Randoms - Week of November 21

dragonfaerie

Have any thoughts, questions, feelings, fears, etc.? Spill them here!

This is a good place to ask questions to a broader audience than the weekly check-ins, so ladies in other trimesters with experience may chime in and help you out!

dragonfaerie

I just wanted to share something I am doing for Wee Boy. I got a little journal and I write letters to him every couple of weeks. Basically just saying hi, this is what's new from our last appointment, and anything exciting (like grandma feeling him with the hiccups, or whatever.) DH may write in there as well, and at my baby shower I'm going to have people write notes to him and then I will staple them inside the journal. I don't know when I'll give it to him; my initial thought is a graduation present, but it's just another fun way to keep track of my pregnancy.

AandDM2014

Heartburn remedies? I thought it was just tomatoes, but it seems it's just food. 

Tulips29

@dragonfaerie that's so sweet! I love that idea

@AandDM2014 ugh, I wish I knew of one also. I went through a big container of Tums since my heartburn started, but it's temporary relief. For me it also started with tomato sauces, so I avoided anything tomato-based for a while. My heartburn temporarily went away at the beginning of 3rd tri, but now came back last week again, and it seems to come on after any meal. If you find a great remedy that works, I'd love to know as well! 

dragonfaerie

Yogurt or milk can help. Also, I've found that the peppermint tums sometimes work faster than the fruity ones. 

babylonghorn16

@dragonfaerie i love that idea! So special!

@AandDM2014 my friend told me that zantac was her best friend during pregnancy. She gave birth to very healthy, BEAUTIFUL baby girl! I don't like the idea of taking medicine in general, but I think zantac is safe... and might be worth it if your heartburn gets too bad! 

cato99

Is anyone else irrationally attached to the weekday you change weeks/get a new fruit-comparison on The Bump? My regular OB changed my due date on the paperwork because they calculate things differently than the RE (by ONE day, so functionally totally the same, except that I would change weeks on a different weekday) and, y'all, I am embarrassed to say that I actually brought it up and asked them to change it all over to the ONE DAY DIFFERENT original date because...fruit? App? Weird personal ritual? What? 

(BTW don't try this at home. The OB was like "um you do realize it's totally the same and this baby will come when it feels like, right?" I just wanted to get this off my chest as a "this is one of those obsessive little IF effects on your brain.")

BornReady

@AandDM2014 Heartburn is a struggle. Mine was actually worse with water when pregnant with DS...Water! I basically chowed on Tums, and I still find them in jackets I haven't worn in a long time. Currently, mine is worse at night when I start settling down for bed and not being upright, so I'm trying to prop myself up more. Also, like PP mentioned plain greek yogurt and more than anything just trying to power through.

AandDM2014

@dragonfaerie I tried Ice cream yesterday and pudding this morning... Maybe next time I'll try just straight milk (with sugar and chocolate of course!). I only have the fruity tums, I'll see about getting the peppermint ones.

@babylonghorn16 I had heard that Zantac was okay, but I don't see my doc until next Monday and would definitely want to ask him first.

@cato99 I didn't have my doc change my date, but I'm also part of the "this baby can arrive any time it feels like" club big time, so I don't stress about it too much. My OB used my transfer date to calculate an EDD, and it was the same one my RE had. I personally have been calculating wrong, thinking that March 10th was going to be just before 34 weeks, but apparently it's going to be just before 35 because I can't count. Now I know I definitely won't make it past then!

@BornReady a few nights ago I actually made myself a pillow ramp in bed and have not taken it down! I felt like it helped, until last night when I woke up with the most horrible pain, more than once! I'm gonna go have to buy more tums I guess.

wifeinraleigh28

@dragonfaerie I LOVE that and might need to steal your idea! How sweet!

@cato99 GIRL. I feel like I could have written your post. My OB also had my due date off by a day from my RE and it totally threw me for a loop! I know it's just an estimate, but it's how we calculate how far along we are to the day! I eventually made the switch since I'll be with my OB for the rest of this pregnancy (and because baby has now measured exactly according to my OB's date at 2 separate ultrasounds) but still. It was hard.

janejane-2

I'll be 15 weeks and a few days at Christmas. My hubby wants to announce at his families gathering that I'm pregnant with twins. I prefer to tell them that I'm just pregnant (keep the twin part out). In my experience, telling people one is pregnant with twins immediately brings up "did u do IVF?" - I've seen it happen twice to people I know. For some reason if one is of a certain age, a lesbian or is pregnant with multiples people's minds just go to IVF and think its okay to just ask.

