PGAL Check-In Week of 12/5

NamelessAria

First time posting in the June '17 PGAL check in? Introduce yourself. 

How far along are you? 

How are you doing? 

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  

lmudra

12 + 3
my afternoon sickness is getting worse and I thought it should be getting better...oh well!!  The extreme tiredness is letting up!!  

My next appt is tomorrow.  It's my NT scan.  We got our NIPT back last week and baby is low risk for everything so I'm guessing the NT scan will confirm some of that.

I guess one 'rant' I would have is just that I wonder when I'm not going to nervous about this pregnancy.  Do women that get pg right away and have never had a loss live in constant fear?  I wonder...

I'm going the opposite...I used to love horror movies and now I can't watch them.

NamelessAria

lmudra said:

I guess one 'rant' I would have is just that I wonder when I'm not going to nervous about this pregnancy.  Do women that get pg right away and have never had a loss live in constant fear?  I wonder...

From what I've seen I'd say that women who get pregnant right away and have never been through loss don't worry like women who really struggled and/or went through loss previously do. I've seen so many posts I just cannot relate to at all where the woman makes it sound like her worst nightmare/biggest fear is something petty like not getting the sex she wanted (boy instead of girl or girl instead of boy), painting the nursery the wrong color, or having a family member disagree on baby's name. Things that aren't even on my radar. I just want a healthy take-home baby and nothing else really worries/concerns me.

I mean, I'm sure there are ladies who worry who didn't struggle and haven't been through loss. But, ya know, if we're making generalizations I'd say those ladies are usually more focused on other things.

As to when it'll be easier for us to relax and stop worrying: probably when we can feel baby move. I'd think being able to feel some movement every day or every couple of days or whatever would give some reassurance. Right now I have 4 weeks between appointments and I don't have my next ultrasound till the anatomy scan around 20w. And it has definitely been hard not to worry when I know I have to go so long without any reassurance. I asked my OB about it since she shared that she had a loss or two before finally having her baby over the summer. She said that she didn't really feel better, and same for most of her PGAL patients, till they can feel baby move. And I mean, that makes sense to me.

I know I feel better now at 13w3d than I did at day, 4w3d or 6w3d or whatever. But the anxiety is definitely still there.

halfthetree

@lmudra Having been one of those moms with our first child, I have to say that I definitely felt at ease the entire time. I bought clothes right away, I told the world at 6 weeks, and never doubted that it was a for sure thing. Now I'm an anxious mess still, 12w2d and I'm better than early on, but still not able to relax. 

How far along are you? 12w2d with twins

How are you doing? I'm doing a lot better. No nausea, only headaches and heartburn. 

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? Dec 19th is our next ultrasound, looking forward to seeing babies and hopefully they're growing at the same rate and my SCH is gone. 
Im second trimester next week, I go by 13w4d, so I'm excited for that milestone.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Rave for my doula, she's such a calm presence, and I just flipping love her. 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
Olives!!! I packed up my kids and hauled them to 3 places to find the perfect olives last week. No regrets at all!

lmudra

@NamelessAria and @halfthetree it's definitely interesting to think about that's for sure.  I'm guessing I'm driving my one friend crazy with all my worrying but she'll just have to deal!  I think I'll feel better after my appt tomorrow.  Has anyone thought about getting a Doppler for piece of mind?

halfthetree

@lmudra Im a birth doula, so I have one for work. I've absolutely used it once in a while when I'm having a panicky day. I wouldn't recommend using it everyday, and you also have to be able to not lose your shit if baby is being a turkey and hiding or wiggling too much to find it before that 12-14 week mark. 
Im having twins, so my anxiety is pretty high, and I've found it to be a great comfort when my PGAL brain gets carried away. 

mkrel

@lmudra I purchased a doppler and couldn't be happier with my decision to do so. I use it every few days and it gives me peace of mind. 

How far along are you?  12+6

How are you doing? I have to agree with all of you, that I don't ever think I'll be in a place where I stop worrying. I am envious of the other FTMs that don't have any concerns. Overall, I am doing  well though. I have traded in nausea and  constant fatigue for headaches, nosebleeds, and weird pelvic pains. It's better than feeling awful all of the time!

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? We are waiting for NIPT results, which I had drawn last Monday.  I am anxiously awaiting the call. My next appointment isn't until the 27th.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I love Christmas and can't wait for my family to arrive in a couple of weeks!

