Opinion Needed

KaitDal

A month ago we opted for termination of pregnancy due to multiple developmental issues. We have a few tests back and waiting on more. At the time of termination, my husband and I did not want to know the sex of baby. I was told yesterday that since I'm a mychart user, my test results would be there but cautioned me that the sex would be listed on results. I'm would like to view results but unsure if I want to see the sex. And I know my husband does not want to know still. I'm toying with the idea of looking but not telling. I'm having such a hard time with the whole situation, I'm not sure if knowing would help or make it worse. I know it completely a personal choice, just curious what others have done. TIA

MamaBish

I don't have specific advice but I know that for me, I wanted to know as much information about the baby as possible. I feel like it helps me deal with it.
Hugs to you

1inthehopper

I'm very sorry for your loss. I terminated for medical reasons just yesterday due to Trisomy 18. We are normally team green but we opted to find out the sex from the panorama test once we knew there were problems. For me, knowing has helped me i think. It was important to us that we would name the baby so we wanted to know.  

One option is for you to call your OB's office, let them know you don't want to know sex at this time, and ask them to read your results to you. Since you know the sex results are there and you can assess them at any time, you have lots of time to decide whether you want to know. You might feel different a month, year, or years from now and that's ok. 

Sending you giant hugs. This whole process is awful and I'll be thinking about you. Hang in there. 

Texafornian

I just terminated for t21 and severe Hydrops Fetalis last week at 13.5wks after extensive testing and a LOT of soul searching. My husband and I didn't want to know the sex until after my D&C...suddenly afterward we just needed to know for closure. 

We found out we had a little girl...I broke down crying but I would've done that had it been a boy too. I will have to say...it's helped A LOT. We were able to name her and for us it gave us some peace. I had a loss this time last year at 8wks and it always saddens me that I'll never know the sex of my child. 

With that said...it's such a personal choice. I'm so sorry for your loss