TW: termination for medical reasons and living child mentioned
Hi, with such a heavy heart I join you after terminating for medical reasons yesterday. I'm in such a raw numb place so I'm reaching out for support please.
At 11 weeks our baby boy was found to have a cystic hygroma. We followed up with the Panorama test which came back high risk for Trisomy 18. We were referred to a perinatologist and genetic counselor in a metro area about 3 hours from home. Ultrasounds showed multiple abnormalities already at 14 weeks including several which are life threatening without immediate surgery upon birth. We had a second ultrasound at 15 weeks and saw a different perinatologist and then CVS FISH results confirmed T18. The doctors were so certain after the ultrasounds that that was what baby had but I needed the diagnostic test for my own mental health before deciding on termination.
We made the heartbreaking decision to terminate and that happened this week at 17 weeks. It was a two day process that was physically and emotionally awful. My DH has been my rock through this. We know we made the right decision for our little boy, our 4.5 yr old DD and ourselves but that obviously didn't make it easy. So far my pain is under control and the surgery went well. Emotionally I feel a strange sense of relief since it's over and I know now 100% our son will not suffer. But at the same time I'm heartbroken. Especially since we had an ectopic pregnancy too last spring. So this is the 2nd time this year we've had to leave the hospital without our baby.
Later today we travel back home and have to tell our daughter the baby died. It's the part I've been dreading all along- it makes me sick thinking about it. But I'm the same sense I'm ready for her to know so we can grieve as a family.
Im sorry for all of your losses and I look forward to hearing your stories and getting to know you. It helps so much to talk with those who have been in similar situations. Thank you for reading.