Prepping siblings for baby

n0soup4u

Do you have any goals that you wish to accomplish with your other child(ren) before baby arrives? What concepts are you helping them learn? 

BelhurstBride

I hoped DD1 was potty trained before DD2 came along, but that was really all on her. I'd like for DD2 to decide to take the plunge here soon, but I'm not keeping my hopes up. 

With DD1 we read some books about becoming a big sister and transitioned from me being the primary bedtime caregiver to it being DH. Honestly, we didn't make a very big deal out of the sibling thing and neither did she. She couldn't have made the transition any better than she did. 

DD2 seems so much less mature than DD1 at this age, so we're not sure what to expect out of her. On the plus side, DD2 could not love her older sister more, so at least there's that.

kdanjou

I think we might take a 'sibling prep' class with DD this spring.  It is offered through the same program as birthing classes and such, and includes a hospital tour so she will get to see where the baby is going to be born.

Elyse1384

DS will be 3 in March and I would love to get him out of diapers.  He wears trainers all day at daycare with no accidents, but weekends often find him in a diaper if we need to take a long car ride or if we're out running lots of errands (I'm lazy... shame on me).  Nighttime is another matter, but just the daytime consistency would be great!  When he starts to wake up dry or near dry, we'll figure out a transition plan for nighttime.

DD is too young to understand what is happening.  She just turned 1 in November and doesn't talk yet, so we're hoping as we get closer to June we can read the same books we read DS about a new baby.  She adores her brother and tries to emulate him, so we're somewhat optimistic.  Maybe if she sees him being good to the baby she will be.  DS is beyond excited for another baby which should help.

Wino0920

My boys are 5 and 3 and really haven't cared much about the baby. They talk about it when asked, change their minds all the time about sister or brother, and really are just laid back and chill about it. My oldest will be that way after the baby comes (he will be so excited to be having sleepovers with his aunt and cousins and maybe grandma). My second, I'm guessing, will be the same. It's just their personalities. 

neludelu

I have 16 month old and the thought of him not being the only one breaks my heart (even though this was planned). I'm trying to soak up every second with him and just let him feel loved and supported so he doesn't feel like we are trying to replace him.

n0soup4u

DD will be 21 months mid January. I have been trying really hard on the concept of sharing. During the day at 'school' she is really good about it. When she gets home around her toys she isn't so good about sharing. 

We are also working hard on potty training. It's going really well. I'm not entirely sure if she will be completely out of diapers by end of May/ early June. Which I am OK with.

We are also trying to work on patience. With a new baby around, I won't be able to jump up at the drop of a hat to fulfill her need.

n0soup4u

neludelu said:

I have 16 month old and the thought of him not being the only one breaks my heart (even though this was planned). I'm trying to soak up every second with him and just let him feel loved and supported so he doesn't feel like we are trying to replace him.

DD is an only too and I get really emotional thinking about having to split my time equally. 

neludelu

itsfine said:

neludelu said:

I have 16 month old and the thought of him not being the only one breaks my heart (even though this was planned). I'm trying to soak up every second with him and just let him feel loved and supported so he doesn't feel like we are trying to replace him.

DD is an only too and I get really emotional thinking about having to split my time equally. 

Glad I'm not alone. The more I think about it the more upset i get. 

kscheich

neludelu said:

I have 16 month old and the thought of him not being the only one breaks my heart (even though this was planned). I'm trying to soak up every second with him and just let him feel loved and supported so he doesn't feel like we are trying to replace him.

I have a 16 month old DS too and I feel the exact same way! I guess since we planned this pregnancy I did not expect to feel so much sadness for him and giving up my time with him. My husband works afternoons so we are not home at the same time at all during the week which means lots of one on one time for DS so I think that just makes it even worse!

kscheich

I'm hoping to get DS out of the crib and into a bed by the time Baby #2 comes. Having a hard time taking the plunge though because I do not trust him with the ability to roam the house WHATSOEVER. It has also crossed my mind to try to get him potty trained by the time new baby comes, but he's not ready yet so I'm playing that one by ear. Might also do it while I'm on maternity leave. 

MotherofDragons

I need to get my son into his own bed. 

But i'm not ready. I don't think I ever will be. 

silliegirlie143

@MotherofDragons The Mr asked me when DD will be moving downstairs into her room. Never. The only correct answer to that question is NEVER. And this new LO will just join us in our room, too. 

Our next house will apparently only need one bedroom. Both kids will sleep in their cribs. And I will never be ready for them to grow up. 

sls

kscheich said:

I'm hoping to get DS out of the crib and into a bed by the time Baby #2 comes. Having a hard time taking the plunge though because I do not trust him with the ability to roam the house WHATSOEVER. It has also crossed my mind to try to get him potty trained by the time new baby comes, but he's not ready yet so I'm playing that one by ear. Might also do it while I'm on maternity leave. 

