STMs: When are you going to tell your other kid/s?

satsumasandlemons

We haven't told DD yet only because A) it still doesn't feel real to me and 2) what if something happens? 

We were thinking of maybe telling her if we confirm heart beat at our first u/s at 8 weeks, since that's when we were thinking of letting family members know. Another option would be to wait until after we find out the sex of the baby around 12 weeks or so - she specifically asked for a little sister or a kitty cat, and in that order, so it would be fun or helpful for us to be able to surprise or prep her. 

Anyone else? 

lamphele

We'll  probably tell them after the first ultrasound.

ladipale

Its such a hard thing to figure out. I have 2 other kids. When I was pregnant with my second my oldest was only 2 so we told her pretty early and it was fine. When I was pregnant last year (ended in miscarriage) we told our girls (then 5 and 2) at 12 weeks and a week later my mmc was discovered. It was really really hard on the 5 year old. So this time we are waiting - although my girls know something is up. I think it depends on your older child and how you think she will react if that makes sense. The other thing is that once we told 5 year old - the secret was OUT. She told her teachers, friends, people she met on the street...

michelle04us

We told our older two kids last week. My DS(10) because I drive him to and from school every day. If by chance i throw up or get dizzy want him to know why in case something happens. We told my SD(13) 2 days later because she walked in on me making the mug I painted to announce to my mom and stepdad. 

Our younger 2 we are waiting to tell until I'm  showing more (they are only 3 & 4).

morgarita

My sons only two so even tho we've been talking about it with him I'm sure he doesn't get it. But I'm having trouble now because we're talking about baby Jesus and how he was born on Christmas. 

satsumasandlemons

@ladipale , our daughter is 5, that's my fear exactly. I don't know if we'd try again if anything happened, so I'm almost hesitant to tell her until. i don't know, the baby's here??? 

chiquita928

DS is 3, and we plan to wait until Christmas or I'm showing, whichever comes first.

Creedon778

We will tell our two boys after 12 weeks when we are ready to tell the rest of the family. Otherwise we are at risk for them sharing with others before we do. They are 3 and 5.

Funny story - a couple months ago my oldest son asked if when he's older his food will turn into a baby. I was so confused and then realized he was asking if he can get pregnant (essentially thinking the food in our belly just morphs into a baby). I told him only girls can have babies in their belly and he was so disappointed. 

JAM85

We told DD (2.5) almost immediately just to start getting her used to the idea. She has a 10 month old cousin she saw the day she was born and has seen every month since so we use that an an example of what is happening. So far her main concern is whether it's getter bigger and doesn't yet understand she can't kick me or climb on my tummy. Or she does and thinks it's funny. I'm hoping as I get even bigger (I am already showing at 9 weeks here) and she can feel kicks she will get more excited. We also plan to get her a baby doll and stroller etc to have her own baby

awillis13

We told DH's entire family in front of our kids, and they didn't get it.  We told my son a few days later, when we told my parents, and had to explain what it meant (he's almost 5).  My SS had gone back to his mother's at that point, so we will have the same conversation with him the next time we have him.  He will understand pretty quickly though, because his mom is pregnant too.

ashaw512

I told them already. They're so happy.

melandjudd

I already told DD (5) she has been begging for a sibling since her bff got a little sister a few months ago.  She is excited but doesn't understand why it will take until July to have a sibling. She wants a brother now lol

cssme13

We told DS already (he's 3) he insisted that it was a brother and then kept trying to lift up my shirt to look at my belly. DD is 1.5 so obviously she won't know until the baby is actually here.

plumpous

I told DD immediately but I got no reaction. She's 1. Ha ha ha. But seriously, due to her very young age I plan to buy a storybook to explain it once I hit third trimester and it will show and she'll mature. 

Cynth0104

We told DS already (he's 4.5). He has a big mouth and tells everybody he sees because he is so excited. DH wanted him to be the first to know since he has been asking for a sibling for 2 years now 

ninambutler

My daughter is almost 4. I was going to wait until Christmastime when we had heard the heartbeat and were close to second tri. Somehow that little bugger figured it out already and just nonchalantly brought it up. Wtf?!?! I had a whole cute announcement planned. Oh well. She's excited.

ladybray

My son is only 1yr 7mths but i am trying to teach him to pat my stomach when I say "where's the baby?"... I am super bored and morning sickness is killing me lol so i am trying to enjoy the little things.

satsumasandlemons

oh gosh, I guess I'm in the minority here on this! 

flipflopped

DH just asked this about DD who is 2.5yo. until we are ready for everyone to know mums the word. I actually said once she notices my belly....so we'll see how it goes

supermom83

I'm waiting till second tri to tell them. Both my boys (8 and 5 yo) have been asking for a baby sibling, and I know my oldest especially will be so beyond excited! He was trying to convince me that he would change diapers and feed the baby and teach him/her to talk and walk. It's adorable. 

Since I had a loss at 16 weeks, I'm so nervous to tell anybody, especially the kids. So I'm not sure when I will. Probably after the NT scan at around 12ish weeks. I'm nervous but also so so excited to tell them! They're old enough to really understand this time around, so it should be really fun! 

Mrs.EmmaLouise

My daughter is 5, and I don't plan on telling her any time soon. Otherwise it will feel like the longest car ride ever of "is the baby here yet?", and I don't plan on punishing myself with that. I also am in no rush to tell family, so when I decide I'm ready to tell family I will tell her- maybe 12 weeks? Maybe 16? 38 weeks? Not sure. 

mslynn2012

DS is 3.5, DD just turned 2. We will tell them in the new year, as I'm sure they will tell the world!