I'm not fond of some of my husband's nosey female relatives who will be present. I don't want the Qs b/c I don't think its their business. I don't see them often so after Christmas I may not see them until Thanksgiving 2017 (doubt they'd go to the baby shower based on where they live). Husband doesn't seem to understand. He assumes I'll be asked about IVF even if we just say I'm pregnant with a singleton. I disagree as I've never seen that happen (again unless a woman is of a certain age, a lesbian, or has told people they are actively trying). I'm under 35 and have never expressed wanting kids to these particular relatives. 

There's NO shame in IVF and I'm planning to tell my friends and family (his mom & dad already know) but I don't want to share with his relatives b/c they are so nosey and well only interested to be nosey not b/c they actually care. Am I wrong? I don't want to be eating my Christmas meal talking about infertility with these nosey relatively. Also, I'll only just be into my 2nd trimester so I'm still cautious about having twins. Thoughts? 

AandDM2014

@JaneJane Hmm, you are in a curious situation. I can only tell you what my experience has been: I feel no shame at all that we needed to do IVF. I have a medical disease that makes it impossible for me to conceive any other way therefore it it outside my control. When we first started with our RE I decided to be very open with everyone and anyone about it. I knew nothing about it before we started doing treatments, and I know that most of the people I know know nothing about infertility. If people were/are nosey, that is fine by me, because they may legitimately be curious. I don't mind sharing every aspect of our trek to get these hopefully take home babies. I don't personally think I know anyone who is nosey to be nosey, and even if they were, I'd be happy to educate them about the process. As for keeping twins under wraps, that is something I totally identify with. We kept the triplets mostly a secret (like 4 people knew other than us and our doctors/nurses, and two of them were DHs work colleague and boss who kinda needed a bigger heads up) until I was 17 weeks. I was/am nervous about losing one or more of them, which was why we waited so long to do a public announcement. There really is no safe time until they are alive in your arms if that's what you're most worried about.

wifeinraleigh28

@JaneJane Unfortunately you are right. When people hear twins, a lot of times they automatically think IVF. I personally am not at all opposed to sharing with people that we did IVF but DH has made it very clear from the beginning that he does not want people knowing (aside from a very select few individuals that we've agreed to tell) and I have to respect that (he's always been a very private person anyway). If I was in your position and got questions from nosey relatives, I would flat out lie. It is none of their business and it is rude to ask those questions anyway. A simple, "nope" to the IVF question is what would come out of my mouth to just shut it down as quickly as possible. But you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with!

dragonfaerie

@cato99 I have felt the same way! My RE gave me the 27th, and then somehow my OB got the 28th. It was kind of annoying me. But my last apt their computer system was having issues and not loading our info, so she just asked me my EDD and I told her the 27th, so now it's fixed. Haha! I know that ultimately it really is an "estimate", and it seems like Wee Boy is in a rush to join us anyway, but I totally understand wanting everyone to be on the same page.
@wifeinraleigh28 Please steal away! That's why I posted it, cuz I wish I'd heard of the idea sooner so I could have been writing letters for longer.

@JaneJane I think that you ultimately have to sit with DH and discuss what feels right for you, and do not feel bad about whatever your decision is. Some people are very open about their IVF journey, others don't want to share at all, and there's nothing wrong with either. If you do have someone ask if you did IVF and that's why you have twins, you could just say "you know, it's possible to conceive twins naturally" and leave it at that. It's answering the question without answering the question. And hopefully they will take the hint that being nosey is unwelcome. A lot of times just calling people out for the question is enough. Responses like "why does that matter?" can sound rude, but it can make people realize that what they asked is pushing boundaries. I hope that your visit with family can go well and be peaceful, no matter what decision you make.

kelrauh

@JaneJane - like @AandDM2014 we were very open about our IVF journey, and our families were actually hoping for multiples as I am a twin myself. So, when we found out we were having two everyone was ecstatic. I have not had a single person ask me if we did IVF who did not know. I think people just get so excited when they hear you are having twins that they don't think past that you will be having two adorable little babies soon. If you dont feel comfortable then dont tell them, many women do not find out if they are having more than one until the second trimester anyway. 

kelrauh

Does anyone else struggle with having no appetite? Nothing really sounds good to me, I am rarely hungry, and when I do eat I hardly eat anything. My nausea has pretty much subsided, and now I just don't want to eat. My doctor just told me to eat small high fat meals or snacks. I never thought a doctor will tell me to eat everything whole fat and eat ice cream. Does anyone have suggestions to increase your appetite? 