Every kid is different, but with DD, she's happy to stay in her room IF I shut the door. If I leave it cracked open, that's an invitation to explore. We moved her when she was a little over a year and a half (and I was totally dubious--DH wanted to try it and I reluctantly agreed on the condition that her leaving her room every night meant back to the crib). She had a period of about a month around when she turned 2 where she *would* open the door and leave the room, but she'd always come looking for us. She's almost 2.5 years now, and it's worked fine since she got over that.

mombod

DS is 21 months now. We are currently working on getting him in his own toddler bed. We cosleep and he jumps out of cribs. This is going to be a struggle bc he loves cuddling with mommy. I am trying to do this sooner rather than later before I need to be cocooned in pillows to sleep.
Once we get that down, potty training is next
 Hes very interested in it but still seems a little young. If hes not fully trained by June Im not worried.

kfry22

My son is 14 months and will be 19 months in June. I'm going back and forth on the toddler bed. He does soooo good in his crib that I don't want to disrupt his routine and move him to a new bed and room if he isn't ready. I think he can stay in the crib until he climbs out of it. But that means buying a second crib for this babe. 

My other goal is to take the pacifier away from him. He was supposed to only ever have it to sleep. My husband has become an enabler and let's him have it anytime he cries. Daycare does the same thing. My goal is to have him done with them at home by February and work on daycare next. 

n0soup4u

kassyfry said:

My son is 14 months and will be 19 months in June. I'm going back and forth on the toddler bed. He does soooo good in his crib that I don't want to disrupt his routine and move him to a new bed and room if he isn't ready. I think he can stay in the crib until he climbs out of it. But that means buying a second crib for this babe. 

My other goal is to take the pacifier away from him. He was supposed to only ever have it to sleep. My husband has become an enabler and let's him have it anytime he cries. Daycare does the same thing. My goal is to have him done with them at home by February and work on daycare next. 

I could have written both of these issues myself. DD sleeps great in her crib. She doesn't climb out. But I would really like to avoid buying another crib. If we do decide to transfer her, it will be directly into a full size mattress on the floor. 

The other thing is that damn nuk. Originally it was for sleeping only and now any time she gets whiney, in it goes. So annoying.

Jendink

We are currently potty training my daughter.  She will just turn 3 when the new baby arrives so we decided that one kid in diapers was enough!  THANKFULLY my daughter is doing sooooo amazing at the potty training thing.  The first two days were HARD!  I wanted to quit but we are a week in now and she didn't have a single accident yesterday!!

Elyse1384

@jendink - random question.  So we're potty training DS. He does fantastic at daycare (no accidents), but he will only pee there.  At home, he doesn't like to use the potty for some reason (he will pee in it, but tries to avoid it) and pretty much refuses to have a BM in it.  He has pooped in the potty ONCE.  He will essentially have a meltdown until I put a diaper on him so that he can have a BM.  I don't know if you're a SAHM or use daycare/nanny/etc services.  Did DD have a tough time with the BM part?  I'm baffled.  

mamaelle27

@kassyfry, @itsfine- My daughter is 16 months and these are my issues too. I'm planning a bassinet in our room for the baby and transitioning my daughter from her crib to an existing twin bed when she seems ready, hopefully before the baby outgrows the bassinet. I'm not too worried about the pacifier b/c she only uses it for sleeping, she also still takes a bottle in the afternoon or evening that I should probably try to get rid of, but it's her comfort and she's tiny so I feel like she needs the extra calories. I also feel like it would be sad for her to have her pacifier and bottle taken away only to see this new baby show up with pacifiers and bottles, but maybe I'm overthinking it. She's mildly interested in the potty but I think she's too young for any serious potty training, so I may hold off on that entirely until after the baby.

alm52386

The girls I nanny are 21 months apart. AJ got moved to a twin bed before her sister was born. They also transitioned to nuks only in her bed and in the car before baby. A few months after the baby was born they took the nuks away and she "gave them to the baby." I have no idea why or how but she NEVER gets out of her bed on her own. She will stand up and walk around her bed but won't get out of bed and leave the room! 

Jendink

Elyse1384 said:

@jendink - random question.  So we're potty training DS. He does fantastic at daycare (no accidents), but he will only pee there.  At home, he doesn't like to use the potty for some reason (he will pee in it, but tries to avoid it) and pretty much refuses to have a BM in it.  He has pooped in the potty ONCE.  He will essentially have a meltdown until I put a diaper on him so that he can have a BM.  I don't know if you're a SAHM or use daycare/nanny/etc services.  Did DD have a tough time with the BM part?  I'm baffled.  