KelAnn310

Even though I already had an ultrasound last week because of some spotting and everything looked good, we are going to wait to tell my 6.5 year old until after my first appt next Wednesday. My other child is only 13 months old so he wouldn't understand anyway. 

KM2J

We are telling our 4 year old on Christmas.  He wants a sibling so bad and I am so excited to tell him!  

GeorgiaWife6912

I am waiting until I am ready for the entire world to tell DS (2.5).  He definitely knows what it means to have a little brother/sister as most of our friends circle have at least 2 kids.  He has a big mouth and once he knows, he will tell everyone he comes in contact with haha.  So... it will likely be the middle of January-ish.  Unless we cave at Christmas time which is after my first appointment, but I will still only be 9 weeks.

WorkinWeezel

Santa told my kids.  They are thrilled!  My 6.5 year old son wants a baby brother, and my 3.5 year old daughter wants a sister.  She is the only girl on both sides.  They know to keep it a secret and will ask me when we are in certain situations if they can "talk about the baby" or "talk about our secret".  If I so no, they honor that.  If I say yes, they LOVE talking about it (to my parents, in-laws, etc...).  

lilyaster

Due to several previous losses, we wanted to wait 12 weeks to tell the kids.  But my daughters figured it out when I was feeling sick.  They're 8 and 9.  My son, who is 4, has made comments about my bloated belly but we are not going to mention a baby until 2nd trimester.  He still talks about the ones we lost

hqinmd

I told DD2 the day I found out because she's 1 and can't talk and doesn't understand, lol. She was the first person I told. 

DD1 is 3 and understands about babies in the belly and being born and maybe even remembers meeting DD2 in the hospital. We aren't telling her yet, probably won't until we tell everyone else because telling her means the secret is out. 

I wouldn't wait too long after you start telling others because people around you are going to talk about the baby and you'll be showing and little ones will pick up on it. 

MaMinette13

As my DD is only 11 months, she was there when I told DH.  We tell her she is going to be a sister, but obviously, she has no idea what we are talking about! Haha...

chiquita928

Mrs.EmmaLouise said:

My daughter is 5, and I don't plan on telling her any time soon. Otherwise it will feel like the longest car ride ever of "is the baby here yet?", and I don't plan on punishing myself with that.

I can't stop laughing at this. truer words have never been spoken.

SPurp13

***TW***

We started just asking our kid if she wanted a baby when I got pregnant last time. She was pretty uninterested, but she really started playing with her baby dolls lately, and the babysitter has a baby. I want to tell her and get her excited, but I'm scared then, that if something happens to this baby as well, she will keep bringing it up. Thankfully she didn't last time, but I honestly don't know if I can keep it together if it happens again, let alone if it happens again AND she keeps asking where the baby is. 

I know most of you can't imagine yourself in that situation, but especially to those of you with young kids who won't be able to grasp where babies come from or why one suddenly doesn't show up...just have a good think about it first. I've told actual adults (a small handful) this time, because if something happens, they will get it. But a 2-year-old won't, and I'll have to live with her asking over and over where the baby is. 

mars8k

My 1.7 daughter was asleep when i found out and i whispered it in her ear lmao i keep telling her i have a baby in my belly but everytime i say baby she picks up her doll 

mango15

I'm seriously considering letting their elf on a shelf tell them with a letter (dd 7 would read it to dd4)

LoveLee85

If my DS was older, I would wait until my belly was huge. As long as I could get away with it I would wait. No previous losses, just want to protect them if anything happened. My DS is 14 months old. We told him. Lol. He has zero idea. He will say 'BAY-BEE' if prompted by us. It's adorable. 

GoogleMD

We told my 12 month old...he didn't seem to care haha. he will be in for a surprise come july

Xath

We'll likely tell my oldest (5) when we go to our NT screening on the 21st.  I'm not sure if he'll be excited or even surprised; I think in his mind I'm pretty much constantly pregnant so...

**loss mentioned**

He was 17 months old when our daughter passed away. He didn't grasp it at the time, but we have always talked about her as part of our family so I think he has a much different (and very matter-o-fact) approach to death than his peers. 

For those dealing with explaining previous losses, we found the book "We were going to have a baby but had an angel instead" really helped our son understand what was happening.  For those welcoming your rainbows, we got the book "Someone came before you" for DS2 to start the conversation about his sister.  

jeslklein

@mango15 I love that idea. I am regretting not waiting to tell my kids as a Christmas surprise, but I got so excited that I told them right away. I had to deliver it with the bad news that our trip to Disney World would be postponed, so I was a bit worried. My 8 year old was so excited that she had tears in her eyes. My 14 month old had no idea (obviously). My 4 year old's reaction was to tell me a story about a movie she'd just seen (couldn't care less, basically).

alcrimmins

My dd was the first person I told (she's almost 18 months and had no idea).  This was her face when I asked if she wanted to be a big sister. Pure coincidence but too funny!

mama2stepmama

We told our girls a few days after we found out. I didn't see a reason to hide it from them. And if something went wrong, I wanted them to be able to understand what was happening. I couldn't imagine being devastated about a loss and not have the sweet hugs and kisses from my daughters to help me cope.

virginiaunicorn11

alcrimmins said:

My dd was the first person I told (she's almost 18 months and had no idea).  This was her face when I asked if she wanted to be a big sister. Pure coincidence but too funny!

Omg NAILED IT!!! So good! 

Creedon778

My 5 year old came into our bedroom on Saturday saying "mommy where is the baby? You said there was going to be a baby in the house". I was all frantic that somehow he knew and so I started denying it (bc he will immediately tell Grammy and his aunt) but he insisted I had told him a baby was coming. I continued to deny until my husband  reminded me he was talking about our friends that were coming over later that day that had a baby. Oh pregnancy brain! I thought my 5 yo was outing me!