How is everyone doing? — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

How is everyone doing?

Hi Ladies, just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing. Hope things are as okay as they can be. Hugs to all <3
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 Rainbow baby Savannah born 5.13.16 at 30 weeks    
 ♥ 
Baby Cadence born still 3.24.15 at 28 weeks 

        

Re: How is everyone doing?

  • This time of year is always hard.  Ellie's 4th birthday is Monday, and Wednesday will mark 4 years since we lost her.  As always, I feel like I haven't done enough to honor her memory this year.
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Hugs to you @Xath. i know what you mean about not feeling like you do enough to honor them. It never feels like enough. <3
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     Rainbow baby Savannah born 5.13.16 at 30 weeks    
     ♥ 
    Baby Cadence born still 3.24.15 at 28 weeks 

            
    Xath
  • I have just passed the one month mark, and it is almost like things are worse now than they were when I first lost Lorelei. Like, I am almost constantly just not happy, I have a default state of just "meh." I'm wondering if this is a) because its getting further away and I am supposed to resume normalish things, so its getting pretty obvious that things are not normal, or if I was just not happy before this happens and I am just really realizing it now because tragedy is making it more obvious. Either way, I took the pediatricians offer for a grief counselor referral, and am just adopting a "Fake it til you make it" attitude, making myself do little workouts, get out of bed and do all my normal things, go out with friends, and get prepared to go back to work. Sometimes, it works and I am able to feel bouts of happiness. Sometimes I cry in the car or while I am out walking. But hopefully the counselling will help, and set me on the path to not quite so fake happy moments. 
    MamaBish
  • SmashJam I can completely relate to the fake it till you make it attitude. January was a horrible month, I was hospitalized twice, once with postpartum eclampsia, and the second time with sepsis, due to a kidney infection. I had to spend Kelsey's one month anniversary in the hospital I birthed her in and it tore me up. I just started back to work yesterday and it has been such a transition. I feel like I put on a disguise or a costume to get through the day, to say I am ok but on the inside I am so heartbroken. I think one of the hardest things I have delt with is people that don't know what to say and say something that hurts. I know it is not intentional, but man it sucks. The second are the friends that don't understand. We finally ventured out to a friends Super Bowl party and I overhead an acquaintance say man she is really taking this hard, when will she get over it? I lost my s**t, went home and cried for hours. I am exhausted physically and emotionally and just when I can't take any more something else happens. 
    MamaBish
  • @Aademoas I'm sporry that person said that to you. that's not fair of them. You will not get over it. Hugs <3 
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     Rainbow baby Savannah born 5.13.16 at 30 weeks    
     ♥ 
    Baby Cadence born still 3.24.15 at 28 weeks 

            
  • @Aademoas I would've punched that person and then asked them when THEY'd get over THAT! So insensitive...
    i agree...losing a child is NOT something you get over. Ever. 


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    **TW**
    Losses:
     #1: 8wks MMC 4/16
    #2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
  • @Xath I think your feelings are normal. Hugs to you. It'll be 3 years in June since I lost my son.
    Xath
  • @SmashJam hugs to you. I remember 2 months being my hardest point - everyone is different for the times when it may be most challenging. Thinking of you. Hugs to you. 
  • @Aademoas some people really have no clue. Hugs to you. 
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