Discussion: egg donation

AmberLiz99

yesterday I was reading an article on egg donation and it got me thinking. I have multiple friends who had to use IVF and egg diners to have a baby. They are so very grateful for it, and I'm so glad they got to become parents.

I started to speculate, would I ever be willing to donate eggs? Why and why not? I thoight it could be an interesting discussion to see people's opinions. 

For me, I love the idea of giving people that opportunity, but the potential complications scare me. I'm not sure I could take the risk having a family of my own now. 
 
What about you? 

lm45678

Let me start by saying how much I respect women who will donate their eggs just to make other women's dreams of having a family come true. It truly is selfless if you do it for the right reasons.

I don't think I have it in me, unfortunately. I think I would constantly be wondering who this child who is "half me" was. I'm super sensitive and overly emotional though.

I do have a great friend who is gay, and I would be a surrogate for him if he asked providing it was a donor egg, though. 

rmmorris

As crazy as it sounds, I think, for me, it would feel like giving a baby up for adoption. 

AmberLiz99

rmmorris said:

As crazy as it sounds, I think, for me, it would feel like giving a baby up for adoption. 

I don't think that's crazy. It is a part of you

adiaz132003

laurenm2123 said:

Let me start by saying how much I respect women who will donate their eggs just to make other women's dreams of having a family come true. It truly is selfless if you do it for the right reasons.

I don't think I have it in me, unfortunately. I think I would constantly be wondering who this child who is "half me" was. I'm super sensitive and overly emotional though.

I do have a great friend who is gay, and I would be a surrogate for him if he asked providing it was a donor egg, though. 

 I think there are actually rules about being a surrogate.  You can donate the egg or the womb but not both. Lol. Personally I don't think I can donate cause I also feel like I'll never get over the whole "I have a kid out there" thing.

lm45678

adiaz132003 said:

laurenm2123 said:

Let me start by saying how much I respect women who will donate their eggs just to make other women's dreams of having a family come true. It truly is selfless if you do it for the right reasons.

I don't think I have it in me, unfortunately. I think I would constantly be wondering who this child who is "half me" was. I'm super sensitive and overly emotional though.

I do have a great friend who is gay, and I would be a surrogate for him if he asked providing it was a donor egg, though. 

 I think there are actually rules about being a surrogate.  You can donate the egg or the womb but not both. Lol. Personally I don't think I can donate cause I also feel like I'll never get over the whole "I have a kid out there" thing.

Good to know!

lm45678

rmmorris said:

As crazy as it sounds, I think, for me, it would feel like giving a baby up for adoption. 

Not crazy, that's how I would feel too.

laurendiaz02

I'm not sure. I feel for the women who want children and can't have them on their own. One of my best friends has struggled for 2 years to conceive and they are currently looking into invitro. I would consider being a surrogate if she asked me to. I just know she really wants to experience pregnancy. 

amangels2

I know that this is different, because it's not egg donation, but I got pregnant using donor sperm.  I'm 36 and single.  I didn't see that changing and I wanted to have a child and be a mom more than anything in the world and I didn't want to miss out on that just because I don't have a man in my life.  I will be forever grateful for the man that donated his sperm because I would not have my Sam without him.

My parents and I often look at Sam and think how odd it is for the donor because there is this beautiful, sweet, amazing child that shares 1/2 his DNA and he knows nothing about him.  Sam does have the legal ability to contact the donor when he turns 18, if he wants.

vintagevix2016

amangels2 said:

I know that this is different, because it's not egg donation, but I got pregnant using donor sperm.  I'm 36 and single.  I didn't see that changing and I wanted to have a child and be a mom more than anything in the world and I didn't want to miss out on that just because I don't have a man in my life.  I will be forever grateful for the man that donated his sperm because I would not have my Sam without him.

My parents and I often look at Sam and think how odd it is for the donor because there is this beautiful, sweet, amazing child that shares 1/2 his DNA and he knows nothing about him.  Sam does have the legal ability to contact the donor when he turns 18, if he wants.

One of my good friends plans to go that route in a few years and I think it's wonderful, she will be a great mom! Sam is so lucky to have you! He's such a cutie too! 

amangels2

Aw thanks! 

Tawny87

I think I would do it, it would be amazing to help someone have the baby of their dreams. I have my tubes tied, I think that would help me with the decision to do it, knowing that my hubby and I have decided our family is complete.

