I buy the flushable moist wipes for that very reason 

ohstars

WinchesterGirl said:

I'm having really mixed feelings about quitting to be a SAHM after little man is born. I thought I would be over the moon, and maybe it's just nerves... but I'm really surprised with myself.

This is totally fair. I find myself still telling people that I'm just taking some time off and I'll be back to work in the next year. It's totally not my intentions and I love being home, but it's just really hard to reconcile in my brain. 

poetryandoceans

WinchesterGirl said:

I'm having really mixed feelings about quitting to be a SAHM after little man is born. I thought I would be over the moon, and maybe it's just nerves... but I'm really surprised with myself.

Nothing you're doing right now is permanent. You're being a SAHM right now, and while getting back into the work force at some point in the future might be a little more challenging with a gap in your resume, it's still extremely do-able. Don't think about it as forever, think about it as what works for your family right now, and you'll be able to revisit the decision in the future as needed.

It's very likely I'll be doing the SAHM thing for a while, depending on how the next year and teaching contracts go, and I totally get the feeling of uncertainty, but it's just what is working for your family right now. 

WinchesterGirl

ohstars said:

WinchesterGirl said:

I'm having really mixed feelings about quitting to be a SAHM after little man is born. I thought I would be over the moon, and maybe it's just nerves... but I'm really surprised with myself.

This is totally fair. I find myself still telling people that I'm just taking some time off and I'll be back to work in the next year. It's totally not my intentions and I love being home, but it's just really hard to reconcile in my brain. 

I'm hoping once he's actually born, things will just click. But in the meantime, I'm telling myself to give it until his 1st birthday. That should be time to get into a really solid routine, feel more confident, and let things settle before jumping into something else. I just didn't expect to have any doubts, and it's throwing me. I'm excited, but a 60% income cut is not a small thing. 

varimama

@WinchesterGirl I totally feel that way sometimes too. When I do tell people I just say I'm looking forward to this new challenge and am keeping my options open for the future so it's not like I'm setting myself up to be a SAHM for the next 20 years just for the immediate future. 

It was honestly hardest telling my mom b/c she's of the belief that all mom's should be SAHMs like she was. She's a very close minded, judgmental person and I don't want to be anything like her. In fact I went into a male dominated field, never planned on getting married, or having kids, or certainly not staying home with them if I did have them. Then I met DH and well I changed my mind. It's what is best for our family right now so that's what I'm going to do. It doesn't mean I have to be anything like my mother. 

SawyerRichardson

I passed up my husband weeks ago as well. We are the same height so it knew it was going to happen but it still hurt a bit.

I had always told myself I would be a SAHM, but now that it's happening I'm pretty nervous. I've always been very independent and liked contributing a paycheck, even though it is much less than my H makes. We've decided that I'll stay home for a year, then kind of evaluate and see how it's going budget-wise and everything. That way we are both leaving the door open to go back to work if that's what we decide is best at the time. So any decision you make now doesn't have to be a permanent one. No one will blame you if a couple months down the road you decide you want to go back or vice versa!

madamerwin

Re: Being a SAHM - I am having the opposite dilemma... I plan to go back to work after maternity leave, but I am afraid it will be too hard. I just recently got a new job that pays much better, so financially it still makes sense for me to work, despite the cost of daycare. I am hoping I will feel ok when I go back... Baby won't go to daycare until he's about 5 months (my H will stay home for a few weeks when I go back, and then my mom will take him for a few weeks), and he will be just across the parking lot at my work. People I know who send their kids there love it, and the teachers are totally fine with you dropping in whenever you want to breastfeed, or just to say hi. 