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)
Guacamole!!!! I didn't start loving it until I was around 18, and I can't believe I let my mom have all of those bowls of guacamole to herself when we'd go out to Mexican restaurants!

LOTON01

First time posting in the June '17 PGAL check in? Introduce yourself. 
Just started posting today. I am Lauren 33 living in Chicago. 

How far along are you? 
11 Weeks 2 Days with twins

How are you doing? 
Feeling good, sometimes sick to my stomach but not to bad.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Thursday. 

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
Excitied fo rthe holidays

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
Maple Syrup

NamelessAria

@LOTON01 Welcome If you haven't found it yet you may also be interested in the weekly infertility check-in. There are a couple of ladies on the board who are pregnant after doing fertility treatments like medicated cycles, IUIs or IVF.

FSUNole31

First time posting in the June '17 PGAL check in? Introduce yourself. 


How far along are you? 
14w5d

How are you doing?
Physically doing pretty well, still not completely at ease mentally yet which seems to be normal for those of us PGAL girls.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Thursday which means I am in higher anxiety mode since it is appointment week.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
This week and next week of work and then two glorious weeks off and away from students.  

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
Watching football.  I hated when dad would have it on and ow college football is one of my favorite things to watch.  

BellaO21

First time posting in the June '17 PGAL check in? Introduce yourself. 

How far along are you? 12+2

How are you doing? Pretty well... minus the sharp intermittent pains I'm getting.. google says it's RLP. So that's fun.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? Dec 15th

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: it's been 2 weeks since my NIPT drawl... still waiting on the results 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  guacamole! 

Yailani23

How far along are you? 
13w5d

How are you doing?
Pretty good, so so tired.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to?
December 28th is my next appointment. Wednesday I'll be on my 2nd tri. So unreal.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
I just want to start feeling baby already!   

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)
Naps and getting spanked just kidding 
I hated drinking water, now it's a essential part of my day! 

srnj3

How far along are you? 12 weeks, 2 days

How are you doing? I wasn't experiencing a lot morning sickness but I've had some pretty bad nausea this past week and at random times of the day.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 3 weeks to go

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: My NT scan was yesterday and I also received my NIPT results. Everything went well and looks good. I thought I was going to throw up all day because my appointment was in the afternoon. It felt amazing for a few hours but then I started to think the worst again. Like what is our next hurdle now that we've made it past 12 weeks? What else do I have to worry about? Is this really going to be my take home baby? I feel the same way as @lmudra. Will the nerves ever go away or is there always going to be something I fear until I actually have a baby in my arms?

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything) I pretty much hated all vegetables especially the green ones like broccoli, string beans and asparagus. Now I eat them weekly and love it! One thing I wish I did like (that I've never liked) is seafood but I still can't stand it. The texture freaks me out.

JAGinMI

How far along are you? 
11w6d

How are you doing? 
Good!  Had some rough days just generally feeling like crap over the past week but my belly is growing and I am starting to feel more confident.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Dr next week. Hearing that hb will be wonderful! I have only seen it on a screen so far.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
I got nothin'.

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
I am not sure I have anything! I still hate everything I hated back then, lol! I guess I wasn't open to a lot of foods when I was a kid so it wasn't that I hated foods, I just wouldn't try them. Things like sushi and lobster would have never touched my mouth when I was a kid but now, bring it on!

lizerspitz

How far along are you? 
12w2d
How are you doing? 
I am feeling a lot more confident since I had my sonogram last week. I've past my loss and just feeling like everything is on the right development path. I've had only normal symptoms which help ease my mind too. Other than that, I'm not sleeping very well. Last night was the second time I had to wake up at 2:30 and eat a snack. I thought having a sweet potato before bed would help cut down on that feeling of hunger, but it didn't. 
Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
I've got about a month left until my next appointment. I will cross the second trimester threshold before then, and that is pretty exciting to me.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
I have a job interview at the end of the week and I am both flattered (the beginning of the process was back in April and they have been so complementary) and I'm slightly terrified. 1) I'm not visibly pregnant so I will have to decide how to tell them - after an offer? 2) I don't know if once the baby comes we will want to move closer to family like we have talked about for about 2 years. What is a little ironic is that after my loss last year is when I decided to make this career change move anyway, and now that I have a supportive professional network of classmates, I don't want to leave! Its just it would be so much more affordable to raise a child elsewhere. 3) 5 months at a new job doesn't seem like enough time to learn enough to be valuable 4) I'm just overthinking everything, and the baby on the way makes the decision more difficult. 
GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything) 
I was such an awful eater as a kid. I would make such a fuss my mom would make two halves of a meatloaf, one with onions and one without so my sister and I would eat dinner. Now the smell of onions cooking is one of the things that make a house smell like home to me. I still dislike raw onions, but they can at least touch my other food.

merrylea

Lurker here.

