Announcing on Social Media - Yea or Nay?

PurplePumpernickel

So I searched for this and couldn't find any recent threads; forgive me if I'm missing something.

As we get closer to the second trimester, I'm thinking about whether or not I want to announce this pregnancy on social media. I'm very active on Facebook and Instagram, so it would seem kind of natural. However, I remember during our IF stages, when we were trying and trying with no luck, or in the no-man's land of fertility treatments without success, and how a pregnancy announcement made me feel. I wasn't always upset (in fact, I'm proud of myself for how not angry I'd been at so many pregnancy announcements.) But I don't want to cause someone else pain. 

I was thinking of putting something in the status about infertility in general, and how it is more common than people think and if friends are struggling I am a friend and resource. I have no problem telling anyone that this was an IVF pregnancy.

What are others doing?

byrneme

I struggle with this. Before, say 2 years ago, it would have been no question and I would have done it. I still want to scream it from the top of my lungs (when I can that is) but I hear you on the sensitivity of it. Especially b/c I have a very close from who had her transfer 10 days before me and it didn't work out. I WANT to be able to celebrate though. I WANT to be one of the people that everyone (FINALLY) gets to congratulate. It's been such a long road I WANT that happiness. Yet in the back of my mind the thought of making someone else uncomfortable causes me to second guess all of that. 

So I've basically offered no advice but wanted you to know you aren't alone. I think we'll still probably announce but that decision changes daily in my mind. I'd be curious what others are doing.

ultratomato

I announced my pregnancy on Facebook and Instagram I couldn't help it i figured these are our first children and our last too. But I'm not big on posting on social media but once these babies are born in 10 days it will be twin overload and I don't care.

ale9687

I posted it on fb. Each time I saw a fb post I was a little jealous inside that it wasn't me so why take that away once I was actually able to make my own announcement. Also I have such a large extended family that I knew were hearing the news through my parents and grandparents but this was their chance to congratulate dh and me personally. 

PurplePumpernickel

@byrneme I guess we're in the same boat! Also, our FETs were three days apart  

dragonfaerie

We were very open with our IF journey, so I think there would have been a fuss if we hadn't made an announcement on Facebook. If people know that you have gone through IVF, they will understand your joy in being able to make such a happy announcement. If you have someone you know of specifically that has been struggling, you could call them in advance and tell them so they don't get blindsided, but if you want to shout it from the rooftops, I say go for it. Although we all understand and appreciate sensitivity about pregnancy announcements, we shouldn't mute our own happiness, nor would good friends want that for us.
 

mskeenan

I announced on Facebook but also in my post included that we had been through IVF . It was my first public acknowledgement of our struggles but I wanted anyone I know that was struggling to know that they are not alone .  While infertility sucks I am proud that my husband and I have made it through it and felt like that deserved to be celebrated as well . 

babylonghorn16

I posted on Facebook. I struggled with it as well, and was also thinking about saying something about our journey... but DH didn't feel comfortable with that, so I respected his wishes. I figured I waited 2.5 years, I deserve to announce my pregnancy. I remember being saddened by other's announcements, but I didn't hold it against those people. I was happy for them, but sad for myself. Anyway, I hope you find what's right for you!! Congrats!

Tulips29

I ended up not posting on Facebook and still think back that I should have. Others' announcements have always made me feel sad for myself, but I was also happy for those people. So on one hand, I did think how I might possible affect others, but I also wanted to share my happiness and have others be happy for me. I went back and forth for the longest time and in the end by the time I wanted to share, it was kind of late in the game. We also didn't publicly share our infertility journey, only a select few people know to this day, so I wouldn't share that part on social media. The other day I asked my husband how he feels sharing a birth announcement though and he said if I want to post it, I can go ahead. So I think I might just do that once he's here. I think there's nothing wrong with sharing your happiness if you decide to make an announcement. 

clt2pwm11

I understand your feelings. I have a few friends on there who are still going through treatments, but I also wanted to celebrate our success as maybe give hope to those still trying. One of the things that got new through was repeating success stories of people I knew who were infertile and went on to have babies. So I did announce. I did a trigger warning before the post, and then I shared a little about our story before posting the picture.I actually had people message me and thank me for being open about our journey. Good luck making your decision!

Colleen0516

I will announce it but I want to be sensitive to how I announce it. I think wording is everything. People know I struggled, so I will probably mention my struggle in some way. Hopefully it will give hope to others who are struggling too. 

wifeinraleigh28

If you had asked me 3 months ago I would have said (and did say) that I wasn't making a social media announcement because of how those made me feel over the years. I changed my mind though. First of all, DH really wanted to share our happy news with everyone, and I didn't want to take that away from him. But also, I realized that I wanted to experience the sharing of the happiness with him too. We struggled for so long and I didn't want to deprive us even more than we already had been! I am all about making the feelings of others a priority, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. And it's okay to be a little bit selfish! I did personally warn those of my friends who I knew were struggling prior to making our announcement though, because I didn't want to make them sad.

I would have included something about IVF and IF in our announcement but DH didn't feel comfortable sharing that part, so I had to respect that. Since your partners are just as much part of this as you are, it's important to make sure they are comfortable with all the disclosures.

Announcing on FB and Instagram has also been nice because now I can stop telling people as I see them (which I'll admit, was starting to feel awkward and redundant)!

kelrauh

I was very hesitant but I ended up making a facebook post. I was so nervous to post that I was shaking when I hit post. This is what I posted but with DH's name. 

This was what I posted at 12 weeks before Thanksgiving.
We are excited to say that we are expecting two miracles to join our family in May. Our journey to having a family began at a doctor’s office like 1 in 8 other couples. God had a plan for us that included countless tests, amazing doctors, many shots, and even more tears, but we have only grown from this experience. We have become a team and learned more about each other than I could have ever dreamed. *DH* is selfless, fun, inventive, hardworking, loving, and most of all he doesn’t give up. There is no doubt in my mind *DH* will be the best father for our children. I look forward to this new chapter of our lives.

byrneme

@kelrauh - that just made me tear up. How genuine.

kelrauh

@byrneme - thanks I tried to be genuine to ensure I wasn't going to hurt anyone's feelings who is struggling with infertility. My best friend had been struggling with three miscarriages when I posted this and she was at the top of my mind when I posted this. 

All in all I was very happy I posted it because we have a lot of extended family that would have found out from a baby shower invite if I didn't post it.  

PurplePumpernickel

@kelrauh that is a really sweet post. 

Tulips29

@kelrauh ah, i love your announcement! So sweet! 

babylonghorn16

@kelrauh so sweet!! I love how open you were about everything while bringing to light that 1 out of 8 couples struggle w/ infertility. Very tastefully done. Kudos!

wifeinraleigh28

@kelrauh Your announcement makes me tear up too! I love how honest you were with everything!