I do think that if we have another baby in the next couple of years (which is our tentative plan), I may be a SAHM. Paying for two kids in daycare is no joke. I'm kind of treating being a working mom as a temporary thing (or at least not decidedly permanent), and we will see how it goes over the next year.

kirstynikole

Re: Being a SAHM

Part of me is having major anxiety about having TWO kids at home. Especially with my husband's last year of school and his work schedule. He literally is at school 2 days a week from sunrise to sunset, and then the remaining 3 days he works the same schedule. When he comes home, he usually has school work to do and is exhausted. He always makes time for me and my son, but I worry about the stress it puts on him. I also worry that the constant 24/7 demand of 2 kids will drive me slightly crazy without any break. My MIL claims she'll watch my oldest 2 afternoons a week, but she's saying she will for the last 6 months and.... *crickets*.... 

kirstynikole

madamerwin said:

I do think that if we have another baby in the next couple of years (which is our tentative plan), I may be a SAHM. Paying for two kids in daycare is no joke. I'm kind of treating being a working mom as a temporary thing (or at least not decidedly permanent), and we will see how it goes over the next year.

This was a major deciding factor for me to continue staying home with my son. Daycare pricing can be ridiculous, and trying to get them a spot in a program can be difficult too- double that with two kids and it can be a headache! We've been looking for a part time program for my oldest and have yet to find one in our area. I refuse to drive 45 minutes, to drop him off for 3 hours and then turn around to pick him up. 

leslie1331

I'm totally having anxiety about staying at home, which totally threw me too! I have a 1.5 hour commute, plus 9 hour workday, plus DH travels 3 days a week, so it's just not feasible. I don't know how long I'll be off, but I know it won't be permanent either. But, I do like my job, love my coworkers and make decent money. So it will be hard to give that up. Plus, knowing my H is gone a few days gives me anxiety that there may be days where I have no adult interaction at all. I figured give it some time and make it work for now, it doesn't have to be the rest of my life.   And I also keep telling myself to suck it up and be happy I have an option. 

birdiejo

@kirstynikole I'm having the same anxiety about being home with two. It gets lonely being a SAHM and I can't imagine we'll be leaving the house too much for awhile because my toddler can be a nut when we're out. 

Also my two cents on staying home is I both love and hate it. I didn't want to leave my daughter when she was born and it wasn't even a question for me to stay home. Then we made the decision to homeschool and so this became my reality for the next million years. One day I'll feel lucky to be able to chill in my pjs with my kid on the couch, the next day I'll be questioning my self worth and what did I get myself into. It's tough. I think the key is to make sure you have time for yourself, can get out of the house and away from your kid once in awhile, and have a hobby or something that makes you feel like you have a purpose outside of just being a mom. I'm currently working on all of this.

MoonOverGoldsboro

I'm having the same problem, @madamerwin. I'm planning on returning to work--which has always and forever been my plan, even before we started TTC--and I'm suddenly really nervous that it's going to be awful and I'm going to want to stay home. We could probably swing it financially, but I love my job and I've always thought the daily adult interaction would be important for me. I think maybe I'm just having some general anxiety about the baby arriving, and this is where it's choosing to direct itself?

varimama

@leslie1331 the idea of going without adult interaction for a day is scary to me too. Maybe you can find a mom group in your area that hopefully meets on days when your husband is traveling? Some places I've found that do them are the hospital and library or you could checkout meetup.com to see if there are any in your area. I'm sure there are lots more places too that I just haven't found yet.

kirstynikole

@homemake yes! Thankfully I have my part time photography business that gives me adult interaction, and I'm a part of a creative Meetup group. Having things that make you "you" and not only "mommy" or "wife" are the key to staying sane! now I'm wondering how I'm going to find time for it all... lol

All I want is some sleep! 

ChaoticWolf

FFFC: I finally started gaining some weight instead of losing it, and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

WinchesterGirl

Wow! I'm sorry to have brought the heavy to our fun thread today.... but I'm so surprised/relieved/sorry that I'm not the only one unsure about this decision. 

Having a baby in itself is a huge life change; but, adding in no longer working outside the home, pay cut, less adult interaction, changing your household contributions... you guys all make really good points. I guess it's way more normal than I thought to be second guessing things - whether deciding to stay home or not! 

Overall I'm just trying to focus on the fact that I am grateful to have this choice, and it doesn't have to be permanent. I know some of the ladies here have part time jobs, and I'm open to that too, if I need that kind of activity. Options are awesome... but also sort of scary when you're making a big leap. 