But I'm going to take what you say @NamelessAria and take it a step further.  I haven't lost a pregnancy, but I did lose my first husband in a car accident.  While not the same, that profound and devastating loss helped shape the image that we are not immortal, and things can happen to the ones that we love in an instant.  I think that it makes me scared to shout the news from the rooftop, and anxious for the next appt to hear the baby's heartbeat.  I don't want to get my hopes up because it can be taken away so quickly.  On the flip side though, I think this is actually going to happen and in 6 months am bringing home a baby.

c1tym0m22

How far along are you? 11+5

How are you doing? Was doing well until I got a call from the genetic counselor this morning. Possible TW: While my NT measurement was average, my first screen bloodwork came back such that a whole host of concerns are now raised both about possible chromosomal issues (which the NIPT will give us answers on in the next week), but also may place me at overall high risk of all sorts of not great things for the entirety of my pregnancy. I have an appointment with my ob tomorrow and will find out what type of monitoring I'll need if we get over the hump of the NIPT results being clear.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 12/7

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: My nausea is a bit better - but now I'm an emotional wreck (and haven't seen DH/DD since Sunday night, so missing them tons right now - I'll head home late this afternoon).

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  Turns out that roasted brussels sprouts are pretty darn good!

ccc123456

First time posting in the June '17 PGAL check in? Introduce yourself. 
I've been hesitant to post introducing myself anywhere because it just feels like I'm jinxing things. Which I still can't shake as I'm typing this. I had my first loss in March of this year after trying for a year at that point. Obviously based on posting in here, it took me a little while after that to get pregnant again. I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by my anxiety this week, so was hoping by forcing myself out of my comfort zone, I might find a little support. 

How far along are you? 
13w+2

How are you doing? 
I'm okay I guess. Physical symptoms not as bad as they've been, so I think the emotional side is compensating.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Next appointment is next Friday, the 16th, and I have to talk myself out of calling to see if I can push it up. I'm just so impatient to hear the heartbeat again and make sure everything is okay. 

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
I've been sharing with everyone at work slowly as it comes up, and I'm just starting to feel really insecure in telling so many people. I've had two people congratulate me and then share their stories of loss, one at 12 weeks and one at 14 weeks. While I appreciate their intention, that just made me feel so anxious. Maybe not the most reassuring follow up to "congrats"? I keep telling myself the statistics are in my favor and surely everything is fine. It's exhausting to think that this worry will never end. I mean you make it past each milestone, only to see something to worry over next. I can't imagine any mothers ever stop worrying about their children at any age. I'm literally the biggest Debbie Downer I know these days, I don't even want to hang out with myself haha.

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
Brussel sprouts

lmudra

Any of you ladies on progesterone?  I'm 12 + 4 and I'm pretty sure my ob is going to tell me to stop taking it today.  I know medically I shouldn't need it anymore but I'm terrified if I stop something will happen.  

awoodruff27

How far along are you? 11w6d

How are you doing? Alright. Both kids are sick and I'm worried about catching it. Plus I've been having cramping and it freaks me out. 

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? I have my NT scan tomorrow. Excited to see lil squishy again. 

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm so tired of cleaning up vomit. Dh was off work Monday because he was sick, and he slept ALL day. He doesn't understand why I'm completely annoyed by that. I wish I could just take a day off, but that's not how sahm life works. 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
Spinach. It's the only thing I can think of. 

JAGinMI

I can say that as a FTM  and as a STM, I really was not stressed at all about a loss. I waited to tell the world until at least 12w with both, but just because I was supposed to "just in case" not because I actually had any concerns of a loss. Looking back, it was a glorious way to be!!

@ccc021090 I totally understand the insecurity that comes with telling people! It's sad because I always think about what it will be like if I have to untell them. 