BornReady

@kelrauh I have had very little appetite, and I am almost 18 weeks. I have struggled with major nausea up until last week or so, and during that time ate very little. I mostly subsided off of cereal, bagels and clementines. I have not gained any weight and was only down a 1/2 pound at my last visit from my intake, so I guess my body is holding on to whatever it has! I'm getting a little more of an appetite and my doctor had a similar suggestions as yours. I've been trying to eat some whole fat greek yogurt with seeds or nuts mixed in. I also find that eating at weird times has been helpful. Like I'm not usually hungry for dinner, but will try and eat a bowl of cereal before bed to get something in my stomach. 

kelrauh

@BornReady - I have also been trying to eat whole fat yogurt. I agree on the timing thing I am never hungry at lunch and by the time I am hungry it's 3pm and it's not easy to get food while working in the middle of the afternoon. Then by dinner I'm just flat out hangry, then I go to eat and I feel full or start gagging after 3 bites. It's so frustrating. 

AandDM2014

@kelrauh Yup, that sounds about right for some. I force myself to eat anyway even though I don't feel hungry. I choose calorie dense foods like peanut butter and yes ice cream! I also only buy whole milk and use it on my favorite cereal.

wifeinraleigh28

Just wondering if anyone has heard from @ADRIANAC1982? Thinking of you and getting concerned that we haven't heard anything

Griffin5413

@wifeinraleigh28 - I think there has been an issue with posts being deleted b/c I'm pretty sure I saw a post from @adrianac1982 on the 23rd that said they had their first ultrasound and the tech was not very nice or supportive but the dr said baby was still doing well. Hopefully we will hear something soon though!

wifeinraleigh28

@Griffin5413 Ah yes, everything from the 23rd vanished. I hope you're right and all is well!

2legbaby

Any ladies have ICSI as a part of their ivf who are not having a perinatal echocardiogram? I have seen several posts about echos being done due to the higher risks of defects with ivf and particularly ICSI. my doctor has not mentioned this at all, I will bring up at our next appointment but it is next month, just curious what others have experienced ! 

@Griffin5413 I read that post as well from @ADRIANAC1982 , but am hoping all is still well with their little fighter ! 

mskeenan

@2legbaby I did IVF with ICSI and decided not to do the echocardiogram . My doc mentioned it but didn't seem to think it was too important and didn't insist we do it . She explained to me that even though there is an increased chance of heart defects with IVF the overall chance of having a child with a defect is still very minimal . I didn't want to go through even more testing now . 

dragonfaerie

@2legbaby We also opted to not do any extra testing. since we did PGS, we felt like (and our doc basically agreed) we didn't need anything else. they never discussed the increased risk of heart defects, but I'm just letting God have this one. 

janejane-2

@2legbaby We did ICSI and my OB pretty much made it sound like the ditching the test wasn't an option. We do want the test so I didn't protest the "mandate". OB did say it #s were only slightly higher than "regular" pregnancies but just enough to warrant the test. 

kelrauh

@2legbaby - besides on this site I had never heard that ivf babies especially icsi were at higher risk for anything. I believe we are told by our re that it doesn't have an effect the babies. I'm amazed at the differences of the doctors. 

ale9687

@kelrauh our RE gave us a chart with statistics of normal, ivf and ivf icsi preganancies. The stats were all so close dh and I didn't have any concerns. My ob wasn't either with what the additional test, they all said if the mfm reccomends it why not but they wouldn't have had a problem with us not doing it. We just had our a/s and the mfm said from their perspective everything looked great but the Echo is so much more precise it'll pick up anything they can't see. 

wifeinraleigh28

My doctor said the same thing @JaneJane. I'm happy and willing to take all precautions that are recommended. It is also my understanding that if they catch something early that there are treatments and ways to prepare, so it sounds like a good idea to me. I'm also happy to have the peace of mind that everything is normal, which it probably is for all of us anyway!

2legbaby

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the feedback- seems like doctors are on one side or the other. We definitely signed something prior to IVF about increased risks with ivf/icsi. I had also read the risks are pretty low and comparable to natural births and unfortunately the echo has risks (very small for those ladies who have had them done!) too as prolonged ultrasound causes heating of tissues and can cause air bubbles, so I don't want the test unless it is felt medically necessary. I will talk to my OB but I am guessing since she hasn't mentioned it she will likely fall in the camp of not doing the echo. I am hoping she is as perfect as her anatomy scan showed!

BlueEyedDreamer

@2legbaby With DS, our OB never mentioned an echo, and we didn't have one done. With this pregnancy, I'm with a new OB (we moved), and they strongly recommended it. Just goes to show how different these doctors' perspectives can be!