Partyof6?

marriedhamstermom said:

@leslie1331 the idea of going without adult interaction for a day is scary to me too. Maybe you can find a mom group in your area that hopefully meets on days when your husband is traveling? Some places I've found that do them are the hospital and library or you could checkout meetup.com to see if there are any in your area. I'm sure there are lots more places too that I just haven't found yet.

Well she can always hang out with me ;-)  @leslie1331 I am not sure what my days will look like,  especially in the Fall when all 3 of mine will be in school,  but I will have no other friends with baby babies,  so we can totally hang out.  

Partyof6?

I am sitting at my kitchen table eating Nutella out of the jar, I had started out just dippimg pretzels.   I should be figuring out what the kids and I are eating for dinner.   DH has a coworkers retirement party at a fancy restaurant,  and I am debating chicken nuggets or waffles.  

True mom confessions. 

PerraSucia

We actually planned on me staying at home after this dude was born but my older guy still going to preschool. Then while I was pregnant we decided we weren't ready to get rid of our second income.  Maybe in a couple years we will reevaluate. I remember sobbing dropping my big guy off at daycare for like a month when I went back. But to be honest there came a point where now when we are off for a week together I'm like "okay school go ahead and start" 16 hours a day. 

leslie1331

@Partyof6? Deal!!!! That makes me feel better  

MommaBean

FFFC: the only time I do my kegels is when I sneeze. 

PerraSucia

MommaBean said:

FFFC: the only time I do my kegels is when I sneeze. 

Or when you read or hear the word kegel?

LC12261012

+1 to being so scared of what life as a sahm of two will look like. It's easy to get out of the house with just my DD for a few hours but I know that won't be the case for the first few months once baby is here. We also thrive on routine, and a newborn will be throwing a monkey wrench in that as well. Some days with just one kid at home all day is draining, what the hell have I gotten myself into? 

I just stared staying home about a year ago, when DD was a little over two because our babysitter went back to work and daycare was not going to be financially possible. We decided last year was a good time to TTC since I was already home, and I plan to stay home until this baby is in school full time or if we have another until that child is in school full time. Eventually I would like to return to the work force but that seems so far off I'm terrified it will be SO hard with such a big gap on my resume. I try to tell myself I will cross that bridge when I come to it because if I think too much it gets really stressful. 

becks13-2

@ChaoticWolf I'm in the same category as you, but I think the only reason I've put on any weight at all is because I've been eating way more sugary stuff than I should >> <<

Xstatic3333

Stretch marks appeared this week. FFFC: I thought I was a speshul snowflake and they weren't going to. 

poetryandoceans

PerraSucia said:

MommaBean said:

FFFC: the only time I do my kegels is when I sneeze. 

Or when you read or hear the word kegel?

We should just have a rotating band of people who mention kegels every day in the weekly randoms. Because that's the only time I remember to do it.

Patience7150

poetryandoceans said:

PerraSucia said:

MommaBean said:

FFFC: the only time I do my kegels is when I sneeze. 

Or when you read or hear the word kegel?

We should just have a rotating band of people who mention kegels every day in the weekly randoms. Because that's the only time I remember to do it.

Yes to ALL of this.

poofwok

Xstatic3333 said:

Stretch marks appeared this week. FFFC: I thought I was a speshul snowflake and they weren't going to. 

With DS, I was thrilled to say up until the end of the pregnancy that I had no stretch marks but after giving birth, I noticed at least 10 little ones at the very bottom of my stomach that I hadn't been able to see when pregnant. I was rather disappointed, lol. Womp womp. 

birdiejo

@concreteangell me too! 

kirstynikole

@concreteangell yes so much this! After I had DS I remember thinking wth where did that come from? Now I'm just like whatever, once I have all my kids maybe I'll get some sort of laser therapy or just continue rocking my stripes. 

CornchipLA

Kegels- yep only when mentioned!

HeatSparks

I've done so many kegels catching up on this thread.