Follow up and thank you! — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Follow up and thank you!

Hi there!  I think my post about my mom's issues with drinking got deleted, but I just want to say I got to read all of your responses beforehand and they were very, very helpful.  I spoke to her and she swears she wasn't drinking while babysitting, but admits she has relapsed recently.  I don't know if I believe her about the babysitting issue, so, just to be safe, she will not be allowed to babysit or be around LO unsupervised, but in good news, she entered a rehab program a couple weeks ago.  I'm not overly optimistic, since she has been down this road before, but it's a year long program, so I am holding out some hope that she'll be able to stay permanently sober.  (Fingers crossed!)  

This has been very hard to deal with, especially since she is our only nearby family member and we had really relied on her for babysitting, but we interviewed two babysitters that we will have on call now, if need be.  

And as for the holidays, since she took the step to go into rehab, we are allowing her to come down for Christmas Eve and Christmas, assuming that she's still sober at that point, to have a supervised visit with Rose.  She's her only grandchild and we thought it would be nice to give her something to work toward with rehab.

Anyway, thanks again for all of the responses.  
Becky012016BarrettJ89nackieKFrobctmamaoftwol4rkkrrpe99jodiedrich18SDaniels19tfrangul

Re: Follow up and thank you!

  • Im glad everything is working out for you! Thats great that she has entered rehab again! And I'm sure her seeing Rose will help her along the way. It's a very tough thing to deal with and I'm glad you have a little piece of mind. Enjoy the holidays!! 
    maureenmce
  • That sounds awesome. Very glad that your mom entered rehab again and is getting the help she needs. Sending good vibes your way! Keep us posted. 
    maureenmce
  • I hadn't realized how much you depended on her for babysitting. As if knowing she relapsed weren't enough, finding new people to watch Rose must have been hard too. I'm so picky about who we leave David with; I'm sure you're the same way. I'm glad you've found some good options! I hope you get to enjoy Rose's first Christmas with your mom. 
  • @mamadcb  Yeah, it was hard to deal with the babysitting loss for sure, but luckily we found two awesome people - one who used to be a teacher at our daughter's daycare, and another girl we had actually hired and vetted before for driving help we needed for a couple of days, and she's fantastic (just very expensive!)  It's been tough financially, but at least we feel really secure with our options now!  :)
  • I didn't know anything about a post about your mom and an alcohol problem. However, I am way too familiar with alcohol and drug abuse. So I'll pray for you. A person with a substance abuse problem can only get better when they decide it's time to get better. I've seen people go several years sober. I've seen relapse. I've lost people I loved to over dose. I think it's the right thing for you to do to allow supervised visits and your mom be with her for Christmas. My mother was also an alcoholic and i believe she was very ill for a very long time. My entire childhood, truthfully. Hopefully her only grandchild will be the incentive she needs to stay sober
    ctmamaoftwomaureenmcetfrangul
  • I'm so glad you were able to find some middle ground with your mom so you can spend the holidays together! It might seem like a small thing but I think it's a h5u2e victory for you both. Well done! Is your brother still coming for Christmas too?
  • @l4rk My brother won't be making the trip this year because he's not currently sober or trying to get sober.  :/  I made the rule for supervised visits that you have to be sober and/or enrolled in rehab and working on it.  He has a long way to go, unfortunately, and doesn't seem super interested in getting there right now.

    @mrsgetz4000  Thanks for the prayers.  It's definitely a roller coaster and it's hard because my mom and brother are my only immediate family and they both are alcoholics.  Just trying to take things as they come and appreciate my own wonderful, healthy family.  Sorry you've had to deal with this as well - especially to the point of losing a loved one.  :(  I do worry about that, which was part of my decision to at least have supervised visits if they're sober, since I don't know how long they'll be around.
  • @l4rk My brother won't be making the trip this year because he's not currently sober or trying to get sober.  :/  I made the rule for supervised visits that you have to be sober and/or enrolled in rehab and working on it.  He has a long way to go, unfortunately, and doesn't seem super interested in getting there right now.

    @mrsgetz4000  Thanks for the prayers.  It's definitely a roller coaster and it's hard because my mom and brother are my only immediate family and they both are alcoholics.  Just trying to take things as they come and appreciate my own wonderful, healthy family.  Sorry you've had to deal with this as well - especially to the point of losing a loved one.  :(  I do worry about that, which was part of my decision to at least have supervised visits if they're sober, since I don't know how long they'll be around.
    I'm sorry to hear that, but I definitely agree with your rule. It makes sense. There isn't much you can do until people want to help themselves. I'm still happy your mom is making the effort and hope everything goes well with her visit.
    maureenmce
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