@Elyse1384
My dd actually poops on the potty well too. I've worked in child care for about 12 years and it's fairly common for kids to not want to poop on the potty.  How old is DS? In my experience they seem to come around eventually.  I'd just kinda follow his lead on it... Easier for you and him

Jendink

@Elyse1384
i typed a lot more there but for some reason it didn't show up!  

Elyse1384

@Jendink DS is 2 (he will be 3 mid March).  Up until the last couple of weeks, his peeing in the potty was inconsistent at best.  The past couple of weeks he is doing great and this improvement seems to have come out of the blue.  In fact, last week was when he pooped in the potty for the first time.  Not since sadly.  I try to make a big deal out of when he is successful and be nonchalant about accidents or refusal to use the potty for poo, but in my head I'm begging haha

doodleoodle

@kassyfry DD is 14 months and I think I'm just going to bite the bullet and buy another crib. She loves her bed and I don't want to build resentment by her thinking the new baby took her bed. I could very well be overthinking things though lol IKEA has cribs for $100 that include a conversion kit to make it a toddler bed. That's what DD is in now, so I figure that two IKEA cribs is still less expensive then most other cribs. 

I'm starting to feel guilty that I can't mentally prepare DD for a sibling. This pregnancy was planned, but since falling pregnant DD has become so clingy and jealous (can she sense it, like animals supposedly can?). When DH hugs me she needs to get in on the hug, or break us up immediately, and she seldom wants to be put down. I've been trying to let her have more independent play and leave her in the care of DH or MIL more frequently so it's not completely shocking that my attention is divided come June. I love what a momma's girl she is, I hope that I can somehow reconcile that with this new arrival.

Jendink

@Elyse1384
In my experience boys are harder!  Have a talk with his teachers and see what works for him there at school. Maybe find something that he enjoys and if he poops 3 times (or whatever # you choose) he gets that as a reward.  M&m's work for my dd at home while stickers work at school.  I'm going with It bc it's working. Starting our with smaller attainable goals first then moving up to more challenging goals. The trick is finding what he wants as a reward and what will motivate him. Does that make sense? I typed that all above but I feel like I explained it better. For some reason TB hates me tonight lol. 

c1tym0m22

@Elyse1384 We have similar issues in my house (and our kiddos are a few weeks apart in age). DD requests a diaper to poop at home - (TMI coming up) she had major constipation issues prior to being potty trained and still uses Miralax daily to keep her regular, so we don't want to lead to any setbacks. She will sometimes go at school, but we've decided it's not worth fussing over and are just going with the flow. These kids....

gabadoo

For those of you having any issues with potty training, I HIGHLY recommend the book "Oh Crap! Potty Training"...plenty of advice about PTing in general and devotes an entire chapter to poop! I followed the book religiously when potty training my son starting at 21/22 months (he was ready)...it took us about 1 month to "fully" train...and he's been accident-free during the day since ~25/26 months! He's currently 27 months and wakes up dry 95% of mornings, but still sleeps in Pull-Ups because he's still in the crib and I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night to help him out until I absolutely HAVE to.

Mtnmommy

I'm hoping to have DD almost totally potty trained by the time #2 arrives. She'll be 3 next month. We started in September, and she pees in the potty during the day 100% of the time. She won't poop in the potty at all. I'd like to have resolved. 

allywat

I echo a lot of the sentiments about being sad that my Ds wont have me to himself anymore. He is 15 months and my heart breaks a little thinking I won't be able to give him everything I am now. Im also trying to figure out sleeping arrangements, he is currently in our bed and I can't imagine transitioning him out anytime soon. 

mrt

Also on the trying to potty train train. My younger son will be 3 in April, and while he will occasionally sit on the potty and pee, he gets upset if we push it, so I haven't. But I want him to be potty trained before the baby, v and I need him to be potty trained before preschool starts in September. I'm going to try to do the weekend barricaded in one room with the potty and no pants next weekend and see how it goes. If that doesn't work, I'll have to hope that he figures it out as he gets closer to 3. My oldest son was mostly potty trained at 26 months with very little work, he just wanted to, and this one doesn't.

Xath

I am not trying to potty train DS2 before baby comes.  I did not try to potty train DS1 before DD or DS2 came.  If DS2 shows real interest, I'll follow his lead. If not, whatever.  

We're having a baby and making an international move within a 2 month span.  Major changes can cause serious regressions, especially in kids who train before they're really ready.  I'd rather keep changing diapers for 2 and not have to worry about PT regression.  DS1 potty trained in his own time, and when he got it it stuck for both day and night like a light-switch went off.  I'm going to keep this pretty low pressure for DS2; he's got enough huge changes on the horizon.