@c1tym0m22 that is stressful news and I am sorry you are dealing with that. I hope it's nothing and you get better news soon!

@lizerspitz good luck on the interview! I say definitely wait to tell them until the offer. Also, you had an amazing mom. My mom would have made me eat it with onions or eat nothing at all, and it turns out that she passed that parenting trait to me. 

NarrowHouses

How far along are you? 
I'm 10w6d
How are you doing? 
I've been oscillating between hopeful and anxious. I'm starting to let myself plan and share and then immediately feel like that's unwise. I work at a university and have an extended break for the holidays and keep thinking "well if I have another loss at least I'll have 3ish weeks at home to cope". Which isn't a helpful recurring thought!
Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Next Friday I have an appointment and can't wait to hear baby's heart again.
Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
I'm feeling impatient to be further along. To the point where I can feel baby move or have a visible bump. Continual "proof" I guess.
GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
My dad listened to NPR when I was young and I didn't like it. Now I do. My sister can't believe how much I listen to it. Also, onions in any form. I hated them when I was young but will now eat them cooked, sauteed, caramelized, etc. still can't do raw, though! 

NarrowHouses

lmudra said:

Any of you ladies on progesterone?  I'm 12 + 4 and I'm pretty sure my ob is going to tell me to stop taking it today.  I know medically I shouldn't need it anymore but I'm terrified if I stop something will happen.  

I am on progesterone but still have a bit longer (I'm about 11 weeks). I can definitely imagine feeling that way when the time comes! 

Edit: Maybe your NT scan will help with that fear? 

NamelessAria

@lmudra I totally understand being scared to stop taking it. I took progesterone 200mg twice daily from 4 weeks till 12 weeks. Or well, OK confession: I was supposed to stop taking it at 12 weeks but I had a couple left so I went to once a day till I ran out around 13 weeks. In this one way I was so ready to be done! My vagina and cervix were irritated and honestly kinda hurt from doing the progesterone as a vaginal suppository so I switched to taking them orally around 10 weeks when my poor vagina just couldn't take it anymore. And then every time I took progesterone it made me super nauseated. Plus I'm pretty sure the bloating was a lot worse while I was on it and that wasn't fun. But on the other hand I felt like I'd only made it this far because of the progesterone (and baby aspirin) and I just wasn't ready to give up my safety net. I just kept telling myself that the placenta should have taken over by 12 weeks, and definitely by 13 weeks, so it should be totally OK.

For what it's worth: I'm 13w5d now and had a check up with my OB this morning. Everything seems to be going well and baby still has a nice strong heartbeat and all. So it would seem that stopping the progesterone didn't hurt anything.

NamelessAria

How far along are you? 13w5d

How are you doing? I'm pretty good! Super constipated but otherwise good.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? My next appointment isn't till around 17 weeks on January 4th (I think? I need to double check that sometime between now and then ) At this point I'm definitely starting to look forward to feeling movement. I know since I'm a first timer it'll probably still be awhile. But I'm hoping I'll feel a little something in the next couple of weeks. Also, I'm looking forward to getting past the awkward "....fat or pregnant?" stage. I'd rather either not be showing at all and look normal or have something people go "oh that's definitely a baby bump." I hate just looking fat.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I had an appointment with my OB this morning and everything seems to be going well. Baby has a nice strong heartbeat and was actually a littler easier for the nurse to find this time using Doppler. I'm still at my pre-pregnancy weight despite looking like I've gained about 15 pounds. At 13w5d with everything looking good I'm feeling confident I'll finally make it to the 2nd trimester after 6 losses in the 1st trimester. I'm so freaking excited. 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  Oh gosh so many things. I was probably one of the pickiest eaters ever when I was kid. I hated pretty much everything. Now I enjoy several veggies I hated before like broccoli. I'm good with far more things added for flavor like onion, garlic, cooking herbs like basil, thyme, oregano, rosemary, etc. And just so much more. I'm still not an "adventurous eater" by any means but compared to when I was a kid I definitely am.