Tawny87

Also, because I was interested I looked it up...
https://www.coloeggdonor.com/Compensation.aspx

sambri315

I'm actually in this exact situation.  We did IVF to conceive our baby boy who was born in June.  Luckily we got pregnant on the first shot, but we have 6 embryos still frozen -which are my husband and I, so more than just my eggs.  

After one year you have to decide what you will do with those embryos - a) keep them frozen and pay a yearly storage fee b) donate them to science c) destroy them or d) donate them to another couple.   

We do not want any more children so we had to make a decision. Since we know we do not want more children, a. was not a choice - kind of silly to throw away money each year; b. definitely considered this option but in the end felt that I wanted to give them a chance at life (although I am grateful to those couples that chose this option for without them IVF would not exist) c. not an option for us personally.

My thought process - after going through IVF, I know the toll it takes, financially and mentally.  I know what it takes to make those little guys. And I also know it takes more than DNA to be a parent.

Anyone who is considering embryo adoption has been through the ringer. They have seen and felt more heartache than I can imagine. And they want nothing more than to have a child. The woman probably wants nothing more than to carry a child. The man probably wants nothing more than for his wife to be happy and to a part of that life growing inside of her.  The embryos are 100% our DNA, but we will not be the parents.  I will not grow, give birth, nuture, raise that child. 

And I know that if those embryos do survive, that no parent will love, or could love them, more than a couple who has been through IVF or has infertility issues. The baby will be blessed to be part of a family who will never take a day of his/her for granted. And i know it's true cause I have my own IVF miracle baby.

So, to me, the thought of giving a couple the ultimate gift of a life brings me more joy than I could have possibly imagined.  At the start of my journey, I always had it in my head I would donate them to science. End of story. But having been through it, I can't imagine another decision I could possibly make. Feels very right and peaceful to me.

Will I wonder about them? Sure. But my heart will not ache for them.  My heart will be smiling. 

With the facility we go through, we have the option of knowing if a live birth ever results, the gender, and month and year of birth.  Or we could decline to ever know. I don't know my decision on that part yet. 

adiaz132003

sambri315 said:

I'm actually in this exact situation.  We did IVF to conceive our baby boy who was born in June.  Luckily we got pregnant on the first shot, but we have 6 embryos still frozen -which are my husband and I, so more than just my eggs.  

After one year you have to decide what you will do with those embryos - a) keep them frozen and pay a yearly storage fee b) donate them to science c) destroy them or d) donate them to another couple.   

We do not want any more children so we had to make a decision. Since we know we do not want more children, a. was not a choice - kind of silly to throw away money each year; b. definitely considered this option but in the end felt that I wanted to give them a chance at life (although I am grateful to those couples that chose this option for without them IVF would not exist) c. not an option for us personally.

My thought process - after going through IVF, I know the toll it takes, financially and mentally.  I know what it takes to make those little guys. And I also know it takes more than DNA to be a parent.

Anyone who is considering embryo adoption has been through the ringer. They have seen and felt more heartache than I can imagine. And they want nothing more than to have a child. The woman probably wants nothing more than to carry a child. The man probably wants nothing more than for his wife to be happy and to a part of that life growing inside of her.  The embryos are 100% our DNA, but we will not be the parents.  I will not grow, give birth, nuture, raise that child. 

And I know that if those embryos do survive, that no parent will love, or could love them, more than a couple who has been through IVF or has infertility issues. The baby will be blessed to be part of a family who will never take a day of his/her for granted. And i know it's true cause I have my own IVF miracle baby.

So, to me, the thought of giving a couple the ultimate gift of a life brings me more joy than I could have possibly imagined.  At the start of my journey, I always had it in my head I would donate them to science. End of story. But having been through it, I can't imagine another decision I could possibly make. Feels very right and peaceful to me.

Will I wonder about them? Sure. But my heart will not ache for them.  My heart will be smiling. 

With the facility we go through, we have the option of knowing if a live birth ever results, the gender, and month and year of birth.  Or we could decline to ever know. I don't know my decision on that part yet. 

I applaud you and your dh.  It's a very selfless thing to do and the fact that you have been there means everything cause you want someone to feel the joy that you did after struggling with these issues.  A friend of mine took almost 4 years and finally has her rainbow baby thanks to IVF.