How did you survive the wait from betas to first u/s? **Loss Mentioned**

byrneme

Good morning! I'm new to this board and being very cautious as I'm just 6 weeks today. How did you ladies survive the time between your betas and your first ultrasound - I'm finding this to be even worse than the TWW! My beta numbers were, according to my RE, great: 486 11dp5dt; 1649 13dp5dt and 4022 15dp5dt. I told myself if that 3rd beta came back with great numbers I'd stop freaking out. However, two days ago my gf who had her transfer 10 days ahead of me went in for her u/s and found out the baby didn't make it. Now I know all pregnancies are different but it's still thrown me into a tailspin. We both did PGS testing so we know they embryo was normal and we both have had no symptoms other than sore boobs, which I mainly attribute to the PIO, so you can see how my mind wanders. Any tips other than stay busy and off google?

Tulips29

First, congratulations on great beta numbers! I know it's super super hard not to worry. I was constantly freaking out myself and I don't think I relaxed until mid-way through the pregnancy. The worrying never goes away really. The best advice I can give you is stay off google, don't google random symptoms (I was guilty of this for sure) and fill your head with worry when everything is going well. I felt like every time I went on google there was another random story of some horrible pregnancy story, loss or miscarriage, etc. It definitely didn't help my anxiety. Keep busy and think positive. You're pregnant! Good luck at your ultrasound and hopefully all continues to go well for you! 

vssbrm

Don't read google, and understand that everyone's IVF journey is different (no matter how similar they may seem). For me the time went rather quickly, but after trying for so long, a few weeeks strangly seemed easy. I think we did our first us sooner than a lot though. Keep yourself busy and plan lots of projects!

AandDM2014

Yeah, I remember that being a tough week. Luckily I had my first ultrasound at 5+6, so I wasn't kept waiting too long. I suggest getting into a book series or tv show that you can binge. Those are the only things that helped me. I had a previous MMC, so the waiting was terrible because all I could think about was having another one. I hope the time doesn't drag on too long!

cmm012

Hello! I had a bunch of pregnancy tests left over, so if I was feeling nervous I would take one.  It made be feel better to see a nice a dark second line.

byrneme

Thanks, ladies! It's crazy how much waiting this is. And @vssbrm you are so right that, after all the waiting we've done thus far, this short wait should seem easy peasy. I had thought it would be!

@cmm012  that was TOTALLY going to be my plan until I thought about the fact that it will still show positive until the HCG was out of my system - most likely after the u/s

kelrauh

@byrneme - It's good to see you on this side of the forum, I think you were on August/September IVF with me. That wait for the ultrasound was by far the hardest wait I had in this process. It is worth the wait though, if you get an early ultrasound it probably won't help alleviate the anxiety because you wont see a heartbeat. I am 14 weeks and 3 days today and I get anxious between my appointments still. I think it is the maternal instinct in us and everything we have invested emotionally, physically and financially into just getting pregnant. Once I hit the 2 week mark between appointments I get anxious. It will all be worth it and you are pregnant.... just keep telling yourself that. Congrats!!!!

tvh1982

I'd like to tell you that the worrying will ebb away, unfortunately it won't. Not even when you get checked every other day like I did in the end.
I had acupuncture between my positive test (i only had 1 beta) and the ultrasound.
As I had bleeding early on I did get an ultrasound between week 5 & 6, but still went to my acupuncturist as she just knew how to get me to relax. 
I also had lots of fun planned.

byrneme

@kelrauh  - congratulations!! Twins! That's awesome  Yes, I had my retrieval the same day as you but we did PGS testing so I did an FET nearly two months later, speaking of waiting!! I 100% agree on the early u/s - I will be at 7 weeks when I have mine so I should, FX, be good in the heartbeat aspect. I just didn't anticipate the anxiety with this wait! I did try to pull a 4th beta test to 'calm the crazy' as I say but my RE said to not worry, my numbers were great and without a medical reason my insurance wouldn't likely cover it. So I was talked off the ledge and am trying to just stay busy and not over analyzi everything. Which is SO much easier said than done!!!

cato99

I have nothing to add except sympathy! I only had two betas and then the ultrasound at 7 weeks and I SWEAR that time felt like it stretched out over 92837458726345 months. Time went like molasses until I was about 11 weeks, after that it has sped up a little. Hang in there! 

wifeinraleigh28

I posted a very similar thread when I had this wait!! Oh man I feel you. And I only had 2 early betas (10dpt and 12dpt), my RE wouldn't do a 3rd, so I felt like I had very minimal reassurance. What helped me was reminding myself of a few facts: that once a PGS tested embryo implants, your chances of live birth are so significantly higher than non PGS tested embryos and even natural pregnancies. Chromosomal abnormalities account for 60% of losses. Another reason for loss is low progesterone, which your RE is checking anyway, so that rules that one out. That rules out the 2 most common causes of miscarriage. I know it's so hard but try not to compare yourself to your friend. She is definitely an exception to the rule!

Im a huge worrier and I have to constantly remind myself to stop. Worrying makes us suffer when there is nothing solid to suffer over. If something bad happens, let the bad feelings in then. Not before! Let's enjoy life when nothing bad has happened! You are pregnant!!! Congrats!!

byrneme

Thanks @wifeinraleigh28 - it sure is good to see your 'face' on this board, I think we were on some IUI boards together last year The words are extremely encouraging/comforting as well. I'm feeling in a better place after taking everyone above's advice. One day at a time and BE HAPPY!

wifeinraleigh28

@byrneme Yes! I believe we were in May IUI together and Aug/Sep IVF! I'm so glad we have both graduated now!

ddvj79

@byrneme - congratulations!!!

I had them draw additional betas for peace of mind. I had like 5 draws total spaced out by a few days. In between I did use pregnancy tests on days I was super anxious (I have diagnosed anxiety issues which made it even more fun). It is super hard and I have no advice on how to deal with it.

It unfortunately didn't get any better even after the first, second or fifth US for me!  I'm still constantly worried. On the lighter side of things, when I was telling my mom (who has a way worse IF history than me) how anxious I am all the time about the baby and when it would get better, she was super helpful (not) & told me she's still waiting for it to get better (I'm 37).

Hang in there!!!

Cowboycorgi

ddvj79 said:

@byrneme - congratulations!!!

I had them draw additional betas for peace of mind. I had like 5 draws total spaced out by a few days. In between I did use pregnancy tests on days I was super anxious (I have diagnosed anxiety issues which made it even more fun). It is super hard and I have no advice on how to deal with it.

It unfortunately didn't get any better even after the first, second or fifth US for me!  I'm still constantly worried. On the lighter side of things, when I was telling my mom (who has a way worse IF history than me) how anxious I am all the time about the baby and when it would get better, she was super helpful (not) & told me she's still waiting for it to get better (I'm 37).

Hang in there!!!

I agree with your mom! My daughter is 8.5months old now, and I still worry. Safe sleeping, choking as they learn to eat, illness... it's one big ball of anxiety. 
On that note, it's best to learn to push past your fears, and live in the moment or you won't be living at all. ❤️