How to deal

Y0ungG0pher

I had my first child (a girl) in September. One thing I don't understand is why do they attach so much to the mom for six months rite away??? All I feel like I'm good for is a person to change her diaper and play with her. Any suggestions how to deal with this??

SaphireSweetie88

I believe part of the reason is because the mom nurtured and cared for the baby for the 9 months it was inside her. I would suggest try spending more time with your daughter and try doing some feedings as well as playing with her, etc and see if things start to change. If you're running an errand and if it's possible, maybe bring her with for some daddy/ daughter time.

davekotschessa

Hey buddy! I know it's been awhile since you posted, but I hope things are going well.

It is said that babies have a "4th trimester" (ok, that's mathematically impossible, but you know).  The first bit of time they spend outside the womb is time they really wish they were still in there. So they attach to mom.

Since you are a dad that wants to be involved with your child, you're already ahead of like 70% of the dad population from what I can tell.  (Where's all the dads on this forum?)

My thing was to be involved as much as possible, but really, I realized my job was to take care of my wife and all the things she couldn't do while taking care of the baby.  It's a super important, super supportive role.  It's important to realize that it's not a separate job from parenting, but all inclusive.

Even now I try to comfort our boy, help him sleep, etc. but sometimes he just wants mommy and there's nothing I can do about that but hand him over and say "Ok, what do you need?" and bring her a drink or a snack or a book to read while she's holding the guy and can't do much else.

Anyway hope things are going well.

-Dave K

Ratpasta

Its tough for sure - the first six months are the hardest

If you can, take the baby out on your own.  Take some time to do some solo bonding and show her your decision making process and she is only used to the moms pattern of doing things.

Go have fun.  Do something new.  Be a fun dad!