FSUNole31

@NamelessAria so happy you are in the 2nd trimester!! Also you just gave me a little hope about picky eaters.  My son is ridiculous and some days I think he will never grow out of it so stories like yours are always great for me to see!

lmudra

@NamelessAria yay!!!  2nd tri!  I'm right behind you (13 weeks on Friday but baby is measuring 13+5).  I've never made it past 6 or so weeks so I can't believe I'm here!  4 previous losses (two this year alone).
Turns out I have an anterior placenta so we couldn't get a cute profile shot of little miss but bc of the NIPT dr isn't concerned about not being able to see.
I guess I'll take the progesterone until I run out bc she didn't mention stopping and I didn't bring it up either (hehe).  
Anyone have to go in at 16 weeks for MASFP testing?

HopefulNoob

How far along are you? 
13+5
How are you doing? 
Physically well, mentally not well. I finally have my 2nd appointment tomorrow. Need to hear that HB. I am so nervous. 

Also, my boss told everyone at my company I'm pregnant which sucks. She knows I've had a m/c before. Plus she herself had had a stilbirth and her daughter had two miscarriages in a row before. Seems she would know better. 

Havent told anyone in my personal life yet. 

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Tomorrow. Doppler HB check. It's weird I always hear AMA moms get all these extra ultrasounds. Just 2 for me - the dating one and the anatomy scan. 

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
NIPT results came back negative. I wish there was research on whether that lowers odds for miscarriage even more. I'd think it would??? 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
mayo
my brother 

halfthetree

@HopefulNoob That's super crappy of your boss to share your news with everyone, I'm so sorry:( 

Let us know how the appointment goes! Sending you lots of good appointment and strong heartbeat vibes!

noellehm

@lizerspitz good luck with the job interview!
@HopefulNoob can't believe your boss spilled your news! Such bad behavior!

How far along are you? 
14w today (yay 2nd tri!!)

How are you doing? 
Better than I have  felt all pregnancy. I just had my NT scan yesterday and it was so amazing to see detailed images of the squirmy little human. In the past my scans have given me about 72 hours of positive feelings before I have reverted back anxiety and pessimism. I know there are no guarantees, but I'm hoping that the good NT results and now officially being in the 2nd trimester will keep the successful US glow going for longer.

It's hard to explain but I feel different. For the first time I've tried taking a few pics of my (mostly nonexistent) bump, and I've started thinking about prenatal yoga and researching childbirth/ breast feeding classes in my area (as a side note, I know this could be a whole other thread, but do any STMs have any strong opinions on whether these classes are worth it?). While I've made an effort to be healthy in the first tri, and followed all the pregnancy rules for diet etc, I feel like it is first time I am really acknowledging I am pregnant and feeling attachment and excitement for the baby. And I LOVE it! Hoping this feeling lasts. 

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 
Appointment with my midwife right after christmas. Excited to start showing a little more!

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 
Food is making me so happy right now! 

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  
Baseball! As a kid I would be so bummed when the Simpsons were canceled/ pushed back for a baseball game on TV. Now baseball is my favorite sport to follow, and I love watching it in on TV, listening to it on the radio and going to games.  

HopefulNoob

Thank you ladies. Appointment went fantastic!

blacknightsky

First time posting in the June '17 PGAL check in? Introduce yourself. 

33 year old FTM. Previous loss at 9 weeks in May, discovered at my first ultrasound that baby had no heartbeat and then miscarried naturally 6 days later. I haven't posted yet here at all because I didn't want to jinx it, but I had an appointment today and heard baby's heartbeat so I'm here out of the shadows.

How far along are you? 

12 weeks today!

How are you doing? 

Much better, physically and emotionally. I've been back to sleeping around 9 hours at night instead of 12, and no more naps in my car at lunch.

Next appointment? Or, alternatively, next milestone you're looking forward to? 

Pretty sure they messed up my appointment today because I thought I was supposed to have my NT scan, but we ended up scheduling it for tomorrow 9 am.

Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: 

After hearing the heartbeat today it's really started to sink in that I'm actually pregnant and it's kind of terrifying! But in a good way.

GTKY: What is one thing you hated as a kid but now love? (food, activities...anything)  

Waking up early. I fought it for so long but I am definitely a morning person, and it feels so good to get an early start to the day.

halfthetree

There is a specific double stroller I want for the twins and our 3 year old. We don't have a retailer in our city, but there is one in a city we are visiting after Christmas. It takes 3 months for them to get an order from the manufacturer, and they only had one left in the colour I wanted... so I put it on hold until I can test drive and pick it up. 

As soon as I did I panicked. I just made a major purchase and I'm not in second trimester. All of the damn bad thoughts are freaking me out. Ugh.